Showing posts with label tourism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tourism. Show all posts

03 April 2012

Police Lies, Stupid Remarks, We All Lose

A 29-year old woman is found unconscious off a trail on the tiny island of Vieques, a vacation hotspot municipality of Puerto Rico. The woman, visiting Vieques as a tourist, was semi-nude and may have been raped.

The blow to the left side of her head was so powerful that it caused injury to the right side, not from a fall, but from the contusion itself, requiring emergency surgery. That is horrible enough. Worse is the possibility that she was raped, for no crime short of murder is more heinous. But beyond that lies another horror: the woman may have been the third victim of a serial rapist, whose two prior attacks were hushed up.

Let Me give you some context here: Vieques proper is about the size of some suburban tracts in the U.S. of part of A., for although 21 miles long and 5 miles wide, two closed areas on the western tip and eastern half of the island are closed off, halving the island's civilian zone. Just look at the map and you'll see that the civilian area--the township itself--is quite tiny. Population: about 9,600, give or take a few hundred visiting for Spring Break or Holy Week or some other pagan ritual.

There's two ways off the little island: boat (ferry or private vessel) or plane (local air transport or private plane). Although checking and vetting private boats and planes is not easy, it is routinely done as part of the massive(ly ridiculous) "drug war." Even with the ineffective and lackadaisical monkey squads We call police, trying to hunt a rapist on Vieques is far from impossible; in fact, the only place easier in Puerto Rico would be the tinier island-municipality of Culebra, northeast of Vieques.

So why hide the fact that two other women were attacked, one raped?

Politics. With maybe a soupçon of equally disgusting and hypocritical economics thrown in.

Rape is a violent crime that thrives when covered up. Sadly, disgustingly, Our """society""" often blames the victim rather than the perpetrator, a nauseating reversal that says too much much about Us and all of it bad.

For those of you who don't get it (mostly men who are morally and intellectually retarded, but also some stupid women), imagine someone comes up and beats the living shit out of you. Pounds you like beating a mule. (Simile intended and the shoe fits, so shut up.) Barely leaves you alive. Now imagine that YOU--YOU--get blamed for the beating because you were in the wrong place or were wearing the wrong clothes or simply because whoever beat the shit out of you gets treated with more respect than you and your broken bleeding body.

Still think it's fair? If you do, then I hope My example becomes your reality in the next 5 weeks.

Two women were attacked in Vieques prior to this third attack. Even without charges, the attacks themselves would have to be publicized to alert other women and the community that some deranged animal is on the loose. Covering up this information was not done to protect the community: it was done to protect the image of Vieques. Specifically, the political image related to tourism.

If you think the economic image to tourism is the salient factor, rather than the political, think about this: other attacks against tourists in Puerto Rico--rare, but they do happen here, just like the do around the world--are mentioned quickly and openly. The Vieques' attacks were not.  So what happened in these attacks?

July 15, 2011: A man described as "thin, with dark skin," leaps out from behind a rock and strikes a young (about 27) woman several times in the head. Despite the blows, the woman fights back, screams and gets the attention of her two girlfriends who were walking further ahead. The woman was hurt, but chose to leave Vieques immediately.

December 27, 2011: A 15-year old girl goes back to the hotel to get a snorkel. Her return takes so long that her parents search for her, but don't find her. She eventually appears, "beaten, delirious and bleeding". The family leaves Vieques and days later the girl indicates she was raped.

In neither case were charges filed by the persons involved, directly or indirectly. That happens all-too-often in a society that treats rape victims like criminals; no, worse, because the """legal system""" eviscerates the victim to coddle the criminal. But the police knew about each case. They had the injury reports and testimonies. The Vieques police knew that two women were attacked, one was raped, and yet the Regional Commander, Antonio López, said "he didn't know" about the two previous attacks and "defended" the police's inaction by stating that "(T)here have been no reported rapes in Vieques since 2003."

Now here's the objective take: (1) It is entirely possible that the Regional Commander didn't know about two specific cases of essentially assault and battery in one small township of his area, even though that township is a high-profile hotspot for tourism and drug intervention; and, (2) It is entirely possible that there have been no reported rapes in Vieques since 2003.

But here's My non-objective take, aimed straight at Tony "Lip Service" López: There are times when the facts are on your side and there are times when sticking to the facts makes you an asshole. And in this case, "Lips On Ass" López, you are being an asshole. 


Your job--cough-chuckle-retch--is "To Serve and Protect." Under your command, three women, one of them a minor, were attacked and beaten, almost certainly raped in two cases, and your response is basically a politically-farted, shit-for-brains version of "I don't know and I don't care."

Over three years ago, a pregnant woman was abducted and brutally murdered while vacationing here--in Ceiba, part of your command area, "Loose Lips" López. Just before her murder, terrified and anguished in the trunk of a car, the woman called her fiancé. What that must have been like for both of them staggers reason. The crime received a great deal of press and a Tourism Company executive--a woman, no less--had the unmitigated gall to say that the crime was a tragedy because it stained the tourism reputation of the Island.

Yes, crimes do stain a country's reputation, particularly for tourism. Just ask Mexico. But stupidity, product of a smelly, self-serving blend of ignorance and arrogance in the form of puke-inducing statements, does just as much damage.

Partially-lost in this mess is that local officials moved quickly to help the most-recent victim's mother arrive here within hours and have provided accommodations for them both and the victim's friends, also here on vacation. It's truly the least that could be done.

