14 July 2010

Of Butts And Buttheads

When last We encountered the priapic-minded penepé moron Antonio "Hire A 'Model' To Do Nothing" Soto, he was blabbering like a gasping fish about defending the hiring of a so-called model/TV "personality" to work in his senate office, a hiring based more on the so-called model's butt than on her bachelor's degree. The attention given to this butthead's matter caused said butt to have her contract rescinded and We thought--hohoho--that we had heard the last about "Butthead" Soto for a little while.

Do tell.

Barely a day past this butt-hired-by-butthead scandal comes the "news"--okay, the news--that "Butthead" is a believer in spiritism, a blend of religion and "magic" which can be described as "drunk animalism." Or "dopey primitivism," take your redundant pick.

Now I'm treading on patchy ground here, for after all, although Butthead may be a public figure and thus open to flamethrower levels of criticism, certain things are not kosher, like religion or sexuality. Just as I defended former senator and then-San Juan mayoral candidate Zaida Hernández when she was verbally attacked for being a lesbian (and I would do the same for Jenniffer "Gluttonny" González if the verbal innuendos rose above scattered whispers, because she is a lesbian), I would defend any person's right to their own sexuality (Zaida's, Jenniffer's, name your choice here), but in terms of religion...well, there's thoughtful and there's brain damaged.

Butthead is in the brain-damaged group...along with Scientologists, Mormons and people who think Avatar is real. [For the record: Scientology is a scam created by a sci fi writer and perpetuated by people too cowardly and too young to join Hitler's Youth Movement and Mormons think some Mesoamerican civilization of white people (why else were the evil ones "cursed with dark skin"?) arose where Olmecs, Toltecs, Mayas and Aztecs lived for centuries and didn't EVER mention these whities, who somehow left NO traces of their "glorious," "Christ-visited" "splendor"...except for some "gold plates" buried in upstate New York, which are obviously the writings of only one or two 19th century hucksters. Jesus wept. And for you Avatar freaks, better dead than bred.]

Back to Butthead. I am not one to believe that "cultural relativism" means that I have to accept fathers fornicating daughters (Old Testament and some Ozark Mountain tribes) as something "good because of its cultural context." Stoning women to death because they have a job is not "culturally acceptable" to Me: it's a sign of lunacy. Becoming a martyr for Allah in order to get served by 72 virgins is to Me barely one step below drinking Drano to relieve constipation. I believe in no religion...but I support believing in some more than others.

And which do I support? The ones I see helping people day-to-day. The ones that make a difference in the lives of their believers. Not based on the group, but based solely on the ones I meet. So if My friend is Baptist and is happy with her life, productive and engaged, then I support that. For her. Same with Catholics, Methodists, Buddhists and Adventists...that I know. For them and everyone else, believe what you want, and I will do or not do the same. But for those who think lizards "seeded" the Earth and pay tons of money to find that hairy chestnut out, or those who think the New World could hold a huge unknown civilization in a distant jungle, only to find out later that the jungle was explored and nothing was found, but they still believe that hairy chestnut anyway, and for others whose beliefs strain My tolerance to indifference: buzz off. You're all loony.

And Butthead, with a spiritism center in the Dominican Republic: Buzz off now. Go there. Take your witch doctor with you and leave Us the hell alone.

Now, Let's see...Tackled sexual orientation, religious beliefs, what else...okay, one more: Independentistas are like Gollum.

Stay tuned.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

[Update: 1 August 2010: And did I mention polygamy and rape as part of the Mormon "culture"?]

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