Some Things Gotta Be Said

Long. Live. Stupidity.

However:

Example the First: The "Proto-Weasel," Our misbegotten ungovernor Alejandro García, is uncaptain of a badly-sinking ship, with Us as the long-suffering passengers. The Proto-Weasel, whose face always looks like he really wants to be evil but his mommy won't let him, allegedly hand-picked a wormy Cabinet from the dregs of pseudo-talented parasites and is now watching as plenty of them are running away so fast the vacuum threatens to suck the paint off La Fortaleza. The stupidity is rampant, but just thinking that one can "fix Puerto Rico" or "make a real difference" simply by occupying the now-ungovernor's mansion is hubris at best and sub-zero IQ at worst.


Example the Second: Speaking of sub-standard IQs, enter one Ricky "Fraud Frat" Rosselló, son of the infamous corruptiongovernor Pedro "Liar Liar" Rosselló. Like smegma from a peter (or in this case, from a pedro), Reeky is a pusbag. I don't give a rat's (f)Reeky atriopore for what goes on in the bootlicking excuse called the statehood party, but the fetid rise of Reeky Fraud Frat needs to be placed in context.

A thumbnail run of the last 5 sorry wretches stinking up La Fortaleza looks like this:

1) Pedro the Liar: Pediatric surgeon, major health agency director.
2) Sila the Quitter: Mayor of San Juan, Secretary of State, major agency director.
3) Aníbal the Jellyfish: Lawyer, representative in the House, Head Beggar in Washington.
4) Luis the Larva: Lawyer, multi-agency director, Head Beggar in Washington.
5) Alejandro the Proto-Weasel: J.D. degree, Senator and major agency director.

All of those on the list, regardless of how feckless and criminal their tenures in office were (right, Liar and Jellyfish?) came in having established themselves as somewhat useful, as having at least tried to prove themselves openly. Furthermore, they came in directly beholden to a legacy that they at least said they respected. In other words, they may have been parasitic scum, but they had certain (minimal) standards.

Now Reeky Fraud Rat skitters in. His academic degree is suspect, the """paper""" he """"""wrote"""""" was merely a case of "he was a grad monkey pair of hands," he gets a cushy job at the Medical Center for which he was as qualified as Bob the Builder and it has become obvious that Reeky Fraud does not have and will not have any standard except himself.

So answer this: what could a fetid pus-addled rodent (sorry rodents) like Reeky want with La Fortaleza?

Only one thing: whatever it can get as fast as it can get it. Fuck everything else.

And the stupid excuse for a stupid party will do the stupid thing and put the stupid Reeky Fraud Rat in position to do Us stupid all the way to where the Sun was never meant to shine.


Example the Third: Because Our """journalists""" deserve that respectable title exactly as much as hyena spit does, a mini-herd of them jumped on a lickpittle hatchet job about My Island called something like "Puerto Rico: Zombie Island. This piece of shit portrays Us as swamped up to Our necks in drugs, that We are so zonked out that Our population is at risk of dying in a generation, all of it couched in language so ponderously hyperbolic and crass that if it had been about ANY other topic, My Brethren would have giggled and hooted. But because it was about Us, and We ferociously lust for any attention, even hyperbolically-stupid bullshit like this "special report" ("special" as in "Special Olympics"), first a """news team""" jumped on it with all hooves and even had the unmitigated idiocy of claiming that they had asked the ungovernor to comment on their scum-sucking wallowfest, To the Proto-Weasel's credit, he passed.

Now if he just passed out permanently, then We got something good.

So after seven and a half months, the ability to just let stupidity slide by unremarked runs out. Not that stupidity will ever end, but there's only so much of it a Jenius can take before the keyboard needs to be pecked at to keep the record straight.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

The Big Lie, Or "61%" Of Statehood

"On June 15, 2009, the United Nations Special Committee on Decolonization approved a draft resolution calling on the Government of the United States to expedite a process that would allow the Puerto Rican people to exercise fully their inalienable right to self-determination and independence. Subsequent actions by the governments of the United States and Puerto Rico paved the way for the Puerto Rican status referendum, 2012, scheduled to be held on 6 November 2012."

Okay, Wikipedia is far from the end-all and be-all of reliability, but this brief paragraph manages to confuse an already muddled issue. To wit: "Subsequent actions by the governments of the United States and Puerto Rico paved the way for the Puerto Rican status referendum, 2012, scheduled to be held on 6 November 2012." What amounted to "U.S. government action" was a barely-mumbled "Go ahead." Nothing more. But it sure sounds like the U.S. of part of A. was fully on-board, huh?

Now Let's go to the "Recent Developments" section of the Puerto Rico entry, where We'll find the Big Lie: "For the first question, 54 percent voted against the current Commonwealth status, and in the second question, over 61 percent favored statehood."

As an Anonymous commenter said about My post "33.1% Statehood = Nothing":

"(At the time of the comment) 1,730,245 people voted in the 1st question. In the second question, 802,179 voted for statehood. Therefore you need to divide 802,179 by 1,730,245 to get the % of voters that wanted statehood, which equals ~46%." (Emphasis Mine.)

Anonymous was spot-on, with less than 46% statehood "support". Where did the 61% come from? From the enormous dropoff between the first tier of votes  (Yes/No to current status, with over 1.74 million votes) to the status options, where only 1.3 million votes were cast. Yes, over 480,000 people left the second tier blank, or in My case, wrote IMPOSSIBLE across all three options.

[Note: I wrote a lengthy response for the Comments section of that post where I (a) acknowledge that 33.1% is NOT the right figure and (b) indicate that I was trying to play the "numbers lie" that the statehooders were trying to pull, only I did a poor job of giving that context in the post. Where that comment went, I have no idea. But the gist of it is repeated here.]

So the true percentage of statehood votes can be calculated: how many votes for statehood divided by the total number of NO votes. And that comes out to about 45.6% or less.

Not a mandate by ANY stretch of the imagination and another bitter defeat to shove down statehooders' throats. Although given their losing record on Election Day, their throats are way over-jammed with defeat.

So what the statehood party did was to quickly embrace "The Big Lie." Grab a number that somehow puts the best face on denying reality and run with it. For recent expertise on this propaganda technique, reference FoxNews(hit); for historical perspective, track down one Joseph Goebbels.

What it all boils down to is knowingly lying loudly and repeating the lie as often as possible to make people believe it is the truth. 

But it didn't take long for media outlets to catch on that "61%" was another example of--in Twain's words--"Lies, damn lies and statistics." From ABCNews to Yahoo! to The Huffington Post and even some dim-bulb backwater like Red State figured out that, no, Puerto Rico had not asked for statehood; that in fact, it hadn't even come close, since after all, the referendum or plebiscite or whatever was non-binding. Again.

And yet...they kept repeating The Big Lie, that "61%" that made it all seem like Puerto Rico was marching on Congress to pound the doors down with their "Our statehood demand." Dramatic story. Stirs emotions, both pro and con. Is all a lie.

The goal of The Big Lie is to frame context, to force-fit an issue in an angle and perspective that benefits the propagandist. It is a deliberate distortion, a bare-faced fib aimed at tricking the unwary, the mentally lazy, the largely-indifferent and inflame the fanatical base. That's why it works: because most of Us fall into one or more of those categories. Harsh, but true.

Ultimately, The Big Lie either becomes its own reality--see FoxNews(hit) and the "America" they present--or comes crashing into Truth and pops like a soap bubble. Either way, The Big Lie is a short-term strategy, aimed at tilting a battlefield to preserve or extend or steal an advantage. It cannot win a war, much less when the battlefield, like Ours, is neither defined nor powered by will.

For The Big Lie to work, it has to matter to enough people to act upon it, rightly or wrongly. When it comes to Our status, We don't care enough to want to act, even to make a firm decision, much less see it through. And when it comes to statehood, well, neither We nor the U.S. of part of A. gives anything close to a damn about it. If anything, too many of Us are willing to debase themselves to achieve "dignity" and "self-respect," a Big Lie that has led to the "61%" Big Lie...that will lead to another in this chain of political fibs.



The Jenius Has Spoken.


