13 August 2007

A Brief Educational Observation

My son is a 61-pound second grader.

His book bag--when fully loaded with the school's required texts, notebooks and paraphernalia-- weighs 37 pounds

Thirty-seven pounds.

The book bag is more accurately described as a rolling monstrosity for it is essentially a piece of luggage, just bigger than carry-on, and it is but one of dozens clack-clattering along the hallways and sidewalks of the school. A school with staircases. And narrow doors.

So here's My point: Is the new educational system (hahahahahahahahahaha) (Sorry, I just had to laugh...) based on having students carry 60% of their body weight to fully participate in the learning (hahahahahahahaha) (Ditto...) experience?

If that is so, then We have a truly winning combination. As the tide of overweight adults and children increases, We have a way to force them to exercise their flabby selves into shape. Hefty smart students and fat dumb ones would both benefit from this amazing insight into Mens sana in corpore sano...though the dumb ones would still fail at the mens part.

The skinny nerdy ones (like The Jenius) would benefit from not only smashing grade curves and ruining teacher dispositions but also by being able to flaunt a lightweight book bag. It might even be, forsooth, something as wispy as a briefcase, a jaunty statement that would combine intellectual arrogance with "I'm no beast of burden" joie de vivre.

And what about the skinny dumb ones, who would neither benefit from the new educational (hahahahaha) system and its benefits (hahahahahaha) of mind- and body-building? Why, We let them grow up to run for governor of Puerto Rico.

Just like We do now.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

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