The banking cabal has asked the government to "Separate politics and the economy" for the good of Puerto Rico.
Tee. Hee.
That's like Judas decrying the use of silver for coins or Enron complaining about lackluster accounting procedures. Banking and the government are so entwined that they are virtually Siamese twins joined at the groin. And they are incestuous.
Remember, this is a country with a dominant central bank--Banco Popular--and lesser lights joining it because it has the muscle to make things happen. Doubt that? Okay, check and see who spearheaded the following banking changes: insurance sales, high-rate personal loans and maximum mortgage consolidation. Yep, Banco Popular. And who benefited most from these changes? Go ahead: Guess. Wait! Another hint: They practically own the personal loan and mortgage markets locally. Okay, now guess.
Now, check out who dominates ATM processing, credit cards, construction loans and small business loans. Uh-huh: Banco Popular. Now add to this the related item of holding the largest total of former Section 936 funds (tax break profits that fueled Puerto Rico for decades) and you have an 800-pound gorilla leading a pack of baboons into a massive den of squirrely monkeys. The end result: Some serious shit is gonna fly.
And guess who's the "fan" being hit in this mon(k)ey pit?
When the local economy is running at 30 mph, very few of Us give a tinker's damn if banks are making money or treating Us like cattle. But let the economy drop to its current 15 mph slowdown and you get all sorts of complaints, many of them aimed at banks. And though some people have tried to convince Me otherwise, the complaints against the banking industry are entirely justified.
Three indisputable points have kept My conclusion intact:
1) Most banking industry monies in Puerto Rico are invested outside of Puerto Rico. There's a dual cause here: Major corporate funds using Puerto Rico as a conduit back to Company Headquarters and the limited local investment panorama when compared to U.S. or international markets. I don't criticize banks for making this latter decision: Their job is to make money for shareholders. What I do criticize is that they (the banks) make no effort to truly develop the local investment panorama, using their political influence almost entirely for shareholder profit. Here's a tip, banking baboons: Shareholder profit AND local development are a high effort-high gain combination and only you can keep it from being high-risk.
2) When one bank dominates consumer, construction and government fiscal processes, you have a Third World--dependent--economy and the ideal framework for corruptive practices. Banco Popular or its subsidiary/partner network dominate all three. Our government is corrupt. By extension, so is the banking industry. It's simply the natural result of being congroined (conjoined at the groin.)
3) If We are not a Third World economy because of a central dominant bank, then what makes Us a Second World or even First World economy? More specifically what economic sector drives Us to have a functional economy? And the answer isn't manufacturing or pharmaceuticals or Miss Universe pageants: It's the underground economy. A gray market said to equal or even surpass the "legal" economy is what--WITHOUT A DOUBT--keeps Our economy from crashing. Now I ask you this: Does an underground economy this vast happen if government and banking are working together for the people? Argue all you want, but you know the answer: It wouldn't happen because it wouldn't need to happen.
Separate banking and politics? Puh-leeze. Bankers, shut up. If you're miffed that the flow of green is down from torrent to stream, be adults and thrash it out in house, instead of being a whiny bunch of ass-kissing simians prancing in the media. You're definitely--WITHOUT A DOUBT--part of the problem. The dare is to see if you can ever become part of the solution.
17 September 2007
14 September 2007
Hell Yeah I Waved
On the expressway, just leaving Ponce. It's a straightaway, with a slight curve to the right. A dozen cars are bunched behind a Walgreen's truck and somebody who thinks 60 is the sound barrier.
A white Porsche darts out into the emergency lane and zips forward three cars, tucking itself behind the truck. I'm thinking about the $250 fine and the odds of anyone being caught in that place at that hour. Quick look up and My rearview mirror tells Me there's a cop just coming up in the distance. A matter of seconds...
Roll another fifteen seconds and the cluster starts breaking down as slowpoke up ahead decides that maybe 58 won't kill. Going slightly downhill, with about a kilometer of road easily visible ahead, I see a brown SUV slide right, then right again--into the emergency lane.
Up ahead, a short bridge. Two cars. Five people on the bridge. A tire being changed.
The SUV is too close.
Dust kicks as the SUV speeds up, the people on the bridge unaware how close they are to disaster. With less than a hundred feet to go, the SUV cuts left and only as it passes do the people on the bridge notice what happened.
I felt the soft glow of anger against stupidity. Didn't bother to feed it: What's the point? Some idiot breaks the law, risks lives and since nothing happened, what's going to happen?
A sudden braaap answers that question. The police car has moved up behind Me and before I can switch lanes, he does. A burly policeman, easily in the 260-280 weight range, passes Me, his fingers jabbing at the dashboard.
He. Is. Pissed.
Braaaps and quick driving get him through the now-broken cluster. I look down the road and see the brown SUV, in traffic, within the speed limit, rolling along. I can't hear the final braaap, but I see the patrol car's lights flash. They look pissed, too.
The SUV pulls over and stops quickly. The policeman is pissed, as he breaks protocol and doesn't angle his car behind the SUV. Instead, he brakes hard, straight behind the other car, a visual alert that this isn't going to be a warning.
Busted.
I drove by a few seconds later.
Honked My horn. Twice.
Hell yeah, I waved. One part raspberry, one part kudos.
Let them sort it out. I know what I meant.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
A white Porsche darts out into the emergency lane and zips forward three cars, tucking itself behind the truck. I'm thinking about the $250 fine and the odds of anyone being caught in that place at that hour. Quick look up and My rearview mirror tells Me there's a cop just coming up in the distance. A matter of seconds...
Roll another fifteen seconds and the cluster starts breaking down as slowpoke up ahead decides that maybe 58 won't kill. Going slightly downhill, with about a kilometer of road easily visible ahead, I see a brown SUV slide right, then right again--into the emergency lane.
Up ahead, a short bridge. Two cars. Five people on the bridge. A tire being changed.
The SUV is too close.
Dust kicks as the SUV speeds up, the people on the bridge unaware how close they are to disaster. With less than a hundred feet to go, the SUV cuts left and only as it passes do the people on the bridge notice what happened.
I felt the soft glow of anger against stupidity. Didn't bother to feed it: What's the point? Some idiot breaks the law, risks lives and since nothing happened, what's going to happen?
