14 August 2009

Fire The Larva

Why don't We just go ahead and save tax money right now by firing The Larva?

The Larva, once known as (non)governor Luis Fortuño, is to leadership what moldy spam is to French haute cuisine. In the latest debacle of no-notochordness, senate president (no, no capital letters, for they imply respect) Thomas "Tantrum" Rivera barks gleefully that he got the Secretary of Health fired because the Secretary refused to stop performing operations.

Okay, first things first. The Secretary of Health, Dr. Iván González, came into the fray after Tantrum had shoved The Larva's original Health nominee off the negotiation table and force-crammed a doddering Fool into the Education seat. Dr. González also had to deal with the Keystone Kops kaos of a potential near-epidemic almost happening on the Island, amidst the media cretins and political cretins acting like...cretins.

But in that maelström, Dr. González continued to perform operations and when asked/told to cut that out (heeheehee), he said "no." For that--according to Tantrum--Dr. González was essentially fired. By Tantrum. He says.

In the abstract, was that the right move? Yes it was. Regardless of how good Dr. González is as a surgeon--and by all accounts, he definitely is--his primary role as Secretary of Health is to manage the Health Department. His primary responsibility is to every person on the Island, not to one on an operating table. By refusing to do his new job right, Dr. González set himself up for getting canned.

But by his boss, not by a wannabe boss acting like a rabid chimp.

Now Dr. González has spoken out about "political espionage" and "corruption" running rampant in the Health Department as Fools angle to get their hands on serious chunks of the $1 billion ARRA funds targeted for that department. So adamant and eloquent were the salvos that The Larva "reassigned" Public Policy personnel close to him to avoid their having contact with Health-related issues.


Look, over at (mis)Education, secretary (no capital letters again) Carlos "Karl Rove Was My Sweetheart" Chardón is the proverbial elephant on a string, balancing long enough to make the entrance of a new department (bone)head--this time from the private sector or directly related to the private sector--a smooth transition. Almost 200 schools have yet to open, Helen Keller as a child could match the total reported output of the latest Puerto Rico Aptitude Test results and cronyism/corruption is making federal antenna twitch too close to home...way too close to home. Is this leadership?

No Health Secretary--again--and an Education secretary on his way out, not to mention that a senate president is acting like a governor 3 years before that personal ambition can be formally realized. So why keep The Larva?

We obviosuly don't need him. We have plenty of Fools to screw Us over and up and sideways and three ways 'til Sunday, so why not save the moola We waste on The Larva? It's not like We'd miss him, either, as he seems to have perfected the "blend into the background" insipidness of his döppelganger Waldo. (I'm into umlauts today.)

We can let Tantrum chase his tail, bark crazily, pee the couch leg and sniff other butts to his wee heart's content while keeping an eye out for Jenniffer "Gluttonny" González as her "Amazon Juggernaut of Alternative Lifestyle Steamroller Tour" gathers, uh, steam, just as easily as We can continue to ignore The Larva and his wimpyness. 

Times are rough now, man, so any money We can save is a good thing. It's the right thing to do. You know it. I know it. Let's make them know it.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

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