The Numbers Add Up...To Disaster

Once again, from Cate Long's insightful blog MuniLand, comes this numerical picture of Our bond issues. The report, written by Alan Schenkel, ws posted on MuniLand on July 27, 2012. Bringing this up right now is just perfect for the upcoming farce of Our elections:

"About half of the ($60 billion) debt is general obligation or otherwise tax backed, while most of the remainder is secured by revenues, including electricity sales, water and sewer utility charges and highway tolls, with all bonds to varying degrees dependent on the fortunes and stability of the island’s economy." (All emphasis Mine.)

Wondering why Our "electrical savings" this month are nothing but a 20% credit, to be charged to Us after the elections? Just read that quoted paragraph again.

"Current general obligation credit spreads, with yields about 200 basis points above AAA benchmarks, do not reflect bondholder risk.

(Cate Long) Translation: An investor is not getting paid enough interest to cover the risk of owning these bonds. Prices need to come down, and yields need to go up."

See that gap, with a green arrow going up and one going down? That gap means that the risk of Our bonds is rising and the revenue backing them is dropping. Which means We'll have to offer more interest to investors = more debt = bigger disaster down the road if Our economy doesn't get stronger... a lot stronger.  Not that The Larva give's a slug's ass: he'll be long gone by 2013.

"The pace of debt growth exceeds that of economic growth, an unsustainable proposition."

You know what it's called when your debt growth exceeds your income growth? Bankruptcy. Or suicide.

Ms. Long then comments:

"I have one quibble with Schankel and the broader market in how they view Puerto Rico’s debt and pension liability load. This data is always presented as debt per capita, but I think it’s more realistic to examine debt per worker, since ultimately the debt must be repaid with revenues generated by the state. Debt/pension liability per capita is $13,449, but per worker, the debt/pension liability figure is about $90,000. This is more than triple the average 2010 wage of $26,870. How are the citizens of Puerto Rico ever going to pay back all this debt?"

If you work in Puerto Rico, think about having a $90,000 you didn't ask for slamming your future earnings. Rough, right? If you don't work because you get welfare, what the hell do you care, right? Here's the thing, worker and parasite: when the economy collapses, We all get slammed. And all of Us are to blame because the thieves We elected are escaping while We have to pay...again.

The numbers keep adding up against Us. You'd think We'd note the tally and do something about this, right?

You'd think.



The Jenius Has Spoken.


[Update: 17 Oct 2012: Huge investment brokers are dumping Puerto Rico bonds.]

Memorize This...And Act Accordingly

This definitely won't take long...

 The People should not be afraid of the Government: the Government should be afraid of the People.

El Pueblo no debe temerle al Gobierno: el Gobierno debe temerle al Pueblo.

Go ahead. Make the T-shirts. It's time We got the message out to make things right.



The Jenius Has Spoken.


[Update: 18 Oct 2012: Along the same lines, one more:]

40-Year Flying Fuck: Revisited

Sometimes these things just write themselves...

I wrote about the idiocy and open thievery of the """privatization""" of Our International Airport, calling it--accurately, of course--a 40-Year Flying Fuck.

Move forward some weeks. Over at MuniLand, Cate Long's often-incisive blog about topics financial, with occasional glimpses in Our direction, comes this analysis of the "giveaway" of the Luis Muñoz Marín Airport deal. As ever, all emphasis is Mine:


"...The lease deal lasts 40 years. However, studying the financial terms of the deal, it is not clear that Puerto Rico will really benefit much financially from privatizing the airport."

"Looking at the financial data, which is sparse and hard to find, the deal is unlikely to generate any substantial cash for Puerto Rico. From the FAA application (page 9): Aerostar will make a one-time cash payment to the PRPA of $615 million (the “Leasehold Fee”) at the time of closing the Lease.  

The deal is structured with tiny annual cash payments from ASUR to Puerto Rico for the first five years. ASUR will pay $2.5 million per year for five years, for a total of $12.5 million. In years six through 30, ASUR will pay Puerto Rico five percent of gross airport revenues. It will pay ten percent of gross airport revenues in years 31 through 40. ASUR will also reimburse Puerto Rico $2.8 million per year for the costs of police and fire services. This amount will be adjusted once actual costs have been determined.

The airport lease also calls for “General Accelerated Upgrades” to the airport, but it does not require any major capital improvements. ASUR is not obligated to offer employment to airport employees. If the conditions are worked out, then ASUR can take control of the Puerto Rico Air National Guard facilities also."

"Juan Carlos Batlle, President and CEO of the Government Development Bank for Puerto Rico (GDB), was asked at the Bloomberg State & Municipal Finance Conference about the transaction. He said that the $615 million upfront payment would go to retire airport debt, and he did not know how financially advantageous the deal was for the buyers.

But knowing the advantages of the deal seems to be a basic fiduciary responsibility for the official in charge of the government agency that did the analysis of the deal. Batlle eventually conceded that Puerto Rico essentially receives no benefit from the upfront payment other than retirement of debt. He fudged his answer on any longer term benefits."

"The key to understanding the deal is knowing how much ASUR will earn. The company will receive $62 million per year from airlines that use the airport’s gates and facilities. ASUR will also earn approximately $36 million per year from “Passenger Facility Charges...

According to the financial statements of the Puerto Rico Port Authority for 2011, LMM generated $99 million in total revenue, including $70 million of operating revenue. Earnings (EBITDA) were approximately $40 million. 2011 was also the lowest year for passenger traffic (see chart above). 2012 numbers have already rebounded and are tracking to reach nine million passengers. This means that revenues and earnings will earn ASUR an even better deal." 

"It was hard for me to do any deeper analysis because the financial statements of the Port Authority combines the activities of the airport and the marine terminals that provide bulk freight and cruise ship services. But the LMM deal is being lauded in financial circles, which means that investors will likely do very well."


So Cate does her thing and reaches the conclusion that We are being ungently screwed by The Larva's verminous horde of chancre-pocked thieves. (I use more colorful language...) Of course, investors are going ga-ga over the deal because--and this is a subtle point that My Brethren tend to miss--the deal is a steal.

On her blog, Juan Carlos Batlle, ol' "Mr. Waffle (Out)House" himself, piped in with a response. Here it (largely) be, with one comment, Mine:

"I am writing to clarify certain information on Cate Long’s October 5 MuniLand blog post, “Puerto Rico’s Airport Giveaway,” regarding remarks I made at the Bloomberg State Municipal & Finance Conference. With all due respect, her reference to my comments are, in fact, highly inaccurate, misleading and defamatory.

As a transcript of my remarks at the Bloomberg State Municipal & Finance Conference on October 3, 2012 clearly reflects about the Public-Private Partnership for the Luis Munoz Marin International Airport:

- It provides important and tangible financial benefits to the government of Puerto Rico and its citizens; to the tune of $615 million upfront cash payment, annual revenue sharing of over $550 (sic; or actually, quite accurate) and investment in capital improvements of $1.4 billion over the life of the lease

- Enables Puerto Rico to retire approximately 45% of the Ports Authority’s debt;

- Sets up funds to support regional airports and other purposes; and  

- Helps reestablish the financial stability of the Puerto Rico Ports Authority.

As I said at the Conference, given Puerto Rico’s high debt load, among the main objectives of our Public-Private Partnership Program are to reduce overall debt levels and reactivate infrastructure investment.