[Update: 15 Nov 2012: U.S. of part of A. Republicans in the House are "doubting" the plebiscite results, basically doing the "When you make up your minds" shuffle-dance that's been the staple cover-up for decades.  Sadly, the only men that can dance well enough to hide the truth are named Astaire or Kelly. And they're dead.]

Name Your Poison

The Larva...or Larva Lite?

Asshole Beggar with 4 years' worth of callouses on his knees or Asshole Beggar with no callouses anywhere? (Yet.)

A legislative (out)house with statehood thieves running rampant or a legislative (out)house with commonwealth apologists scheming to set up bigger scams?

Or how about a combination: Larva Lite plus Asshole Beggar with 4 years' worth of callouses on his knees and a even bigger legislative (out)house still dominated by statehood thieves being watched by rookie parasites?

Let Me put some names on these bags of pigcrap. The Larva is current (non)governor Luis Fortuño, he of the pencil neck and lead charm. Larva Lite is his opponent from the commonwealth party, Alejandro García, who like The Larva is a technocrat with the leadership skills of runny moss, but less experience.

Asshole Beggar is what Our Constitution calls the Resident Commissioner, the non-voting member of Congress whose only job is to suck...up to gringos and try to wheedle more money for welfare and party pockets. The current Asshole Beggar is Pedro Pierluisi, who acts like being at his party's events is like being a judge at a fart-smelling contest. His challenger is some non-cipher called Robert Cox and no, I will not use his last name to make a joke about sucking...up to Congress.

The legislative (out)house is roundly dominated by the statehood party, but has always been at loggerheads with The Larva, so it's actually like two bands of thieves fighting over loot. Given that The Larva is running far behind in polls (actually, he never runs: he kind of waddle-slides) and that 3 new parties have tossed their filthy underwear into the ring, We might be headed for a gang-bang poison chug-a-thon of historical proportions.

You see, one of the quirky brainfarts in Our Constitution is that if one party gains a "super-majority" in the legislative (out)house, members from other parties, based on the voting percentages garnered, are added to the (parasitic) body in order to reduce the "super" and leave just a majority.

So here's what could happen to have Us staggering like pole-axed oxen come January 2, 2013 (the day all hell will break loose):

--Larva Lite gets elected as (faux)governor with barely 50% of the total votes cast.

--Asshole Beggar with Callouses On Craven Knees (ABCOCK) wins with an easy majority of the votes, around 55%, meaning he--the "Washington Whiner"--is "more powerful" than the "Fortaleza Feeb."

--Of the 4 remaining parties, one gets enough votes to validate members in the legislative (out)house (the independence party), but at least one other party reaches the magical 2.5% voting percentage to trigger participation in...

--Balancing a legislative (out)house that again shows a "super majority" of statehood party vermin, proving again that Our voters are the stupidest creatures on Earth.

End result? A split government with the (faux)governor of one party having to square off against the experienced COCK...Asshole Beggar of the other, while the legislative (out)house blocks as many (faux)governor actions as it can and tries to rebalance its shenanigans with 3-4 new members as loose cannons...until the cash flow is properly resettled.

Oh, and to add rotting fish and spoiled veggies to the mix, while We're at the voting booths there will be two plebiscites: one to decide whether We want to amp up the status noise to 11 for a year or two and the other a repeat vote on whether to reduce the size of the legislative (out)house.

You know, there are slow ways to commit suicide and fast ways. We are choosing a very very slow way...



The Jenius Has Spoken.

How Fascist is Puerto Rico? Part II

If you missed Part I, you know where to find it. 

Continuing the list of 14 Characteristics of Fascism, as applied to Puerto Rico. The definition followed by My Comments:

8) Religion and Government are Intertwined. Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government's policies or actions.

CHECK. But the form it takes in Puerto Rico is that of religious and political leaders coming together to form coalitions. Think of Jorge Raschke's annual political rally in front of the Capitol Building or Archbishop Roberto González becoming a de facto advisor to government agencies. Religion and politics are two faces of the same hypocritical coin used to fleece the flock.

9) Corporate Power is Protected. The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.

CHECK. CHECK! Business and industrial leaders here are in up to their hairlines with both major parties. In fact, it's considered "sound business strategy" to do so, and the slope from "contributor" to "crony" is just a matter of a few more dollars and mutual greed. 

10) Labor Power is Suppressed. Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed.

CHECK. But again, with a variant: the leaders of major labor unions "jump ship" and form close ties with government and business leaders, thus enriching their own pockets by staying in power and weakening the overall labor movement. It isn't rare to see a union have a president/council made up of people who've been in power for a decade or more. Their lot improves visibly, while the colleague they represent wonder why their union dues are increasingly worthless.

11) Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts. Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. Free expression in the arts is openly attacked, and governments often refuse to fund the arts.

CHECK. Although this one could be more cultural than political as My Brethren have long had an anti-intellectual streak, seeing "smarts" and "book learning"--usually related to mastery of English--as a denial of being Puerto Rican. (Yeah, I said it.) What We worship is "cunning", which sees arts and intellectual pursuits as worthless. Thus the decades-long fight about funding the Institute of Puerto Rican Culture (seen rightly as a hotbed of anti-government, patriotic pursuits), the decades-long use of Education as a political pigpen/slush fund and the disdain of government for the protection and respect due to higher education and its related endeavors (Ricky Rat and Supertube Scumbag being the latest in a long list of examples.)

12) Obsession with Crime and Punishment. Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws.

CHECK, but in a different way. The recent "revamped" Penal Code is the perfect example, as it increased penalties for a wide variety of crimes, but left punishment for "white collar" and "political" crimes pretty much where they were. Tack on the recent plebiscite to deny the right to bail (which rightly failed), the Justice department so riddled and stunted by political appointees that (A) cases and convictions have dropped despite a 21% increase in crime and (B) the whole police/Justice system is under investigation at the federal level, plus how much the "Fools in charge" fear Us and only then do you have a clearer picture of what kind of obsession the Fools have with crime and punishment: it is a tool to control Us to protect themselves. Let's not forget, either, how much the prison population vote gets courted here...

13) Rampant Cronyism and Corruption. Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability.

CHECK! CHECK! CHECK! OH SHIT! CHECK! The level of corruption and cronyism in Puerto Rico is so wide and deep, it isn't isolated, it's systemic. It's not skin cancer: it's AIDS. A Comptroller official two administrations ago estimated that corruption cost Us about 15% of Our roughly $9 billion budget: he was wrong. It's closer to 40% and may be even higher. The Larva's wife and several close friends are on the take. Senate president Mad Dog has his father and several close friends on the take. House president Gluttonny has her family and lesbian support group on the take. Go on down the line and the numbers grow, the cronyism spreads, the corruption rots wider and deeper. And oh yes, it involves the commonwealth party as well. We're deep into denial about this, making fun of it, but if We were truly pissed off about it (and not benefiting or wanting to benefit from it in some way), We would have Mussolinied these crapbags a long time ago. 

14) Fraudulent Elections. Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.

CHECK, barely. Our crapbags are not much into subtlety here, preferring the "O'Neill Method" of fake voters/fake votes to steal elections. And rather than turn the judiciary openly, We have the Electoral Commission, a quasi-judicial forum where the cheating can be coordinated and the trick is to get your cheating scheme in at the very last minute so the opposition can't trump it.


That's 7-of-7 today, and using My 1 (Utopia) to 100 (Totally screwed) scale, I'd put this half at 86... and rising. With yesterday's 74 and averaging, We're at 80 on the Fascist Scale.

80.

Just My opinion, but you tell Me, Brethren: Am I wrong? Is the number really much lower? And if it is higher, then when do We Mussolini these bastards?



The Jenius Has Spoken.

How Fascist Is Puerto Rico? Part I

Way back in the dawn of time--2004, to be exact--I commented on an article titled "The 14 Characteristics of Fascism," by Lawrence Britt. I posted My comment to a forum, amidst the horrified reaction of the murderous moron stealing another election and Tullyvision Studios picked up the post. Still has it on their website, too.

