Election Recap(sizing)

Turning My attention to the local scumfest known as general elections, the statehood party bounced into power at the executive, legislative and municipal levels, handing the commonwealth party its largest setback since 1968, the first time the statehooders won.

Now all they had to do was beat a non-governor with 24 Federal charges hanging over his head, who followed his own party's female quitter, amidst the worst recession since the Great Depression. 

Wow. That's like beating up a mummy. 

More on those two parties in a moment. Let's turn Our attention to the lesser lights, the smaller dim-bulbs of Our political system, the independence party (PIP, as abbreviated in Spanish) and the PPR, Rogelio "Flaming Kamikaze" Figueroa's crashed party.

Neither party achieved the minimum 3% of the total vote (down this year to 79% of the total registered voters, a minor scandal in and of itself that can be explained by increasing voter indifference and the exodus of the middle class). As such, both parties must collect signatures and get reinstated.

Bluntly, neither should. The PIP has taken a lofty ideal and turned it into a boring social club whose budget comes directly from the government. The independentista movement is not dead, it's simply caught in the clutches of dessicated goons. To reinstate the party at this point is to openly admit that its sole purpose is to suck greenbacks into private pockets. If you look at the PIP "campaign," you'll see lousy party offices, few ads (and they get most of those costs reduced to peanuts or nothing by true believers) and fat cats. Major party funding for a small social club. You can draw the picture.

As for the PPR, despite the warnings and advice, they fell far short of any solid showing...and yet the outnumbered the PIP by almost 1%. That a fourth party, a lamebrained newcomer led by a delusional neophyte with no solid agenda could get more votes than a historical party based on the purest patriotic ideal is the clearest sign that the PIP should just go away. For the PPR, however, the victory is hollow, for not one of their candidates earned anywhere near enough votes to earn a seat anywhere.

Of course, both parties recite the tired mantra of "We will continue the battle," but they are lying to themselves. The PIP is a money-grubbing ghost whose remaining ideal is freeloading. The PPR, a party launched by environmental enthusiasts, stands for nothing except the clearest example of how not to actually become a party.

The "clever" solution is to have both parties merge and by combining the accumulated political savvy of the PIP (especially where filching from Us and Uncle Sam is concerned) with the energetic cluelessness of the PPR, you could create a viable (4-6% of the vote) party for 2012. 

That's the best-case scenario. The worst-case scenario is merging the two and having the PIP weaseling out the PPR, thus destroying the only viable pro-political process movement this Island has.

That Luis "Larva" Fortuño beat Aníbal "Jellyfish" Acevedo was a given; that the Larva doesn't have control of his own party was My given, and so it has become apparent. On the very victory platform, two elected candidates started openly jostling for senate and house presidencies, and despite the Larva's mealy-mouthed order to cease and desist, the jostling continued and bore fruit.

More on those two some other day. For now, it merits notice that the Larva is seeing the openexpression of what party elite and close observers have been feeling but not saying for a long time: Fortuño is a pendejo, deemed gutless and bereft of the brass balls the statehood party equates with true political smarts. That balls are not where thinking occurs is exactly the problem with the statehood party.

Add to this that the Larva makes McCain seem like a liberal and you have an amorphous governor-elect, incapable of controlling his own party and out of touch with the current White House. 

This bodes well for Us, huh?

And what about the Jellyfish? Well, he resigned as president of his party, about 6 months too late. The scramble to not fill the vacant post is akin to a group playing musical chairs that keep humming loudly when the music stops. The front runner to become the president of theLusitiania party is Willie "Dark Horse No More?" Miranda, the oft-elected Mayor of Caguas. But, the party and Our society don't go well with dark horses (emphasis on "dark") and there's also the matter of age: Willie has lots of it. Based on that, they'll most likely ask him to become the new Executive Director of the party and eventually pick one of the young guns in the Senate as party president to vie for La(rva) Fortaleza in 2012.

Two more things: I maintain that the U.S. of part of A. will never grant Us statehood. But the election of Barack Obama as President does give statehooders a new ray of hope. For whatever that's worth.

And the huge electoral sweep, with the statehood cabal winning the vast majority of Senate and House seats triggers Our constitutional "minorities" adjustment, where 5 more senators and 6 more representatives are added to keep the majority party from having a constant decisive (2/3 of membership) control. So not only did most of the damned parasites get re-elected, We now have more of them to suck Our life and future away.

Woo-hoo! We showed them, didn't We?

The Jenius Has Spoken.