09 November 2010

For Sale: Puerto Rico

Like contracting dysentery when afflicted with cholera and treating it with Ex-Lax, the flow of stupidstupidstupid ideas in this (non compos mentis)administration continues. The latest fetid batch-dump is the """""idea""""" of selling houses in Puerto Rico to folks in the U.S. of part of A.

Let's look at this closely, holding Our noses in silent comment of the validity of this crapfest.

Puerto Rico has one of the highest rates of homeownership in the U.S. of part of A. Bully for Us. We also have the lowest income per capita--by far--in the States, so what's going on? How can people who are comparatively "poor" be so successful in owning homes?

Credit. The average Puerto Rican family--usually a young couple-buys a house and makes it the basis of their financial portfolio for growth, relying in tough times on family and even friends to help meet payments so as not to lose the property to foreclosure. But with low income comes a need for low income-accessible housing...and what We have on the market are boricua McMansiones sitting empty.

As I've posted before here, when land is as expensive as it is here, contractors have to find a way to insure their ROI. But the tendency went from affordable housing to "mega-projects," with gates, security guards, tennis courts and prices hitting $400,000 for a shack (but with benefits!) and regularly hovering around $600,000 and more. Rather than "many houses sold," contractors (and their partners in crime: see below) went for "exclusivity."

Politicians and government weasels, of course, loved this scam because it allowed more money for greasing the skids. Banks loved it because it's always good business to charge high interest on more money. (Note the many mortgage scandals that shit-spotted Our banking industry in the past decade.) And We, as pathetically envious, image-obsessed, keep-up-with-the-Jimenez's dirtbrains bought into this.

The first projects sold very well: there was a market for them. Second-wave projects sold fairly well, with many houses bought by people who didn't live in Puerto Rico. Third-wave projects, started and built in the last 3-4 years are empty of residents...and are now being offered for sale to people in the States.


Politicians and government weasels are not getting their skids greased anymore. Bankers aren't shoving high-interest mortgages down birdbrain gullets anymore. And contractors, those skid greasers and abetters of mortgage rape are sitting on houses set to self-destruct in the coming months.


Sell the houses to folks in the U.S. of part of A.? Really? Who'd buy them, Oh Larva of Lunkheaded Limpness? (For those of you late to this party, The Larva is My dismissive nickname for (non compos mentis) governor Luis Fortuño, Nature's answer to the question "Can a vacuum occupy space?") You're sitting on a crappy economy, a crime surge, an increased tax load, upward price spiraling, declining jobs and constipated political and economic deadlock that you are significantly responsible for? What the hell is your sales pitch? "Puerto Rico: not as crappy as you think?" Or are you going to go with: "Overpriced concrete beats cheap wood"? Or how about "No power, no water...no problem"?

I once suggested that Our slogan should be "Puerto Rico: Closed for Repairs," but you Limp Larva have actually put up a "Puerto Rico: For Sale" sign. It does make clear one thing though: your voter base is not "the poor" that statehood supposedly cares so much about, but the fat wallets that slime your (non compos mentis) administration's hooves and tentacles.

The Jenius Has Spoken.


NatetheGreat said...

The Jenius has spoken, indeed... y los bobos siguen decepcionando. It saddens me to see Puerto Rico following the US example of backing the economy with imaginary money (credit). We will buy anything on credit, which banks certainly love to hear. until they loan to tons of people who don't understand credit and default..
The empty condos that started off for sale, but are now for rent... and/or empty. Sounds like Brooklyn..
Selling them to Americans? As if Puerto Rico wasn't americanized enough already. This is going to be very interesting to see play out.
Sometimes I feel the Puerto Rico my mother described to me was just a dream...

GCSchmidt said...

NatetheGreat, for all intents and purposes, the Puerto Rico your mom spoke about IS a dream. My Island is nothing like the 1960s-1970s Puerto Rico of growth and social cohesion. And THAT Puerto Rico is miles removed from the "growing pains" island of the 1950s and the "poorhouse" island of the first five decades of U.S. of part of A. occupation. What We see now is a fragmented island, deeply divided by economic classes, political fanaticism and almost complete ignorance of key issues. There are bright spots--plenty, in fact--but they exist in isolation, disconnected and overshadowed by Our own inattention. Much to work on...and much to discuss, for sure.