31 March 2008

Pointing in Reflection

This won't take long...

A recent local newspaper article blamed most, if not all, of all Our social ills on the government.

Now, really.

It's obvious that I am not the local government's rah-rah boy, but to say that most of Our failings are due to those Fools is to be willfully oblivious to three simple, undeniable facts:

A) We elect most of the Fools and of those who retain their positions after proving themselves unworthy, all of them are there because of Us.

B) Government represents a minority of Us, both in number and in fact. There are more people outside of the government than in and the Fools speak for a minority of special and personal interests, not for a majority. That they get away with it consistently is Our fault.

C) Paraphrasing, the government can only help those who help themselves, who take a proactive interest in building beyond nearsightedness, greed and convenience. Letting the government run things amidst a wave of indifference is like letting monkeys run a china shop: It's only a matter of time before they break everything and bankrupt the place.

Although asking the media to see a larger context is a waste of time, I will suggest this: Blame the government, sure, but leave a good chunk of that blame for the rest of Us. And that, you clueless weasels of paper and airwaves, includes you.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

28 March 2008

Busted Jellyfish

* Governor Aníbal "Busted Jellyfish" Acevedo is rung up on 19 federal charges, including campaign fund fraud, tax fraud and perjury. Reports are that he (allegedly, ho-hum) pocketed campaign monies, even to the extent of taking trips with his family with those funds.

* The local F.B.I. office and lead prosecutor put on a 25-minute display of evidence, tracing people, actions, funds and possible crimes across several states and over a 7-year period.

* For the first time in Our history, a governor is brought up on criminal charges. Should have happened sooner, but what the heck, better late than never, right?

* One of the arrested, Miguel "I Am Not Guilty" Nazario, is a former Ponce Cement and El Nuevo Día executive. Both companies are owned by the Ferré Rangel cartel and guess which leading local newspaper did NOT mention this?

* The initial talk after the early morning arrests was that the governor's lawyers were "negotiating his surrender/arrest." Bullpuckey. Arrests are non-negotiable. What was being negotiated was his possible sentence IF he loses his case. (I say "if" only out of courtesy.)

* Federal Grand Jury conviction rates run at about 97%. Place your bets now.

* The Busted Jellyfish's choices on how to face this crisis boiled down to two options: Lead or play victim. By 11 a.m. local time, We knew the answer: He was wailing "political persecution."

* That the murderous moron and his addled cronies have made a mockery of the U.S. justice system is beyond debate. That Busted Jellyfish is sooo important a target--even to the idea that in persecuting him they are somehow "attacking" Sen. Barack Obama--is sooo laughable as to be nitrous oxide.

* I'll simplify for the party faithful: No, it isn't political persecution.

* Caguas Mayor Willie "Money Market" Miranda quickly staked out his political position as "Loyal soldier ready to carry the standard." In real-world terms: crafty weasel.

* The (Un)Popular (Anti)Democratic Wake--er, Party--went with "The Battle for (to defend)  Puerto Rico" ("dar la batalla por Puerto Rico") spinning the Busted Jellyfish's idiocy into some heroic fight for a dignity the party itself doesn't have.

* The opponents took a high road laced with contempt. Stupidest rumor: That Pedro Stupid Rosselló knew the charges were coming and "deliberately" lost the primary. Yeah, and Moses won the Kentucky Derby running backwards. Stupid Rosselló doesn't know squat about the case and if he did know, his best strategy was clearly to run, kick the stuffing out of Luis "Waldo Boy" Fortuño and thus become the prohibitive front-runner for governor in November.

* Really, really pissed off by the charges: The independentista "leadership", who given the wide-open nature of the upcoming election, are now forced to spend an extra wad of money in ads and "electoral efforts." Hey! That cuts into their profits!

* The evening appearance by the Busted Jellyfish was his moment of truth. It was a moment. He had no truth to offer. He opened with "It's a weak economy" followed by a weak "I'm the victim of political persecution" and closed 3 minutes later with a weak "I will continue to lead you." Wake up call, Fool: You have never led us, except to shame.