But Let's get some things straight, right now:

---Crime happens. Sometimes to tourists. But regardless of who gets hurt--tourist or resident--stop covering up the crimes for political """gain"""". To the Vieques police and anyone involved in hushing up the noted attacks and any other danger the community should be alerted to: Fuck you.

---I read comments, some from women, that these attacks and rapes happened because the victim's were "walking where they shouldn't be walking" or bullshit to that effect. In other words, they are saying that by "going there," they "invited" the crimes perpetrated against them. These women were on a tiny island where security could be enforced with relative ease. But that's beside the point. Glance up to My example again. The crime is committed because the perpetrator chooses to commit it, not because the victim """""chooses""""" it. If you can't understand that, you should be sterilized.

At a time when Our government's statistics on crime are complete, total and pestiferous hogwash, slamming cases into courts to "up" numbers and hiding crimes to "down" others, it seems obvious to anyone with a higher IQ than a turd that the energy involved in hiding the facts can be put to better use. Not that it will be, simply that it can be.

Because when it comes to facts and fibs, facts are the only ones that help Us all, while fibs only serve the fucking liars.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

12 May 2011

Tourism? Nah. Tourrette's

The Jenius returned with a different outlook, a return to the more positive mindset of several years ago. Consciously. Deliberately. A kinder, nicer Jenius. So I read the following interview with Mario González, the current Executive Director of the Puerto Rico Tourism Company (pardon Me while I suppress a sardonic snort...there; nicer Jenius upheld) and aimed My Jenial mindset at the good points.

And aimed. And came up with: Our "Tourism" is a spew of idiocy.

Fuck nice. This "Tourrette's-disguised-as-Tourism" company shit has GOT to end. Now.

(Fell off the bandwagon kinda fast, huh? Idiocy can do that to a Jenius.)

Here's the complete interview, from which I will extract some of the more idiotic outbursts of "Motormouth" Mario.

First, note the title: "Ladies and gents, Puerto Rico speaks up, finally." I feel the interviewers' pain, because I'm sure Motormouth Mario was in "Severe Bureaucratic Avoidance" mode and delayed being available for the interview until he screwed up and couldn't get out of it. Given the end result, he was an idiot for not hiding until 2012. [Disclaimer: I have exchanged a few e-mails and tweets with Raúl Colón, but never about this interview and I've never met Nelson Alcántara in any way.] 



The interview was under the banner of ETurboNews, covering the global travel industry:

ETN: Every extension is a brand, an identity, if you may. Can you identify what's Puerto Rico's unique value proposition? 
LAFUENTE: Unique value proposition is that we are more than sun and sand, which is actually one of our competitive advantages, our mountains, our natural resources. We have a beautiful tropical rainforest. We have the Camoway (sic) caves. We have a rich history, culture. So we have a diverse offer to our visitors that is, I guess, our competitive advantage to the other islands. 

If Motormouth Mario had stood up and said shitpissturdsandwich at 94 decibels, he would have been more cogent. His answer about Our unique value proposition is sophomoric at the ultimate best and the babbling of an incompetent primate at worst. Maybe the monkeys have invaded San Juan...

Motormouth, Puerto Rico's UNIQUE value proposition is your "elevator pitch," your 20-second "hook". You've been in office since August 2, 2010 and the interview was held on April 14, 2011. Isn't 8 months enough for you to learn what Our UVP is, or should be? And "you guess" about what Our UVP is? Verbal tic, Motormouth?

Here's an elevator pitch version for the U.S. of part of A. market that you can steal from Me: In the Caribbean, Puerto Rico offers a greater variety of tropical and one-of-a-kind attractions, along with ecological and adventure travel, all within easy driving distance on the Island and without needing a passport or visa to come here.  There. Maybe you can memorize that by the time you get kicked out in 2012.  "What about Europe?" you exclaim? I got one, but I'm not going to do all your work for you.

And a shout-out to Nelson and Raúl for the follow-up question:
ETN: So exactly that was the next question. What sets Puerto Rico apart from other nations in the Caribbean? Journalism 101: make sure the question is answered.

Moving on, in a downward spiral:

ETN: On Puerto Rican crime and tourism, is there a connection? 
LAFUENTE: There is no connection... 

ETN: In the history of Puerto Rico, has there ever been an instance when a tourist or tourists have been involved in such a situation? 
LAFUENTE: Yes, yes, there has. 

Motormouth answered the first question by spewing the party line, like a baboon chewing a banana. But take a look at this: A Google search for puerto rico crime tourism that shows Me 7 of the top 10 results are clearly negative:

#1: "If you look at the statistics, it's clear that Puerto Rico has a crime problem." WikiTravel.org.

#2: "...rising crime, drugs, AIDS, and other social problems plague Puerto Rico." Frommer's.

#4: "...to have the murder rate of puerto rico (sic) it would be about 8000 by now." VirtualTourist.com

#6: "I recognize that Puerto Rico has a high crime rate but it's..." GoCaribbean.com

#7: "Meet Sara Kuszak: Pregnant American Tourist Killed In San Juan". PuertoRico Country Toolbox.com (blog) [I have exchanged many e-mail with this blogger.]

#8: "...times accused government authorities of misrepresenting crime statistics for political (and tourist) purposes."

DollarMan.com #9: "Puerto Rico's crime wave reaches Condado hotels". USATODAY.com From April 26th, 2011, not even 2 weeks after the Motormouth interview. Did a crime wave tsunami erupt April 15th or am I missing something here?