This transaction allows us to accomplish both objectives at the Ports Authority: “tackle the issue as we have to start lowering our debt load,” and “invest $1.4 billion over the life of the lease.” (these quotes taken directly from such transcript)."

Oh, brother, can you spare a whine? Let Me fire a few verbal bullets your pin-headed way, Mr. Waffle (Out)House:

1) You were accused--rightly--of incompetence for not knowing how this deal benefits the investors. Anything to say there? My thoughts are: Ms. Long was absolutely right and you are a baboon with a calculator. In any case, your time to answer that point was at the Conference, not some time later when you've had a chance for a flunky to draft your ape-like grunted response.

2) Who--who, goddammit--created the "high debt load"? Your so-called boss has limp-wristed his way to overseeing a massive increase in Our national debt, most of which has gone who-knows-where... but We've seen how a lot of it has gone to The Larva's cronies and party parasites. So you're saying the LMM deal is to "reduce overall debt levels" that were basically created by your own hyena pack's greed, corruption level and incompetence? Well isn't that special.

3) Your transcript quotes are ridiculous, lame and pusillanimous at best. "(T)ackle the issue as we have to start lowering our debt load,” is mealy-mouthed farting in the wind when the subject matter is facts and figures, dollars and cents, Waffle (Out)House, even when--or especially when--the cash seems to be going to crooks. And “(I)nvest $1.4 billion over the life of the lease” is merely a number anyone can toss out: where are the specifics? If you knew the amount (which I doubt, I'm sure a flunky gave it to you later), then why the hell didn't you have a breakdown of how it would or could be invested? Do you have ANY freaking idea how to do your job properly? Or are you just another lower primate in the monkey (out)house We laughingly call "Economic Development"?

4) And Let's be honest, Waffle (Out)House: you're supposed to be a banker. Ha-ha. You are writing a response to what you feel is an inaccurate portrayal of your presentation, on a government matter involving millions of dollars, you are responding in a public manner to said portrayal and you don't notice you have a humongously inaccurate number in your very own response? What are We to deduce from that?

That you're an idiot. That you don't know your job. That you were placed in it to facilitate financial shenanigans beyond your woefully-limited ken. And that the airport deal is just one of the many screwings We are having inflicted upon Us by your government cronies, ignorantly blessed by the full-scale incompetence of your fellow morons in """Economic Development."""

Ms. Long says it one way; I use more colorful--and truly--more accurate language.



The Jenius Has Spoken.


[Update: 19 Nov 2012: The Mexican half of the airport takeover, Grupo Aereopuerto del Sureste (ASUR), has been linked repeatedly to drug kingpins and trafficking. Hmm, seems like Our airport is part of some other business agenda...]

Time To Topple: Banco Popular

Happy Birthday, Sis!!


Unrelated to that announcement:


"Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Richard Carrión’s sister and two of his nephews, one of whom is also a Popular director, have delinquent property loans to the San Juan-based lender, according to a regulatory filing. The bank has also restructured the loans of another director, the board’s head of corporate governance, and classifies his debts as “troubled,” the filing shows.

'The disclosures are seriously problematic,' said Orin Kramer, whose Boston Provident Partners LP hedge fund owns about 2 million Popular shares. 'The role of the board is to protect against credit losses, not create them.'”

From another source:

“'This deal does smell like rotten fish,' said (James) Post, who was co-author of “Redefining the Corporation,” a study of governance and accountability. “It immediately raises the question: Have there been other deals of this sort that have gone on, and are shareholders entitled to know about that?”  

The loan is among the latest “related-party transactions” between (the nephew of Uncle Richard, José) Vizcarrondo and Popular, which paid companies linked to him at least $33 million since 2004, regulatory filings show. The bank posted $1.87 billion of losses from 2007 through 2009 under Carrión, who has been Popular’s CEO since 1994 and a director of the Federal Reserve Board of New York since 2008."

From the same source, further down:

"Desarrollos isn’t the only company linked to Vizcarrondo to gain from Popular contracts. The bank paid $33 million from 2004 through 2006 to Metropolitan Builders SE, a firm in which Vizcarrondo is a partner, proxy filings show. This company was awarded construction contracts valued at $52 million in 2002, the filings show."

And for losing $1.87 billion, how much does Uncle Richie Wretch make? "Carrión’s overall compensation, including stock, increased 67 percent last year (2010) to $1.8 million, according to the proxy filing." Woo-hoo!  A 67% raise and rampant nepotism, too! Way to go, Richie Dead Meat! ("Carrion" as it is properly defined, in this case...)

Another little fillip of rotting meat: Banco Popular still owes $935 million to TARP, the second-highest such debt in the U.S of part of A. banking system. They're #2! They're #2!

But then there's more back-office butchering going on here...

"Manuel Morales Jr., Popular director and chairman of the board’s corporate governance committee, owes the bank about $1.5 million through different lines of credit, according to a filing. The board agreed to restructure his debts in December, changing most of them to three-year term loans. While Morales is “current” on his obligations, the loans “would be classified as troubled debt restructurings,” according to the bank."

Oh. So if you're IN the bank, you don't have to deal with the pesky little rules of actually running the bank properly. That's good to know. Especially since the Feds noticed long ago (well, last year, at least) and placed Banco Popular under its direct scrutiny "due to failings in the bank’s management of documentation concerning property loans."

Gosh. It almost makes you forget the time Banco Popular's Old San Juan branch "forgot" to properly report $25 million in laundered drug money...

Banco Popular is the largest local bank, with over 40% of all Our deposits; its closest rival is at 17%. As an economic pillar, Banco Popular is more like a ragged toothpick, using its local weight to squat and crap on Our growth with its near-monopolistic powers.

Want a mortgage? Banco Popular handles over 55% of them (and The Larva's wife, Lucé "I Met 'Meat' Romney" handles over 2100 of them...for a cool $900,000+). Car loan? Ditto. Personal loan? Same. Credit card? Yeah. Construction loan? Uh-huh, especially if Uncle Richie Wretch is kin.

Banco Popular is weak, troubled and run by nincompoops. TARP cash kept them afloat and because no other bank in their right mind would deal with the Dr. Moreau-like scenario here, the Feds handed Banco Popular pretty much all of WesternBank's cherry-picked "good assets," in a deal that shut down a weakened bank and propped up another.

Some analysts are touting buying Banco Popular shares. One even compares that purchase to that of buying lottery tickets. But that same "lottery gamble" source thinks alternative good buys are Doral Financial Group (DRL) and First Bancorp (FBP), numbers 2 and 3 amongst local banks. So it's not that Banco Popular is a hidden gem: it's that Puerto Rico's hybrid faux-economy could yield good deals if it kicks back into high-consumption gear.

I'll repeat Myself: Banco Popular is an obstacle to Our growth. It is a massive financial roadblock sitting squarely in key industrial and business sectors: construction, commercial loans, mortgages and personal loans. It dominates a weakened economy that was weaker than it should have been because Banco Popular--through its near-total control of 936 funds--used that money to build a national base (now rebranded as "Popular Community Bank") rather than truly build Our Island. In effect, it colluded with Stateside firms to zip profits back home, rather than invest them locally, as Section 936 intended.

Given that Banco Popular has long been run like a friquitín's greasy cash box, where any José, Julio or Manny can grab a handful of dollars and waltz away, that its economic base has been self-eroded, that its strategy is more "survival" than "revival" and that it believes Uncle Richie is worth more than $1.8 million to lead them exactly nowhere, I say it's time to topple Banco Popular.