Now back then, I applied the "fascism prism" to the U.S. of part of A. Still do, which is why I can tell you that Obama has done practically nothing to reverse the trend. (Keep that in mind in November, okay?) And though I had a couple of "Hmmm" moments concerning this topic and My Island, only now does it seem imperative I apply Britt's description to Puerto Rico. You'll see why.

Here are the first 7 characteristics of fascism and My comments:

1) Powerful and Continuing Nationalism. Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottoes, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia.

CHECK. We are, to put it mildly, as jingoistic as the worst colonial outpost or the defeated Deep South can be. We don't know exactly why We act that way, but We do and think it's a really good thing.

2) Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights. Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of "need." 

NOT YET. What keeps Us out of CHECK (get it?) is the federal government watching over Us, but We're not far from clipping rights: the legislature already has--on the books--a mandatory 3-year sentence for disrupting their """work""" or disrespecting them. Whittling away at rights never makes them stronger.

3) Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause. The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe.

CHECK. "They" are evil. "They" are crooks. "They" are ruining Us. Everybody says that, whipping up a frenzy of largely political smokestorms that obscure the real problems We have, to the benefit of those basically creating and gaining benefits from those problems.

4) Supremacy of the Military.  Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.

CHECK. "But Jenius, We don't have an army." Yes We do: the police. Under The Larva (there's an image...) the police have received more funding than ever before and--pay attention to this--a larger advertising budget than they've ever had. Despite this, crime is rampant and corruption in the police force is endemic. But does the government tackle that as a problem? No chance in hell.

5) Rampant Sexism. The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Opposition to abortion is high, as is homophobia and anti-gay legislation and national policy. 

CHECK. Women do hold positions of power here--visibly--but are often cut out of the real power structure (cut to house president Jenniffer "Gluttonny" González nodding her head...) Opposition to abortion is opposition to a woman's choice, homophobia is widespread in government to the point of wanting to needlessly and stupidly amending the Constitution to define marriage as "between man and woman," an intrusion into personal lives that has no politically rational basis.

6) Controlled Mass Media. Sometimes the media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives.

CHECK. I've made My position very clear about the Ferré-Rangel cartel, but other media are equally compromised to the point where they are nothing but puppets. In one case, that of Antulio, who cross-dresses up like a puppet, the metaphor is reality, as his colon houses the elongating arm of one Thomas "Mad Dog" Rivera. 

7) Obsession with National Security. Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.

CHECK. We don't have "national" security here: what We have is "power structure" security. Watch the current campaign closely and see how fear is the primary motivator of almost every ad. Listen to press conferences to see how fear is used as the stick to make you stand where they want you to. Notice how fear permeates the public discourse. Those in power are afraid of Us, so they use fear against Us. Seeing how corrupt, venal and useless they are, one can glimpse how fear becomes their god, their shield and their weapon.


In this first half of the list, We're 6-for-7. On a scale of 1 (Utopia) to 100 (Utterly fascist), I'd say that on these characteristics, We're at about 74. Certainly nowhere near good, but not so lost that We have to go all French on the government's ass and take to the sewers to start killing the rats.

But that's the first half. Just the first half.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

Bitter, Fraudulent Medicine

One of the "series" in The Jenius, several posts related to a topic, is about the astonishing incompetence, hypocrisy and fraudulent behavior of one Yocasta Brugal, a walking waste of space at the San Juan Bautista School of Medicine.

But emerging as an even filthier latrine of incompetence, hypocrisy and criminal behavior is the University of Puerto Rico School of Medicine. In recent days, they hired--to a fully-tenured position--the youngest son of Pedro Stupid Rosselló, former asswipe governor, one Ricardo "Ricky Rat" Rosselló. Ostensibly, Ricky Rat is some kind of stem cell researcher and he "sold" the UPR on the idea of hiring him as they had no one with that specialty on their staff.

But thanks to Luis J. Villanueva, We have a clear picture of what Ricky Rat is, in a beat-down so fucking thorough I wet Myself in admiration. The lowlights: Ricky Rat is not a qualified researcher in any field, his few accomplishments are inflated beyond reason and there are easily 80-100 better qualified professors and candidates than the Rat.

Toss in that the UPR publishing arm will release a book by Ricky Rat and that within a month of his fraudulent and disgusting hiring he was given paid leave and you have a case where the Rat is not a single repulsive creature: he's part of a huge sewage pack.

Hundreds of UPR professors toil under temporary contracts for years, but Ricky Rat oozed right in, like the well-greased douchebag he is, to gain what he isn't even remotely close to earning. But there is one thing you can say about Ricky Rat (for now): he ain't no criminal.

In the category of "Hiring Criminals Any Way You Can," the UPR School of Medicine gives a job to one René Vazquez Botet, alias "Supertube Scumbag," a man who was convicted and sentenced to 5 years for fraud and corruption charges while he was working the aqueduct project locally known as the "Supertube." Two points need to be stressed here:

1) Supertube Scumbag is--ostensibly--a pediatric ophthalmologist. What the fuck was he doing working with an aqueduct project? Well, We know the answer: stealing.

2) Under whose (mis)administration was this whole Supertube scam? Pedro Stupid Roselló's. Uh-huh.

Last year, within weeks after being released from prison to house arrest in Puerto Rico, Supertube Scumbag is hired on a part-time basis by the UPR School of Medicine. That means that a convict--a fucking criminal bag of political pigshit--is hired to teach future doctors at what is supposed to be the premiere medical school of the Island.

You mean to tell me there was NO OTHER FUCKING PERSON better-qualified for this part-time teaching position than Supertube Scumbag? No one?

What's bringing this up to a boil now is that later this week, Supertube Scumbag is coming up for tenure--for the third time. Yes, the UPR School of (Fraudulent) Medicine is thinking about making Supertube Scumbag a permanent member of their faculty by violating due process, because, you know, criminals make awesome teachers.

If any of you get the impression that Stupid Rosselló is some sort of master manipulator, you might be on the right path. His two (mis)administrations are the most corrupt--by far--in Our history and nearly every major player in the current (non)administration, from The Larva and Mad Dog and Mouth Fart (Marcos Rodriguez, The Larva's pet retarded pig) and many others were part of Stupid Rosselló's fraud squad...including Il Castrato, the prison pansy whose convictions are now history.

How deep and wide and severe is the corruption on My Island? I've shown you a facet of the tip of an iceberg, maybe 1% of the visible 10%...and 90% buried in the shitty muck of what used to be Our Future. Hard to swallow, that is.

Bitter medicine indeed.



The Jenius Has Spoken.


P.S. UPR president Dingbat Jones, or whatever his name is, says he will not approve the nomination of Supertube Scumbag for a tenured position. Yeah. Okay.

Vote Or Shut Up...Not

Through some concatenation of idiocy, composed of 34% stupidity, 18% ignorance, 22% illogic and 26% moral turpitude, a campaign was launched that told Us--straight up--to "Vota o Quédate Callao"--"Vote or Shut Up."

Do tell.

Actually, a truer translation would be "Vote or Keep Quiet," but the sentiment of "Shut Up" is clearly indicated and shoved down Our throats. I won't forget that in My response.

The problem with this kind of campaign is that it uses a very Republican (as in "GOP") technique--gross oversimplification--to create a false dichotomy, an unrealistic "black or white" option set. Gross oversimplification does to rational arguments what performing brain surgery with a golf club does, so it's up to Us to set the record straight.

First: Voting is a right. It might actually be a duty, but it is defined as a right and as such, a person has the option to decline to use it. One can abstain from voting and that in itself is a decision within the parameters of a democratic process.

Second: Voting and "speaking up " are two different rights. The idea that one's right to free speech, to lob verbal grenades at the rotting vermin We elect and the ugly-ass problems they don't solve and actually create, is inextricably linked to voting is beyond ludicrous: it is criminally stupid.

Let's see if the "logical" structure holds up: Vote or lose your property. You have the right to property, so connect voting to property and We can turn the next election into an eminent domain orgy! There is no logic or rational connection in "vote or shut up," but that hasn't stopped these brain-dead pigs from squealing it over and over again.

Third: "Speaking up" will happen anyway. The notion that by not voting a person simply has to shut up has all the basis in reality that the Book of Mormon has (and no, I don't mean the Tony Award-winning musical.) Even if a person doesn't actually think the very flawed premise through, they will grasp that (A) Who will know if I voted or not? [more on this point below] and (B) Who's going to make Me shut up?