Only one result is positive, #3 on My search results: "Little crime in the tourist areas of Puerto Rico equals a worry-free visit..." It's from the PuertoRico-Guide.info. Click on the link and here's the opening paragraph: In Puerto Rico auto theft, muggings, and drug trafficking are the most commonly reported forms of crime, so stay alert, lock your car, and use any security features available in both your vehicle and your hotel. Muggings are commonly reported on the Condado and Isla Verde beaches in San Juan, so it might be wise to confine your moonlit walks on the beach to the fenced-in and guarded areas around some of the major hotels. Is this in any way a ringing endorsement?

I know Google displays geolocated results, so what I see is going to differ somewhat from what a Michigander or Iowan or Kentuckian will see, but does anyone in this Web-savvy world really think that their results will be more positive than Mine? And based on that, can anyone with any brains really think that crime and tourism are not connected when people think/search about Puerto Rico? And who is the average would-be traveler--over 83% now relying on the Web for vacation planning--going to believe: Frommer's, a neutral website, a Puerto Rico-based blog or some pseudo-official "Puerto Rico Guide"?

Motormouth, stop obsessing about the party line and party lies and party bullshit and get to work on engaging the Web as the key tool for marketing My Island. What you "think" or "believe" is buried under tons of reality checks, made every minute of every day, around the world. Puerto Rico is not the worst place in the world for crime; it's not even the worst in the U.S. of part of A. But unless We tell that to the world and help others promote Our positives, you, Motormouth Mario, will be nothing more than a feckless shill of political hyenas.

More from the mealy-mouthed interview:

ETN: What efforts are being done to entice this (the lucrative gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered) market? 
LAFUENTE: Well, we - although we do not have a specific promotion or marketing to any specific group, the way that our marketing and promotions are made, our marketing and promotions program are enticing to all groups. So I am pretty sure that there are hostelries here that market to that specific group. So like I said, you know, we are very open and very inclusive for all groups to come to Puerto Rico. 

Remember what he said here: "...we do not have a specific promotion or marketing to any specific group..."

Later in the interview, he says:

ETN: Customer service is sometimes overlooked as a result of mass tourism, like it's not given a priority. Is this the case for Puerto Rico? 
LAFUENTE: ...Puerto Rico isn't necessarily a mass-driven destination and should not be a mass-driven destination, but putting that aside, it's just, you know, marketing for the type of product that we have here. In terms of quality, we are very, very aware of the importance of quality and service, and we are very focused on developing that important factor. 

Did you lose your focus here, Motormouth? If We are not "a mass-driven destination and should not be a mass-driven destination," then why is that "...we do not have a specific promotion or marketing to any specific group..."? Are We "not niche-marketing to the masses to bring in no specific groups but not the masses"? Are We "mass-marketing to avoid the masses and the niches as well"? Just what the hell are We doing, Motormouth?

Here's another example of Tourrette's-masquerading-as-Tourism:

ETN: Puerto Rico Tourism Company has boldly claimed that Puerto Rico does it better. Let's make this case in terms of tourism. What exactly in your view does Puerto Rico Tourism do better?
LAFUENTE: Well, we do many things better. Puerto Rico does it better. 

Echolalia or incompetence, as shown by the rest of the rambling answer?

Marketing a destination is not an easy task. Trying to market a destination by not knowing what's unique and special about it is almost impossible. But trying to do so by not even knowing what the hell you're saying is totally impossible. You need help, Motormouth. For Our sake, you should get it. 

For when it comes to Our Tourism, Tourrette's is not an option We should have to put up with. Ever.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

[Note: 15 May 2010: Hey! Back on 19 September 2008, I wrote a post titled "Tourism Tour(rette)". The more things change... ]

10 March 2010

F___ The Tourism Company

Here's a way Our (non)governor Luis "The Larva" Fortuño can save about $175 million from what passes for a budget in his (non)administration: Fire the Tourism Company. (You thought it was some other verb with the letter "f," right? So did I. Still do.)

Fire them all. Close down the damn pigpen of corporate interests unrelated to true Puerto Rico tourism growth. Do. It. Now. Before We lose more than We can recover in a generation.

Think I exaggerate? A generation ago (circa 1990), We were the Number 1 Caribbean destination. We had slipped in Our lead, but We were Number 1. Guess where We are now? Not Number 1. And slipping year after year.

The Tourism Company is to marketing Puerto Rico what Genghis Khan was to the Church of Rome: a smelly scourge. The pigpen serves a master of rapine beast called the "Big Industry Airline Travel Corporate Hotels" cartel, better known as BIATCH. They call the shots and narrowly define tourism as "what's good for them" rather than "what's good for Puerto Rico." And so far, the twain seldom if ever meet.

What airline dominates air travel to Puerto Rico? American Airlines. What airline has the most former high-ranking employees now "serving" in the Tourism Company? Uh-huh. What percentage of the estimated $175 million budget goes to marketing Puerto Rico? About 13% if you round way up. How much goes to marketing Puerto Rico outside of the U.S. of part of A.? 11%, if you round up in a good year. That means that roughly 1.5% of the puny marketing budget of the BIATCH-led pigpen goes to advertise in markets other than that dominated by...American Airlines.

Is it any wonder that the Dominican Republic gets about 2.4 million tourists a year from Europe while We get about 200,000--basically those stranded at Our airport on the way to some other place?

How much of the BIATCH-pigpen "marketing" effort goes to the Internet? Guess. No, go ahead, guess. Yours is as good as Mine which is as good as "who the f--- knows?" Here's what We do know and can prove easily: Do a search as if you were traveling to Puerto Rico then rate the results as either positive or negative about Us. That's where the money should be spent, where roughly 61% of travelers are starting their travel plans. Then notice how many of the Puerto Rico sites are in a language other than English or Spanish...