The sooner the better. For Our Island's best and brightest sake.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

How Fascist is Puerto Rico? Part II

If you missed Part I, you know where to find it. 

Continuing the list of 14 Characteristics of Fascism, as applied to Puerto Rico. The definition followed by My Comments:

8) Religion and Government are Intertwined. Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government's policies or actions.

CHECK. But the form it takes in Puerto Rico is that of religious and political leaders coming together to form coalitions. Think of Jorge Raschke's annual political rally in front of the Capitol Building or Archbishop Roberto González becoming a de facto advisor to government agencies. Religion and politics are two faces of the same hypocritical coin used to fleece the flock.

9) Corporate Power is Protected. The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.

CHECK. CHECK! Business and industrial leaders here are in up to their hairlines with both major parties. In fact, it's considered "sound business strategy" to do so, and the slope from "contributor" to "crony" is just a matter of a few more dollars and mutual greed. 

10) Labor Power is Suppressed. Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed.

CHECK. But again, with a variant: the leaders of major labor unions "jump ship" and form close ties with government and business leaders, thus enriching their own pockets by staying in power and weakening the overall labor movement. It isn't rare to see a union have a president/council made up of people who've been in power for a decade or more. Their lot improves visibly, while the colleague they represent wonder why their union dues are increasingly worthless.

11) Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts. Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. Free expression in the arts is openly attacked, and governments often refuse to fund the arts.

CHECK. Although this one could be more cultural than political as My Brethren have long had an anti-intellectual streak, seeing "smarts" and "book learning"--usually related to mastery of English--as a denial of being Puerto Rican. (Yeah, I said it.) What We worship is "cunning", which sees arts and intellectual pursuits as worthless. Thus the decades-long fight about funding the Institute of Puerto Rican Culture (seen rightly as a hotbed of anti-government, patriotic pursuits), the decades-long use of Education as a political pigpen/slush fund and the disdain of government for the protection and respect due to higher education and its related endeavors (Ricky Rat and Supertube Scumbag being the latest in a long list of examples.)

12) Obsession with Crime and Punishment. Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws.

CHECK, but in a different way. The recent "revamped" Penal Code is the perfect example, as it increased penalties for a wide variety of crimes, but left punishment for "white collar" and "political" crimes pretty much where they were. Tack on the recent plebiscite to deny the right to bail (which rightly failed), the Justice department so riddled and stunted by political appointees that (A) cases and convictions have dropped despite a 21% increase in crime and (B) the whole police/Justice system is under investigation at the federal level, plus how much the "Fools in charge" fear Us and only then do you have a clearer picture of what kind of obsession the Fools have with crime and punishment: it is a tool to control Us to protect themselves. Let's not forget, either, how much the prison population vote gets courted here...

13) Rampant Cronyism and Corruption. Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability.

CHECK! CHECK! CHECK! OH SHIT! CHECK! The level of corruption and cronyism in Puerto Rico is so wide and deep, it isn't isolated, it's systemic. It's not skin cancer: it's AIDS. A Comptroller official two administrations ago estimated that corruption cost Us about 15% of Our roughly $9 billion budget: he was wrong. It's closer to 40% and may be even higher. The Larva's wife and several close friends are on the take. Senate president Mad Dog has his father and several close friends on the take. House president Gluttonny has her family and lesbian support group on the take. Go on down the line and the numbers grow, the cronyism spreads, the corruption rots wider and deeper. And oh yes, it involves the commonwealth party as well. We're deep into denial about this, making fun of it, but if We were truly pissed off about it (and not benefiting or wanting to benefit from it in some way), We would have Mussolinied these crapbags a long time ago. 

14) Fraudulent Elections. Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.

CHECK, barely. Our crapbags are not much into subtlety here, preferring the "O'Neill Method" of fake voters/fake votes to steal elections. And rather than turn the judiciary openly, We have the Electoral Commission, a quasi-judicial forum where the cheating can be coordinated and the trick is to get your cheating scheme in at the very last minute so the opposition can't trump it.


That's 7-of-7 today, and using My 1 (Utopia) to 100 (Totally screwed) scale, I'd put this half at 86... and rising. With yesterday's 74 and averaging, We're at 80 on the Fascist Scale.

80.

Just My opinion, but you tell Me, Brethren: Am I wrong? Is the number really much lower? And if it is higher, then when do We Mussolini these bastards?



The Jenius Has Spoken.

How Fascist Is Puerto Rico? Part I

Way back in the dawn of time--2004, to be exact--I commented on an article titled "The 14 Characteristics of Fascism," by Lawrence Britt. I posted My comment to a forum, amidst the horrified reaction of the murderous moron stealing another election and Tullyvision Studios picked up the post. Still has it on their website, too.

Now back then, I applied the "fascism prism" to the U.S. of part of A. Still do, which is why I can tell you that Obama has done practically nothing to reverse the trend. (Keep that in mind in November, okay?) And though I had a couple of "Hmmm" moments concerning this topic and My Island, only now does it seem imperative I apply Britt's description to Puerto Rico. You'll see why.

Here are the first 7 characteristics of fascism and My comments:

1) Powerful and Continuing Nationalism. Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottoes, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia.

CHECK. We are, to put it mildly, as jingoistic as the worst colonial outpost or the defeated Deep South can be. We don't know exactly why We act that way, but We do and think it's a really good thing.

2) Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights. Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of "need." 

NOT YET. What keeps Us out of CHECK (get it?) is the federal government watching over Us, but We're not far from clipping rights: the legislature already has--on the books--a mandatory 3-year sentence for disrupting their """work""" or disrespecting them. Whittling away at rights never makes them stronger.

3) Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause. The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe.

CHECK. "They" are evil. "They" are crooks. "They" are ruining Us. Everybody says that, whipping up a frenzy of largely political smokestorms that obscure the real problems We have, to the benefit of those basically creating and gaining benefits from those problems.

4) Supremacy of the Military.  Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.

CHECK. "But Jenius, We don't have an army." Yes We do: the police. Under The Larva (there's an image...) the police have received more funding than ever before and--pay attention to this--a larger advertising budget than they've ever had. Despite this, crime is rampant and corruption in the police force is endemic. But does the government tackle that as a problem? No chance in hell.

5) Rampant Sexism. The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Opposition to abortion is high, as is homophobia and anti-gay legislation and national policy. 

CHECK. Women do hold positions of power here--visibly--but are often cut out of the real power structure (cut to house president Jenniffer "Gluttonny" González nodding her head...) Opposition to abortion is opposition to a woman's choice, homophobia is widespread in government to the point of wanting to needlessly and stupidly amending the Constitution to define marriage as "between man and woman," an intrusion into personal lives that has no politically rational basis.

6) Controlled Mass Media. Sometimes the media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives.

CHECK. I've made My position very clear about the Ferré-Rangel cartel, but other media are equally compromised to the point where they are nothing but puppets. In one case, that of Antulio, who cross-dresses up like a puppet, the metaphor is reality, as his colon houses the elongating arm of one Thomas "Mad Dog" Rivera. 

7) Obsession with National Security. Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.

CHECK. We don't have "national" security here: what We have is "power structure" security. Watch the current campaign closely and see how fear is the primary motivator of almost every ad. Listen to press conferences to see how fear is used as the stick to make you stand where they want you to. Notice how fear permeates the public discourse. Those in power are afraid of Us, so they use fear against Us. Seeing how corrupt, venal and useless they are, one can glimpse how fear becomes their god, their shield and their weapon.