* A long time ago I wrote that these Fools take the position of "I'm innocent because I stay in my position." Busted Jellyfish, who isn't resigning immediately, is adopting the same cretinous pose.

* Most people opine that the Busted One should resign "to best manage his defense," "for the welfare of his family" or "for the good of Our Island." Here's a reason: He should resign because he has been formally accused of crimes. Sure, there's the presumption of innocence. But there's also the assumption that Our leaders should be law-abiding. To consider his defense a distraction is fatuous: The Busted Jellyfish was never any good at doing his supposed job, anyway. To say he should think of his family is to ignore the evidence that he (allegedly, ho-hum) did these things without considering his family's ultimate welfare. And to ask a Busted Jellyfish, or any Fool, to think of the country before him- or herself is to ask a dungheap to whistle Beethoven's Ninth.

* Why the Jellyfish and not Stupid Rosselló? The difference between a bank robber and a drug lord. The bank robber directly touches the money; the drug lord has other people touch all the money and lets them develop his interests. He gives them initial access, short-term protection and thus a chance to make a ton of dough--his way. And when these patsies fall, there is no evidence that leads to the drug lord's doorstep. 

* Now what? Don't expect impeachment to make much headway. Expect the Federal agencies involved to apply the pressure with additional arrests, charges and dark hints. Expect the net of this multi-tiered investigation to be cast wider, aiming at businesses in the States and in Puerto Rico. Expect vapid doodyheads of all party stripes to blahblahblah as if they were paid by the syllable. Expect a leading local newspaper to drop a bombshell announcement about itself soon. And expect the local elections to become a veritable chicken coop of totally-useless actions that ultimately leave everything pretty much the same.

And expect the Busted Jellyfish to lose his case.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

26 March 2008

Walrus Spam

Have you ever done something out of a personal sense of enlightenment, only to have it backfire and make you wish you'd never ever ever seen the light?

It's called "No good deed goes unpunished" in some circles, and in My own personal Circle of Hell it's called the Sierra Club.

Local chapter. Number 666, I believe.

Several months ago, I decided that My consciousness could use a lift and filled out a form to receive e-mail on environmental issues from the Sierra Club.

Some of you are smirking already. Shut up.

Though the environment is not in My Top 10 Life Concerns, I was aware of some of the Sierra Club's activities around Our Island and thought that learning something new would ultimately benefit Me. (Because it's all about Me, really.)

The first message came in and I...deleted it. The Subject line was about a meeting in Fajardo and I live in Cabo Rojo, about a 3-4 hour drive away. Little did I know that the simple push of the Delete key would become a carpal tunnel workout of (Mr.) Olympia(n) proportions.

I'll cut to the chase: I am being electronically hammered by dozens of messages from the uninhibited zealots of the Sierra Club. Rain forest, mangroves, condominium construction impact, cats, dogs, monkeys, legislation (Notice the segue from simple primates to political processes...), roadways, power plants, windmills, biking, factories, zero emission vehicles, water quality... A veritable glossary of topics that in some way are related to the environment and are mass-mailed in ways that attract the mindless interest of anybody's spam churner.

For you see, the dozens of Sierra Club interruptions are now the beachheads for hundreds of spam messages. My Trash file went from 10-15 spams a day to 100-125 a day, and lest you say it's because I live on the damn Web (Not true, but close enough...now shut up) allow Me to point out that (A) I've been doing this for 14 years, (B) I've never been spammed to this degree EVER and (C) This account I've used since 2004 has only had one new e-mailer added to it in the past year: the Sierra Club.

Now maybe it's not entirely the Sierra Club's fault, but in many ways, it is. Their primary means  of "getting the word out" is e-mail, therefore it behooves them to learn to use it well. I get Sierra Club-endorsed e-mails from a local walrus of a weather-woman with an alcoholic past. Does she have a license to drive My Inbox batty, a license ostensibly granted by the Sierra Club? If she (very debatably) does, then it's up to the Sierra Club to deal with My current disdain for their effort and learn to manage their messaging properly.