The Tourism Company has had one brilliant idea in the past 20 years and because it happened on a holiday weekend, no one knew what it was. From changing slogans just to spend money ("Come to the Continent of Puerto Rico," "Puerto Rico Does It Better," "Puerto Rico U.S.A.," "Go Puerto Rico" and My suggested-but-never-used "Puerto Rico: Closed For Repairs") to subdividing the Island into "tourism regions" and then STILL spending money to push only the BIATCH-rich San Juan area, the Tourism Company is to Our beaches what an oil spill is: a noxious ugly stain.

So, fire 'em.

What do We replace them with? Why slap My buns and call Me Trixie, I got ideas:

--Create a contest and pick the 10 best website designs and campaigns to promote Puerto Rico.

--Hire 10 local ad agencies and have them compete for tourism marketing contracts ranging from one to 3 years in duration. Cap the maximum contract at $3 million and all the others maxing out at $1 million.

--Spread funds to the regional areas such as Porta del Sol (west coast) and Porta Caribe (south coast) so they can implement their own marketing campaigns. Give the small hotel associations their own funding for marketing.

--Create a "Tourism Evaluation System" database that not only targets visitors to Puerto Rico for their opinions, but also monitors what's being said about Our tourism components on the Web. Use that to improve the overall quality of experience amongst the related companies (hotels, airlines, transportation, restaurants, shops, etc.)

--Partner with the Dominican Republic to offer 2-for-1 deals--2 Islands for the Price of 1. Yes, they have lower labor costs and more hotel rooms, but if We focus on what We have instead of what they have, We can find a solid market that benefits both countries. First step: We need to lose the attitude that they are "beneath" Us. My Brethren know exactly what I mean.

--Create Our own airline, by either buying into someone other than American Airlines and its prima puta attitude or partnering routes with other airlines. As for the other way to bring people here, lower the damn port fees for cruise ships and add companies capable of providing "4 Hour Experiences" to cruise ship passengers. Unless We offer them Our unique attractions in user-friendly ways, We'll never get them off the damn boats to spend more money here. (Yes, I called them "boats.")

I've got more ideas, but so do you if you set your mind to it. Making Our tourism better is one of the few industries We have near-total control over, thus it is a powerful tool in Our arsenal of economic growth. We need to improve it by making it Our own tool again, wresting it from the hands of a greedy BIATCH who for all intents and purposes hates Us.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

20 January 2010

Old World, New Look

In what is deemed a bold move by the Tourism Company, Puerto Rico's equivalent to the Cops of Keystone City, We are now--gasp--trying to attract European tourists.
Gee. Finally.
Now We could look at this as a bad move since the last time We went whole-hog for European visitors, Our natives got killed.
I'm kidding. They were raped, then they were killed.
But that's all water under the bridge, or in Our case, water that washed out the bridge built for 265% actual costs. The bottom line is this:
1) Puerto Rico is no longer the #1 tourist destination in the Caribbean, having been displaced by the Dominican Republic in 2008.
2) The Dominican Republic received a little over 2.4 million European tourists in 2009; We had "about" 200,000, which given the accuracy of El Nuevo Día's future burger flippers masquerading as journalists could mean 2,450.
3) The average--average--European stays two weeks in the Dominican Republic. Two. Weeks. The average European stay in Puerto Rico is called "layover."
Local dingbats affiliated with the tourism industry, like the Puerto Rico Hotel and Tourism Association and the Tourism Company's acephalic "programs" whine that "We can't compete with the Dominican Republic's all-inclusive packages, 70,000+ rooms and cheap labor."
Boo-hoo. Have you crybabies in smelly diapers ever imagined where the D.R. would be if they had the same attitude back in the 1960s and 70s? "We can't compete with Puerto Rico's infrastructure, no-passport access to the U.S. of part of A. and massive marketing efforts." I  bet you never heard that from them. And that's why their kicking polvo in Our faces now.
Before I paint My buns with nitric acid, here's three points that the dingbats mishandling Our tourism efforts need to get into their gullets (since We've established that they have no craniums):
1) Tourism is intrinsically a geosocial experience. I made that word up, but it makes sense, so it is now an official word in the English language. One travels to Venice to explore its canals. In Vegas, a traveler gambles and takes in shows. In other words, a tourist visits a place to encounter a location and a set of experiences that are unique. Therefore what We need to focus on is not "price" or "rooms" but "unique experiences." And that, My Brethren, goes far beyond beaches, El Yunque and tacky Chinese gewgaws in Old San Juan.
2) You don't advertise to would-be travelers, you engage them. Where? On the Internet.  More than 68% of travelers explore their potential destinations by surfing the Web, and on the Web, We rank somewhere between goat liver recipes and toejam remedies. In short, We are not web-savvy. We--or rather, the whiny headless dingbats--spend Our money on TV ads aimed  at folks older than Mount Rushmore and ignore the thousands of active travelers on the Internet that We can reach for pennies a day. Here, try this experiment: do a travel search to Puerto Rico and check out the comments people leave about hotels, services and amenities. Tally up the negatives and positives. Note how many comments are addressed by the owners or tourism-related personnel. Than you'll have your proof on why I call these people "dingbats."
3) Why advertise blindly in Europe when you have 2.4 million Europeans a 25-minute flight away? You mean to tell Me that, if given the chance, some 200,000 of the Europeans spending 2 weeks in the D.R. wouldn't hop over here and spend a day or two doing something geosocial? (See? I told you it was an official word.) If We did that, We could double Our European influx and gain some additional voices in the Old World to talk about Us.
Granted, We'd have to work on Our sorry (oh so very sorry) service skills and on Our sorry (oh so very sorry) language skills, but at least We'd be making a start. Otherwise, We face dropping to #3 when Cuba flings open its doors to rampant capitalism...and it will. You can bet a dingbat's ass on that.
Hell, We already have.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

09 September 2009

Gracious Hosts...Not Often Enough

I live in an area of Puerto Rico that abounds with tourists, both from other parts of the Island as well as from around the world. In My conversations with them, I often ask the foreign visitors what keeps bringing them back to My neck of the Caribbean.