Expanding point A, yes, there is a record of who voted. But who knows if vociferous citizen The Jenius (for example) voted in 2012? And will they be around every time I bitch-slap ignorance and thievery to scream "He didn't vote!"?

No.

The underlying message of this campaign is not a reinforcement of democracy. It isn't meant to build awareness of a citizen's rights and the power/responsibility duet they represent. Uh-uh. The purpose of this campaign is to continue to imply that the power is not Ours: it's theirs. "Theirs" being the people We elect, the people We vote for, the people who are fucking supposed to WORK FOR US.

Any wonder the whole false dichotomy/rancid pig squeal campaign has the support of every local party, also known as "Tweedledumb, Tweedledumber and the 4 Mental & Moral Dwarfs"?

And because you simply have to talk back to these pig squealers in a way their microscopic proto-brains can understand, here's My response to "Vota o Quédate Callao": Mámenmelo y Quédense Callaos.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

El Vocero: A Bloody Tampon

Free press. The Fourth Estate. The Voice of the People. The Watchful Eye. The Preserver of Democracy. When it comes to what the power of the press is in Our society, the ideal is clear: it holds the power of government in check.

Somehow, for local rag El Vocero, that phrase became "It gets checks from government powers."

El Vocero is a """newspaper""" that was launched in the 1970s as the then-most extreme example of "populist" press, often equated with yellow journalism. Featuring graphic photos of dead bodies on the front page and several more in its interior pages, El Vocero was often described as "dripping blood if you squeezed it." For years, it kept its reputation as a blood-rag and in that interim, it became the highest-selling Puerto Rican paper in New York.

Misery sells.

In the 1990s, local """newspaper""" mogul, the Ferré-Rangel cartel, owners of El Nuevo Día, launched a "lighter" """newspaper", Primera Hora. (A "lighter" version of El Nuevo Día would be like finding a lighter version of a fart.) Aimed at a younger crowd and focused on "don't read," Primera Hora started to erode El Vocero's local advertising base. That along with undue and unethical pressure in ad agencies by the Ferré-Rangel cartel practically killed El Vocero, who tried to erase its bloody image and become a newspaper, for once.

For a time, they succeeded. For a time.

As the economy worsened and the Ferré-Rangel cartel played faster and looser with circulation numbers, sales data and ethical breaches, topped by a strike that further gutted the rag, El Vocero ended up being printed on shitty leftover El Nuevo Día paper and on their presses.

With the comatose state of The San Juan Star, the only English-language daily, the """newspaper""" field in Puerto Rico was reduced to El Nuevo Día and Primera Hora, two sides of the same turd. And Primera Hora was gutted of its senior (read: higher salaried) journalists in order to pump up the chance of selling the Ferré-Rangel puppy trainers to a Chilean company.

So.

What happens when El Vocero, the erstwhile blood-red rag, reappears as a daily, with a suspiciously blue tinge...given away FREE...and all of that based on having received some $20 million in government contracts, incentives and advertising?

El Vocero had a $14.5 million debt with the local government, now run by a (non)administration leaking blood like a late-stage Ebola patient. So in the kind of illegal legerdemain that makes the statehood blue the color of theft, the suddenly 5 new companies that broke off from the original El Vocero rathole are now swimming in money...that comes from Our taxes.

In short, El Vocero was rolled up and jammed into a bleeding hole to try to stop the hemorrhaging of a failed (non)administration. What was once a bloody rag is now a bloody tampon.

Speaking of which, the president of this new conglomerate for theft is one Peter W. Miller, who is an attorney/consultant and under contract as an advisor to senate president Thomas "Mad Dog" Rivera. Bloody hell.

Furthermore, the illegally-fired workers from the strike have yet to be paid their Court-sentenced salaries and benefits. Apparently the 1-to-6 move-to-loot-Our-taxes is being used to also avoid paying what the workers earned twice over.

And this, sad to say, is business as usual on My Island. A theft-crazed political party uses tax monies to crap out a sweetheart deal for a political crony, then uses that property--which should be a bastion of Truth--to spew rot like some sort of overflowing, over-pressurized sewage system. And if in the process these thieves, these disgusting vermin, can also screw workers from their earned pay, well that's just even better.

A word to El Vocero: tampons are not permanent. You will be discarded, rightly, and with extreme distaste. As for Peter: you are one, small and crabbed. And to the pus-infested seepage called the statehood party: gangrene stinks. The only cure at that point is amputation, fire...or death.



The Jenius Has Spoken.


[Update: 2 Oct 2012: As a new free daily paper hits Our streets, here's a look at the "splash webpage" of El Vocero, clearly defining what its true agenda is. You don't have to be up on all Our political nuances to see the crock of bullshit for what it is. And for those of you who told Me I was attacking statehooders and El Vocero because I'm biased, bite Me.] 

[Update: 19 Oct 2012: San Juan Mayor Jorge "Sniffy" Santini, is linked to a scheme of pardoning tax debts for Caribbean International News Corporation--"owners" of El Vocero--in exchange for ad space. Our tax dollars tossed away for Sniffy's ad space...and maybe a little nose party for the, you know, down times.]

My Vote In November: Pepe Le Pew

Back in November of 2008, I stepped into a voting booth made of brown wrapping paper, masking tape and what appeared to be rat shit and smacked My 3 vari-colored table-cloth-sized ballots on the narrow ledge, made from splintery cast-off wood that might have been used to build temporary huts for the Viet Cong during the War.

I grabbed the first ballot, the one where We as happy-go-lucky residents of My Island get to vote for the person who will take his shit and shits to La Fortaleza and the person who will get on an airplane, fly his skanky ass to Washington D.C. and there proceed to do everything possible to act without dignity or self-respect and beg like a krocodil-addled street turd for money.

I pulled out a Sharpie--black, medium-tip if you have to know--and wrote in "Spongebob Squarepants" for governor and "Pepe Le Pew" for Head Beggar. (That We tend to call that skank in D.C. "resident commissioner" is willful denial of reality on Our part...)

As for the other two ballots, I wrote "Mierda" on one and "Más Mierda" on the other. Didn't care which one had which phrase. Still don't. Capped My Sharpie, gathered the three sheets, stepped out of the paper box, crumpled the ballots into wads and shoved them into their respective boxes. Got dirty looks from several people. Pretended to spit to make them look away.

You can take this description as My definition of utter and complete contempt for the wretched refuse We have as political vermin and you'd be right. You can also take it as My not-too-subtle vain chest-thumping of flicking My nose at the system. You'd be right. I'm not above petty symbolism if it tickles My fancy. But you must take this anecdote seriously, because it will be repeated--with a minor variation--in 2012.

To some people, My votes for Spongebob and Pepe Le Pew were "wasted." My thoughtful response to that is that those people are shitheads. To people like that, who think a vote is "wasted" unless it happens to be for the winning party/candidate/societal chancre, the whole democratic process is too complex for them to ever understand. A vote for anyone--anyone--in an election is just as valid as a vote for anyone else. Why, shitheads? Because a vote is a tally, a marker that says "I think this." And it counts.

Believing that a thought concretized as a vote is "wasted" is like believing that a donation to a cause is useless unless it is "big." But unlike donations, which come in different values, a vote's value is level across all such choices. (Or should be, except when Republicans fuck around with the system. Right Florida? Right Ohio?)

So: voting for Spongebob and Pepe Le Pew were perfectly legitimate, and I might add, perfectly accurate votes. You see, in modern democracies, and We barely have one, voters are often choosing an "image," a carefully-crafted bunch of lies meant to galvanize the already-convinced to get their asses out there and vote, while trying to lure "independents" (actually, the "indifferent") to make a mark under a certain name or symbol. Despite tons of lip service by lots of My Brethren that they are "voting by candidates and not by parties," the evidence is that they are lying: straight-party line voting still dominates Our wretched excuse for elections, which means We are electing a monolithic herd of disease-addled cooties every time around.