Maybe if I convince them that the Internet is an environment and that they are...polluting...it, maybe they'll get the message. And maybe they'll get that walrus off My (electronic) desk.

The Jenius Has Spoken.


21 March 2008

Stupid Write-In?

I chuckle.

Supporters of Pedro Stupid Rosselló, former governor, megalomaniac-in-exile and primary candidate (but not running) for "A Better Abetter", are making loud halitosis-laden shouts threatening to write-in their faux-lacious leader as a gubernatorial candidate in November.

I'm a big fan of write-in votes, having voted in 2004 for SpongeBob Squarepants instead of Aníbal "Jellyfish" Acevedo or the aforementioned Stupid. Some people tell Me that I "wasted" My vote, as if the act of actually voting can be construed as "not happening." Logically impossible. So, moot.

I didn't waste My vote because I sincerely believe that voting for a squeaky-voiced cartoon character was easily a better choice than voting for a real dweeb or a true jerk. And yes, there was an independentista running, but I don't see the point in voting for a ghost.

The way things work out in Our electoral process, you aren't voting for a person, you're voting for some vague concept, a spin-packaged, over-hyped collection of fuzzy dots under an umbrella that (in Our case) screeches "No self-respect!" for assimilation or "No dignity!" for the status quo. (Or "Help me keep my free government money!" in the case of independentistas.) These amorphous collections will say anything to gain attention, with the exception of lacerating their own umbrella stance.

So you have ultimately unreal people espousing an unreal worldview, believing despite accumulated evidence that they can actually get something done, hungering for attention and striving mightily to earn it. And this makes them different from SpongeBob Squarepants--how?

SpongeBob actualy has three advantages over the "Jellyfish," Stupid, ghost and idiot that run in November:

1) He's got more charisma than all of them put together and tripled in a Charisma Box.

2) He works hard and loves his work for its own sake, not for what it pays or he can graft.

3) SpongeBob is a true optimist, who sees silver linings and good things in everything and everyone and refuses to give up any effort to do good.

Who would you rather support?

I am inclined to vote for SpongeBob again. And the fact that I cast a vote in 2004 for a cartoon character and will do so again with all seriousness in 2008 can not be construed as "wasted" votes. No such thing. My votes are the pencil-scratched, shorthand version of "I think you're all useless and I deserve better."

The Jenius Has Spoken.

19 March 2008

Simple Economic Remedy

This is simple: Change Puerto Rico's tax structure to favor job creation over profit-based credits.

In any system, what you reward and what you punish determine the actual outputs. It doesn't matter why you created the system or what goals the system may have explicitly: The gain/pain ratios will ultimately--and unfailingly--create the end results.

For over 50 years, Puerto Rico's "new" economic structure was based on tax credits that sheltered profits. At first, there was this "idea" that the profits would be reinvested in the Island itself, but in practice, profits became the golden pea in an elaborate shell game wherein Our economy ended up with the same sucking sound of money whooshing away as it had back in the early 1900s.

The problem has been ascribed to "capitalism" or "globalization," and that argument has some merit. But pointing fingers and placing blame has all the appeal of blogging in the dark, so how about We try another method?

Because the U.S. is so business-oriented and so gung-ho on making the rich richer (witness the current sub-prime mortgage market scandal and international reaction to it), why not turn Puerto Rico into an economic laboratory once again and rewrite the current incentives so that companies that operate in Puerto Rico and create more jobs receive a bonanza of incentives?

Too simple? Here's the counter-argument:

---Incentives that shelter profits have not demonstrated any real capacity for creating jobs, for the impetus favors capital over employees. Money will simply chase another tax haven instead of investing deeper.