The most common answer: The people.

Now I'm on record as saying that My brethren here often suck at personal service and especially many of those who work in the hospitality industry. But what the foreign visitors refer to is not "the people in the industry," but simply the people that inhabit the areas they visit.

We often forget--or at least, I have forgotten to mention--that Our People are very kind and generous, excellent hosts with a warm heart. It is common to be invited into a home, as a friend of the family or on a social visit, and be treated like royalty. You get offered several things to eat, several to drink and if you say no to everything, you'll get asked what you want so your host can get it for you.

And many times as well, from the first visit, you'll get treated like someone who's visited often...and will do so again. It's not an empty phrase to most of My Brethren the "Come again" farewell you'll hear as you leave.

As the foreigners have discovered.

Why that pleasant part of Our personality is not replicated in Our tourism workers is a major flaw We've had for decades. More than "fewer hotel rooms," it is this sour-puss, "Yankee-or-not-go-home" surliness that has cost Us Our long-held position as the #1 tourism destination in the Caribbean.

Maybe We're hiring the wrong people, but if We're doing that, We're too screwed up to be fixed this century. It seems the problem is one of attitude, a demeanor that implies that treating someone else well--for a salary or a tip--is beneath Us. If that's the case, then maybe We should just stop paying people in the hospitality industry and let the "natural" instincts take over.

Or then again, maybe We should just take a hard look at Ourselves, take in the reality that is Us and work Our butts off to make Our "public" attitude as welcoming as Our "private"
attitude.

After all, isn't having two faces a bad thing?


The Jenius Has Spoken.

21 September 2008

Online Revealed Caribbean 2008

You just gotta love a company that calls itself A Couple of Chicks E-Marketing, with Alicia Whalen as CEO: Chick Executive Officer. Together with co-founder Patricia Brusha, A Couple of Chicks have been carving out a niche for themselves in the sharp-shooting world of Internet marketing.

Their signature event, Online Revealed Canada, has had a very successful three-year run, and looking hard at the American markets, Alicia and Patricia aimed for the Caribbean as a hot market for e-marketing development. They chose Puerto Rico as the hub for their event. And through the oft-mentioned Kevin Shockey, they got to meet Me.

Unfortunately, I was only able to attend the late first-day session, where Alicia, MC Don Dees (of Dondequiera fame) and I were the blogger panel. If the after-panel comments are an indication--and they usually are--We hit a home run. Both Alicia and Don Dees have "commercial" blogs, blogs aimed at building their businesses, while I have...well, The Jenius. In essence, We were trying to convey the importance a blog can have to creating a conversation with your customers and prospects, especially in the realm of travel and tourism.

There was one dissident voice, someone who almost willfully refuses to "get it," but the fact is, neither he nor anyone else has to be a fan of blogs. What he does to need to acknowledge, though, is that focusing on ROI only on the "traditional" marketing actions means he's entirely missing the true measurement of ROI that Internet marketing (including blogs) can give.

An aside: If he continues to use the "Threaten you with a horrible review unless you give the person a free night's stay" example, I'm going to call him a spineless worm, for he's using the "extreme" example as if it were "common." Here's My less-rancorous answer to that: Suggest and make arrangements for a stay in another hotel more in tune with person's tastes and send the asshole over there.

One question, by Alex, a travel industry consultant, elicited the basis for an e-book I outlined today: How do you manage the logistics of starting a business blog?

My answer--crafted at the moment to answer his question--was a four-step process:

1) Gather sources: From other blogs to websites to suppliers to allied businesses to competitors and don't forget to include customers. Anything that can help you generate content ideas is a source.

2) Make choices: As I pointed out during the panel, some experts say "focus" or "develop a voice," but it all boils down to making choices. What do you want to say? Who are you saying it to? How will you say it? The problem with "focus" or "voice" is that they are not "instant" characteristics: They develop over time. By making choices you simplify the development to the point where you can actually create a blog, rather than just plan one.

3) Be consistent: Not just in time (blogging once a week or every Tuesday/Friday, etc.) or length of post or type of material: In all of it. A corollary is to also Be Flexible (I didn't mention that during the panel.) Consistency means you work a blog like a tool, honing it over time. The flexibility means you adapt it over time to be as responsive as possible.

4) Follow-up: A blog, or a website, does not exist in a vacuum. They don't do all the work by themselves, just by virtue of existing. You have to follow-up, connect, explore, pay attention to, adapt and grow...and when you do that with consistency, you will have sharpened effort into focus and presentation into voice.

How do you choose a blogger for your business? Like any other job position. But I did suggest to those present that they could (in the case of a small hotel, for example) put their newest employee in charge of the blog. S/He learns about the hotel faster, their potential role in its growth (or failure) and is more likely to be familiar with the technology and mores of the Web than anyone else on the staff.