My vote for Spongebob was because of his image as a hard-working, caring, optimistic, generous and fun-loving character who incidentally still has more backbone than either Aníbal "The Jellyfish" Acevedo and Luis "The Larva" Fortuño. (Clarifying for statehooders: sponges do not have spines. That's the joke, see? Fuck it; have your dog explain it to you.)

My vote for Pepe Le Pew was also based on character, the eternal romantic, always optimistic, who will do whatever is in his power to woo his paramour, no matter how obvious and desperate said paramour's rejection becomes. When you consider that since 1898 We have been trying to "woo" the U.S. of part of A. to "make Us yours", and that their treatment of Us amounts to the same "Buzz off! You stink!" acrimony We see with Pepe Le Pew, then who else should We send to D.C. if not someone who knows exactly what that's like and soldiers on anyway?

"But Jenius," one of you will say, "You voted for cartoon characters. Cartoon characters can't hold public office!"

Yes they can. Are you going to tell Me that The Larva, Gluttonny, the Mad Dog and the whole fucking menagerie of parasitic vermin We have in government are actually better than cartoon characters? Hell, for one thing, cartoon characters would be smarter and cost Us far FAR less than these walking pusbags.

I deliberated for a few hours (yes, hours; like you've even come close to thinking seriously about your voting choices for 10 minutes) and decided that this year, I'm writing a big bold "Pepe Le Pew" for governor. For one, it's time We had an openly-defined skunk in La Fortaleza. For another, We need his kind of obsessive attention focused on Us, on wooing Us away from the endless waves of supercilious and incredibly pestiferous caca We endure daily and charm Us into believing that (A) La Fortaleza actually does care about Us and (B) that life with Pepe will be an improvement over dealing with hyenas, rats, snakes, weasels, cockroaches, silverfish, fleas, ticks, lice and tapeworms.

I haven't decided on My vote for Head Beggar except that I'll change his title to "Ass-Kissing Beggar" from now on. "Head" is too good a word to waste on offal.

As for the other two ballots of elected officials and the 27 or so other pieces of wasteful turd-baskets The Larva is tossing into the mix to create the biggest possible election shit stew in Our history, I'll cover each one with a choice insult, crude, sarcastic and aimed to insult anyone who reads it.

And that's how you make a vote really count.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

Bail Reform? No Way

On Sunday, My Brethren will vote on whether the current bail system should be reformed. The current system--under Constitutional protection--grants bail to every accused person, regardless of what crime they have been charged with. The suggested reform would eliminate bail on certain charges and leave it to a judge to determine whether bail should be allowed in other cases.

(There's another referendum vote going on this Sunday as well, concerning the swampy cesspool of shitheads We call the legislature. Since that vote will be non-binding, it's merely a political hack's desperate attempt to curry favor with My Brethren, and by political hack I mean the (non)governor, Luis "The Larva" Fortuño...long may he slime.)

Now the standard in the U.S. of part of A. is that bail can be optional. Supporters of this bail reform point to that as a reason for Us to do the same. Well, the U.S. of part of A. also has folks going into schools and gunning people down; should We do that, too?

And no, My argument is not specious. Just because something is "done in the U.S. of part of A." doesn't make it automatically the standard. In this case--as in many others--it specifically makes it "the standard We should avoid." Simple reason: the U.S. of part of A. has the largest prison population in the world AND the highest per capita of its population in prison. 

Nifty, huh? World leader and all that shit!

Bail is not an isolated process: it is part of the judicial system. What does it say about a judicial system that consistently and systematically seeks to put more and more people in jail? Is this a judicial system or is it a dominance system?

If it is a judicial system and the results are the largest prison population in history, what does it say about the society that harbors and uses it? Conclusion: that the society cares nothing about justice and cares only about punishment. That means it is a despotic society seeking to impose dominance on certain elements within it. Therefore, what the U.S of part of A. has is not a judicial system: it has a dominance system.

And the evidence bears this out. Clearly and unequivocally.

Blacks and Hispanics are far more likely to end up in jail than Whites, despite the fact that the overall crime rate amongst races in the U.S. of part of A. is similar...and has been for several decades.

Here are some numbers:

--Hispanics: 16.3% of the 2010 national population; 20.6% of the prison population.

--Blacks: including Hispanic Blacks, 13.6% of the national population; 39.4% of the prison population.

--Arrests: According to a Department of Justice statistics report (later removed), "...77.2 percent of all persons arrested were White or Hispanic, 20.3 percent of people arrested for offending were Black or Black and Hispanic; and the remaining 2.4 percent were of other races."

So, in terms of arrests: 77.2% are White/Hispanic, with 20.3% being Black/Hispanic. The estimated percentage of Whites arrested on all charges is 53.4%, and although Hispanics and Blacks only make up 29.9% of the total population, they account for 61% of the total prison population. 

Whites make up about 53.4% of all arrests, yet make up less than 34% of the prison population. (Other races are arrested/incarcerated, too.)

How is this disparity achieved? By converting the judicial system into a dominance system. It begins with bail and ends with sentencing.

But don't do it openly. Give it a catchy name, like "The War on Drugs." Since 1980, the prison population has quadrupled, primarily linked to the possession and use of drugs (not trafficking, which accounts for less than 29% of all sentencing.) And who amongst the racial groups have been slammed into jail more often than not, despite the fact that--again--the arrests rates amongst the races are almost the same?

You got it.

(For you statehooders: Blacks/Hispanics go to jail far more often than Whites, although the arrest rate for drug possession/use is virtually equal amongst all three races.)

The first step to making the dominance system work is to deny a person accused of a crime (real or imaginary) the chance to properly defend themselves. That means sending them to jail, under control of the penal system, where their actions and reputation are severely curtailed. And the easiest way to do that is by denying bail.

Any "reform" that seeks to curtail a right is a process aimed at eliminating as much of that right as possible. Think about it and you will see how that path has led to the current fascism-trumping-rights system We see in the U.S. of part of A. Under the pretense of "security" or "public good", human hyenas skulk. Their goal is not "security" or "public good": it is "their security" and "their good at your expense."

The only rational, reasonable and responsible vote possible this Sunday is "No" to the so-called bail reform. The Larva's witless gambit is another step in the wrong direction. It makes Us put Our faith on a judicial system made up of a police force so corrupt it could not even police itself and on a legal bureaucracy so corrupt and inept it too has been targeted for investigation by outsiders. 

Furthermore, it makes Us put Our faith on a political system so disgustingly vile, so nauseatingly corrupt and so horrendously stupid, that doing so would be clear grounds for arrest. And incarceration...without bail.




The Jenius Has Spoken.

[Update: 17 August 2012: From The Miami Herald.com, a post titled "Puerto Rico: Visions of a Police State." Of course it supports My point: I'm right.]

The Larva = Rampant Idiocy Plus

An """advisor""" to Our outhouse of representatives tweets that Obama should "take (Michelle) to your homeland, Kenya" because that's where he was "borned." She defends herself from charges of making a racist comment by later tweeting that her "most beloved nieces are black" and that she is "anti-Obama" and as such she fights him "with all my heart and passion, as a descendant of Germans!"

As a fellow boricua descendant of Germans, shut the fuck up, Fotze.

When asked about the controversy, numbnuts nongovernor Luis "The Larva" Fortuño said he didn't know anything about it. Despite it involving a leading advisor to the president of the outhouse, a key advisor to the party he ostensibly is the leader of and amidst a media storm emerging from media he claims to "dominate."

On another front, a contractor is fired from building a vocational school. The contractor claims he was dismissed because he refused to raise campaign funds for The Larva's flight from La Fortaleza. The Larva the goes on TV--on a show with the intellectual, moral and ethical values of a thieving crack whore on crocodil who spits on blind orphans--and claims that the firing was forced by the bond company.

The president of the bond company, United Surety & Indemnity Corporation, states that what The Larva said is categorically false, adding that "(W)e never get involved in the process of declaring a contractor as non-compliant; we can't do it, we don't want to and we aren't interested in doing so."