---Puerto Rico enjoys a privileged position vis á vis the U.S. and its growing number of "free trade" agreements. Although capital is more interested in making money, if making money means creating more jobs to further penetrate the largest consumer market in the world, then that's what capital will do.

---Multinationals may continue to pursue the cheapest nation, but the larger pool of smaller companies, cash-rich and personnel poor, can then find a true win-win situation with Us: They need people, We need jobs.

---The suggested strategy recognizes openly that Puerto Rico simply cannot compete with dirt-level wages and thus, with practicality and dignity, takes matters in hand and decides to walk its own path. The "tax credits for jobs" strategy will not openly upset the mainland, for in fact, it can be easily adopted by any State brave and bold enough to buck the enormous yet fatally-flawed business interests currently manning the helm.

Rewriting the rules is part and parcel of state and national business development. The problem lies in playing the game of "I am cheaper!" to no one's benefit...except for the ones with capital. Puerto Rico can lobby to change its current stick-in-the-mud blindness for a proactive stance.

But that won't happen until 2009, at least. For now, the search for viable solutions and true progress, so long buried beneath larceny, lunacy and laziness, will remain but a hope.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

17 March 2008

Jenius Mind

Several times a week, I think of some topic I want to drop into these--er--pages and when it comes time to sit here and write them out, they simply disappear like soap bubbles in a windstorm. Obviously, that doesn't stop Me from clicking away about some other topic, but I find it interesting that what seems so ennervating while driving past a panhandler is diaphonous when bathed in LCD emmissions.

Rather than blame technology, I'll just list My general thought processes as to what goes into these--er--pages and what doesn't:

1) Does it bother Me?
That's the starting point and there is no real other option. If whatever is happening out there doesn't make some sort of impression on Me, why bother writing about it? And no, it doesn't have to bother Me in a negative way, but as you can see, it tends to lean that way.

2) Does it say something about Puerto Rico?
Some things are universal, and writing about them is fine. But I write about and for Puerto Rico, so floating universality isn't My cup of tea. If some topic bothers Me enough, then I'll make it about Puerto Rico. It's My blog, after all.

3) Are there other people talking about it, and if so, in what way?
Being a Jenius, I'd rather be ahead of the curve than eating dust. But every so often, I notice that the voices are many, and they are loud, and they are wrong. At that point, I'm not eating dust: I'm taking the True Path. (Yes, it takes ego to be a Jenius.)

4) Can I let it slide?
This is a relatively new step in the process, because there was a time when this Jenius was pretty much a one-note harbinger of doom. Call it My Blue Period, if you will. No more. Some things deserve slamming, some don't. And with Stupid Rosselló retiring 2.76 hours after having defeat shoved down his throat (didn't even wave at his "district" as he flew away), there are much fewer things that I feel need a good bitch-slap.

5) Who's going to read this?
Uh-huh, the secret's out. It doesn't happen all the time, but often enough for Me to (finally) mention it. There are times when I imagine The Picky Grammar Lady reading My words, or My Special One, or even My Mom. It hardly ever changes what I write, only that I note its possible impact. On rarer occasions, I wonder what other people might think, but I've never changed a word for them. And once I thought a while about what Global Voices might do with one of My posts. Didn't matter: It wasn't picked up.

6) Would I read it?
The last and pretty much the key point. I make no bones about the fact that this blog starts and ends with Me: My interests, My opinions, My angles, My feelings. But let's be honest here: If even I wouldn't read something I wrote, why should anyone else? Maybe I err on the side of writing for too small an audience (I am a Jenius, you know), but to Me the bottom line is that I do write and that eventually, someone will read.  Although as point #5 seems to indicate, the ones I want to know read Me are enough to keep Me going.

There you have it: A window into The Jenius' mind. Please make your way to the exits. The next showing will be in 48 hours...

The Jenius Has Spoken.

14 March 2008

A Teacher Is

No, this isn't one of those smarmy lists that repeat an opening line and add treacly platitudes over and over again. This is simply a definition, a categorization of what A Teacher Is.

