33.1% Statehood = Nothing

Yeah, some people won, some people lost in yesterday's elections. Big boo-hoo either way because the system--like Our economy--is broke, so We end up picking dregs no matter who We choose.

The news aside from parasites was that in the two-tiered Yes/No """status""" plebiscite, the current status was "ejected" by 54% of the voters, leading to a second result where statehood was "selected" by 61.3% of those same voters. (Numbers still not official.)

Seeing as The Larva was fired and the statehood party was dumped from several major positions, their lame-brained focus will be on how statehood "won" the plebiscite. Two objections make this a """win""" rather than a "win", and in the Jenius' Thesaurus, based on hard-nosed objectivity, a """win""" is exactly a loss.

First objection: The numbers say statehood is a minority position. Do the math. No, really, do it. At the first level, Yes or No, the rejection of the current status gained 54% of the vote. A majority, indeed, but not a super-majority. From that 54%, some 61.3% chose statehood as their preferred new status. Woo. And hoo. What it really means is that 33.1% of Our voters support statehood: 54 x 61.3 = 33.1%.

There's no other way to look at it. Screw around all you like with that 61.3%, but that number won't fly: the number that will is 33%. Guaranteed.

Second objection: This plebiscite--like the others--was non-binding. Hey! Let's hold a beauty pageant and count the votes and then give no prizes! Yay! Only instead of a beauty pageant, We get a freak show that even P.T. Barnum would have blanched at selling more than once. In a desperate move to bolster his precarious position, The Larva came up with this scheme, hoping the statehood vote in the plebiscite would spill over to the general vote and give him four more years to (non)govern.

Didn't work. He was fired anyway and may have done more harm to the silly statehood whining than any of his predecessors. All in all, a very typical Larva sequence.

There are two more takeaways from this pathetic plebiscite that, in fact, carry more weight, but are bound to get short shrift:

1) The "commonwealth myth" is dead. The idea, the very very stupid idea, that Our current status is "dignified" and "worthy" is dead. It was fatally wounded in the 1980s and lingered like a brainless cockroach until yesterday, when the open rejection of it was made manifest. We are a colony, plain and simple, and the commonwealth status We have makes Us so. To state otherwise is to be dumber than flat-earthers who believe in creationism... and there's already way too many of those idiots around.

2) When it comes to independence, We are tit-sucking toddlers. I used to say We were teenagers, but the fact is that Our reaction to standing on Our own two feet and tackling the world on Our terms is exactly that of terrified toddlers who haven't learned to walk and are still sucking tit. Only Uncle Sam's tits don't give milk, so I can tell you exactly what body part of Uncle Sam's body We suck to make him and Us happy.

That's why the 33.1% """statehood support""" number equals nothing. We still suck Uncle Sam's co--congressional funding, incapable of believing in Ourselves, unable to muster the integrity to stand up to him and say "Screw you, I'm doing this My way," oblivious to the 114-year-and-counting message of "We don't want you" and playing little plebiscite games to amuse the masses while the parasites suck Us dry.

It may be "Our national sport," but We suck at politics because We suck at being adults in politics. At its most base, at its worst, politics is about greed and power-mongering. That's where We live, like pigs in shit. The highest level in politics is nation-building, the forging of a stronger future for almost everyone. We simply never get there. Never have, and based on the miserable moronic plebiscite vote, We never will.

Bring on Larva Lite and his parasites. The loathsome cycle of Our national Special Olympics for scared babies is about to begin again.



The Jenius Has Spoken.


[Update: 8 Nov 2012: From ABC News, a clear-eyed look at the blatant lie that is "statehood won", as propagated by Liars Central, a.k.a., the statehood party. And for a revealing discussion that (a) predicted this report and (b) reveals how My post and its reactions gave context to My writing and the plebiscite's results, check out the Comments section. Yeah, We're on it.]

[Update: 16 Nov 2012: Three more analyses, one of which, surprisingly, barely even bothers to look at the issue. The superficial one is from the otherwise reliable Economist. A deep dissection smack-down of the numbers comes from the Movimiento Independentista Nacional Hostosiano (better English users than the statehood party...by far) and the third from ProEnglish, calling the vote "rigged." Discuss amongst yourselves.]