03 September 2008

Jellyfish for Veep!

Newt "A Nickname Would Be Redundant" Gingrich listed Governor Sarah Palin's, um...er...ah...qualifichahaha...sorry, qualifications for being the Vice-Presidential candidate paired with old, old what's-his-name. 

They were: She's the governor of a state with a budget of $11.4 billion, 660,000 residents and over 15,000 government employees.

Good Lord.

Allow Me to present to you Aníbal "Jellyfish" Acevedo, non-governor of Puerto Rico. In direct comparison to Palin, I submit to you that Jellyfish is the chief executive of an Island with a budget of $9.8 billion... 3.97 million residents and 234,000 government employees.

Yes, Palin mismanages $1.6 billion more, but in the other two Newt-Note Categories, Jellyfish smokes the NRA Pin-Head of the Month all hollow. AND: Jellyfish has served 4 years--longer than Palin has had a political career of any note--as Head Beggar (okay, Resident Commissioner) in Congress.

When the third-rate non-governor of a colonial territory in the U.S. of part of A. is hands-down more qualified for Vice-President than the party leader's nominee, you have a screw-up of historically colossal proportions.

So.

I suggest We kill two birds with one stone and NOMINATE JELLYFISH FOR VEEP. You got it: When Palin drops out of the race, slot Jellyfish in.

Think about it, people. The Republicans would benefit by having a guy with a much better track record than Pistol-Packin' Palin. They'd draw a greater share of the Hispanic vote aside from the Cuban contingent they always attract. With Jellyfish a presumptive Democract (like that means anything in Puerto Rico). they could appeal to crossover voters and independents with their heads in their asses, i.e., "the center." And Jellyfish could educate his new boss on where Puerto Rico is and what a naval base actually does.

Jellyfish would benefit by joining the hyena cabal knowing full well that his 24 pending fraud charges would vanish like soap bubbles in a volcano. And We'd benefit by getting rid of him sooner rather than later.

You like the idea. I can tell. Somebody wake up old, old what's-his-name and get him to drop the blonde. Make sure to tell him which blonde.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

P.S.  And for you "girl-power" protesters out there, this is NOT about Palin's gender. There are men who are less qualified than her to be V.P., but most of them are working in 7-11s, shoe stores and as interns in Congress. Palin is not qualified to run the nation. Period. Doesn't matter even in the unlikely and needless event that she turns out to be a man, a polar bear or an alien construct: Her experience in government, economics and world affairs is virtually nil. What is sexist is to ignore her obvious lack of qualifications by crying "Sexist!" every time a salient point about her non-competence for the job comes up.

2 comments:

ramonathebrave said...

Ud realmente cree que Sarah "Caribou Barbie" Palin va a abandonar la carrera presidencial?

Yo no creo que eso suceda. Con todo el escándalo, ella va a aprovechar. Lo va a usar para promocionar su "platform". Ya me lo puedo imaginar. "Mi hija embarazada se va a casar con el padre. Mi familia tiene principios... bla bla bla". Y los idiotas de este país? Ud ya sabe que van a votar por ella y Bisabuelo McCain.

Ya me tienen harta.

Gil C. Schmidt said...

Ramona, tengo la corazonada que Palin no va a llegar a noviembre. También tengo el presentimiento de que su hijo (destacado en Iraq) tampoco va a ver noviembre. Por eso de especular: Matan el hijo de Palin, ella renuncia de la campaña en favor de... Dick Cheney. Los votos de simpatía y de "apoyo a la guerra" le dan una cerrada (2-4%) victoria a McCain ("Bisabuelo" me encanta) y podremos imaginar que el Bisabuelo seguirá siendo una marioneta de las políticas fascistas de los neo-conservadores.

O Palin sigue demostrando lo inepta que es y Obama gana por 5-8% de ventaja. No sé.