And it all boils down to three simple words: A Positive Example.

So for those of you who'd like a full sentence, here it is: A Teacher Is A Positive Example.

Now I'd like to point out that I use "Teacher" in reference to a person, for one can learn from many types of negative examples, and though there are tons of "negative example teachers" out there and one can learn what NOT to do from them, I prefer to focus on the positive side of things (yes, I do) and develop this definition from what a Teacher should be.

And there it is: A Positive Example. Nothing more, nothing less. In fact, the operative word there is obviously "example", for many people are (or deem themselves) positive, but restrict their positivity to mental exercises or pure convenience.

To be A Positive Example one not only has to think in positive ways, but also act in positive ways. The Teachers that change lives, that change societies, are those who merge the positive ideas and thoughts for growth with behavior and actions that build these invisible foundations into tangible results.

Therefore, a Teacher is someone who undertakes her job and career as a mission, not as a means of survival. Someone who does the right thing--especially when no one is watching--because ultimately, he himself is watching. A person who knows the hard road is almost always the only road to success. A woman who values the process for what she gives as much as for what she receives; a man who knows his responsibilities and duties go hand-in-hand at all times.

And as you can see, a Teacher could be--is--anyone, everyone, all of Us. As parents or employees, government officials or clergy, students or laborers, We all should be Teachers. We should hold Ourselves to the standard of being Positive Examples because the alternative, so often taken, leads to a dead-end for all of Us.

And lest I be accused of parading idealism like a helium float, I don't expect everyone to live up to the notion of being A Positive Example. All I'm asking is for several more of Us to do so, to lay the foundation for a little bit of growth that could help stem the tide of crass bestiality that seems to be growing, eating itself into Our society's heart from the outer fringes.

And yet again, this is not a new idea. Aristotle lambasted his fellow citizens for similar notions. In times of change, in times of confusion and chaos, it is often the Positive Example the only cornerstone of the new road to progress. The more cornerstones, the sooner We build it.

And as so often said here, A Positive Example is nothing more than a matter of...choice.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

12 March 2008

Friends In Deed

Had lunch with Gabriel Pagán, of I Can't Spell fame. (Check it out.) Gentle soul with a sharp mind. I'm sure We'll share more time and thoughts in the coming months.

Question that came up during Our lunch: What technology, if implanted quickly in widespread fashion, would have the greatest positive impact on Puerto Rico?

During that lunch, I received a phone call from a distraught friend who had just received some shattering news. In seconds, My day went from pleasant to wrathful, for what My friend was enduring was pure betrayal and I didn't want the bastard to get away with it.

However, there wasn't anything I could do, except commiserate with My friend and lend support. Facing a crunching deadline, I listened and talked and listened some more, as half an hour became an hour. When We hung up, she was emotionally spent and I was looking to chew iron.

And the deadline was still there, a couple of hours away, half My self-allotted time to get the job done already gone. Computer on, reviewing e-mail to make sure the deadline is inflexible when...

Good news. No, great news. I take a few minutes to tell it to My Special One, then start calling the people who helped Me make it to the Goal. Laughter, happy voices and the inevitable (for Me) joking around. Half an hour goes by, My deadline looming now like a cold shadow. I click off the final "We did it!" call, My mind on the deadline...

One more call. "How are you?" I ask My betrayed friend. We talk for a few minutes, the hell with the deadline, the hell with the bastard, the hell with everything except friendship. She sounds better now, has a plan, is facing up to the pain knowing the worst is yet to come.

We say goodbye. My deadline is less than an hour away. I'll have to do the whole business plan in about 50 minutes, rather than 4 hours. I've done it in 2 before...

One minute before the deadline, I hit "Send." It's done. But rather than feeling a buzz of "Yeah, baby!" in-your-face victory, I feel a deep sense of satisfaction for what I've shared. That's not My usual cup of tea, this "friends indeed"--and friends in deed--warmth. My life has been more of an internal exploration that avoided too much entanglement. And yet, it is that very same "entanglement" that made My day, from meeting an insightful fellow blogger, to shouldering part of someone's unbearable pain to spreading the joy of well-earned accomplishment.