And for those who want to start a business-enhancing blog, but especially those in the travel industry, I suggested they search for stories. Stories are the traditional way We have connected since the first campfires. Stories engage, enthrall, connect and convince, all values that marketing has tried time and again to elicit, but has found harder going in this attention-deficit age We live in.

Here's a website I found just after returning from the event: StoryMaps. It allows bloggers to map their posts within Google Maps. I'll let you determine how valuable (and serendipitous) this new service is. And for anyone who mentioned or thought of The Cluetrain Manifesto as part of the blogger panel's discussion, here's an expanded take on what it means now.

I still have some follow-up to do: Joseph Clote of Missouri Meeting & Events magazine asked Me a question I had no answer for (gasp!) about the local Tourism Company's advertising budget; Melinda E. Van Patter, of MarketWire, will receive My e-mail to find out more about integrated press releases; I owe a web stroll through Five Star Alliance, where Cal, Courtney and Jennifer hang out (to work) (apologies if I misspelled a name); and another to AdCision, where Emily and Cal (again!) hang out to work; and last, but not least in any way, I'll call Karla Medina of Caribbean Trading Company to drop in on her store near the foothills of El Yunque rain forest.

Just before I left the event, I suggested We create a blog or wiki to track the development of the 70 attendees to Online Revealed Caribbean and build connections to next year's events. I fully expect We'll do so and I'm very glad We will.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

19 September 2008

Tourism Tour(rette)

I'll be blogging over the weekend (special posts--free of charge) about Online Revealed Caribbean, where The Jenius was on the blogger panel. For now, I'll do My Jenius thing:
Where the hell was the Puerto Rico Tourism Company?

Not at Online Revealed Caribbean. But check out some monotonous show about Alaska crab fisherman and--lo and behold!--some twitchy (yes, it's a word) flash-cut shotgun collage of Puerto Rico shows up, courtesy of... the Tourism Company.

Now you may be familiar with My take on the local tourism hash, but this latest little incident is emblematic of the deep-seated, practically embedded-in-its-DNA ignorance that keeps the local Tourism Company from being anything other than a tchochtke when by all rights it should be a sculpture.

A) Time and time again, from the tech sites to business press, We hear that travelers are increasingly-dependent on the Web to research and plan their trips. So guess where the Tourism Company spends the absolute bulk of its marketing budget? TV and magazines.
Several recent surveys have indicated that TV ranks fifth as an influencer of travel plans, behind the Web, travel agent recommendations, family/friends and personal experience with the place. Now guess--just guess, you spastic Tourism Company--where you can find tons and tons of travel agent recommendations and people's personal experiences in full color? Uh-huh: the Web. It's also called the Internet. And being Online.

B) Because the Tourism Company is just a political nest, vision is very much compromised. Rather than draft a long-term plan (8-15 years) that encompasses hotel growth, the challenges We face from the Dominican Republic and Cuba (see My "tourism hash" link above for what that will do to Us), attracting more European and Asian tourists (have someone show you where Europe and Asia are, okay?), enhancing eco-tourism and other niche offers and dealing with the sorry state of taxes and service that We have now, the Tourism Company does things without volition and says things that drop like stink bombs at the cotillion ("We Do It Better"? "Discover the Continent of Puerto Rico"? Huh?)


What We have is an entity that lacks control over its muscles (actions) and speech (slogans), in essence a Tourism Company suffering from Tourrette's Syndrome. (Did you see the pun? Did you? I am funny!) Twitchy (it is a word) and liable to blurt out anything just to make noise, Our Tourism Company consistently misses the mark. Incapable of looking ahead or even seeing reality, it lets the opportunity to directly participate in both a learning and guiding experience, actions sorely needed to quickly and effectively learn what to say, where to say, when and how. And the where is--beyond a shadow of a doubt--online.

Here's a point We need to address and have needed to for decades: The Tourism Company is the only local agency that can say what it wants without ever having been interfered with by the federal government. We can market Ourselves and Our attractions any way We feel like. So instead of finding Our unique voice, instead of acting on Our behalf on a gobal scale, We ramble through Our back yard, over-tax and over-burden the strongest, freest industry We have ever had and ignore the strongest tourism communication channel ever because of fear arising from ignorance.

Action always defeats fear. Asking questions, listening and acting to learn defeat ignorance. But I guess you can't overcome these small obstacles if most of your actions are uncontrollable spasms and most of your words nothing more than thoughtless outbursts.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

28 February 2008

Bids Open

Here's an idea: Let's place Puerto Rico on eBay.

The purpose is to offer Ourselves as the prime material for someone's best idea, with "best" being "the most millions." Here's how I'd phrase the offer:

Sunny Caribbean island with 4 million eager money-beavers ready to make a move. Warm tropical environment peppered with high-tech facilities that are increasingly easy to pick up. Retail heaven what with an underground economy where cash is king, queen and prince. (That cash is looking for a home...if you catch my drift.)

Some slight damage involving regulations with cement-like fluidity and 35% "unemployed", but money can oil the hinges (if you know what I mean) and there are 200,000 - 300,000 "ultra-eager" money-beavers (from, uh, outside this island) that truly make up for their less-energetic brethren. (For more information, e-mail the Consulate of the Dominican Republic.)

Other perks? Plenty (plenty!) of Miss Universe contestants, fun-loving calendar and indecision-induced manipulability. Recent events in Cuba make bidding on Puerto Rico a must: High levels of economic anxiety are ratcheting upwards, tourism is expecting a severe downturn and the political scene has no clue. Bring your great idea to Puerto Rico, bid 'til you win and turn your idea into OUR idea...and rake in the bucks!


