21 July 2008

Hey, Jellyfish!

An open letter to governor Aníbal "Jellyfish" Acevedo:

July 21, 2008

Hey, you,

You're an idiot.

Hydrocephalic invertebrate that you are, you exceed yourself in idiocy by choosing to close 52 government agencies from today until they "reopen" on the 29th, giving an extra three days off to the bureaucratic masses. 

You have no fiscal reason to do this. There's plenty of money in the budget, seeing as how it's only 3 weeks into the fiscal year.

You have no legal reason to do this. You aren't required by any law in this land to shut down government agencies "just because."

You have no emergency-- natural or man-made--that forces you to do this.

You have only one "reason"--one inept, clumsy, i-di-o-tic motivation--for taking this step:

You are trying to buy votes.

Well, geez, 26% of Our workforce works for the government, so giving the whole herd a complete week of vacation at Our expense--at Our fucking expense you blithering idiot--seems like a worthy political strategy to the limited likes of you. So off they go!

You squishily claim it will "save money." 

Ha. With a side dish of ho.

Here's just two examples of why it simply will not--cannot--"save" Us any money:

1) The State Insurance Fund second-semester payment was due July 20th, as it is every year. That fell on a Sunday. Today--Monday, you moron--is a local holiday. So by law, employers and business owners have until the 22nd to pay for employee coverage. 

But thanks to you, Jellyfish, that office will be closed. Shut down. Dead instead of just comatose. Legally, where does that leave employers and employees who are--by law--entitled to that time for proper payment and thus proper coverage, many of them in the private sector?

2) You recently signed a bill implementing a new Economic Incentives Law, touted as the best thing since sliced Jellyfish. What impact does this new law and its offerings have on investors who see a government shutting down "just because"? You think they'll approve of such a standstill? Do you even think?

Look, water-for-brains, I once wrote a new slogan for Puerto Rico. In your fish-like attention span, you must have forgotten the last two words, so instead of "Closed for Repairs" you went with just "Closed." What a cretin.

My last post dealt with differentiating between Fools and leaders by simply noting whether they removed obstacles to widespread progress or threw obstacles in the group's way for personal gain.

You, Jellyfish, are definitely, unequivocally, indubitably and unrepentantly a Fool.

And an idiot.

Signed,

Me

The Jenius Has Spoken.

2 comments:

ram0na th3 brav3 said...

Wait a minute.... he shut down the government for a week "just because"? There's no reason why?

If ignorance is bliss, then bliss is peril. The sad thing is that you will have people who support this. The sadder thing is you will have the people who are indifferent altogether.

Gil C. Schmidt said...

Brave One, closing the government for an extra 3 days (the two Mondays and the Friday are local holidays) is peanuts for The Jellyfish. And it's not like We protested, since (a) Too many people here work for the government and (b) We have no clue on how to pressure The Fools. It's high time We learned.