Here are some phone calls I'd like to make and how they might turn out:
To Our (non)governor, Luis "The Larva" Fortuño: "Hello? Can you describe your current administration in terms of measurable positive results in terms of leadership?... Hello? Hello?"
To the local sheep We call media: "Hello. When was the last time you asked any significant local leader a probing, well-researched question challenged their expressed views?... What do you mean that's a trick question?"
To nominated Education Secretary Carlos "Limbaugh's a Liberal" Chardón: "Hello, Carlos. How many days left before you split that wreck of a department and go back to slinging hash with the national Republican Party?... Less than 51, but more than 1?... Can you be more precise or are you talking about statehood?"
To Head Beggar Pedro "Justice is (Conveniently) Blind" Pierluisi: "Hello. What's on your agenda for today?... Okay, how about tomorrow?... Next week?... I see.... When will you have something useful to do?... Good. What will you be doing then?... That's all? You're not getting paid for this vacation, are you?"
To the main offices of the Puerto Ricans for Puerto Rico party: "You have reached a number that has been disconnected and was never really in service. Don't bother looking for another number: there won't be one."
To former (un)governor Aníbal "The Jellyfish" Acevedo: "Hello. You've spent 16 years in public life spinning everything related to you into your own angle. Why have you been so quiet after your "not guilty" result? Is it because you are very very aware that it was dismissed on technicalities and you want to make sure nothing else is coming back at you? Or have you been warned the other shoe is about to drop?"
To government employees: "Hell, you guys aren't going to allow 30,000 of your fellow parasites to get lopped, will you? You want this bloated gravy train to keep lurching along, don't you? So let Me guess: your plan is to slow everything down so that even less gets done, right? Nobody told Me...but you just confirmed it."
To those of Us who get it: "Hi. What are We to do now? Short of a coup, what options do We have? And why are there so few of Us left?... True, but if We don't make an honest effort, are We really the kind of person We think We are?... Hey, tough times require tough questions. Now ask yours."
The Jenius Has Spoken.