In short, I had a day of Life, a compression of lessons about the joys and sorrows of being part of a community. I have had days that were more emotional, and days that were sharper in their sense of victory, but no day has ever blended so much. Most of My days have traces of adventure running through them; this one had rivers of Life.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

10 March 2008

Way Wrong

I saw the survey numbers and they read 55-45 for Stupid Rosselló...

I saw the primary numbers and they read 60-40 for "Jellyfish Lite" Fortuño.

I was way wrong. And yet, the end result is still a wash for Us.

First, did I mention I was wrong? In a case of "Arriving at a conclusion before all the facts are in," or "Thinking your information is better than other information", My use of a specific survey to analyze the then-pending primary led Me astray. My bad, but this same person had produced three prior surveys that were marvels of accuracy, flying in the face of "established" polls with high-powered backing. I felt I was on solid ground; turns out I was on quicksand.

Instead of challenging My survey-based conclusions, I found reasons why My conclusion should stand. "Selective" thinking may be a requirement when information is abundant (part of My daily tasks as a consultant), but it's a crapshoot when done with a scarcity of information. I rolled My dice with iffy rationale and I came up snake-eyes.

But then again, so did We. And unlike My faux pas, this crappy outcome was ordained, for no matter who won the statehood (hahahanever) party gubernatorial primary, We would still be faced with a faux choice between a dud and a dud. Makes Me shake My head and mutter "Duh."

Or maybe "Doh!"

The Jenius Has Spoken.

07 March 2008

More Pre-Primary Numbers

The projections I plopped here concerning the upcoming primaries were questioned by an occasional reader who called Me to whine, er, discuss that, in his view, Luis "Jellyfish Lite" Fortuño was going to kick Pedro Stupid Rosselló's saggy butt and that the media surveys backed him up on this.

My response: That ain't what the numbers I have say and I didn't put those numbers together. Instead of continuing to sidestep the fact that I presented the projections, I placed My own observations on the line:

---Stupid controls a sizeable majority of the party's infrastructure, from administrative staff to legislators and mayors.

---Stupid made "Jellyfish Lite" a key player by plucking him from obscurity to super-secretary status. That "Lite" muddled through without miserable failure was not seen as "Lite's" achievement, but Stupid's.

---Stupid has a track record of dubious achievement, but it is achievement, as compared to "Lite's" "wanna-be" potential.

---Stupid's stubbornness is often viewed as meaning cojones grandes, whereas "Jellyfish Lite's" more cerebral approach and demeanor are considered barely this side of gay. Who do you think the lowbrow crowd (a majority in the statehood party) will vote for?

---The media surveys are primarily led by anti-Rosselló interests, who in his knack for burning bridges, created enemies in too many places. However, the party powers have been consistently and vehemently keeping their message aimed squarely at the party core, and with the slipshod way surveys are slapped together (especially when the end result is already determined), these highly-trumpeted surveys are actually pure propaganda. 

More numbers: The predicted number of primary voters is 615,000, with Stupid getting about 346,000 votes (56.3%). Here are the projected numbers and percentages for Stupid depending on total voter turnout:

 Voters:         %  
425,000    62.9%
525,000    61.3%
593,000    56.3% 
658,000    54.9%
750,000    54.5%

And if 100% of the People of No-dignity Party vote (962,000), Stupid is projected to win with 52.4% of the vote.

Goes to show, the majority is stupid...for Stupid.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

05 March 2008

Shotgun Thoughts

---My Thanks once again to Janine Mendes-Franco for placing another of My posts in Global Voices Online.  (Although I prefer she make a bid...)

---Teacher Federation and leading numbnut Rafael "I Done Be a Teacher" Feliciano claims that the recent almost-strike "strengthened" the educational system. That's like saying that eating a bowl of raw sewage helps your digestion. And yes, the analogy directly compares "striking teachers" with "raw sewage."

