15 February 2012

Colonialism? Let's Keep It!

Jenial Friend Kevin Shockey, over at Dondequiera, touched on this topic as I was developing this post... Great minds do think alike.

In short, for the upcoming "status plebiscite," scheduled to be voted on the same day as the 2012 general elections (My take on that timing here), the Popular Democratic Party--neither one nor the other nor the other--have decided that they will make no changes in their definition of the commonwealth status that has shackled Puerto Rico since July 25, 1952.

Yes, I said "shackled."

Big deal, right? Okay, add this: the PDP has been pushing for "enhanced commonwealth" since the mid-1970s, primarily under the banner of 3-time governor Rafael "Spain Is My True Home" Hernández Colón (I toss in the matronymic to avoid confusion with the truly-talented composer born where I was born). Good old Rafito even went so far as to seclude himself in various favored locations (nearly all outside of Puerto Rico) to develop his "New Thesis," where he would once and for all define "enhanced commonwealth" in a vision so pure and perfect that rocks would weep and birds would be stunned in mid-air.

"Enhanced commonwealth"? HAHAHAahahahacolony
Or maybe it was "birds would weep and rocks would be stunned in mid-air"?

No matter. What did Rafitito come up with for his "New Thesis," to boldly advance commonwealth to launch a new Puerto Rico? Some 400+ pages that amounted to "Give Us more money and more autonomy and We'll do nothing in exchange."

"Enhanced" commonwealth, a.k.a, a whiny brat puling for more and offering less.

Since the Rafititito fiasco, the discussion about "enhanced commonwealth" is like trying to dissect the magic system in the world of Harry Potter: it all sounds stupid because the magic works. But the analogy breaks down because unlike Harry's magic, commonwealth doesn't work. And enhanced commonwealth is an even bigger fantasy than Hogwarts.

We are a colony. Dress up the word with the longer "commonwealth," We are still a colony. The most basic definition says that a colony sends raw materials as exports and receives finished goods as imports, with the requirement that both imprts and exports are controlled by another nation.


So the PDP, with four decades plus of sniveling smarmy lip service to a colonial status and even smarmier fetid verbal diarrhea about "enhancing" it, when faced with the opportunity--or requirement--to put their definition where their money is, have """opted""" for a gutless "The usual, not shaken, not stirred."


In 1997, the PDP used a tactical error in the plebiscite set-up to push the idea of voting for "None of the above," and succeeded in exposing the mockery these "electoral" events really are. But this time, there was no wriggle room: the parties themselves got to define their status offers. And this time, what's being exposed is that the PDP has nothing.

Nothing. Not a damn thing.

Call it political bankruptcy, or moral bankruptcy, the reality remains that the PDP and its commonwealth status are empty shells. The status is colonial. Period. The commonwealth party has no solution to offer. Period.

And to top it off, the plebiscite means nothing whatsoever for it is as binding as invoking any of Harry Potter's spells to change Our status.

Welcome to the slow-motion train wreck of Puerto Rico politics, 2012 edition.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

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