A sudden braaap answers that question. The police car has moved up behind Me and before I can switch lanes, he does. A burly policeman, easily in the 260-280 weight range, passes Me, his fingers jabbing at the dashboard.
He. Is. Pissed.
Braaaps and quick driving get him through the now-broken cluster. I look down the road and see the brown SUV, in traffic, within the speed limit, rolling along. I can't hear the final braaap, but I see the patrol car's lights flash. They look pissed, too.
The SUV pulls over and stops quickly. The policeman is pissed, as he breaks protocol and doesn't angle his car behind the SUV. Instead, he brakes hard, straight behind the other car, a visual alert that this isn't going to be a warning.
Busted.
I drove by a few seconds later.
Honked My horn. Twice.
Hell yeah, I waved. One part raspberry, one part kudos.
Let them sort it out. I know what I meant.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
12 September 2007
Scandalous
A man at the bank was lauding the "great leadership" displayed by a former (as in dead) local mayor saying "There was a never a scandal around him."
I hope the bank is profiting from this idiot's feeble-mindedness.
Great leaders and scandals are not--read My lips, not--mutually exclusive. Let's examine this:
The man in the bank sees "no scandals" as evidence of great leadership. In olden days, one could reasonably equate a lack of scandal with moral rectitude and this could, in some cases. be construed as great leadership. Jump forward to the late 20th century, when media and multimedia pry into every corner and you find that Gandhi slept (as in snoring) with nubile girls, F.D.R. had a mistress, J.F.K. had numerous affairs and both Churchill and Lincoln were manic-depressives who sought to end their lives. Scandals? Maybe. Revealed in their day? No way.
Did great leaders of the past have scandals in their lives? Yes, almost all did. Does this make them less great as leaders? No. It simply makes them human.
So why are We lacking great leaders now? Is it, as the befuddled man in the bank believes, because of the enormous propensity and range of scandals We see and hear about almost daily, from fraud to corruption to sex crimes to outright criminal activity? Partially. But there's much more that that.
As for scandals and great leadership, here's the bottom line: Scandals arise from improper decisions and behavior and from the attention others place on that activity. That last bit is italicized for a reason: It makes all the difference in the world. Man A drops his pants in an airport bathroom and implies a desire for a connection (I'm smirking right now) and nobody gives a damn. Let Man A be called--oh, I don't know, say...Larry Craig--and suddenly it's a scandal. It's not just the action, it's also the reaction. And where there's more attention, there's more chance for somebody, somewhere to cry "Scandal!"
In many cases, the cry is legitimate; in many others, it is not. The ratio depends on your point of view in each case. But here's where scandal and great leadership do collide: Great leaders may have personal scandals, but stay above-board in their roles as leaders. And there's a world of difference between a personal scandal and one that involves the country at large. The first are opprobious, but seldom criminal: The second are almost always both.
For example, great leaders don't lie to benefit a few and harm the many, as in the case of the current war in Iraq. The murderous moron earned his moniker with that one.
Great leaders don't rely on polls, surveys or vox populi to make the difficult decisions, for those who do are listening only to what they want to hear.
Great leaders don't excuse their incompetence with "History will judge me" vapidity: History is now and great leaders always know that.
Great leaders take responsibility, and in the this new age of "I'm a victim," leaders who play this card simply cannot--cannot--be great.
In a perfect world, a great leader would be without scandal. But We don't live in a perfect world, and where one man's hobby is another man's scandal, avoiding scandal is a slippery ledge. No scandals in a career? Rah. But great leadership depends on what the person has done beyond that. So when I asked the man what great works the "great" mayor had done, he couldn't come up with any. Just that: No scandals.
So a man was elected to a position of ostensible leadership, spent nearly 7 seven years there and left no true mark, good or bad. That is great leadership?
Obviously not. My standards, unlike that of the Department of Education, do not "come down" in order to preserve some image of excellence. The standards remain high: What has come down is the quality of those who pursue leadership, seduced by the empty fate of media hyperattention and enslaved to their id(iocy.)
Come to think of it, that is the perfect formula for... more scandals.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
I hope the bank is profiting from this idiot's feeble-mindedness.
Great leaders and scandals are not--read My lips, not--mutually exclusive. Let's examine this:
The man in the bank sees "no scandals" as evidence of great leadership. In olden days, one could reasonably equate a lack of scandal with moral rectitude and this could, in some cases. be construed as great leadership. Jump forward to the late 20th century, when media and multimedia pry into every corner and you find that Gandhi slept (as in snoring) with nubile girls, F.D.R. had a mistress, J.F.K. had numerous affairs and both Churchill and Lincoln were manic-depressives who sought to end their lives. Scandals? Maybe. Revealed in their day? No way.
Did great leaders of the past have scandals in their lives? Yes, almost all did. Does this make them less great as leaders? No. It simply makes them human.
So why are We lacking great leaders now? Is it, as the befuddled man in the bank believes, because of the enormous propensity and range of scandals We see and hear about almost daily, from fraud to corruption to sex crimes to outright criminal activity? Partially. But there's much more that that.
As for scandals and great leadership, here's the bottom line: Scandals arise from improper decisions and behavior and from the attention others place on that activity. That last bit is italicized for a reason: It makes all the difference in the world. Man A drops his pants in an airport bathroom and implies a desire for a connection (I'm smirking right now) and nobody gives a damn. Let Man A be called--oh, I don't know, say...Larry Craig--and suddenly it's a scandal. It's not just the action, it's also the reaction. And where there's more attention, there's more chance for somebody, somewhere to cry "Scandal!"
In many cases, the cry is legitimate; in many others, it is not. The ratio depends on your point of view in each case. But here's where scandal and great leadership do collide: Great leaders may have personal scandals, but stay above-board in their roles as leaders. And there's a world of difference between a personal scandal and one that involves the country at large. The first are opprobious, but seldom criminal: The second are almost always both.
For example, great leaders don't lie to benefit a few and harm the many, as in the case of the current war in Iraq. The murderous moron earned his moniker with that one.
Great leaders don't rely on polls, surveys or vox populi to make the difficult decisions, for those who do are listening only to what they want to hear.
Great leaders don't excuse their incompetence with "History will judge me" vapidity: History is now and great leaders always know that.
Great leaders take responsibility, and in the this new age of "I'm a victim," leaders who play this card simply cannot--cannot--be great.