Of course, the bidders here would be nations, even though there are several individuals who have the assets to float a bid or two. Who would be the prime bidders? Here's a list with reasons:

Brazil: Access to primary U.S. markets
Colombia: Money-laundering
Eastern European republics: High-tech market penetration
Russian Federation republics: See Colombia
South Korea: Working vacations made easy
Japan: Golf and to deny South Korea its working vacations
Singapore: To create another economic colony
China: Because they can

Limit the contract to a 20-year period, open it at $20 billion and let the bids fly!!

What? Economic slavery? So what else is new? Dignity? Dignity stands up for itself: We don't. Political obstacles? Give Uncle Sam a 15% agent's fee and that ends that.

Let the bidding begin!


The Jenius Has Spoken.

20 August 2007

Our New Tourism Agency

Based on My recent "new tourism slogan for Puerto Rico" post, I've pondered harder about what kind of tourism agency Puerto Rico really needs.

I'm obviously basing this on the premise that the current Tourism Company is doing a sub-par job. Let Me present some basis for that premise.

Thanks to friends Kevin Shockey and José Rodríguez, I discovered that the U.S. Virgin Islands handles their tourism efforts with $4 million, whereas Puerto Rico does it (better?) with $80 million. Ah, but Puerto Rico is bigger, you say. True, but theU.S. Virgin Islands is kicking Our (bigger) butt when it comes to how much money they generate per tourist.

For you see, even if it's government money, it must be weighed as an investment. The U.S. Virgin Islands attract more tourists per dollar and make more money per tourist than We do. Oh, and the USVI invest part of their tourism budget in paying police (better security) and solid waste management (keeping the beaches clean.)

So why are We getting Our clocks cleaned, when by most accounts, We should be the shining star of (this section of) the Caribbean?

Because Our Tourism Company is a bloated, headless coelacanth in a world of frickin' sharks with frickin' lasers on their heads.

Of the $80 million budget, some 70-75% goes to paying the salaries and benefits of the mindless drones who toil there. (That's actually lower than the 80+% average of other agencies. Woo-hoo!) That leaves about $20 million to invest in marketing Puerto Rico and improving local facilities. Should be enough to make an impact, but wait! We have no vision, no long-range plans and We hysterically embrace the folly of splitting Puerto Rico into smaller regions--smaller fish, so to speak--creating a bevy of areas that are each underfunded and thus forced to compete against the frickin' laser-wearing sharks.

We zig and zag like drunken fish hoping to secure some niche in the coral fields of travelers' minds. (I've gone way too far in My metaphors here...) Top-heavy with ignorance, subject to too many headless directives, blinded by "less is more" imagery while executing "less is less" activities and out of touch with the new realities of world travel, Puerto Rico needs a new tourism agency. So here's what it should be:

---Smaller: Yes, less can be more if, like a laser, We focus instead of dissipating. People the agency with 8-10 marketers, tech-savvy go-getters who understand that lasers are the present. (Work the metaphor, damn it.) Make technology your ally, not your wastebasket.

---Online: Forget traditional media: If you want more bang for your buck, head online. Several recent surveys have shown that 78% of all travelers use the Internet to research, plan and make arrangements for their trips. Why advertise in traditional media, where travelers at best average 26% of your audience, when you can advertise to travelers themselves?

---Information, not slogans: Nobody gives a rat's puckered ass if "Puerto Rico Does It Better," "Sideways" or "With a Frickin' Cherry On Top." What matters to travelers is what separates online from traditional media: Hard-core information. Check out any travel site and actually see your potential hotel room, or browse the forum to read what other people say about Cancun, Venice...or Puerto Rico. Notice how the phrases "Too expensive," "too dirty" and "too much hassle to go back again" appear in relation to Puerto Rico. One is too many; to see several is heart-breaking. And to know Our much-lauded craptacular Tourism Company isn't capable and won't do anything about that is mind-blowing.

---Measure daily, not yearly: Every day visitors come to Puerto Rico. Every day people pool their hard-earned money and make decisions about where to go to spend it. Every day people dream about their vacations, many of them dreaming about tropical sunny beaches and turquoise waters (which the Tourism Company might like to know: We have them.) Every day. So what is this foolhardy focus on yearly statistics, calculated a quarter or two after the fact? Yes, annual stats provide an average, but in the "Now-Me Now!" world We inhabit, every day is the standard of measurement, not every year or so.

---Understand that tourism is growth, not graft: (Pun definitely intended.) However, what I mean by "growth" is the natural extension of who and what We are whereas graft is trying to impose a costume or style that simply isn't Us. It's the fundamental difference between honesty and deceit, between integrity to Ourselves and self-debasement to please others. The first in each case is healthy and breeds respect; the second in each case breeds contempt. Asking Us to do the second alienates visitors. Doing the first opens Our arms to the world...and the world will respond in kind.

---Make the change now: Every day, We fall further behind. Every day. It's way past time to make every day count--in Our favor.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

08 August 2007

New Slogan for Puerto Rico

It's about time Puerto Rico adopted a new slogan. Usually the province of the Tourism Company--a collection of pipe dreamers in need of higher brain functions--We've had slogans such as "Puerto Rico Does It Better" (aimed at Us rather than Them), "Come Explore the Continent of Puerto Rico" (the incontinent We hide) and the ever-pithy and pitiful "Puerto Rico U.S.A."

