Item 1: Monday I write a post about doctors leaving Puerto Rico. Today, El Nuevo Día has the same topic plastered on the front page. Their take: droves of specialists leaving the Island. The numbers are staggering: According to the local College of Surgeons, 433 specialists left Puerto Rico in 2003, 512 in 2004 and 819 up to June 2006. (No mention of 2005.) Listed culprits: the rising cost of malpractice insurance, reduced internships and declining revenues because of the botched Health Reform. Biggest concern: only 250 or so obstetricians left, some averaging close to 50 births a week.
Item 2: Caguas mayor "Willie" Miranda and Our ungovernor Aníbal "The Jellyfish" Acevedo are sniping at each other. Jellyfish concedes he may need to go to a primary (ho-hum) while Willie Wonky claims the central government is freezing his city out of development...and yet that the freeze-out is not due to the ungovernor but to his "incompetent cabinet." Pistols at 10 paces would be much cleaner, more effective and better entertainment.
Item 3: The Fecal-Filled Fools of the legislature are in a tax-manic spasm and if they can't tax it, they want to slap fees on it. Current target: homeschooling parents. Seems some dung-brained senator whose name I won't Albita Rivera wants to charge these parents $125 because they homeschool. And that the money be paid to the president of the local General Education Council. That's it. The idea is to fork over some dough because--hell--there isn't enough to go around, I guess. Hey, Albita, why don't you tax intelligence? We know you and your criminal cronies won't pay a penny...ever.
Item 4: Mayagüez mayor José "Guillito" Rodríguez wants to form a new mayors' organization that will include all 78 mayors and work to solve issues in Puerto Rico without political partisanship. Hey, Gullet-head, We already have an organization for that: it's called Puerto Rico.
Item 5: A letter to the Editor of El Nuevo Día spoke about the fourth victim of the Guánica "massacre." The letter writer called him a "nice, respectful young man" and implied he was a tragic victim of a heinous crime. Maybe so. But he was in the car with three known hoodlums that went cruising for trouble. He may have been "nice" and "respectful," but his judgement was seriously flawed.
Item 6: The All-Star Game of 2006 featured a tepid tribute to Roberto Clemente, with some poorly-named award dropped in his widow's hands. Pathetic. But Vera Clemente handled it with class while Bud "The Screwball" Selig whiffed again.
Item 7: The secretary of miseducation Rafael Aragunde has suggested that school cafeteria employees double-up as handicapped student attendees. Hey, Rafey-baby, why stop there? Let's make janitors Guidance Counselors! But here's the killer: Let's turn teachers into educators! Huh?! HUH?! Is THAT a winner or what? The only thing better would be turn you from secretary to ex-secretary. Rafey-baby, take a hint: take a hike.
The Jenius Has Spoken.