16 June 2008

Eggplants and "Education"

Ever so often I'll retry or rethink something I've made up My mind on. Not many things, mind you, for I am a Jenius and there's nothing wishy-washy about that. It's simply a good exercise in rational analysis.

For example: Eggplants. Don't like 'em. They look like a bruise and taste like one. However, about every two years, I'll try some eggplant. I did so recently and My verdict is: Don't like 'em. Taste like a bruise.

So imagine My reaction when I woke up one recent morning with the idea of going back to college. Going back? To Me that's like having your nuts kicked by a donkey, every day, for four years. (Substitute an appropriate genital part if you lack nuts...) But in the spirit of "Give it the ol' college try" (hahaha), I mulled it over, pondered it, pored over the idea from a variety of angles and nine seconds later arrived at My verdict: Donkey kicking nuts, every day, four years, no way.

In less-descriptive terms, college is a game of half-and-half with no strong upside: Fifty percent "Learn what I tell you to" and fifty percent "Shut up." For Me, that adds up to 100% of "Why the hell should I care?"

Now I know there are exceptions to My formula, but even the die-hardest, tweed-jacketed, pseudo-intellectual will admit that they are exceptions. The norm is the "50/50 Formula" under the guise of "classical,"  "modern" or "career-enhancing education." In My view, listening to claptrap from a dimwad who can't abide by exploration is like...donkey, nuts, daily, years... You get the picture.

Why should I play the narrow-slanted guessing game of test-taking (one at which I was phenomenally successful, so there's no sour grapes here) when I can freely absorb the larger picture to My satisfaction? Why should I accept less--less knowledge, less exploration, less commitment to learning--while investing more time and more energy? Does this make sense to anyone? It didn't to Me back then, and as soon as I could, I closed that door and had only cracked it open a few times (usually because I was offered a scholarship.) I have closed that door firmly and without further thought.

I know in a year or two, maybe three, I'll try eggplant again. But now I know that I will never consider sitting in a college classroom ever again. Unless I actually want to become an eggplant.

The Jenius Has Spoken.


Gabriel said...

Break Your Schoolhouse Habits!

Gil C. Schmidt said...

I read that and forgot to post about it! Good catch!