Seeing as how The Fools continue wrapped up in the über-absorbing nuances of fleecing Us like doped sheep, I thought I'd suggest a new slogan for Puerto Rico, one guaranteed to make an impact and sidestep the hallucination of pie-in-the-sky foolishness for nitty-gritty, get to work realism.

Here it is: PUERTO RICO: CLOSED FOR REPAIRS.

Catchy. I know.

Finally! A slogan We can relate to and that the rest of the world can grasp in a nanosecond. Refreshingly honest, but with a touch of hope that warms the heart.

Yeah, We need to start using this slogan like yesterday. Puerto Rico: Closed for Repairs would immediately place Us on the global mental map of every media-connected person in the world, not only because it makes a bold statement, but because it implies a promise of "You'll be happy when you check Us out again!"

Isn't that what We need? A statement that garners attention, that cuts through the inane clutter of media overkill, grabbing people's eyes and ears like rabid wolverines and making them notice Us? One that has the fundamental power of Truth behind it, rather than the wishy-washy hypocrisy of the past? And to top it off, one that not only tells the world "We're worthier of your attention in the future," but sets the stage for Us to take responsibility, take charge and fix this mess already?

And here's the best part: We don't actually close. Yeah, I know, that's almost tantamount to lying, but short of hellholes like Cuba, North Korea and Iran, no one really closes a country. But by saying it, We also attract curiosity, the rubber-necking instinct that people have of wanting to see what might be bad. So, by stating the obvious and making it plain, We stand a really good chance of improving Our declining tourism numbers, all the while setting the stage for even greater growth in the future. Brilliant! A tourism campaign that actually delivers the goods!

Of course, the growth depends on making the repairs. One step at a time, okay? It's just a slogan, for now.

Puerto Rico: Closed for Repairs. Would that it were.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

21 February 2007

Pondering

Some points to ponder...

1) If local elections were held today, the jellyfish--Aníbal Acevedo--would win simply because the opposition is faced with a "choice" between a rabid malcontent focused on power (Stupid Rosselló) and a begging fetus aspiring to become a jellyfish (current Resident Commissioner Luis Fortuño.) Seeing as how the jellyfish has no apparent rival--yet--he could become another two-term governor.

Hell.

2) All the sound and fury about the unicameral bill is just that. The Fools will never place it anywhere near the electorate again in any binding fashion, so what We have is a another time-waster paid for by public monies.

3) Speaking of which, a good friend of Mine said recently: "I don't mind the stealing that goes on in government, because it's part of the process, but can't they (the corrupt) get things done right?" I was about to verbally thrash his argument to shreds when it dawned on Me: He has a point. We have reached the point of tolerating corruption, but by tolerating crass incompetence, We are actually encouraging both trends to continue. So maybe My friend's opinion is unsound, but by applying pressure to get the results We want, maybe We can reverse the downward spiral We're trapped in.

4) Prediction: The number of tourists visiting Puerto Rico this year will drop compared to 2006. The culprit: New passport regulations. Although Puerto Rico is exempted for U.S. citizens (meaning they can visit without a passport), many people won't grok that. And of those who do, the passport's "image" as a ticket to exotic places just doesn't seem to jibe with the more "domestic" image the Island tries to project in its advertising. Idea: Make Puerto Rico seem more exotic, while still emphasizing the "no passport" ease of travel. Since the Tourism idiots won't do that and We face increasing competition from the Caribbean, We're headed for a significant drop in both visitors and revenue.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

22 August 2005

Two Doers

You may have seen links there on the right to certain blogs. Check out T.I.P.S. and Portal al Exito. T.I.P.S. (which means "Tourism Is Profitable Service") is created by Diana Figueroa, and though it features the occasional interruption by The Jenius, the blog is essentially the vision and passion that Diana brings to improving customer service.

You may wonder why anyone would be passionate about customer service. Why not? If you have ever been on the receiving end of shoddy service, you know then how important it is for a business to provide good service. If your business doesn't feel passionate about customer service, then ask yourself "Why not?" If that's the case, you better hope none of your competitors is passionate about service because you may quickly find yourself becoming passionate about bankruptcy laws. And remember that in these global times, your competitors are down the street, across town and around the world.

Diana's aim is for Us to understand--to integrate into Our very fiber--the Truth that great customer service is vital for Our Success. Service has no language except that of understanding human needs. To become a global leader, and that is what We seek, service must become Our Focus. And Diana is leading the way to that Focus.

And why "Tourism"? Again, why not? It's a major industry here and it puts Us in touch not only with visitors from other shores, but with Our own people. By the millions in both cases. Go read T.I.P.S. Think about service. Add your voice to what Diana's doing.

Kevin Shockey gets mentioned here almost as much as The Jenius. He is smart, thoughtful, honest, talented, vulnerable and relentless. Despite setbacks and perspectives that often cause many others to throw up their hands in despair and quit, Kevin keeps moving forward, probing, searching, seeking. He is not a rah-rah kind of guy nor a basker in spotlight. He is the more subtle type of leader, the one who adds his words and deeds at the right time to create the desired effect.

A recent post in Portal al Exito mentions a dearth of doers here in Our Island. Kevin is right: We don't have enough Doers. He mentions wanting to attract a major blogger event to the Island, creating a Web 2.0 incubator and greater participation in Open Source Minds.

For both events, Kevin, count The Jenius in. And OSMers, of which Diana is also one, are proud to count you as one of Us. We just wish We had more Doers, too.

The Jenius knows more Doers; He is lucky that way. If He could know ten times more, Our Future would definitely be better. The Doer search is always active; it is the fundamental process of progress.


The Jenius Has Spoken