In this first half of the list, We're 6-for-7. On a scale of 1 (Utopia) to 100 (Utterly fascist), I'd say that on these characteristics, We're at about 74. Certainly nowhere near good, but not so lost that We have to go all French on the government's ass and take to the sewers to start killing the rats.

But that's the first half. Just the first half.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

Bitter, Fraudulent Medicine

One of the "series" in The Jenius, several posts related to a topic, is about the astonishing incompetence, hypocrisy and fraudulent behavior of one Yocasta Brugal, a walking waste of space at the San Juan Bautista School of Medicine.

But emerging as an even filthier latrine of incompetence, hypocrisy and criminal behavior is the University of Puerto Rico School of Medicine. In recent days, they hired--to a fully-tenured position--the youngest son of Pedro Stupid Rosselló, former asswipe governor, one Ricardo "Ricky Rat" Rosselló. Ostensibly, Ricky Rat is some kind of stem cell researcher and he "sold" the UPR on the idea of hiring him as they had no one with that specialty on their staff.

But thanks to Luis J. Villanueva, We have a clear picture of what Ricky Rat is, in a beat-down so fucking thorough I wet Myself in admiration. The lowlights: Ricky Rat is not a qualified researcher in any field, his few accomplishments are inflated beyond reason and there are easily 80-100 better qualified professors and candidates than the Rat.

Toss in that the UPR publishing arm will release a book by Ricky Rat and that within a month of his fraudulent and disgusting hiring he was given paid leave and you have a case where the Rat is not a single repulsive creature: he's part of a huge sewage pack.

Hundreds of UPR professors toil under temporary contracts for years, but Ricky Rat oozed right in, like the well-greased douchebag he is, to gain what he isn't even remotely close to earning. But there is one thing you can say about Ricky Rat (for now): he ain't no criminal.

In the category of "Hiring Criminals Any Way You Can," the UPR School of Medicine gives a job to one René Vazquez Botet, alias "Supertube Scumbag," a man who was convicted and sentenced to 5 years for fraud and corruption charges while he was working the aqueduct project locally known as the "Supertube." Two points need to be stressed here:

1) Supertube Scumbag is--ostensibly--a pediatric ophthalmologist. What the fuck was he doing working with an aqueduct project? Well, We know the answer: stealing.

2) Under whose (mis)administration was this whole Supertube scam? Pedro Stupid Roselló's. Uh-huh.

Last year, within weeks after being released from prison to house arrest in Puerto Rico, Supertube Scumbag is hired on a part-time basis by the UPR School of Medicine. That means that a convict--a fucking criminal bag of political pigshit--is hired to teach future doctors at what is supposed to be the premiere medical school of the Island.

You mean to tell me there was NO OTHER FUCKING PERSON better-qualified for this part-time teaching position than Supertube Scumbag? No one?

What's bringing this up to a boil now is that later this week, Supertube Scumbag is coming up for tenure--for the third time. Yes, the UPR School of (Fraudulent) Medicine is thinking about making Supertube Scumbag a permanent member of their faculty by violating due process, because, you know, criminals make awesome teachers.

If any of you get the impression that Stupid Rosselló is some sort of master manipulator, you might be on the right path. His two (mis)administrations are the most corrupt--by far--in Our history and nearly every major player in the current (non)administration, from The Larva and Mad Dog and Mouth Fart (Marcos Rodriguez, The Larva's pet retarded pig) and many others were part of Stupid Rosselló's fraud squad...including Il Castrato, the prison pansy whose convictions are now history.

How deep and wide and severe is the corruption on My Island? I've shown you a facet of the tip of an iceberg, maybe 1% of the visible 10%...and 90% buried in the shitty muck of what used to be Our Future. Hard to swallow, that is.

Bitter medicine indeed.



The Jenius Has Spoken.


P.S. UPR president Dingbat Jones, or whatever his name is, says he will not approve the nomination of Supertube Scumbag for a tenured position. Yeah. Okay.

20 Years...And Counting

Aw, hell.

With 2 runs allowed in the 9th, the Pittsburgh Pirates lost 4-3, for their 82nd loss of the season. What that means is that for the 20th season in a row, the Pirates will have a losing record when the play-offs begin.

Twenty. Seasons.

Twenty. In a row.

As late as August 6th, the Pirates were 16 games above .500, clicking along within striking distance of the division lead and leading a healthy race for the new "wild card" play-off spots. They had a legitimate MVP candidate in Andrew McCutchen and a pitching staff that was holding its own well past the All Star break.

But.

The pitching became erratic. McCutchen cooled off from his scorching .370+ pace and started to feel the wear and tear of being a superstar at the plate, on the field (he routinely tossed his body around to make spectacular catches) and on the basepaths, stealing like a politician. The rest of the team didn't have the depth or experience to break out of slumps. And the losses piled up. Over a 23-game stretch, the Pirates lost 18...then later lost 8 of 10.

Today, as the Bucs celebrated the 40th anniversary of Roberto Clemente's 3,000th--and final--hit, the loss not only cemented a record of futility, it marred the memorializing of a golden moment.

Twenty seasons.

I was so sure this would be the one to end the streak. Unlike some sports fans, I don't live and die with My teams. But I do hurt when they lose. I hate to see the Steelers struggle and believe Me, I hate to see what the Pirates have become. As one of the original National League franchises and one that should have blown by 10,000 victories a few years ago, as of today the team has an all-time record of 9,958-9,856. At the pace they were going up to 1992, they could have been the first, but certainly would have been the second or at worst third team to break the 10,000 mark; they'll make it next year, the seventh team to do so, as they try to break the two-decade long streak.

And I hate to say this, but next year doesn't look good. In 2011, the young Pirates were going great until July. This year, they pushed the envelope to August. But young teams seldom improve three years in a row; not in baseball. The pattern is usually a step forward one year, a leap the second and then falling back in Year Three.

Why? Because young teams don't have the experience to overcome big disappointments. That's where veteran players and established stars come in. McCutchen is a stud, he'll be 26 next year, hitting his prime, but surrounded by players younger than him and those that are older much less successful than he. Who's going to help him?

This is where management comes in. Except for signing McCutchen long term, Pirate management has had the mindset of "Get good money by selling stars and prospects," to the extent that some 14 All Stars on other teams were once part of the Pittsburgh team or system. In baseball terms, that makes the Pirates a farm team.

Will they do better in 2013? I'd need to see three things before I'd feel confident that 2013 is the "Snap the sucking streak" year:

1) Signing 1-2 solid hitters to beef up the offense.

2) A new pitching coach who knows how to develop young arms.

3) Management willing to put itself on the line for a winning team.

Maybe those things will happen while the hot stove league has its heyday. I'll keep an occasional eye on the team's doings and when April rolls around, I'll get the familiar feeling of quiet joy that baseball season always gives Me. And sometime closer to May, I'll look at the standings and see how the Pirates--still My Pirates--are doing.

Wait 'til next year. After twenty years, the waiting is nothing but emptiness.



The Jenius Has Spoken.


[Update: 3 Oct 2012: The Pirates finished the season with a record of 79-83.]

Fallout From Il Castrato

Search for "Il Castrato" on this blog. Go ahead. That walking bag of anal pus has received several Jenius spotlights over the years simply because he is a thief, a liar and the moral equivalent of a cockroach in a bean salad.

Yes, I just put "anal pus" and "bean salad" in the same sentence. Blame Il Castrato.