---The media frenzy for the March 9th primaries is rising in pitch and--unbelievably--dropping in IQ. From rabid posturing on the part of so-called analysts who slammed Pedro Stupid Rosselló and now sense he'll win to frantic speculation that Aníbal "Jellyfish" Acevedo will be replaced at the last minute by former governor Rafael "The Faux Spaniard" Hernández Colón or Willie "Too Dark Until it's Too Late" Miranda, the media and brain-damaged blind seers have hit the proverbial wall.

---Speaking of Caguas Mayor Willie "The Say Huh? Kid", he suggests that the U.S. government take $120 billion ($6 billion annual funds transfer projected 20 years) and place it in a kind of trust for the local government to use in self-managed fashion. Pros: At a paltry 6% interest rate, the fund generates over $7 billion. Mo' money! Cons: Will be running it. (Get it? Get it?!) To put $120 billion of Uncle Sam's sinking currency in the hands of local pre-penitentiary managers is akin to burning the cash in a useless war effort: The end result is plenty of pain, no gain. Proof: $36 billion in Education funds and We trail Guam and the Marianas Islands in educational progress.

---There's a Children's Hospital in San Juan with a huge billboard advertising its newest service: Emergency Room Valet Parking. I am going to set Myself on fire. This is the kind of health care innovation We need, because God knows that every time I need an emergency room, I simply fret about the parking problem. Now I may have to carry a few spare ones in the glove compartment for proper tipping...

---Combining My new slogan for Puerto Rico with My latest Global Voices post pick-up, We can foresee a day when Our Island can raise a banner at the International Airport proudly proclaiming "Under New Management!" (Yes, I thought that one up all by Myself.)

The Jenius Has Spoken.

03 March 2008

Primary Prediction

March 9th is Primary Day here in Puerto Rico, a combination Adventist wedding and enema party hos(t)ed at Our expense. With herds of acephalic leeches running amok, there is one contest that demands a neutrino of attention: Statehood party gubernatorial candidate.

Setting aside the vapidness of the party's ideology, We can focus on the two candidates: Tweedledee, alias Luis "I Ain't Waldo" Fortuño and TweedleStupid, Pedro "Yes, Call Me Stupid" Rosselló. The difference between these two candidates can be expressed simply: One believes he has administrative ability and the other is a borderline sociopath. 

But rather than continue dissecting the putrid intellectual corpses these two dingbats almost present as "platforms," let's aim for a prediction. Courtesy of a colleague of Mine who'd rather remain anonymous (and I will try to talk him out of THAT), here are his predictions for the primary results:

---Rosselló beats Fortuño by an average margin of 14% given turnouts of between 33-100% of registered party voters. (Range of 5-21% margin of victory.) Conclusion: Rosselló's control of the party machinery gives him a major base of support.

---At the expected turnout level (615,000 votes cast), Rosselló is expected to beat Fortuño by about 76,000 votes. This means that about 64% of the party's registered voters cast a ballot.

---Rosselló's expected margins of victory drop as voter turnout rises, to the point where he is expected to lose the primary if over 1.07 million votes are cast. Conclusion: Crossover voting will come from an anti-Rosselló movement.

---Expected end result: Rosselló: 55% of the vote; Fortuño 45%.

Is the crossover vote expected? No. That would come primarily from the current governor's party, known as The Suffering Supporters of Ye Old Jellyfish. They would rather face Stupid Rosselló, who has so many varicose veins of corruption running through his resumé it looks like a map of the Amazon water basin. (Smells worse, too.)

So come Sunday, with bars closed and liquor sales vetted until after the polls close, We can try to ignore the blaring loudspeakers, the lane-hogging caravans and the overwhelmingly-empty "news" coverage to focus on what really matters: Spring training.

Anything else is Stupid (Rosselló.)

The Jenius Has Spoken.