Puerto Rico 2016

Four years from now, We'll be four years deeper into Our interminable political-campaign-from-Hell, this misbegotten Patán Death March of Our collective soul or whatever We have floating inside Our bellies. Since this year's edition of the election-from-Hell features The Larva, current (non)governor Luis "Can't Find My Ass With A Map" Fortuño and The Slug, Alejandro "I Can't Get My Ass In Gear" García, I say We write the damn thing off as the largest example of human waste since New Math and try to figure out what might be coming at Us down the pike.

--Will We still be paying an abusive "fuel surcharge" in order to pay off enormously useless political debts that basically lined thieves' pockets?


--Will We still have a crumbling leaky morass of a water and sewer system virtually incapable of either collecting water, storing it, distributing it or charging rationally for it?


--Will Our tourism standing keep slipping by continuing to allow American Airlines ("Screw Puerto Rico: We're American") to throttle competition and serve as the strong-arm element of the major hotel cartel that blocks true innovation in Our services and marketing?


--Will We still have daily newspapers more akin to pure propaganda hogwash than information gazettes, radio "news" shows more akin to the campaign-from-Hell than discussion forums and TV news more akin to skanky gossip than actual information?


--Will We still have a crime rate eating at Our entrails like cancer eats colons?


--Will We still be years behind in developing Our educational system, or will We have made the plunge to being decades behind?


--Will We reorient Our economy to the quick-acting, quick-thinking realities of the early 21st century or will We still be party(politick)ing like it's 1959?


--Will We have an even more bloated government wasteland pushing 30% total Island employment or will We have the bloated 26% beached whale We have now?


--Will We slow down or stop the brain drain that enriches "them" rather than Us?


--Will We stop or reverse the welfare sump pump that sucks the life out of Our society?


--Will We come even a millimeter closer to actually giving a damn about these things?

Puerto Rico 2016: It's closer than you think.



The Jenius Has Spoken.