Now there's idiocy and then there's rampant idiocy. The advisor, it of the racist ilk, is an idiot. To expose your idiocy and racism in a public forum--and Twitter is not just "your followers," moron--is idiotic; to do so as a public employee is doubly so. To continue to expose your lack of intellectual and moral acumen is rampant idiocy. And to actively state your position that you want your country to become a part of another and not know how to conjugate a simple verb in their language is simply too much to be borne(d). That level of idiocy is called "statehooder".

That The Larva claimed to know nothing about the tweet controversy is idiotic. To do so in the midst of an election run-up period is doubly so, compounded by his cowardly non-reaction to the racist and erroneous statement made by the idiotic advisor. To then enter another fray, on what amounts to a gossip show run by a moral and mental defective of less social value than dog poop, indicates that the charges leveled against you have some truth to them, which makes the action rampant idiocy. But then to lie like a thieving bitch and make the situation worse, well, that level of idiocy is called "statehooder."

In this battle to the bottom between rampant idiots, The Larva is the clear and biggest loser, slamming into rock bottom way ahead of the barbarian (more accurate description than you know). A racist advisor, a stupid parasite in Our government, is bad; that the so-called "leader" of her party and her government makes 3 idiotic moves to her 2...well, that's clearly worse.

So Let's write "The Larva: R.I.P."

Yeah, I know: I was about to cheer wildly, too, but I momentarily forgot I meant it as "The Larva: Rampant Idiocy Plus."

But there's hope We can soon see what made Us want to cheer so much...



The Jenius Has Spoken.

Whiny Bag Of Shit

Long-time readers of The Jenius will remember--despite their best efforts, I assume--the myriad stupidities of former senator Jorge "Il Castrao" De Castro, a pathetic sub-weasel waste of space who "defied" the FBI when he was under investigation and is now a convicted criminal facing even more charges.

In his pitiful defense efforts, Il Castrao is whining--again--that he ratted on everybody he could way back in 2008 and that nothing, but nothing, has been done to these other people. He even points out that his current tax evasion charges should be dismissed because he brought them to the Justice Department's attention.

Oh. In other words, I told you I committed a whole slew of crimes, so you can't prosecute me on all of them because, well, you know, I'm already going to prison.

What a moron. Want to parade your """innocence""" in front of the feds now, O Castrated One?

So who's on the shit list Il Castrao threw to the feds?

--Businessmen such as Antonio Luis Ferré, president of El Nuevo Día, the largest newspaper chain in Puerto Rico; Jaime Fonalledas, president of Plaza Las Americas, the largest mall empire in Puerto Rico and highly-prominent corporate leaders such as Arturo Díaz, Miguel Vázquez Deynes and Rolando Cabral.

--Political figures such as ex-(out)house members Edwin Mundo and Angel Cintrón (currently highly-paid """government consultants"""; prominent lobbyists Alfredo Escalera and Guillermo Zúñiga; former senate president and now secretary of state(lessness) Kenneth McClintock and even current (non)governor Luis "The Larva" Fortuño.

There are more names, as many as 90 more, including The Larva's wife (she of the $500,00 annual income from a law firm that does the majority of mortgage closings on the Island...since 2008), current senators and representatives, advisors at the highest level and whatnot.

A cursory reading of the testimony Il Castrao spews leaves you with only two possible impressions: either he has a very vivid imagination...or he is telling the truth.

The devil, as they say, is in the details. And Il Castrao, pursued and persecuted for prosecution on so many fronts, spilled verbiage like Niagara Falls. He dropped names, dates, times, amounts, connections, events, activities, habits, routines and assignations like there was no tomorrow...and there wasn't. Not for him. For you see, he'd been under investigation for at least 2 years, amassing an evidence file with over 13,000 items (phone calls, e-mails, videos, etc.)

Let's take this one step at a time: Is it any surprise that given the weight of evidence and his public attitude of defiance and smarmy, shit-eating grins, that Il Castrao is going to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law? Nuh-uh.

And is it any surprise that despite his many claims, the verbal diarrhea flung by the pathetic Il Castrao has yet to culminate in another series of charges? No, not really.

There is a precedent here, one where a stupid, greedy, feckless bag of shit goes nuts raking in ill-gotten gains, dipping fingers in practically every corruption pie the statehood party ("Bakers of Large-Scale Corruption Since 1992!") could develop and then spilling his shitty guts when caught, only to discover that the (corruption) party turns its back on him and nothing much happens after that.

The precedent was then-secretary of (mis)eduction Victor "Delictor" Fajardo, going from fundraiser to felon. Did his lengthy accusations lead anywhere else? Not immediately.

Let Us remember that Delictor was part of the Pedro Stupid Rosselló (mis)administrations, 8 years so filthy in graft that no less a public entity than El Nuevo Día labeled them "the most corrupt in Puerto Rico's history" in a fiery editorial signed by...Antonio Luis Ferré.

Yes, the same guy accused by Il Castrao of paying about $10,000 a month to the party. You see, there's corruption and then there's corruption, at last that's how "Tony Two-Faced" appears to see it.

Is there evidence to substantiate Il Castrao's claims? Maybe, but the feds wouldn't sit on hard evidence for very long. To be able to nail more prominent local people would be a two-fold godsend involving crime-busting and power-mongering. The feds love that shit and would do everything they can to play that game over and over and over.

So the conclusion is: wait and see. Il Castrao, like every moral defective in history, is more likely to lie when the chips are down, but even a stupid animal like him knows when to fight to survive. Il Castrao was caught as blatantly red-handed as can be and his days as the defiant walking bag of shit have now been limited to being a whiny bag of shit.

But that doesn't mean he's wrong about his fellow fecal-filled future felons. It just means that, unlike Il Castrao, their time hasn't come. Yet.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

Fortuño = Panderer = Slut

A mental, emotional and moral defective straps on a gas mask and a bullet-proof vest, arming itself with a shotgun, an AK-47 and two handguns. This wretched piece of filth bursts into a movie theater, throws tear gas at the premiere crowd and then proceeds to shoot at them, killing 12 and wounding several dozen. At least one of the fatalities is a child.

Some 2750 miles away, a mental, emotional and moral defective decides that this is the perfect opportunity to grandstand, to pander, to suck up to its own fantasies about who they serve and declares 5 days of mourning for the victims in a Denver movie theater.

Having declared nothing--not a fucking thing--for the 19 killed on its own island last weekend.

The Denver walking bag of hyena shit doesn't deserve to be named here. Our walking bag of horseshit does: (non)governor Luis "The Larva" Fortuño, he of the insipid mind and invisible talent. Not one week removed from being (a useless) part of a major crime summit here--one involving several Federal agencies, such as the FBI, National and Homeland Security--The Larva "acts" now not to curtail crime or offer solutions, but to pander.

Pandering, at its most basic, is what a pimp does, a lowlife living off the efforts of others by catering to base desires.

That fits The Larva to a T.  Witness the free-for-all money grab he has the pea-brained nerve to call "Our government."

Pandering also refers to brown-nosing, sucking up, seeking to curry favor through obsequiousness and flattery, relying on hypocritically empty words and gestures to attract positive attention and gain results based on nothing but self-interest.

That fits The Larva to a T. But who is he trying to impress, this spastic trash heap of uselessness?

Republicans. Namely the right-wing style-over-substance idiots who are trying like hell to keep running the GOP like the iceberg ran the Titanic.

Doubt it? Okay, follow Me:

--Declaring 5 days of mourning is not a common act. What happened in Denver is a horrible tragedy, but is it any worse than 19 dead in one weekend in your own fucking back yard? And this after a year in which over 1,100 people were killed, a record in your own fucking back yard?

--Will the 5 days of mourning really express Our solidarity with the folks who lost loved ones and friends in Denver? In a small way, yes, but not when Our own deaths are not only higher in total, but literally closer to home. The Denver killings were the result of crime, so saying--as The Larva's ass-mouth fart does--that their crime "deserves" 5 days of mourning is also saying that Our crime is not worth that much to The Larva and his ilk. That, in fact, The Larva and his ilk care more about Denver than Us. And no, this isn't some whiny form of inferiority complex: it is the only conclusion to be drawn after 3 1/2 years of The Larva's arm's length (non)treatment of the crime surge under his watch.