In a perfect world, a great leader would be without scandal. But We don't live in a perfect world, and where one man's hobby is another man's scandal, avoiding scandal is a slippery ledge. No scandals in a career? Rah. But great leadership depends on what the person has done beyond that. So when I asked the man what great works the "great" mayor had done, he couldn't come up with any. Just that: No scandals.
So a man was elected to a position of ostensible leadership, spent nearly 7 seven years there and left no true mark, good or bad. That is great leadership?
Obviously not. My standards, unlike that of the Department of Education, do not "come down" in order to preserve some image of excellence. The standards remain high: What has come down is the quality of those who pursue leadership, seduced by the empty fate of media hyperattention and enslaved to their id(iocy.)
Come to think of it, that is the perfect formula for... more scandals.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
10 September 2007
Caught Myself
I just did something I've never done before: Erase an entire post.
I'd written the whole thing, verbal darts and snarky asides galore, aimed at government workers. Then, as I re-read it to sharpen a dart or two, I realized I was...gasp...wrong.
I know!
My tirade was against those government workers who drop by The Jenius, always during working hours, to spend 20-30 seconds looking around. You see, I was going to rail against them--a full 20% of My visitors--for being cowardly, because they never leave a comment or otherwise make themselves known.
Then it dawned on Me: They don't want to because they don't have to.
Yes, they're "wasting" time and tax dollars by surfing The Jenius instead of doing their jobs, but are We talking about the average government worker? Instead of slamming blindly, it occurred to Me that the government employee who visits/reads The Jenius is definitely not average. For one, s/he has a decent if not excellent grasp of English. That right there eliminates some 50-70% of all government employees.
For another, The Jenius reader working in government is aware of the deep flaws in the system and doesn't mind My pointing them out. Said reader would also have to be politically neutral or indifferent, for I take on all parties as The Fools. In essence, I could see their visits, not as cowardly escapes from drudgery, but as excursions to an oasis.
Am I being egotistical? Look at the title of this blog: Of course I tend towards ego. But from that stance, it is just as easy to lambaste these visitors as it is to laud them; the only thing that changes is My initial thought that this group was a tiny, terrified troop. Now I see that they are, in fact, a large percentage of a dedicated coterie.
Maybe they are neither. But in the end, I walk away with a different feeling: Instead of the sour emptiness of an angry putdown, I walk away with the idea of hopeful progress. For in the end, it's all about Me, right?
The Jenius Has Spoken.
I'd written the whole thing, verbal darts and snarky asides galore, aimed at government workers. Then, as I re-read it to sharpen a dart or two, I realized I was...gasp...wrong.
I know!
My tirade was against those government workers who drop by The Jenius, always during working hours, to spend 20-30 seconds looking around. You see, I was going to rail against them--a full 20% of My visitors--for being cowardly, because they never leave a comment or otherwise make themselves known.
Then it dawned on Me: They don't want to because they don't have to.
Yes, they're "wasting" time and tax dollars by surfing The Jenius instead of doing their jobs, but are We talking about the average government worker? Instead of slamming blindly, it occurred to Me that the government employee who visits/reads The Jenius is definitely not average. For one, s/he has a decent if not excellent grasp of English. That right there eliminates some 50-70% of all government employees.
For another, The Jenius reader working in government is aware of the deep flaws in the system and doesn't mind My pointing them out. Said reader would also have to be politically neutral or indifferent, for I take on all parties as The Fools. In essence, I could see their visits, not as cowardly escapes from drudgery, but as excursions to an oasis.
Am I being egotistical? Look at the title of this blog: Of course I tend towards ego. But from that stance, it is just as easy to lambaste these visitors as it is to laud them; the only thing that changes is My initial thought that this group was a tiny, terrified troop. Now I see that they are, in fact, a large percentage of a dedicated coterie.
Maybe they are neither. But in the end, I walk away with a different feeling: Instead of the sour emptiness of an angry putdown, I walk away with the idea of hopeful progress. For in the end, it's all about Me, right?
The Jenius Has Spoken.
07 September 2007
Sometimes You Surf...
...and then sometimes you crash, heart and soul: The stories of children left in vehicles and how justice is not served, not once, not twice, not three times, but four...and counting.
Upper middle-class woman leaves her baby girl--not for the first time--in a sun-exposed vehicle. The girl dies. No charges. Strike one.
A doctor and her husband--on the same day as the above death--also leave their child in a vehicle and the child dies. No charges. Strike two.
A daycare owner leaves a child in the back seat of a parked van, is immediately arrested and charged with reckless endangerment, losing her daycare license as a result. The child suffered no harm, and in fact, was never outside of the woman's sight until the arrest. Strike three.
The same prosecutor in the same city of the first case pressed charges against a family whose daughter died after a prolonged stay in a sun-exposed car. This family is poor, so of course, the legal system "works." Strike four.
We're not doing any better here, what with three similar "forgetful" deaths in the past 24 months and nobody really knows how many other children endangered or outright harmed.
I'm turning off My computer for today--and tomorrow--and I'm simply going to play with My son and two nephews. And count My blessings, for a change.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
Upper middle-class woman leaves her baby girl--not for the first time--in a sun-exposed vehicle. The girl dies. No charges. Strike one.
A doctor and her husband--on the same day as the above death--also leave their child in a vehicle and the child dies. No charges. Strike two.
A daycare owner leaves a child in the back seat of a parked van, is immediately arrested and charged with reckless endangerment, losing her daycare license as a result. The child suffered no harm, and in fact, was never outside of the woman's sight until the arrest. Strike three.
The same prosecutor in the same city of the first case pressed charges against a family whose daughter died after a prolonged stay in a sun-exposed car. This family is poor, so of course, the legal system "works." Strike four.
We're not doing any better here, what with three similar "forgetful" deaths in the past 24 months and nobody really knows how many other children endangered or outright harmed.
I'm turning off My computer for today--and tomorrow--and I'm simply going to play with My son and two nephews. And count My blessings, for a change.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
05 September 2007
Off My Chest
---I've said this before, but here it is in writing: On October 24th, 2011, all Our computer screens will go blank except for an unerasable message that says: We have turned off the Internet. We will turn it back on when you pay us $1,000,000,000,000. Signed, Google.
