01 May 2009

Larva-Tantrum (Un)Civil War

The gloves are off and the Ultra-Lightweight Championship of Idiocy is ready to rumble!

In one thumb-sucking corner is Luis "The Larva" Fortuño, (non)governor of Puerto Rico, (non)president of the statehood party (long may it waive...smarts) and (non)fighter in the political arena. In the other eye-thumbing corner is senate (pseudo)president Thomas "Tantrum" Rivera, (pseudo)civilized (pseudo)defender of (pseudo)party rhetoric and Stupid ideals. (Stupid is a person, somewhat, former (con)governor Pedro Stupid Rosselló. This ring is crowded.)

Wednesday, The Larva delivered a mealy-mouthed State of the Colony address (that's the closest to a "state" We are ever going to get, unless you count the state of chaos) that took a sideswipe at the legislature. Thursday, Tantrum bitch-slapped down The Larva's nominee for the Office of Women's Affairs and The Larva cried...foul.

Today some 12,000 government workers marched in protest of the idea of slashing 30,000 government jobs. I know some estimates place the marching crowd at 20,000, but that's just wishful exaggeration. I'm willing to go as high as 14,000, but that's it. Anyway, that crowd was the perfect starting point for cutting government jobs, by dint of a face-to-face speech, but rather than face it in a purely political move to blunt the protest's public relations spin, The Larva let it slide.

What he did--or tried to do--was call a party meeting...that Tantrum then matched with a party meeting of his own--the same day, at the same time.


Of course, the speculation is that one meeting is going to be suddenly canceled or shifted to another date and time, but I'll bet you gold bullion to snail spit that The Larva's meeting gets changed, and if not, that it will be less attended than the Tantrum's tantrum.

Oh, yes, the gloves are off, but one opponent has glass tentacles and the other brass testicles. Unless The Larva morphs into a poisonous beetle, Tantrum will have de facto veto power over the (non)governor in a situation very reminiscent of The Jellyfish and his legislative opponents. 

Only that time, they were in opposing parties as well. Nothing like a(n) (un)civil war to bring out the bitterness...in all of Us.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

1 comment:

Prometeo said...

Those two are playing a game of "political chicken" for Monday's meeting. The first one to "reschedule" will loose power inside the party.