What causes this repeated blaze of attention on a specimen ulcer snot would look down upon is that Il Castrato (formerly known as Jorge De Castro) has a storied past. "Storied" as in "sociopathic." Originally a minor member of the Popular Democratic Party (neither one nor the other nor the other), his aberrant behavior and outright stupidity got him tossed from the party rank-and-file.

Sociopath that it is, Il Castrato quickly made a leap to the New Progressive Party (neither one nor the other nor the other), where he quickly became a major figure.

Brief aside: Do some research, Brethren, to discover how many "lame-asses" were ostracized by the PDP and went on to become major players in the NPP. Here's  one name: Roberto Rexach. Go ahead: check that out. The note that no minor or major numbskull from the NPP has switched parties to the PDP and become a figure of any relevance or importance in that party. Seems like the statehooders embrace any walking breathing cur, even traitors. Then again, you have to admire their open-minded, equal-thieving opportunity gang mentality, don't you? (And another point: the fact that they switch parties indicates clearly how little value "Our status" has as a political bellwether.)

Back to Il Castrato, who after joining the NPP, started making waves, only his were essentially ripples in a cesspool. Politically, Il Castrato was to the left of sanity and far removed from common sense. As a party member, he was more a crazed rat than a focused weasel. In his personal life, he had the delicate touch of a hippo on LSD. And as a thief, he was as dumb as shit and several times more smelly.

Il Castrato got caught. Slammed. Nailed. Hammered like a leprous worm. His "defense" was to threaten to "name names," which he did. Often. Still keeps doing it. But what Il Castrato doesn't understand, and never will because his IQ and EQ multiplied don't make it to 2 digits, is that he's so fucked, it doesn't matter who he names...because his "testimony" means jacksquat as evidence.

But.

That doesn't mean he can't point in the right direction.

Let Me drop another name Cuban-Americans supported, a proven douchebag with a shitty reputation who "named names" and over time, was proven to be accurate: José Canseco.

When Canseco, the poster boy for over-inflated egos masking a moral failure, made his accusations--after he was nailed for committing the same crimes he was accusing others of--the world yawned. Canseco's word was crap...but his observations weren't. He knew because he was an insider. And he railed at the world for not believing him.

Il Castrato's word is runny diarrhea...but his observations are not. He knows because he was insider. He didn't commit his crimes alone: he's too stupid and too greedy to have succeeded for long. No, he had help. He had associates, partners in crime, fellow vermin using their political connections to grease skids with fraud. And from the pathetic, crabbed, dark sumphole of his despair, Il Castrato rails at Us for not believing him.

Those that know...they hear him. They know. And if Il Castrato had the brains of a pebble, he would've written a book. Naming names. And then he could sit back, declare himself guilty, as he did yesterday, and accept his fate, knowing that Time--as it does so often--will tell.

No, Il Castrato's too stupid to have done that. Yet, Time does tell, and when it does, We'll find out that Il Castrato's words were worthless...but accurate.

Let the fallout begin.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

Countdown For A Cowardly Cartel

There's rumblings that We are about to get new daily newspapers. Two, to take the more specific part of the rumors. At a time when most markets are losing newspapers to web-based news sites, Puerto Rico is gaining--apparently--two dailies.

Why? Why now?

It's not like We are avid readers or consumers of news. I hate to say it: My Brethren look upon reading as akin to inserting suppositories, but less useful. And as far as news, Our general mind-set is geared to PUERTO RICO: GOSSIP/SCANDAL/TRAGEDY with a second set consisting of U.S. of part of A./NY/FL/Scandal and a dot that says "The rest of what other people call 'the world'".

So if it's not serving a reader/news consumer market, what could cause 2 new newspapers to jump into Our market in 2013?

Ad revenue.

Banners of the Farewell Tour

For some reason, the ad market locally is more like a dinosaur than an iPhone 5. Even now, the majority of overall ad dollars spent here goes to newspapers, an estimated 63%. That leaves a paltry 37% spread across TV, radio, Internet and several alternative media.

So newspapers still rule here. And who rules the newspapers and thus the ad revenue stream? The Ferré-Rangel cartel, owners of El Nuevo Día, Primera Hora and more than half the major local weeklies. They control about 65% of the newspaper ad revenue, which means they control about 41% of the total stream, a princely sum, when you consider it represents about $98 million.

Still, why? Why now?

First of all, Puerto Rico is a captive ad market. It's an island. But not just any island: it is an island filled with people who buybuybuy like drones. That means that companies will advertise like mad to lure the drones. It's what We've seen for decades.

Second, the Ferré-Rangel cartel is vulnerable. Their attempts to polish the face of the pig they call "the family corporation" have not helped improve its looks. So the big mega-millions sale they lusted for has not been completed, and as their position and the economy worsened, the prospects of umpteen dollars to bankroll personal ambitions have faded.

Third, thanks to a corrupt passel of smegma-licking thieves, a local failed daily is now a putrid propaganda puppy trainer given away for free. It broke the "free" price barrier and further eroded the ad revenue base for the Ferré-Rangel cartel.

Fourth, the ad market here is ripe for a competitor because the environment has become stagnant. The deaths of El Vocero (now a zombie) and The San Juan Star (a puny half-zombie called The Daily Sun or some such crap) have given one competitor a solid base...with huge cracks. And into those cracks comes a rival.

Yes, one. According to the rumors, the international chain of Metro papers is the King Kong moving in next year. {Disclosure: I worked on a project to bring that chain to Puerto Rico in 2008-2009. The big stumbling block: no large local advertiser would commit to placing ads in the new paper for fear of retaliation by the Ferré-Rangel cartel.} And again, according to the rumors, the cartel will launch its own free daily as a pre-emptive strike.

Which means that the cartel will actually cannibalize itself in a desperate attempt to survive.

Really.

Here's the thing: If a company dominates the newspaper industry the way the Ferré-Rangel cartel does, it would behoove said cartel to improve the quality of news coverage and community interaction so that future competitors would have a bigger entry barrier to their market. In essence, be a true newspaper and develop yourself into an integral part of the business, industrial and social fabric. Which means you become an integral part of all of Us.

Is it hard work? Yes. Does it take time? Of course. But the end result is a newspaper or a newspaper chain--in a closed market--that can only be beaten by the Internet, which is still in its infancy here and thus capable of being dominated even by something as horrendous as elnuevodia.com and primerahora.com.

Remember, this is a market where total ad revenue exceeds $210 million and one company is dragging down close to $100 million. Let Me put it this way: that represents roughly $26.50 per person. How many companies get at least $26.50 a year per person in their market?

But of course, the cartel won't do that: they haven't in the almost two decades they've cornered the market. They took the easy route, the exploitation route, and when the going got tough--as it will--they went into "survival" mode, short-term thinking. If they'd had a gram of vision or a smidgen of guts, they could have created a new paradigm for newspapers in Puerto Rico, a potential model for others to emulate.

Instead, they're going to launch a free daily to compete with their two newstand-sold dailies in order to fight off a free daily...with much deeper pockets, talent and vision.

And because the Ferré-Rangel cartel is not really a part of Us, never wanted to be except to exploit, threaten, browbeat, deceive, insult and manipulate Us, We really don't care what happens to them. They've taught Us to not care about the news, to not give a damn whether We read the Truth or not, to not have any concern for them as Our allies because they never were.

Now they need Us to fight off a rival that could become--blind hope--the ally We deserved these past three decades. Regardless of whether that ally emerges or not, the Ferré-Rangel cartel is headed for a crushing defeat. They will want--hell, they will desperately need--allies...and I for one am sure they won't get enough to survive.