---The Fools, in their insatiable lust to worship at the Altar of Idiocy, are exploring the use of electronic voting machines, or as the murderous moron calls them "reality checks" (because they block reality when you touch them.) Seeing as how the U.S. presidency was swindled twice through electronic "voting," what possible reason could The Fools have for using them? (I'm not näive: I'm stressing the point.) Take it from an expert programmer, Giles Bowkett:
Every story you see on the news about (electronic) voter fraud is an instance of corruption at work. There are no exceptions. The only way systems which handle such incredibly simple problems can malfunction so consistently and spectacularly is if they are designed to do so. It's like putting square wheels on a car. Fucking up something that simple is harder than getting it right. It takes effort. It can only happen deliberately.
Every single time a voting machine malfunctions, somebody has ripped you off. Manufacturing fradulently "malfunctioning" voting machines has become the new method of choice for undermining democracy. Every time it happens, you should put somebody in jail.
---Speaking of worshiping at the Altar of Idiocy, The Economist did its annual Democracy Index for 2007 and the U.S ranked 17th overall. (For the murderous moron in the Whitewash House and statehooders, that means 16 countries ranked better than the U.S. of part of A.) In two of the five categories--Electoral Process & Pluralism and Civil Liberties--the U.S. ranked dead last. amongst "Full Democracies." Dead. Last. Here's a hint, Fools: If you want to imitate a role model, pick a paladin, not a prevaricator. (F.t.m.m.i.t.W.H.a.s.: A hero, not a liar.)
---After dropping My "weekly" surf sites to less than 30 a week, I went on an Internet binge this week and added 31 new sites...and subscribed to 11 new e-zines. I can either look at this as "falling off the wagon" or "exploring new horizons." Hmmm...Wagon or Horizons? Horizons.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
---The Fools, in their insatiable lust to worship at the Altar of Idiocy, are exploring the use of electronic voting machines, or as the murderous moron calls them "reality checks" (because they block reality when you touch them.) Seeing as how the U.S. presidency was swindled twice through electronic "voting," what possible reason could The Fools have for using them? (I'm not näive: I'm stressing the point.) Take it from an expert programmer, Giles Bowkett:
Every story you see on the news about (electronic) voter fraud is an instance of corruption at work. There are no exceptions. The only way systems which handle such incredibly simple problems can malfunction so consistently and spectacularly is if they are designed to do so. It's like putting square wheels on a car. Fucking up something that simple is harder than getting it right. It takes effort. It can only happen deliberately.
Every single time a voting machine malfunctions, somebody has ripped you off. Manufacturing fradulently "malfunctioning" voting machines has become the new method of choice for undermining democracy. Every time it happens, you should put somebody in jail.
---Speaking of worshiping at the Altar of Idiocy, The Economist did its annual Democracy Index for 2007 and the U.S ranked 17th overall. (For the murderous moron in the Whitewash House and statehooders, that means 16 countries ranked better than the U.S. of part of A.) In two of the five categories--Electoral Process & Pluralism and Civil Liberties--the U.S. ranked dead last. amongst "Full Democracies." Dead. Last. Here's a hint, Fools: If you want to imitate a role model, pick a paladin, not a prevaricator. (F.t.m.m.i.t.W.H.a.s.: A hero, not a liar.)
---After dropping My "weekly" surf sites to less than 30 a week, I went on an Internet binge this week and added 31 new sites...and subscribed to 11 new e-zines. I can either look at this as "falling off the wagon" or "exploring new horizons." Hmmm...Wagon or Horizons? Horizons.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
03 September 2007
Blogging Self-Analysis
Three lists about blogging and how I stack up against them.
The first two are common mistakes made by bloggers. The first list, from Kevin at Blogging Tips, refers to newbie bloggers. That ain't Me, but let's check it out:
· Repeating what other bloggers are saying - MAYBE. I quote, but My rants are unique.
· No Opinion / Scared to rock the boat - NOPE. No point doing this unless you take a clear stand.
· Link Trains - NOPE. Hate them.
· Spamming other blogs with comments - NOPE. They're on their own.
· Spending more time commentating that writing posts - NOPE. See above.
· Promoting their blog before its ready - NOPE. I don't promote it much. As for "ready"....
· Blogging about too many subjects - MAYBE. "Puerto Rico" is a broad subject.
· Erratic posting frequency - MAYBE. I stick to M-W-F, but write any day of the week.
· Trying to make money instead of just concentrating on running a good blog - NOPE!
· Expecting to have a successful blog within 3 months - NOPE!
Then over at Goal Success Blog, Brad Isaac adds these other 10 mistakes. Grading Me yields:
+ Getting into the mindset that a post should be a certain length and never exceeding or going below that length. -- NOPE. But size does matter...
+ Not spending adequate time proofing for errors and readability. -- MAYBE. The Picky Grammar Lady catches Me...and should help out Brad, too.
+ Giving up the first month. -- HA!
+ Not building a community by responding to comments. -- NOPE. I answer almost all.
+ Not writing every day (notice I didn't say posting) writing - this blogging stuff takes practice. -- NOPE. I write 6 days a week and sometimes I even read it.
+ Writing in a dry tone, no personality. You need to sell yourself baby! -- NOPE. But then again, I'm a Jenius! I don't need no stinkin' selling job!
+ Making the blog's subject too broad: Welcome to the Food blog. -- YEAH. But I try to stay within My self-defined "Puerto Rico" boundaries. Not successful all the time...
+ Not seeking out similar blogs to market to. -- YEAH. Don't care to.
+ Blogging negatively about the company they workED for. -- N/A. Unless you count a couple of My recent posts...
+ Not thinking through what they want from their blog before they begin it. -- MAYBE. I wanted a place to explore, discuss and vent My thoughts. I got the "explore" and "vent" parts right.
Finally, Robin Good weighs in on professional bloggers, often self-proclaimed blowhards who think they are in some way superior to the rest of you poor slobs. Here's his list in How I Recognize a Professional Blogger:
--Open-minded: CHECK. I'll listen to anybody's stupid opinion.
--Curious: CHECK. I don't know enough yet. Maybe by tomorrow.
--Humble: HA!
--Perseverant: CHECK. I prefer "Determined," but it ain't My list.
--Responsible: CHECK. I'm not perfect, but I do step up.
--Picky: CHECK. And from a blogging perspective, I have a Picky Grammar Lady, too!
--Committed: CHECK. I am, and many feel I should be. (hahahahahahahamental)
--Passionate: CHECK. You can't say you're aware of the world and remain indifferent.
