Crystal Ball Time

Here are some predictions for the incoming administration led by Luis "Larva" Fortuño:

--A power struggle with Thomas "Tantrum" Rivera, future senate president. Larva will get run over by the Tantrum, but will make it seem as if the hit-and-run was really a "working agreement for the good of the people and to ensure progress."

--Jenniffer "Gluttony" González will crash into her role as the new president of the house of representatives and raise being loud to overcome deficiencies to the level of art.

--New commonwealth party president Hector "What Am I Doing Here?!" Ferrer will pick and choose his moments so as to place others--such as Willie "Musical Chairs" Miranda--at the forefront of the several iffy propositions this struggling party has. One of the stickiest points: Aníbal "Jellyfish" Acevedo, exiting governor, will be nailed on some of his charges.

--The Larva will get entangled in social issues rather than devoting himself to economic ones. Why? He thinks he needs to establish a social platform in order to become an effective leader. He is wrong.

--As the economic situation gets worse around the world and the local prospects dim, Larva and minions will develop a "mountain out of molehill" approach to Our issues, in essence exaggerating the impritance and value of peripheral matters in order to distract and obfuscate. (The media will play along like starving retarded sheep.)

--No vital project in education, health or energy will emerge during 2009. The hemorrhage of educational funds will be masked by "new" funds, the near-bankrupt health system will be propped by fiscal shenanigans and the desperate need to enhance Our energy infrastructure will play second fiddle to bombast, hot air and pie-in-the-sky theorizing.

--Before the year is out, a major coalition from within the party will be directly undermining the Larva at the legislative and municipal levels. Why? To force his resignation as potential gubernatorial candidate in 2012. The party bigwigs don't want him, the party power-brokers don't need him and the party base will see his Larva-ness as "Jellyfish Part Two," and will want to hold onto their 2008 gains with a new candidate.

Conclusion: Another slow-motion roller coaster ride through the dregs of inertia and political filth. Woo. And hoo.

The Jenius Has Spoken.