Statehood For Puerto Rico? Nuh-uh

I'll give you a hint about where this post is going: the first title for it was "Statehood For Puerto Rico? Fuck Off."

Based on the overhyped, overwrought and oversold November 6th referendum, the White House hand an online petition going asking if statehood for Puerto Rico should be considered. I would have added the words "seriously" and "by Congress," but that's just Me: I'm a stickler for actually saying what I mean and doing what I say. I'm funny that way.

In all, the petition had a target number of signatures it needed to make it "official," as in "We'll write up something and give it to someone who will forward it to some person," but--and you know where I'm headed with this--the petition failed to reach its goal and the White House shut the "offer" down. Closed. Cerrado. Fuck off.

Now it's true that a ton of people, a majority I would say, don't believe that online petitions, even from the White House, are truly tools of democracy. On the other hand (a phrase replaced nowadays by "Having said that," which is moronic use of English along the lines of "At this point in time" for "Now." which would make "nowadays" be "atthispointintimedays"...) online petitions have forced policy changes, the reversing of corporate decisions and--yes--swayed referenda. So even if most online petitions are useless, there is plenty of evidence that if you care enough, they can be useful.

Obviously, statehooders don't care enough. And neither do the potential statehood approvers at the government and citizen levels. And this second group, the most important one? They've never cared. Never will, either.

The problem with statehooders--aside from their obvious lack of self-respect, national pride and ignorance about the country they slobber to join--is that they truly, deep down, want the U.S. of part of A. to impose statehood, to simply say "You are mine, now" in the way a stupid addle-headed useless gash of a girl moons over a glittery pasty-faced gutless douchebag vampire. Statehooders don't want to make statehood happen, they want it to happen in the pseudo-magical way that boons are dispensed in fairy tales.

Now here's the thing: that paragraph above, with minor changes, applies to another of Our groups on "political activism":

The problem with independentistas--aside from their obvious lack of self-discipline, cowardice of convictions and total ignorance about the country We could create--is that they truly, deep down, want the U.S. of part of A. to impose independence, to simply say "You are not mine, now" in the way a stupid addle-headed useless gash of a girl moons over a glittery pasty-faced gutless douchebag vampire. Independentistas don't want to make independence happen, they want it to happen in the pseudo-magical way that boons are dispensed in fairy tales.

And yes, some independentistas will say "We have heroes who fought for independence!", but I'll retort that "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent" and point out that if criminals--people who preyed upon their own brethren--are your heroes, you need new heroes. Or decapitation.

So.

What are the odds now that statehood will be seriously placed before Congress, what with the """61%""" support in the November 6 referendum, which melts to 45% in the light of objective reality? 10-to-1? 25-to-1?

Allow Me to toss this out: how about 50-t0-1?

HAHAHahahahahahahanochanceinhell



The Jenius Has Spoken.