--Professional: CHECK. I work freelance: I'd better be.
--Skilled real-time collaborator: CHECK. See above.
--Honest: CHECK. But I'd like to be more open about several things...
--Open to listen: CHECK. Sometimes I'm all ears, at others I'm a mouth on Pause; could improve.
So here's a question to other bloggers: How would you do on these lists?
The Jenius Has Spoken.
The first two are common mistakes made by bloggers. The first list, from Kevin at Blogging Tips, refers to newbie bloggers. That ain't Me, but let's check it out:
· Repeating what other bloggers are saying - MAYBE. I quote, but My rants are unique.
· No Opinion / Scared to rock the boat - NOPE. No point doing this unless you take a clear stand.
· Link Trains - NOPE. Hate them.
· Spamming other blogs with comments - NOPE. They're on their own.
· Spending more time commentating that writing posts - NOPE. See above.
· Promoting their blog before its ready - NOPE. I don't promote it much. As for "ready"....
· Blogging about too many subjects - MAYBE. "Puerto Rico" is a broad subject.
· Erratic posting frequency - MAYBE. I stick to M-W-F, but write any day of the week.
· Trying to make money instead of just concentrating on running a good blog - NOPE!
· Expecting to have a successful blog within 3 months - NOPE!
Then over at Goal Success Blog, Brad Isaac adds these other 10 mistakes. Grading Me yields:
+ Getting into the mindset that a post should be a certain length and never exceeding or going below that length. -- NOPE. But size does matter...
+ Not spending adequate time proofing for errors and readability. -- MAYBE. The Picky Grammar Lady catches Me...and should help out Brad, too.
+ Giving up the first month. -- HA!
+ Not building a community by responding to comments. -- NOPE. I answer almost all.
+ Not writing every day (notice I didn't say posting) writing - this blogging stuff takes practice. -- NOPE. I write 6 days a week and sometimes I even read it.
+ Writing in a dry tone, no personality. You need to sell yourself baby! -- NOPE. But then again, I'm a Jenius! I don't need no stinkin' selling job!
+ Making the blog's subject too broad: Welcome to the Food blog. -- YEAH. But I try to stay within My self-defined "Puerto Rico" boundaries. Not successful all the time...
+ Not seeking out similar blogs to market to. -- YEAH. Don't care to.
+ Blogging negatively about the company they workED for. -- N/A. Unless you count a couple of My recent posts...
+ Not thinking through what they want from their blog before they begin it. -- MAYBE. I wanted a place to explore, discuss and vent My thoughts. I got the "explore" and "vent" parts right.
Finally, Robin Good weighs in on professional bloggers, often self-proclaimed blowhards who think they are in some way superior to the rest of you poor slobs. Here's his list in How I Recognize a Professional Blogger:
--Open-minded: CHECK. I'll listen to anybody's stupid opinion.
--Curious: CHECK. I don't know enough yet. Maybe by tomorrow.
--Humble: HA!
--Perseverant: CHECK. I prefer "Determined," but it ain't My list.
--Responsible: CHECK. I'm not perfect, but I do step up.
--Picky: CHECK. And from a blogging perspective, I have a Picky Grammar Lady, too!
--Committed: CHECK. I am, and many feel I should be. (hahahahahahahamental)
--Passionate: CHECK. You can't say you're aware of the world and remain indifferent.
--Professional: CHECK. I work freelance: I'd better be.
--Skilled real-time collaborator: CHECK. See above.
--Honest: CHECK. But I'd like to be more open about several things...
--Open to listen: CHECK. Sometimes I'm all ears, at others I'm a mouth on Pause; could improve.
So here's a question to other bloggers: How would you do on these lists?
The Jenius Has Spoken.
31 August 2007
Net Notes
Five years ago, I was surfing an average of 70 websites a day and receiving 63 e-zines a week. I was spending about 6 hours a day reading web-based material, snipping, clipping and filing digitally, racking up bookmarks by the dozens, My interests ranging from e-commerce to sports to technology, writing, politics, literature, philosophy, web trends, games, history, cooking and trivia.
That was then. Just yesterday I reduced my e-zine subscriptions to only 3 and My Opera Speed Dial start page has only 7 windows filled (of 9.) My weekly reading is down to 20-25 sites once or twice a week and though I websurf every day, it's down to an hour, maybe two, 4-5 times a week.
Given where I was five years ago, the dropoff is understandable: I didn't have a life. I went at everything through the Internet in maniacal frenzy because I didn't feel I had anything else to sustain Me. Sad, but ruefully true.
Now I have a better balance and what's more, less need to prove I am "aware" of all things Internet. So imagine My surprise when I encounter a couple of items square in the middle of My much-narrowed focus:
---The U.S. is preparing to invade Iran shortly after September 11th, and
---A major stock market collapse is expected at roughly the same time.
Okay.
The Internet is perfect for conspiracy theorists, but except for the occasional stop at El Nuevo Día's website, I don't mingle with the lunatic fringe. What strikes Me as off this time is that, given the level of involvement I now have Internet-wise, these two predictions are smack-dab in the middle of My tunnel vision.
That's a likely possibility if My tunnel vision were aimed at politics or at the murderous moron defecating the Oval Office. But it isn't. My tunnel vision is...eclectic, for lack of a better word. I meander mostly through Metafilter, Madville, Fark and BoingBoing, all excellent sites but not exactly The Economist, Foreign Policy and The New York Times. So what's going on?
The sense that something big is about to blow. And like with all conspiracy theories--or spot-on predictions--once you "see" it, you can pick out the threads that weave up to the moment.
Do I think the U.S will invade Iran in the coming month? Maybe. I wouldn't put it past the military shirker and political smirker with the highly-deserved low approval rating. He's practically wiped his ass with the Bill of Rights and the Constitution, so why not take another criminal action against humanity?
As for a stock market collapse, hell yeah it's coming. Artificial or just part of the natural cycle of the economy, somebody's gonna take a bath and a few are gonna rake it in.
Of course, the true conspiracy theory is that those who push for the war and those who rake in riches when the bubble bursts are one and the same. My new tunnel vision doesn't follow that rabbit down any holes, nor do I care to. I have enough to keep Me occupied elsewhere on the Web, and more importantly, in My Life.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
That was then. Just yesterday I reduced my e-zine subscriptions to only 3 and My Opera Speed Dial start page has only 7 windows filled (of 9.) My weekly reading is down to 20-25 sites once or twice a week and though I websurf every day, it's down to an hour, maybe two, 4-5 times a week.
