05 August 2009

NuYorican = Self-Hate

As for My post about quipping My way into having a knife pulled on Me, some apropos thoughts.

--Prometeo (in the comments) said I'd played it well; so did the guys who tried to identify the shouting coward. But there's a small part of Me that thinks I pushed too far. And a larger part of Me that thinks I didn't say enough afterward. That second part gets its second chance here.

--What pissed me off about the guy was his total--his utterly complete--lack of self-knowledge. He is a Puerto Rican, by birth and/or ancestry, and yet he believes, to the extent of acting out in public, that he is superior to being Puerto Rican, to being what he is. That's insane. And idiotic.

Now granted, We all feel superior to some other people; it's a natural human reaction based on competitiveness. Some do it by calling themselves Jeniuses, others "preppy" and the more deluded ones "Republicans." Or "Democrats." (Two sides of the same scarred coin.) Hell, I grew up in the South and many people there have the asinine illusion that their skin color makes them superior to others. But rarely, if ever, do you encounter someone who IS EXACTLY what he feels superior to.

Here We have a Puerto Rican, carrying a knife, to "protect" himself from Puerto Ricans who are "fucking stupid" enough to act exactly as he did. Here's My solution: He should, as soon as possible, stab himself. Twice.

--The "NuYorican" self-hate attitude that Prometeo also noted has long chafed My scrotum, for it can be encapsulated as "Everything in the States is better than Puerto Rico, including me because I live/used to live there." Here's a newsflash, punks: You are the very proof that you are wrong.

Many NuYoricans are infamous for being practically illiterate in two languages; so much for the "better educated" rant. Many NuYoricans are notorious for saying they make more money than locals, but they pay more in taxes and live marginally or lie about it and make less, seeing as how they rely more on welfare that most of Us do (check this out). And many NuYoricans profess to hate Puerto Rico and its people, but when given the chance to go anywhere in the world, where do they go? 

Now most of these cretins say they visit Puerto Rico because this is where their family is, often with an extra "They can't afford to travel to the States" snideness tossed in. Bullshit. You don't come here to be with your family, or at least to share positively with them, you scummy NuYorican (oh yeah, I went there): you come here to try to feel superior for the shitty life you lead every day. And because you're too pathetic and sorry to go anywhere else.

I'm not sure why your life is shitty, but I can point to your attitude and say "There's part of your problem." Yes, the States are bigger. Yes, there's more money in that economy. Yes, there's more of everything over there. But that means nothing unless you feel worthy and you NuYoricans obviously don't.

And here's the proof, you crap-brained hypocrites: You despise what you are by viciously denying who and what you are. If you had any shred of self-respect and self-esteem, you wouldn't ever feel the need to do that.

Obviously, even in My post, not all New York Puerto Ricans are NuYoricans. But as a sub-species of Jibarus portorricensis, of the Puerto Rican brethren I belong to, NuYoricans are the ugly retarded cousins that should be kept in the back room.

Oh yeah, I went there again.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

 

4 comments:

Antigonum Cajan said...

Sorry Gil, for my previous
thoughts.After reading this
I am a convert you are a
GENIUS!
The great thing about reading
is finding someone
capable of expressing
much better than one could
a great feeling of scorn
toward people, behavior
you have hit the head, actually
sank it deeply, of the nail.
Scum bags of neoyoricans!

James said...

From the New York Puerto Ricans I have known, I sense in them a deep sense of disappointment and betrayal. They grew up in New York, perhaps speaking marginal Spanish at home (but never receiving Spanish education), spent all their time being a minority, a poor minority with all the prejudice that goes with it, but, and this is the key - through it all they were told that they were Puerto Rican, that they should be proud of their heritage. They wore it on their sleeves through the parades, the flags, and the boricua-ness which only can be understood within the confines of an urban getto community. In their marginalization by the larger culture they retreated into their own imaginary Puerto Rican identity now in its second generation abroad.

"Ah," they say, "Puerto Rico is my home, my heart, my soul, where I am from. Look, Mami makes acapurrias. I ate piñón once. Look, I speak Spanish. I have a flag on my rear view mirror. I support an independent Puerto Rico. Viva Puerto Rico!" It is an idealized notion separated by thousands of miles and decades of time.

From a lifetime of having to speak out, to act out because of injustice and marginalization, they have developed a gruff voice, the harsh strident voice of the oppressed ready to see and combat any slight at any moment - at all moments. They come here only to find that people don't raise their voices to get what they want. People are quiet. They work around things. They use la indirecta, and they stab you in the back - but quietly.

New York Puerto Ricans come here, and what do they get?

Culture shock.

It is not what they expected. They are not accepted as they thought they should be. Their culture is distinct from that of the Island. They may as well be gringos with a twist. The difference, though, is that the gringo expects it. The Puerto Rican from New York thinks he was going home. But this is not home.

And therein lies the anger, the disappointment, the powerlessness, and the deeply troubled heart of someone who doesn't belong anywhere, who thought he was home and found out that he was a foreigner.

My best advice to a New York Puerto Rican would be: come to Puerto Rico as if you were that foreigner, with no expectations, no pre-conceptions, and with humility to learn the things that were lost, and to unlearn some of things you have.

For me, I know where I don't fit in. I know were my baggage is. I'm not so sure New York Puerto Ricans consider enough their own baggage.

Gil C. Schmidt said...

James, you have shown a level of understanding and compassion that I obviously don't have or feel; more power to you. I pretty much went darkside on this sub-sub-segment of Puerto Ricans, but you shed more light on them.

Gabriel said...

Glad you didn't became a Primera Hora subject.
James, great comments. A huge segment of my family would relate to you thoughts about ethnic Boricuas.
There are asshole on both sides of the Atlantic.
Don't know if it was conscious or not but even when, you went "dark side" you ended on a positive note. Awesome.