8 Questions, 7 Definite Answers

Is governor Aníbal Acevedo Vilá growing a backbone?
In his recent budget presentation speech to the legislature, Acevedo openly criticized Pedro "I'm Ali Baba, Meet My 40 Thieves" Rosselló, causing a hissy-fit exit by his supporters and brazenly urged the (out)House vice-president to help him move towards progress. Gutsy move, with good tactical savvy behind it, as it places the incompetence of the legislature in a more exposed position than the governor's incompetence. Growing a backbone? Let's call it an embryonic notochord and keep it under observation.

Is Pedro Rosselló the "cancer" throttling Puerto Rico?
No, but he is the worst expression of it. This walking sack of road apples serves no positive purpose and the more he struggles with his own vapidity, the more obvious it becomes that he is simply trying to find a way to cover up his past. But as sorry a waste of DNA as he is, he merely symbolizes the festering decline of leadership in Puerto Rico, as well as a lack of moral fiber in those who pretend to act for the good of the nation. The real cause of Puerto Rico's near-comatose existence is indifference to Us, relegated to a back seat behind "Me first."

Is the 7% tax going to be approved?
Puh-lease, ask Me a hard one. Of course it will be, despite Rosselló's schizoid-autistic insistence in pushing a 4% tax (for reasons very much like the ones The Jenius described.) The mayors who don't have a municipal tax (76 of 78 at this point) lust after one, so they get the cash without the blame. We need a tax to balance seven decades of fiscal malfeasance (five of them during Roselló's two terms) and the lame-duck governor wants a coalition of mayors to help him pressure the legislature. Remember, The Jenius already knows Acevedo sees himself as a loser in 2008.

Will the government run out of money?
No. The economic and social disruption of 160,000 government employees not receiving their paycheck is a Katrina-like disaster. Add to that the curious number of people who would receive a paycheck and you have a tsunami added to the mix. Because you see, the government employs over 240,000 people: the ones who would not get paid include teachers, policemen, sanitation workers and the agency drones who punch a time-clock. The ones who would get paid would be legislators, department heads and other "higher ranking" Fools. Do you honestly think that The Fools would undermine their entire crapfest by alienating to the nth degree the very backbone of the local consumer economy? The money will appear: all that's left to determine is how big the fight will be over who gets the glory and who gets the blame. That should last until 2008.

Will Puerto Rico's bonds drop to junk status?
Yes, for perverted reasons. To the governor, who knows he's cooked for '08, the drop in rating would help propel his message of "Things have to change." To the opposition, it would add further embarrassment to a candidate already considered flabby, limp and lacking intestinal fortitude. It would also help statehooders "push" the idea of statehood under the guise of "fiscal crisis Uncle Sam could help Us fix," ignoring how Uncle Sam let New York City, New Jersey and other American cities and States take the dive anyway. And finally, 98% of Our People don't give a rat's nether regions about Our bond rating.

Will a third party "save" Puerto Rico?
From The Information Soldier, The Jenius learned of Benny Frankie Cerezo's idea of forming a third party that would present only candidates to the Legislature. I like the idea, for it emphasizes that throwing the fecal matter out of the outhouse is always a good way to clean the place up. However, no third party will be formed, so no "saving" will take place. And note I insist on calling it a "third" party, not a fourth: My intention is to severely irritate independentistas who can't qualify their party even after all the help they've gotten from the F.B.I.

Will the local Department of Education actually achieve total Internet access this summer?
There's a better chance of Satan appearing in the Vatican and selling Viagra to the cardinals.

Will the current labor strife lessen to normalcy or grow?
It will grow. Verizon's sale will lead to layoffs and cut-rate employee buyouts: more stress. The Power and Water Authorities will face greater scrutiny amidst even more charges of incompetence: more stress. Consumer debt is skyrocketing and oil price hikes and uncertainties are causing inflation: more stress. What passes for leadership in Puerto Rico cannot and will not be able to handle the day-to-day issues these and many other complaints create: they're too busy spitting and evil-eyeing each other. Unless a widespread movement for civic change emerges, labor strife--and thus general strife--will grow to historic proportions. Solutions are out there, but there aren't enough of Us putting them into action.

The Jenius Has Spoken.