Given where I was five years ago, the dropoff is understandable: I didn't have a life. I went at everything through the Internet in maniacal frenzy because I didn't feel I had anything else to sustain Me. Sad, but ruefully true.
Now I have a better balance and what's more, less need to prove I am "aware" of all things Internet. So imagine My surprise when I encounter a couple of items square in the middle of My much-narrowed focus:
---The U.S. is preparing to invade Iran shortly after September 11th, and
---A major stock market collapse is expected at roughly the same time.
Okay.
The Internet is perfect for conspiracy theorists, but except for the occasional stop at El Nuevo Día's website, I don't mingle with the lunatic fringe. What strikes Me as off this time is that, given the level of involvement I now have Internet-wise, these two predictions are smack-dab in the middle of My tunnel vision.
That's a likely possibility if My tunnel vision were aimed at politics or at the murderous moron defecating the Oval Office. But it isn't. My tunnel vision is...eclectic, for lack of a better word. I meander mostly through Metafilter, Madville, Fark and BoingBoing, all excellent sites but not exactly The Economist, Foreign Policy and The New York Times. So what's going on?
The sense that something big is about to blow. And like with all conspiracy theories--or spot-on predictions--once you "see" it, you can pick out the threads that weave up to the moment.
Do I think the U.S will invade Iran in the coming month? Maybe. I wouldn't put it past the military shirker and political smirker with the highly-deserved low approval rating. He's practically wiped his ass with the Bill of Rights and the Constitution, so why not take another criminal action against humanity?
As for a stock market collapse, hell yeah it's coming. Artificial or just part of the natural cycle of the economy, somebody's gonna take a bath and a few are gonna rake it in.
Of course, the true conspiracy theory is that those who push for the war and those who rake in riches when the bubble bursts are one and the same. My new tunnel vision doesn't follow that rabbit down any holes, nor do I care to. I have enough to keep Me occupied elsewhere on the Web, and more importantly, in My Life.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
28 August 2007
E(lsewhere)-Loan
This won't take long...
Those of you sitting in the Continental 48 and Pacific-touching 2 can access a lil ol' website called E-Loan. Been around a while, has developed a schizoid reputation for excellence in service and screw-the-pooch heavy-handedness. (Do your own research: You'll see.)
The basic premise of E-Loan is that of its myriad competitors: Invert the bank-client relationship for common loans. The usual, traditional, historical bank loan relationship is that of powerful overlord versus hat-in-hand petitioner. Banks acting like they own the world and the little people sweating out the bank's carnivalesque profiteering. All legally proscribed, of course.
Then comes this thing called the Internet and power shifts to the client, the consumer, the click-to-leave user who can cross borders in an instant. Suddenly, banks find it useful to compete for clients anywhere. Theoretically, consumers benefit when "banks compete for your business," as an E-Loan rival sloganeers.
Back in 2005, who buys E-Loan for about $300 million? Popular, Inc. Based in Illinois.
But if you clicked on the link, you're way ahead of Me... because Popular, Inc. is none other than Banco Popular de Puerto Rico, the largest local bank and a steaming pile of offal blocking the parkway of progress of Our people. Long story short: They make Our economy a virtually-centralized, one-bank-to-rule-them, Third World sumphole.
Ya think E-Loan was bought to offer the power of the people to Us? By a bank that has majority or near-majority control locally of mortgages, car loans, construction loans, personal loans, high-interest loans, credit cards and ATM transactions, as well as government transactions?
Ya think?
The Jenius Has Spoken.
Those of you sitting in the Continental 48 and Pacific-touching 2 can access a lil ol' website called E-Loan. Been around a while, has developed a schizoid reputation for excellence in service and screw-the-pooch heavy-handedness. (Do your own research: You'll see.)
The basic premise of E-Loan is that of its myriad competitors: Invert the bank-client relationship for common loans. The usual, traditional, historical bank loan relationship is that of powerful overlord versus hat-in-hand petitioner. Banks acting like they own the world and the little people sweating out the bank's carnivalesque profiteering. All legally proscribed, of course.
Then comes this thing called the Internet and power shifts to the client, the consumer, the click-to-leave user who can cross borders in an instant. Suddenly, banks find it useful to compete for clients anywhere. Theoretically, consumers benefit when "banks compete for your business," as an E-Loan rival sloganeers.
Back in 2005, who buys E-Loan for about $300 million? Popular, Inc. Based in Illinois.
But if you clicked on the link, you're way ahead of Me... because Popular, Inc. is none other than Banco Popular de Puerto Rico, the largest local bank and a steaming pile of offal blocking the parkway of progress of Our people. Long story short: They make Our economy a virtually-centralized, one-bank-to-rule-them, Third World sumphole.
Ya think E-Loan was bought to offer the power of the people to Us? By a bank that has majority or near-majority control locally of mortgages, car loans, construction loans, personal loans, high-interest loans, credit cards and ATM transactions, as well as government transactions?
Ya think?
The Jenius Has Spoken.
24 August 2007
The Art of (Business) War
Local supermarket chain Pueblo, dominant for over a decade in the grocery industry, has been largely sold to Econo, a local chain of cooperative supermarkets. A couple of ironies stand out in this transition.
One is that Pueblo was often regarded as a "mega-chain", similar to Walgreen's or Wal-mart and thus subject to visceral rejection by some business organizations and, of course, its competitors. Local chains Grande and Amigo were amongst the loudest voices of protest against Pueblo's ham-fisted expansion strategy, not only because it threatened to create a virtual supermarket monopoly in San Juan, but because it was fueled by Venezuelan--outsider--money.
Funny how Amigo, the self-proclaimed "voice of the small market" folded like a cheap shirt when Wal-mart came with open checkbook and bought them lock, stock and pickle barrel. That finally made Amigo a truly major player in the grocery industry...because of mega-chain outsider money.
The second irony is that Econo is not really a chain, it's a co-op. Recognizing that the power of small markets was being eroded rapidly by big-box chains--primarily Pueblo--Econo was formed and stepped up its efforts to create a better playing field for its members. it took a pro-active stance and took to the field with it. And look what happened: Econo won. The unity of the small toppled the giant. I wonder what Gulliver would say.
