03 April 2009

Crouching Larva, Hidden Vermin

[My Thanks again to Janine Mendes-Franco for picking up two more of My posts for Global Voices Online. I'm beginning to feel like saying "You read Me! You really read Me!"]

Our (non)governor, Luis "The Larva" Fortuño, a man I'd describe as "overmatched" if he actually had any chance of ever being "matched" in his job, is facing increasingly open challenges to his (non)leadership by irascible senate president (I don't capitalize a word I have no respect for) Thomas "Tantrum" Rivera and by greedy house (ditt0) president Jenniffer "Gluttonny" González.

What. A. (Non)surprise.

Stick a feeble excuse for a leader in a highly precarious position that has long been utterly bereft of effective resources amidst a ravenous horde of carrion-feeding vermin who can't wait to rip the feeb a new one so they can become the next feeble excuse and you have Our progress-paralyzing media-based melodrama in an adjective-laden nutshell.

Here We are, entering April, with a (non)governor who flopped into La Fortaleza on January 2nd, and how many of his "Key 3 Nominees" (Treasury, Health and Education) have been confirmed in Tantrum's Toilet?

One. Treasury. And that because without a Treasury Secretary, the Fools don't get paid.

So far, the noise is that the Health Secretary nominee is going to be rejected because he has too many ties to the leading opposition party. Maybe so, but his real mistake is that of getting caught between (wait for it...wait for it...) a crouching larva and heretofore hidden vermin.

The signals are now becoming evident to the less-perceptive amongst Us: the (non)governor says one thing, Tantrum says another and Gluttonny speaks for a while and ends up saying nothing. The Tantrum says something, Gluttonny says another and The Larva still another. The latest outbreak comes as The Larva tries to push the idea of Public-Private Alliances (privatization with Downs Syndrome) to revamp government and Tantrum plays the "We'll hang your Health nominee and maybe Education, too" card. 

And suddenly, it's 2005 all over again, only then it was Aníbal "The Jellyfish" Acevedo butting (soft) heads with opposing party legislative Fools. This time, it's the same thing.

Why opposing? Because Tantrum represents the party-controlling hyena herd of Pedro Stupid Rosselló supporters who see The Larva as worse than opposition: they see him as a traitor. Tantrum is even pushing the idea of naming the Puerto Rico Convention Center after Stupid, making it the Stupid Convention Center, which is perfectly apt as the damn thng is too small to attract mega-conventions, too big to adequately serve a majority of local expos, has lousy architecture that makes it non-modular and is saddled with too many parasitic employees to make it cost-effective.

So, yes, it makes perfect sense to name it the Pedro Stupid Rosselló Convention Center, but by ramming that down The Larva's throat and by making the naming of the white elephant an equal-par issue with The Larva's cabinet--key players in any chance We have of making progress in the here and now--Tantrum is flexing political muscle in brainless fashion. Nothing new there. And The Larva is waffling and sidestepping. Nothing new there, either.

And yes, all this was predicted by Yours Truly. Except for the part about The Jellyfish getting away, but that only adds problems to The Larva and makes the Tantrum and Gluttonny even more aggressive in their efforts to stomp him. It. Whatever.

How will this play out? Health nominee hung, Public-Private Alliances tabled, Convention Center named Stupid, Education nominee confirmed and the sequel "Cringing Larva, Horrid Vermin" playing out before Our bloodshot eyes...

The Jenius Has Spoken. 

1 comment:

The Insider said...

Let's keep vanity out of the naming. I think the generic "Puerto Rico Convention Center" is the best name. Add a Spanish name to it, and you can be sure the Gringos who are supposed to flock to it bringing their money with them, will be a little bit less likely to quickly Google it without any opportunity for confusion. ;)