06 November 2006

Stupid Roselló

Former governor, current senator-in-absentia, monkey-wrench of progress Pedro "I Be Stupid" Rosselló claims that during his 8 years in the governor's mansion, the events and people involved in more than 60 Federal and State investigations, with more than 35 convictions, were things and happenstances he wasn't aware of, had no knowledge of, just didn't know were going on.

Because he's stupid.

The latest two examples are the former secretary-general of the party Stupid Pedro was the president of AND Stupid Pedro's own campaign manager. Both were found guilty of multiple charges of fraud and bribery concerning the vaunted "Super Tube" project Super Stupid Pedro used as one of his many boondoggles. Some of the monies even found their way into the statehood party's coffers, a routine donation along the lines of "Businessmen for Stupid Pedro."

Now let's get this straight: When you are the president of the party, the secretary-general is your real #2, the guy or gal who does the daily work that lets the party prez act all visionary or psycho or whatever. As party prez, you deal directly and constantly with the secretary-general and his or her actions are a direct reflection of party stances and politics, for which the prez is ultimately responsible. Can anyone honestly claim that what this person was doing was "unknown to me"?

A campaign manager is closer to his or her candidate than their spouse. If not, then you need a new campaign manager, because the campaign manager literally holds the candidate's entire political career in his or her hands. When you have the same campaign manager for four campaigns you are indicating, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this person works very closely with you, sharing time and space in large quantities. Can anyone honestly claim that what this person was doing was "unknown to me"?

Stupid Pedro adamantly refuses to acknowledge that he is lying about what he knew or didn't know. So let's say he isn't lying. (Pardon Me while I note the passing of a flock of pigs overhead...) Then there's no other choice--no other option--than to declare Stupid Pedro stupid to the nth degree. Stupid to the max. Stupid and a day. Stupid beyond stupid. Because as the convictions mount up, as the sentences pile on years and years of penal servitude on the now dozens of associates Stupid Pedro was too stupid to acknowledge and too stupid to lead, there will come a day when Stupid Pedro will sit in a stupid courtroom and claim he was too stupid to know the deal and some unstupid judge is going to say: That's stupid, Pedro.

And Stupid Pedro will spend some stupid years wondering just how really, really stupid he is.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

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