True, Pueblo shot itself in the foot by trying to expand into everything (Blockbuster, cafeterias, even in-store pharmacies), but it shot itself in the head by being a lousy partner to its suppliers. For years, Pueblo acted like a venomous constrictor, apparently in imitation of Wal-mart, squeezing lower prices and increasingly-favorable terms to bolster its bottom line. But Pueblo failed to grasp the simple logic of "increasing value": If you don't make business better for those you squeeze, you create an army of insiders working against you.
Pueblo lurched and staggered and in the end, most of it has died with empty shelves, quiet stores and tepid interest in what's to come. Meanwhile, Econo's success is another slap in the face of the whiny attitude that sniffles "We can't compete against the big guys!"
Yes, businesses fail when a larger competitor comes to town. However, local businesses can and do win simply by focusing on three basic principles:
1) Know Us better than they do: If someone comes to My town and knows more about what My customers want than I do, then it's My fault if I can't compete.
2) Find allies and help them succeed: We have a tendency to combine two stupid attitudes into one major idiocy. We criticize Cubans and Dominicans for coming here and (a) working their asses off to get ahead and (b) giving each other a hand to foster growth. We act like they're cheating and scoff at their "clannish, idiotic overexertion," while at the same time We bitch about how they came here with nothing and now have successful businesses, with the house and car and lifestyle that go with that. Here's a newsflash, people: We're the clannish idiots.
3) Plan and execute with focus: Yes, We plan, but generally in the way children select their occupations as adults. In other words, We dream, fantasize or just think wishfully. Yes, We plan, but unless that plan is backed by focused execution--and by focused execution I mean having a large component of #2 above--it will increase its chances of failure. We often act like it's all "Little old Us against Big Meanie Them," but then ignore the "Us" in favor of "Little old Me." (Yes, I mean you, Centro (Des)Unido de Detallistas.) Instead of seeing the power of unity, We perpetuate the negative power of self-pity.
Is the battle against often larger and better-funded "commercial armies" easy? No. But Sun Tzu pointed out some interesting ideas some 2,400 years ago:
To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself...Hence the skillful fighter puts himself into a position which makes defeat impossible, and does not miss the moment for defeating the enemy.
One can look at business as commercial warfare. If a person does--and in this mega-chain vs. local businesses We do--then We have to be the skillful fighters instead of the sniveling whiners. (Yes, I mean you, Centro (Des)Unido de Detallistas.)
The Jenius Has Spoken.
One is that Pueblo was often regarded as a "mega-chain", similar to Walgreen's or Wal-mart and thus subject to visceral rejection by some business organizations and, of course, its competitors. Local chains Grande and Amigo were amongst the loudest voices of protest against Pueblo's ham-fisted expansion strategy, not only because it threatened to create a virtual supermarket monopoly in San Juan, but because it was fueled by Venezuelan--outsider--money.
Funny how Amigo, the self-proclaimed "voice of the small market" folded like a cheap shirt when Wal-mart came with open checkbook and bought them lock, stock and pickle barrel. That finally made Amigo a truly major player in the grocery industry...because of mega-chain outsider money.
The second irony is that Econo is not really a chain, it's a co-op. Recognizing that the power of small markets was being eroded rapidly by big-box chains--primarily Pueblo--Econo was formed and stepped up its efforts to create a better playing field for its members. it took a pro-active stance and took to the field with it. And look what happened: Econo won. The unity of the small toppled the giant. I wonder what Gulliver would say.
True, Pueblo shot itself in the foot by trying to expand into everything (Blockbuster, cafeterias, even in-store pharmacies), but it shot itself in the head by being a lousy partner to its suppliers. For years, Pueblo acted like a venomous constrictor, apparently in imitation of Wal-mart, squeezing lower prices and increasingly-favorable terms to bolster its bottom line. But Pueblo failed to grasp the simple logic of "increasing value": If you don't make business better for those you squeeze, you create an army of insiders working against you.
Pueblo lurched and staggered and in the end, most of it has died with empty shelves, quiet stores and tepid interest in what's to come. Meanwhile, Econo's success is another slap in the face of the whiny attitude that sniffles "We can't compete against the big guys!"
Yes, businesses fail when a larger competitor comes to town. However, local businesses can and do win simply by focusing on three basic principles:
1) Know Us better than they do: If someone comes to My town and knows more about what My customers want than I do, then it's My fault if I can't compete.
2) Find allies and help them succeed: We have a tendency to combine two stupid attitudes into one major idiocy. We criticize Cubans and Dominicans for coming here and (a) working their asses off to get ahead and (b) giving each other a hand to foster growth. We act like they're cheating and scoff at their "clannish, idiotic overexertion," while at the same time We bitch about how they came here with nothing and now have successful businesses, with the house and car and lifestyle that go with that. Here's a newsflash, people: We're the clannish idiots.
3) Plan and execute with focus: Yes, We plan, but generally in the way children select their occupations as adults. In other words, We dream, fantasize or just think wishfully. Yes, We plan, but unless that plan is backed by focused execution--and by focused execution I mean having a large component of #2 above--it will increase its chances of failure. We often act like it's all "Little old Us against Big Meanie Them," but then ignore the "Us" in favor of "Little old Me." (Yes, I mean you, Centro (Des)Unido de Detallistas.) Instead of seeing the power of unity, We perpetuate the negative power of self-pity.
Is the battle against often larger and better-funded "commercial armies" easy? No. But Sun Tzu pointed out some interesting ideas some 2,400 years ago:
To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself...Hence the skillful fighter puts himself into a position which makes defeat impossible, and does not miss the moment for defeating the enemy.
One can look at business as commercial warfare. If a person does--and in this mega-chain vs. local businesses We do--then We have to be the skillful fighters instead of the sniveling whiners. (Yes, I mean you, Centro (Des)Unido de Detallistas.)
The Jenius Has Spoken.
22 August 2007
Points of View
If you want to make a rose garden, a field the size of baseball park is huge. If you want to build a city, a field the size of a baseball park is ludicrously small.
This analogy came from a conversation I had recently about Puerto Rico's infrastructure. The woman I was speaking to--with 15+ years of experience writing and researching telecommunications in Puerto Rico--was criticizing the people who say that We lack infrastructure. From My point of view, the people I hear saying that are the ones who live, breathe, eat and stake their livelihoods on that infrastructure...and they are right: We do lack infrastructure.