I've said for years that the cartel is an obstacle to Puerto Rico's progress. Come 2014, their days as an obstacle may become a visible countdown. And they will have nobody--absolutely nobody--to blame but themselves.

Good riddance.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

[Update: 2 Oct 2012: The battle of the free dailies has its first salvo. The Ferré-Rangel cartel launches Indice and Metro launches a sneak peek of its offering. Oh, We won't be better informed...We'll just be entertained. I can't wait for the Ferré-Rangel cartel to file for bankruptcy.]

Free Speech FTW

This won't take long...for a change.

There's a law now in Puerto Rico where protests that "interrupt or disrespect the Legislature and/or its legislative functions" carry an automatic 3-year prison sentence.

You read that correctly.  Just "dissing" these chancre-coated tapeworms is enough--according to them--to shut your ass in jail.  For 36 months.

So.

They are wrong. Short of bodily harm or structural damage, ANY protest by citizens concerning the functions of ANY branch of government is protected by the 1st Amendment, as free speech and the right peaceful assembly. The whole raison d'etre of a protest is to draw attention to a perceived problem, so what other function does a government branch, agency, department or office that is more important than paying attention to its citizens--who OWN the government in the first place?

There is none. Case closed.


Here's the idea: take the so-called "massive protest" slated for someday in October, gather thousands of people (good luck with that) and then silently march the entire crowd into the Capitol building. All of them. Have them pack the place like a hot nightclub doing a Viagra 2-for-1 Happy Hour on a Saturday night. And coach each person to respond to any "official" inquiry/order/threat/mouth fart with a gentle "I am engaging in free speech. Thank you."

"If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so." -- Thomas Jefferson


This law is unjust; it is wrong and evil.


Let's show the pus-brained slimebags We elected what right is and who truly holds the power.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

Transparency FTW

[My Thanks to Janine Mendes-Franco for selecting My recent "We're #1! We're #1! (In Corruption)" post for Global Voices Online. It's been a while since I was honored that way, but that's not Janine's fault; I wasn't producing that much worth looking at. Happy to see it happen again.]


Things on My Island--for it is still My Island--are atrocious, in many ways. We have politicians stealing millions of dollars and names have been named repeatedly, most of the prominently placed in the statehood party, currently running the show like their own carny. We have government services gouging citizens to enrich """public"""" servants and private pockets, which leads back to politicians stealing Our money. Again.

We have a declining economy, further saddled by a government debt fueled by politicians stealing Our money. Parts of Our public property are being sold to line the pockets of private companies and politicians stealing Our money. And the watchdogs We are supposed to have are lapdogs licking the balls of those who feed them the merest scraps of the loot they've stolen over the years.

My go-to solution would be to shoot the vilest offenders, in the face. That--amazingly--is frowned upon. When so-called drug lords do it to each other, over mere money, it's okay, but start talking about shooting thugs and thieves that steal Our money, Our rights and Our future and--Whoa, Nelly!--now We got some 'splainin' to do.

Fuck that. The reasons are obvious: if We don't exterminate the vermin, they will ruin Us. They are close to doing so on a scale that would turn this Island into the second book of the Bible...and no need to re-CGI the parting of a sea. So wiping them out is rational, a measure of sanity and sanitary behavior. That is frowned upon. No wonder We're getting screwed.

But what is really going on? Is the level of corruption so dense and broad and deep that no solution can be implemented? No, it isn't that bad...yet. How do We know? The majority of Our population is still outside of the thievery. If a majority of Us were involved, like the drug lords, the bullets would have been flying. 

Thus: a solution is possible. And the word to trigger it is transparency.

Obviously We can't count on Our media to do this. The newspapers We have are inked toilet paper with their own feces pre-imprinted between pestiferous ads. Radio """pundits""" are very much based on the "ideological idiot" model wherein your personal stupidity in regards to political preferences has to be waved like a party flag in drunken paws. Not to mention that radio journalists suffer the same sans cojones and shit-for-brains mush that affects nearly all Our so-called newspaper and TV journalists, where courage and conviction are tossed aside in favor of gossipy questions, empty-handed rants and huge proclamations of integrity that add up to old triple-penetration whores claiming virginity in any one of their cash-crop holes.

No, We can't count on Our media. The transparency push We need will come from the Internet. Our version of the Internet. To make it work will take a concerted effort, a multi-layered, 24/7, laser-focused charge against "politics as usual, business as usual" and the self-fucking chronic "We're helpless" stupidity of "Ay bendito, what can We do?"

We have the Centro de Periodismo Investigativo, investigative journalism under a non-profit model. We have News Is My Business. There's NotiCel and CaribNews Puerto Rico. There's Think Puerto Rico. There's José Maldonado and Luis Villanueva. We have bloggers like Michael Castro, the pseudonymous Elco Lao and Kofla Olivieri. We have many many more resources that indicate a band of dedicated newshounds who are more interested in facts than fluff, in the grubby details of Truth than the airy bubbles of gossip and who strive to cut through the bullshit because We've had enough of it all.

These are some of the people I follow closely, on Twitter and blogs. I don't agree with them all the time; I don't have to. But what they say is often pointed squarely at Truth and that's a hell of a lot more than what I get from Our so-called "prensa".

Some of them won't want to become part of a "Journalism Strike Force," but I believe enough will want to, those will attract more and We'll have the deep, broad and focused spotlights We need to truly stamp out most of the corruption that rots Our society.

But separately, We can't do as much as We can united. The paucity of local government statistics can be remedied by folks like Leo Gómez and fellow economists, and with those stats, We can challenge the fetid utterances that pass uncontested in press conferences. But stats without analysis and context are useless, so the news sources have to come together to use them. And there have to be outlets for these analyses, ones that don't already have their asses owned by politicians and corporate thieves.

What's needed is a unit formed by as many competent players as possible that not only gathers the news, but studies it and reveals its truths. One that challenges the status quo every day, systematically, loudly and with the conviction that doing so is not obstruction, it is duty. Because I have to keep saying this: the government works for Us. And their dealings in Our name are subject to every--I mean every--level of scrutiny We have the will to apply. If they don't like it--good. They work for Us. We can fire them at will, in lieu of just firing at them.

It will take some time to get this unit to converge and start rolling. But once it does, it will pin elected officials like bugs to cardboard and make them offer proof of what they do and how. Cockroaches flee when light shines upon them, and try as they might, no politician, no political party, no government, has ever effectively shut down the power of a crusade for Truth without using guns. And if they go that route, well We can too. Count Me in either way.

The power of the Fourth Estate is the power of the citizenry to remind the government that it is a servant, not a master, and that it remains only by sufferance. The call to transparency will be fought--bitterly, savagely, criminally, even--but when many lights shine, darkness is ultimately banished.

We can do this. We have to do this. Or the visible future of Our media talent will be scattered jottings about Our collapse and a few maudlin essays of "What once was and could have been."

And that's an Island I won't give a damn about.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

Concrete Plans

In a concrete example of irony, Puerto Rico is getting a new mall, a luxury mall, no less. A $405 million private investment that will be anchored by Saks Fifth Avenue and Nordstrom's, nestled against the recently-privatized International Airport.

According to Our (non)governor--The Larva--"Puerto Rico doesn't have too many shopping centers." This twinkie also believes that "Puerto Rico has the lowest murder rate since the Garden of Eden," that "Puerto Rico's population is growing every day" and that "My wife's income is due to luck."

