20 March 2009

Jellyfish Jam--Not (Guilty)

I was wrong.

Former (un)governor Aníbal "The Jellyfish" Acevedo was found not guilty by a jury of vertebrates on the 9 remaining fraud charges pending against him (24 were filed in 2008.) In a case that seemed to melt in the light of the courtroom, the result clearly upsets a series of (road) apple carts:

1) The want-more-for-nothing party The Jellyfish once led can now gloat and scream its Fool head off that the case--actually, cases--were nothing more than political persecution. Most likely not true, but then again, what other argument has equal force now? 

2) The want-something-they-can't-get statehood party is now sitting on the horns of three dilemmas: Their party's "parallel" case--that of former senator Jorge "Il Castrao" De Castro--ended in serious jail time; strike one. They also claimed that The Jellyfish's case was vindication for what didn't happen with their former (faux)governor Pedro Stupid Rosselló; strike two. And their political advantage gained via the elections, one that left the w-m-f-n party in shadows has now been seriously undermined; strike three. 

3) (Non)governor Luis "The Larva" Fortuño was enjoying a rare moment in local politics: no serious opposition party challenger. The feckless Hector "Huh?" Ferrer, who wasn't smart enough to avoid being elected current party president, is--sound of total shock here--even less charismatic than The Larva, making the two of them Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dead. Even without that opponent, The Larva was struggling, playing Blindman's Bluff with the executive position. Now with The Jellyfish freed from his glass jar, The Larva is definitely in for some political heat. Political only, because The Jelyfish has no original ideas, anyway.

4) The federal judicial system, specifically the F.B.I. and the Justice Department, are in for a major heap of sass in the coming months. For decades, the feds have acted like they walk on water and We drink their piss. But after all this, after daring to take on a sitting governor, even one as useless as The Jellyfish--but still Our own--they have fallen flat on their dimwit faces. And We will not let them forget that.  Oh, no We won't.

5) And once again, a high-profile judicial case is larded over with money, much of it requested of supporters, seemingly indicating that enough money can buy a verdict. Don't ignore this aspect, but more than the other four, which play in limited arenas, this one plays at every level of society...and it doesn't play well in most of it.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

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