Stupid Write-In?

I chuckle.

Supporters of Pedro Stupid Rosselló, former governor, megalomaniac-in-exile and primary candidate (but not running) for "A Better Abetter", are making loud halitosis-laden shouts threatening to write-in their faux-lacious leader as a gubernatorial candidate in November.

I'm a big fan of write-in votes, having voted in 2004 for SpongeBob Squarepants instead of Aníbal "Jellyfish" Acevedo or the aforementioned Stupid. Some people tell Me that I "wasted" My vote, as if the act of actually voting can be construed as "not happening." Logically impossible. So, moot.

I didn't waste My vote because I sincerely believe that voting for a squeaky-voiced cartoon character was easily a better choice than voting for a real dweeb or a true jerk. And yes, there was an independentista running, but I don't see the point in voting for a ghost.

The way things work out in Our electoral process, you aren't voting for a person, you're voting for some vague concept, a spin-packaged, over-hyped collection of fuzzy dots under an umbrella that (in Our case) screeches "No self-respect!" for assimilation or "No dignity!" for the status quo. (Or "Help me keep my free government money!" in the case of independentistas.) These amorphous collections will say anything to gain attention, with the exception of lacerating their own umbrella stance.

So you have ultimately unreal people espousing an unreal worldview, believing despite accumulated evidence that they can actually get something done, hungering for attention and striving mightily to earn it. And this makes them different from SpongeBob Squarepants--how?

SpongeBob actualy has three advantages over the "Jellyfish," Stupid, ghost and idiot that run in November:

1) He's got more charisma than all of them put together and tripled in a Charisma Box.

2) He works hard and loves his work for its own sake, not for what it pays or he can graft.

3) SpongeBob is a true optimist, who sees silver linings and good things in everything and everyone and refuses to give up any effort to do good.

Who would you rather support?

I am inclined to vote for SpongeBob again. And the fact that I cast a vote in 2004 for a cartoon character and will do so again with all seriousness in 2008 can not be construed as "wasted" votes. No such thing. My votes are the pencil-scratched, shorthand version of "I think you're all useless and I deserve better."


The Jenius Has Spoken.