A rough count indicates that We have about 135 shopping centers, a ratio of roughly 1 per 27 square miles. That means than in an average 5.5 mile square, there's a shopping center. If the continental U.S. of part of A. had the same ratio, it would have 140,522 shopping centers. How many does the U.S. of part of A. actually have? 107,703 (Table 1061, 2010 data.)

So, The Larva is wrong. He is even more wrong when you take into account that We are dotted by 58 Walgreen's with more on the way and a growing number of CVS Pharmacies, over 520 fast-food and casual dining chain restaurants and several dozen stand-alone stores (furniture, rentals, auto parts, etc.) from U.S.-based companies.

For the record: Our murder rate per 100,000 residents is higher than Mexico's (where Mexico has been in the frank midst of an uncontrolled drug war since 2006), Our population has dropped from 3.96 million to 3.7 million and The Larva's wife makes money from political patronage and influence-peddling, not luck. (Uh, cough-cough, allegedly. Cough-cough. Wink.)

Okay, moving on.

The brilliance of this luxury mall plan, aside from the fact that it will definitely line the pockets of several Larva cronies, is that it takes reality and shoves a slimy hand of optimistic greed into its face. Too many shopping centers? Nonsense! Shrinking economy? Balderdash! Reduced tax base? Poppycock! Dwindling population? Superb! For you see, in this through-the-looking-glass, Mad Hatter-like view, propelled by greed and thuggish elán, the sky's the limit!

Let's cut to the chase. The vision these squinty-eyed tapeworms have is of a Puerto Rico slathered in concrete, a chalky mirror that powers a cash machine so hot it could burn a whole in the ozone layer. For that, you have to think big...really big. This luxury mall in the swampy grounds next to the airport is just small batatas. The big ideas are still to come. And you'll hear them here first.

El Morro: What the hell does Puerto Rico need a fort for? It's not like We're going to be invaded by anything except monkeys, lizards, Cuban frogs and lesser species (Republicans). So Let's turn that hunk of stone into a food court, a massive--dare I say?--historical food court filled with the finest European cuisine (Olive Garden, Scotch 'n' Sirloin, Romano's) and for statehooders, a McDonald's.

El Yunque: The only rain forest in the U.S. of part of A. is just so much wet vegetation, so the plan here is to level the hilltops--make it a true anvil--and build a mega-casino/galleria catering to the mondo crowd (as opposed to the mondongo crowd.) Toss in several multi-million dollar homes surrounded by concrete boxes filled with exotic plants (from Europe, of course) and you have both security and a metaphor for "being steps above the huddled masses."

Guánica Semi-Desert Tropical Forest: Good gravy, what kind of oxymoron is that? Ranks down there with "political leader" and "Fortuño's cojones." The Guánica forest is the only one left in the world, which of course means its time is past and extinction should be sped up. The plan: two golf courses with a spine of townhouses of which the southern ones have an infinity pool. Build a concrete wall topped by statues (European, of course) to keep iguanas and other riff-raff out.

GasoDildo: Under this new vision, a 93-mile gas tube is a micropenis, a useless bit in the creation of a new Puerto Rico. Extend that sucker by having it go from Ponce (parking) to Mayagüez, then cut across the entire Central Mountain Region, maker a left in Fajardo, slash through the northeastern mangroves, pass by the new San Juan Mall, cut across the bay to pass underneath La Perla and El Morro (hey, a food court needs cooking gas, right?) and keep going until it hits the electrical facility in Cataño. See? You just have to massage the original a little bit to see it grow into a monster shaft that could really fu--el Our future. Hell, it might reach 250 miles when all is said and done, wrapped, supported and protected by concrete from Mile One (the parking lot known as Ponce) and Mile 250.

The best part? There's fewer people living here to protest meaning there's more land to grab!

Now that also means that there's fewer consumers for the food court, to buy the mega-houses and townhouses with infinity pools, play the golf courses and the casinos, but by raising the airline rates, We can keep more people from flying off the Island and by creating a new Public-Private Alliance (a.k.a. major theft of public monies) to "manage" tourism, We can bring in outsiders by the pound. And you don't really think the skanky planners care if the stores, houses, casino and golf courses make money, do you? Condescending chuckle. The money's in the building, bay-bee! The hell with the rest!

This new vision of Puerto Rico takes your breath away, right? And to think it's only a few years from becoming a reality, making multi-millionaires out of scum toejam would look down upon with open disdain.

To quote a clown: What a country.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

And Justice For None

Somewhere there's a T-shirt that reads: "If you want peace, work for justice."

The Puerto Rican version would be: "If you want a piece of the loot, work for Justice."

The justice system We have is composed of three main parts: law enforcement, the court system and the penal system. Let's examine each one, briefly:

Law enforcement: Subject to FBI raids and U.S. of part of A. Justice Department investigations. Plural on both accounts.

Court system: Plagued by political cronyism, sloppy legal "work" and inexperienced (and uncaring) prosecutors, leading to a 21% drop in crime charges filed, at a time when major crimes have increased close to 31%.

Penal system: Overcrowded, under control of local gangs, used as political muscle (the statehood party knows all about this) and riddled with drugs and their related violence.

Now before I go on, let Me say something to those who dismiss all this with a casual "It's those drug folks killing each other over there, that's all." My response: Shut your fucking piehole. One, because you are definitely taking the easy, lazy, scummy way out of not thinking about what's going on. Two, because you're too stupid and too lazy to realize that on an island, everybody is connected to everybody else...per force. Your refusal to acknowledge that is as idiotic as saying "The gangrene in my foot is just an infection over there." You and your attitude make Me want to puke. In your face. Twice.

It isn't an "over there," caserío y barriada de mala muerte problem. It isn't about puntos or bichotes: it's about all of Us. Here's a brief breakdown:

Why did the FBI have to engage in a huge police raid here? Because the level of corruption in the police force and the local Justice Department meant that We couldn't do it Ourselves.

Where did this level of corruption come from? The drug trade and political cronysim. Proof? Prosecutors, judges and high-ranking police officers have long been selected by political affiliation more than by merit. Toss in millions of dollars in drug money with self-serving rapacious vermin who owe no allegiance to anything even remotely resemblimng a value or an ideal and you have...corruption. Deep and broad.

Where do these cancerous worlds of drugs, influence and violence come together? In the "Justice" system, where cops on low pay take payments for protection, prosecutors kiss ass ro engage in political favoritism, judges make rulings based on dollars and cents rather than legal precedents and prisons become centers of influence to put more lipstick on the leprous pig it all is.

So you have drug dealers cozying up to elected officials who use the police to monitor their illegal business while prosecutors are slotted into jobs as favors and ordered to waste their time in frenzied political persecution and judges look the other way when facts tell them to stare at the Truth, their angle of look-away directly related to monetary gain they enjoy in doing so.

Justice is not blind here, not even close. It has eyes and hands everywhere, perverted from a system of checks to a cash-based free-for-all. You might think it's all happening "over there," but think about how far "over there" is when you hear about a shooting in a shopping center you visit, or in front of a restaurant you like, or when a cop pulls you aside for no reason you can discern. Because at that point, "over there" is "right here," and do you trust the Justice system We've allowed to rot to treat you fairly?

If you do, you're headed for a huge, maybe even fatal, disappointment.



The Jenius Has Spoken.