--So if the 5 days of mourning are not meant to impress Us or really express any extensive and deep solidarity in Our name, that leaves only one reason: public profile in the U.S. of part of A. And the primary--hint and pun intended--reason for this bag of horseshit to take a public stance like this now is to attract mainland party attention. Period. 

Not that The Larva is actually worth true consideration, but has the Republican Mormon with millions to hide, Mitt "The NitWit" Romney, picked a running mate yet? (Side note: In 2008, then-candidate John McCain could've picked Romney, but after the background investigation--including taxes--McCain chose Alaska governor Sarah Palin. We all know how that turned out, but doesn't that speak volumes about Romney?)

Now I would love--like I love pepperoni pizza and Slim Jims--for Romney to short-list The Larva as a running mate. Love it! Not only would it confirm how fucking stupid Romney is and how deranged and desperate the GOP is, it would also confirm My conclusion here. As I have a habit of being right, I'd be able to continue My long-established habit.

But even if Romney doesn't short-sell--er, sorry, I've Bain, I mean, I've been having troubles with My keyboard--even if Romney doesn't short-list The Larva, his pandering will be noticed, this bare-faced, shameless attempt to whitewash his reputation "over there" from the roundly-deserved shit-headed reputation he has earned here. For a party that suckles so avidly at the ulcerous teats of misinformation and framing, The Larva just got himself a few brownie(nose) points.

The thing is, the difference between a panderer and a slut is who sells what. A panderer sells others; a slut sells himself. It's ridiculously obvious where The Larva lies on that scale.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

Puerto Rico 2016

Four years from now, We'll be four years deeper into Our interminable political-campaign-from-Hell, this misbegotten Patán Death March of Our collective soul or whatever We have floating inside Our bellies. Since this year's edition of the election-from-Hell features The Larva, current (non)governor Luis "Can't Find My Ass With A Map" Fortuño and The Slug, Alejandro "I Can't Get My Ass In Gear" García, I say We write the damn thing off as the largest example of human waste since New Math and try to figure out what might be coming at Us down the pike.

--Will We still be paying an abusive "fuel surcharge" in order to pay off enormously useless political debts that basically lined thieves' pockets?


--Will We still have a crumbling leaky morass of a water and sewer system virtually incapable of either collecting water, storing it, distributing it or charging rationally for it?


--Will Our tourism standing keep slipping by continuing to allow American Airlines ("Screw Puerto Rico: We're American") to throttle competition and serve as the strong-arm element of the major hotel cartel that blocks true innovation in Our services and marketing?


--Will We still have daily newspapers more akin to pure propaganda hogwash than information gazettes, radio "news" shows more akin to the campaign-from-Hell than discussion forums and TV news more akin to skanky gossip than actual information?


--Will We still have a crime rate eating at Our entrails like cancer eats colons?


--Will We still be years behind in developing Our educational system, or will We have made the plunge to being decades behind?


--Will We reorient Our economy to the quick-acting, quick-thinking realities of the early 21st century or will We still be party(politick)ing like it's 1959?


--Will We have an even more bloated government wasteland pushing 30% total Island employment or will We have the bloated 26% beached whale We have now?


--Will We slow down or stop the brain drain that enriches "them" rather than Us?


--Will We stop or reverse the welfare sump pump that sucks the life out of Our society?


--Will We come even a millimeter closer to actually giving a damn about these things?

Puerto Rico 2016: It's closer than you think.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

Power Lies

Take a look at this graphic:

It supposedly shows that although the average cost of a barrel of oil has dropped substantially, the average cost We pay per kilowatt-hour of electricity has gone up--substantially--and that Our average electric bill has gone up because "We are paying for The Larva's (corrupt) friends." That last is based on several prominent statehood party (the Legion of Fools) members that have been caught stealing electricity.

Now, has the average price per oil barrel dropped? Well, that's not what the graphic states. It says that the price of a barrel of oil was $147.00 in June 2008, not an average, but a single data point. The graphic states that oil has averaged $80.58 in 2012, but what's the data source? CNN Money has oil averaging over $102.00 a barrel in 2012, while Index Mundi has it averaging $112.50 a barrel (Jan-Mar 2012). Now Index Mundi does factor in oil futures, but even so, how is this data compatible with "$80.58" as an average oil barrel price in 2012?

It isn't. Always remember: Lies, damn lies and statistics. If you factor in the oil plunge in 2009, when oil was trading at between $35.00 and $82.00 a barrel, then--and only then--could anyone say that oil was "averaging" $80.58, but never in 2012. The fact is that oil is trading, which means being bought and sold, at well over $100 a barrel, so far in 2012.

Now, despite the falsity, does this mean We are paying "the most expensive electricity in the world"?

Here are the average residential rates across the 50 States in 2009-2010, according to ElectricChoice.com:

Why did I pick 2009-2010? So you can compare it to the 2008 rate quoted in the graphic. Note how Puerto Rico was paying 18.26¢ while Hawaii was paying...24.13¢.

Oops. We weren't even the most expensive electricity in the U.S. of part of A., so forget "in the world."

What about 2012? From the U.S. Energy Information Administration, click and scroll down to "Pacific NonContiguous," which means Alaska and Hawaii and you'll see that in January 2012, Hawaiians were paying...gasp!...33.10¢ per kilowatt-hour.

And folks, 33.10¢ is more than 28.58¢, isn't it? (Let Me anticipate the commonwealthers' puke: oil went up in price between January and February 2012 so it's very doubtful that the Hawaiian rate went down in February, okay? Okay.)

So, two claims down the toilet for being ridiculous falsifications. The third states that the average electric bill rose from $156.00 in 2008 to $215.00 in 2012. Now first of all, round numbers in this context are suspicious. Second, the graphic claims that the average family uses 800 kWh in both years. But given the increased rate, wouldn't the average family use less electricity? Maybe not, but the graphic doesn't give a damn about that, obviously.

Third, the average electric bill can be easily calculated, using the data the graphic itself provides:

2008:  800 kWh X 18.26¢ per kWh = $146.08
2012:   800 kWh X 28.58¢ per kWh = $228.64

Uh, watt? I mean, what? Yes, I'm aware that there are other fees and charges in My electric, but so are the people who put this crappy graphic together. If they aren't, then what the hell are they doing putting it together in the first place?

Well obviously, they are trying to unleash a political hatchet job against The Larva. And given that the average voter has the IQ of a washing machine, they might succeed. Stupid is as stupid does.

But here's what pisses Me off: This offensively-stupid OfensivaPopular asswipe sheet takes a potentially-legitimate attack against the ineffectiveness and outright corruption of Our (non)governor's crappy term and dulls it to the point of abject uselessness...for anyone who thinks.

This is what the retarded hacks at (In)OfensivaPopular threw away:

1) The outright manipulation of the electric rate by this (non)administration, desperately trying to cover debts, theft and incompetence.
2) The serial thievery by high-ranking Cabinet members and statehood party officials, with one of the thieves being a high-ranking Electric Power Authority executive director.
3) The outright lies by The Larva in "doing something about the cost of electricity," the very fucking point of this stupid graphic.

You got it: what I'm saying is that I want My campaign ads and diatribes to be fact-based, reasoned and at the very least, goddammit, internally consistent. Is that too much to ask? Powerful discussions rather than power lies?

Of course it is. Stupidity rules when it comes to politics and political campaigns, as exhibited above.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

Cheating Votes, Now And In November

This won't take long...

Both major parties are contesting the State Electoral Commission's (SEC) results of the two recent primaries. Despite the fact that all registered parties have members on the SEC Boards, that at least one member of each party must be present at all voting centers, as well as at all tabulation sessions, and that each party has additional members in the SEC to assist/review recounts, the statehood party ("Idiots in Denial") and the commonwealth party ("Morons of Conformity") are saying that many of the primaries' results are wrong.

Now economist Leo Gómez--of local Twitter fame as @leojacket--showed that over 80% of the voting station results he checked (about 90-95% of them all) were "off", in some cases, registering hundreds of votes more than possible. The bigger "offs" were largely in the statehood party ("Republican" in name only), but given their track record and need to stay in power, that is not surprising. That the commonwealth party also got in on the cheating is just politics as usual in this Island of Enchantment.

