21 November 2005

Some Acid Remarks

Be still My beating heart!

The headline in today's El Nuevo Día reads "Legislature Considered Sterile." Hallelujah! THAT should put an end to The Fools in the next generation! Yeah, bay-bee!

Turns out they were referring to the utter lack of achievement of the legislature (who will remain without a capital letter until Hell Freezes Over.) But it does give Me room to ponder...

Sterilization of The Fools would be an excellent solution. These parasites can be eliminated in one generation if We simply follow this path. Now in the spirit of The Fools' pattern of "getting things done," the sterilization can be offered as a voluntary action, but then imposed by force, preferably in the middle of the night and with as little fanfare as possible...the same way The Fools passed their last salary raise.

If sterilization doesn't fly--sort of like unicamerality: all lip, no muscle--We can try euthanasia. Start with the ones who miss the most days of "work" or who call more than one press conference a fortnight. Given their mental acumen, the lesson might actually sink in before We have to put them all to sleep. (Though My suggestion is We continue the euthanasia program anyway...just to make sure they learn.)

Why in the name of Thomas Edison's right butt cheek are We paying at least $39.95 a month for Verizon's pukey DSL service when that over-inflated comatose collection of blubberheads is touting the same service for $14.95 in the States?

Because Verizon is a de facto monopoly here and like all monopolies in a capitalist society, it gains that position, and retains it, because the government does the dirty work. Tell Me this isn't a case where money changes hands with crackhouse intensity, but with lesser morals.

Verizon, along with El Nuevo Día and Banco Popular, has long been on The Jenius' List of "Three Biggest Corporate Obstacles Puerto Rico Has." It is almost impossible to attain the position We believe Puerto Rico can achieve on a global marketplace with Verizon hogging bandwidth like a fat slut with a TV dinner. When the day comes that Verizon has to tuck tail and slime away, We will see a period of real growth. Until then, We will continue to overpay for being underserved--with Verizon, The Fools, the List and a double handful of others whose time will also come.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

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