We're #1! We're #1! (In Corruption)

Riding the crest of public corruption, Puerto Rico cements its place as #1 with an astonishing 130 corruption convictions--convictions, people--in 2011. That works out to almost 11 a month, or almost 3 a week, making Us the absolute bomb when it comes to being jackass thieves in public """service""".

This little nauseating factoid is contained in the U.S. of part of A. Justice Department's Division of Public Integrity report for 2011. (HTML here; PDF here). Now Let's look more closely at this, shall We?

It wasn't easy to get to 130 in one year. No señor. We had to push the envelope and redefine scumbucket by lifting Our annual count from 17 in 2010 to that magnificent 130 last year. How impressive was Our criminal victory? As defined by the USDoJ, the second-place district--Maryland--had 58 convictions and 3rd place--Eastern Virginia--had 57. Pikers! Even adding up their scurrilous crimes We got them beat 130-115! ¡Yo Soy Boricua Pa' Que Tú Lo Sepas!

Another point of putrefied pride for Us: since 2002, only two times has a district reached the triple-digit level in convictions for one year. And yes, you guessed it! We won that too! In 2002, We got Our asses nailed 101 times, a veritable "leap to another level" that took Us years to surpass. But it did set the bar out of reach for anyone but Us.

Oh, and statehooders? Don't go crowing that that happened during Sila "Quitter" Calderón's (partial)administration and that it means populares were getting nailed. Do a little research (have your dog teach you how) and you'll find that was the year of the Stupid Rosselló "Cavalcade of Criminals." Funny how you forgot that, isn't it? Even your dog is laughing at you.

Now, Let's stop looking at the past and look to the future. We can't rest on Our latrines, so We have to find a new goal. If We take the conviction rate by state-level instead of districts, We learn that since 2002, California has been killing Us 665-396, Texas is clobbering Us 635-396, Florida's walloping Us 618-396, New York's winning 553-396, Pennsylvania outscores Us 518-396, Illinois is handing Us Our hats 490-396, Ohio's outpacing Us 475-396, New Jersey (New Jersey!) is ahead 429-396 and Louisiana just clipped Us at the finish 403-396. Damn.

We can't allow that to continue. You mean to tell Me We're getting outscored by the alien likes of California, the wrinkly geezers in Florida, lowbrow guidos from New Jersey and mossy swamp critters from Louisiana? No señor.

So do We focus on sheer numbers? Well, We do have two 100+ years under Our corrupt belts, so We can certainly crank out several more and leave them all in the dust. But that would be asking so much more of Our disgusting vermin, part of a dwindling population of roughly 3.7 million, to take on the likes of the 7 most-populous states and 2 outliars--I mean, outliers.

Based on population, here are the convictions-per-residents of the Top 10 Corruption Bungholes:

California: 1-in-56,030
Texas: 1-in-39,528
Florida: 1-in-30,421
New York: 1-in-35,081
Pennsylvania: 1-in-24,517
Illinois: 1-in-26,122
Ohio: 1-in-24,421
New Jersey: 1-in-20,513
Louisiana: 1-in-11,166
PUERTO RICO: 1-in-9,343

Oh yeah! Number One, Baby! ¡Yo Soy Boricua Pa' Que Tú Lo Sepas! Here's the thing: with a proven performance level of 130 a year, or even staying at Our Top 2 Years' Average of 115.5, We can surpass California's mush-headed amateurs just by staying at Our current level of public thievery, fraud, graft and malfeasance! Hell, We can even drop 30% off Our current pace and still kick California's New Age smoking, plastic surgery-infested, techno-babble roulette-poking ass from here to Canada.

Why? Because We got the putrid talent and have yet to tap into the 1-in-5,000 range, where Our numbers would jump to levels that not even the U.S. of part of A. Congress could ever hope to match (unless every member were Republican, but in that case, they'd steal from each other.)

And speaking of Our numbers and where they come from, here's a list of highly-questionable contracts, breaching ethics, nepotism, legality and common sense, that are part of this (non)administration within the legislative assembly. Let Me point out that at the bottom of the list (literally) is one Christian "Chemito El Pendejito" Soto, son of a mayor and brother of a senator, who was """earning"""" $3,000 (more than twice Our average income per capita) as an """advisor""" to a security commission. "Was," because he was arrested for selling drugs and will apparently plead guilty.

In another related story, a senate employee working with senate president Thomas "Mad Dog" Rivera was arrested for--uh-huh--selling drugs. Funny how this time, the "Mad Dog" ain't barking...

So you see, My Brethren, We are definitely on the right path to not only hold on to the Annual #1 Bunghole of Public Corruption Award, We are setting the stage to take over the Bunghole of the Decade Leaden Shaft from those addle-headed twinkies in California.

Oh yeah. ¡Yo Soy Boricua Pa' Que Tú Lo Sepas!




The Jenius Has Spoken.

Vote Or Shut Up...Not

Through some concatenation of idiocy, composed of 34% stupidity, 18% ignorance, 22% illogic and 26% moral turpitude, a campaign was launched that told Us--straight up--to "Vota o Quédate Callao"--"Vote or Shut Up."

Do tell.

Actually, a truer translation would be "Vote or Keep Quiet," but the sentiment of "Shut Up" is clearly indicated and shoved down Our throats. I won't forget that in My response.

The problem with this kind of campaign is that it uses a very Republican (as in "GOP") technique--gross oversimplification--to create a false dichotomy, an unrealistic "black or white" option set. Gross oversimplification does to rational arguments what performing brain surgery with a golf club does, so it's up to Us to set the record straight.

First: Voting is a right. It might actually be a duty, but it is defined as a right and as such, a person has the option to decline to use it. One can abstain from voting and that in itself is a decision within the parameters of a democratic process.

Second: Voting and "speaking up " are two different rights. The idea that one's right to free speech, to lob verbal grenades at the rotting vermin We elect and the ugly-ass problems they don't solve and actually create, is inextricably linked to voting is beyond ludicrous: it is criminally stupid.

Let's see if the "logical" structure holds up: Vote or lose your property. You have the right to property, so connect voting to property and We can turn the next election into an eminent domain orgy! There is no logic or rational connection in "vote or shut up," but that hasn't stopped these brain-dead pigs from squealing it over and over again.

Third: "Speaking up" will happen anyway. The notion that by not voting a person simply has to shut up has all the basis in reality that the Book of Mormon has (and no, I don't mean the Tony Award-winning musical.) Even if a person doesn't actually think the very flawed premise through, they will grasp that (A) Who will know if I voted or not? [more on this point below] and (B) Who's going to make Me shut up?

Expanding point A, yes, there is a record of who voted. But who knows if vociferous citizen The Jenius (for example) voted in 2012? And will they be around every time I bitch-slap ignorance and thievery to scream "He didn't vote!"?

No.

The underlying message of this campaign is not a reinforcement of democracy. It isn't meant to build awareness of a citizen's rights and the power/responsibility duet they represent. Uh-uh. The purpose of this campaign is to continue to imply that the power is not Ours: it's theirs. "Theirs" being the people We elect, the people We vote for, the people who are fucking supposed to WORK FOR US.

Any wonder the whole false dichotomy/rancid pig squeal campaign has the support of every local party, also known as "Tweedledumb, Tweedledumber and the 4 Mental & Moral Dwarfs"?

And because you simply have to talk back to these pig squealers in a way their microscopic proto-brains can understand, here's My response to "Vota o Quédate Callao": Mámenmelo y Quédense Callaos.



The Jenius Has Spoken.