What does this mean?

Simple: like some Jenius said a while back, major voter fraud in November is a-comin'. Like a runaway freight train loaded with 50 tons of lead down a ski-jump ramp angle with a tailwind in the 70s.

In other words: bet on it.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

Whitewashing Racism, Sexism, Ugliness...And Incompetence

The Mayoress of Cabo Rojo is a black woman. Her name is Perza Rodríguez. Formerly the Vice-Mayor, she "ascended" to the Mayor's seat after the death of Santos Padilla.

Perza, as I said, is a black woman. She mentions that fact often, in her husky-hollow voice that makes her sound like she's talking through an empty Clorox jug. She's black. And a woman. And in her words--oft-repeated--those two facts are used to attack her.

Perza claims her critics "accuse" her of being black. She has a radio show and TV show and a local """newspaper""" (El Faro) that might as well be hers for the prostrated-at-her-feet coverage it provides. Funny, but despite a weeks-long search, I found no comment anywhere that ever referred to her race...that wasn't her own.  From what I can see, it is those sources that mention her race, when she plays that card to attack "her critics."

In these pseudo-modern times, to attack a person for the color of their skin is idiotic or Republican, which are synonyms at heart. The fact is, We are sensitive to racism, and though many utter racist comments in private, in public, We are pseudo-colorblind.

Now maybe Perza is referring to attacks she receives in person, with folks coming up to her and saying racist things to her. Or maybe trying to put her down because she's not a man. If that's the case--and I doubt it from here to Uranus--then shouldn't she be turning that crass negativity into a positive, standing up for her race and gender, rather than essentially whining about how she's being attacked? Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said "I have a dream," not "Stop it, you meanies." And I'm sure he faced more racism that Perza.

But I don't think that's it, either. Maybe I'm judging y'all by My standards (S.O.P., really), but I'd be very surprised if people frequently said anything racist to Perza or any other black person in elected office, because (a) We tend to avoid seeming racist and (b) My Brethren tend to be fearful of those in power. Now that doesn't mean that they won't say hideously racist things behind Perza's back, but if she isn't really hearing the remarks, why is she making such a fuss about it? Why give any sort of credence to voices you haven't heard, unless you're nuts?

As for sexism, she might be on the receiving end of the typical male condescension Our machista society has, but Let's be real here: Perza isn't the only woman going through that. Claiming it repeatedly is a bad strategy for it appeals to "pity" rather than ability. True, elections are decided by emotions, not intellect, but does it really help a candidate's image to be seen as pitiful rather than capable? If that were the case, The Larva would be governor-for-life.

No, I don't think Perza harps on race and gender for any good reason...except that it takes away some of the attention from the fact that she is fat and unattractive. And unhealthy.

Some of you are tut-tutting Me now. Indulge. Google pics of Perza (or click the link above) and you will see she is fat, to the point of morbid obesity. And yes, you will note she is unattractive. To describe her and leave out these two facts is to engage in "false" honesty, to not mention the--pun intended--elephant in the room.

Is Perza the only fat public official? Heavens no; check out Jenniffer "Gluttonny" González, pseudo-president of the (out)house of representatives. Is Perza the only ugly public official? Again, hell no. But without a doubt, the standards are different for mena and women, with women being gauged more strictly.

One theory, dumb as shit but that's why it might be right, claims that Pedro Stupid Rosselló was voted into the governor's mansion because women found him attractive, especially his legs. In what passes for Our media, which compares to true journalism the way pus compares to custard, a candidate's "physical appeal," if s/he has it, is relevant. How many times has pseudo-senator Evelyn Acevedo, a woman so stupid and slippery she makes dead monkish weep with shame, been described as "a former beauty queen," though rumor has it she won the title by spreading her legs? (Go ahead: tut-tut again. That is the rumor. And I'd hate to see the losers in that contest, if you know what I mean...and I think you don't.)

Good-looking candidates have an advantage; studies by the dozens have shown that to be a fact. Perza might be the victim of a double standard, holding women to some "higher level of physical beauty" than men are, but aside from feminist growlings that are often nothing more than veiled threats, "Gluttonny" doesn't "hide" behind her gender. Then again, she's white...

...As Perza is trying to be. For you see, in billboards now mucking up the scenery in Cabo Rojo, Perza appears...whitewashed. Her skin tone, a rich mahogany, has changed to some yellowish-ivory cast that resembles no race on Earth. The change is so startling that people are commenting on how much the picture doesn't look like her.

Now maybe the problem is with the printing company. They may have screwed up and processed the picture file badly, changing a black woman to a shiny-cheeked yellow-tinted paler cartoon. Even if important items such as party colors and tones are accurate--and they are--I would expect Perza to notice the marked difference in her appearance and have the billboards reprinted.

But no, that hasn't happened and it won't happen. Not because of cost, or timing or some other valid reason: it won't happen because Perza likes the look. Her frequent rants about racism are not about "them," but about herself and her own self-image. She might be happier with the billboard's look, and some proof about that will emerge as We'll see how her rants change in the coming weeks. (My guess: she tones them down...a lot.)

And there's another advantage: while the dumb masses discuss her skin tone, they'll have little time to discuss and dissect her public record, from extensive fiscal malfeasance to rampant cronyism to undermining local businesses. Or her obviously-failing health, as she waddles (don't tut: she waddles) slowly, pausing for breath after several steps or sentences. Or her family's "public" profile, suspiciously close to being related to drugs and theft.


There is racism and sexism in Puerto Rico. Perza is not being victimized all that much by either idiocy. She's whitewashing her fat mug and using racism/sexism to keep Us from uncovering truths she can't properly deal with. I don't reject her for being black or a woman; those aren't and never have been faults. I could, but don't reject her for being fat and ugly; she can (and should) fix "fat" and beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so My opinion on her physicality is either moot or worthless.

To Me it's much simpler than that, for I reject her for being the lowest life form around: a politician.

And NO amount of whitewashing will fix that.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

Too Stupid for Democracy

"...(A) growing body of research has revealed... that democratic elections produce mediocre leadership and policies."

Okay, first of all, the snip is accurate in meaning; you can verify that for yourself in paragraph one.

To save you time, here are the highlights that lay out the argument and conclusion:

"...(Researchers) have demonstrated again and again that people are self-delusional when it comes to their own intellectual skills..."

Corollary: Incompetent people can't see or grasp that they are incompetent, or in the researchers' words: "...(I)ncompetent people are inherently unable to judge the competence of other people, or the quality of those people's ideas."

By extension, unfortunately: "...We're just as undiscerning about the skills of others as about ourselves."

Why?: "'If you have gaps in your knowledge in a given area, then you’re not in a position to assess your own gaps or the gaps of others...'"


"...(T)ruly ignorant people may be the worst judges of candidates and ideas... but we all suffer from a degree of blindness stemming from our own personal lack of expertise..."

"'...(V)ery smart ideas are going to be hard for people to adopt, because most people don't have the sophistication to recognize how good an idea is...'"

"As a result, no amount of information or facts about political candidates can override the inherent inability of many voters to accurately evaluate them."


Fraud, as in stealing an election, helps, too. (Glance left.)



A computer simulation assuming "leadership skills" are plotted on a bell curve was run, meaning that "...(E)ach voter was incapable of recognizing the leadership skills of a political candidate as being better than his or her own." The result?:  "When such an election was simulated, candidates whose leadership skills were only slightly better than average always won." (Emphasis Mine.)

Now here's the thing: leadership skills and thus the ability to evaluate them are not--not--distributed in a neat bell curve. They are obviously skewed strongly towards the majority of people being closer to "follower" (bad leaders) than to "good or great leader". (Don't bother arguing against this: you know it's right.)

Therefore, Our democratic election process that "always" produces a winner who is "slightly better than average" actually means that We are really electing people more skewed towards bad leader than to good.


And you know that's spot-on right. Too stupid for democracy, indeed.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

[Update: 12 March 2012: Ah, Mississippi. The brain-dead canary in the insufferable coal mine We call "democracy." According to Public Policy Polling, 52% of voters in The Magnolia State believe Obama is a Muslim and 66% don't believe in evolution. Dixie has riz!]