For one, We have a cultural bias, if not outright fear/disdain, for technology. I've said it before: We are "magical realism" where the U.S. and Europe are "science fiction." Ghosts and spirits don't have any use for computers.
In second place, We never had a technology boom, fueled by cash, cash and more cash, both as investment and reward. We'd LOVE to have one, but Our model is Silicon Valley and Our reality is Swamp Village.
Third, We place so much emphasis on the government to lead the way (because We are whiny children who want to be taken care of) that We then get upset when that government--operating with the carte blanche of Our vapid indifference-- screws things up royally. The case in point: Technology for education. We have done so poorly in this regard that the Federal government is withdrawing over $250 million in funding for education technology, basing the decision (rightly) on the premise that throwing good money after bad is stupid.
Imagine losing a quarter of a billion dollars in future investments when what you have at present is decidedly sub-par. How's that for leadership and performance?
Yes, We have more cell phones per capita than any other country than Italy. Is Italy a world powerhouse in economic growth?
Yes, We have a high percentage of people subscribing to cable TV and satellite access. But is that productive? Is that the technology infrastructure engine We really need?
Sadly, We still have a de facto telephone monopoly, now in the hands of a Mexican conglomerate. Will this mark the opening of affordable high-level Internet access along the lines of South Korea's almost 100% broadband access? Don't hold your breath. This same conglomerate has been largely responsible for Mexico's sub-par telecom development, though there as well as here, government corruption has played a significantly negative role.
Like I told the well-read writer, it's a matter of viewpoint. As an end-user of technology, she sees a huge field of play and wonders why it isn't enough. She is right: From her point of view, the infrastructure beyond her needs is huge. But from Our point of view, those of Us who look to propel Puerto Rico into a key-player presence on the global stage, based on Our needs, the current infrastructure is like a water can to a raging forest fire.
That same water can is perfect for a rose garden. It's a matter of point of view. But from where I stand, from where We the quixotic charge at distant windmills, there simply isn't enough. And We'd appreciate it if those who can't do anything right to help Us build what We deserve would get the hell out of the way and let Us do it.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
This analogy came from a conversation I had recently about Puerto Rico's infrastructure. The woman I was speaking to--with 15+ years of experience writing and researching telecommunications in Puerto Rico--was criticizing the people who say that We lack infrastructure. From My point of view, the people I hear saying that are the ones who live, breathe, eat and stake their livelihoods on that infrastructure...and they are right: We do lack infrastructure.
For one, We have a cultural bias, if not outright fear/disdain, for technology. I've said it before: We are "magical realism" where the U.S. and Europe are "science fiction." Ghosts and spirits don't have any use for computers.
In second place, We never had a technology boom, fueled by cash, cash and more cash, both as investment and reward. We'd LOVE to have one, but Our model is Silicon Valley and Our reality is Swamp Village.
Third, We place so much emphasis on the government to lead the way (because We are whiny children who want to be taken care of) that We then get upset when that government--operating with the carte blanche of Our vapid indifference-- screws things up royally. The case in point: Technology for education. We have done so poorly in this regard that the Federal government is withdrawing over $250 million in funding for education technology, basing the decision (rightly) on the premise that throwing good money after bad is stupid.
Imagine losing a quarter of a billion dollars in future investments when what you have at present is decidedly sub-par. How's that for leadership and performance?
Yes, We have more cell phones per capita than any other country than Italy. Is Italy a world powerhouse in economic growth?
Yes, We have a high percentage of people subscribing to cable TV and satellite access. But is that productive? Is that the technology infrastructure engine We really need?
Sadly, We still have a de facto telephone monopoly, now in the hands of a Mexican conglomerate. Will this mark the opening of affordable high-level Internet access along the lines of South Korea's almost 100% broadband access? Don't hold your breath. This same conglomerate has been largely responsible for Mexico's sub-par telecom development, though there as well as here, government corruption has played a significantly negative role.
Like I told the well-read writer, it's a matter of viewpoint. As an end-user of technology, she sees a huge field of play and wonders why it isn't enough. She is right: From her point of view, the infrastructure beyond her needs is huge. But from Our point of view, those of Us who look to propel Puerto Rico into a key-player presence on the global stage, based on Our needs, the current infrastructure is like a water can to a raging forest fire.
That same water can is perfect for a rose garden. It's a matter of point of view. But from where I stand, from where We the quixotic charge at distant windmills, there simply isn't enough. And We'd appreciate it if those who can't do anything right to help Us build what We deserve would get the hell out of the way and let Us do it.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
20 August 2007
Our New Tourism Agency
Based on My recent "new tourism slogan for Puerto Rico" post, I've pondered harder about what kind of tourism agency Puerto Rico really needs.
I'm obviously basing this on the premise that the current Tourism Company is doing a sub-par job. Let Me present some basis for that premise.
Thanks to friends Kevin Shockey and José Rodríguez, I discovered that the U.S. Virgin Islands handles their tourism efforts with $4 million, whereas Puerto Rico does it (better?) with $80 million. Ah, but Puerto Rico is bigger, you say. True, but theU.S. Virgin Islands is kicking Our (bigger) butt when it comes to how much money they generate per tourist.
For you see, even if it's government money, it must be weighed as an investment. The U.S. Virgin Islands attract more tourists per dollar and make more money per tourist than We do. Oh, and the USVI invest part of their tourism budget in paying police (better security) and solid waste management (keeping the beaches clean.)
So why are We getting Our clocks cleaned, when by most accounts, We should be the shining star of (this section of) the Caribbean?
Because Our Tourism Company is a bloated, headless coelacanth in a world of frickin' sharks with frickin' lasers on their heads.
Of the $80 million budget, some 70-75% goes to paying the salaries and benefits of the mindless drones who toil there. (That's actually lower than the 80+% average of other agencies. Woo-hoo!) That leaves about $20 million to invest in marketing Puerto Rico and improving local facilities. Should be enough to make an impact, but wait! We have no vision, no long-range plans and We hysterically embrace the folly of splitting Puerto Rico into smaller regions--smaller fish, so to speak--creating a bevy of areas that are each underfunded and thus forced to compete against the frickin' laser-wearing sharks.
We zig and zag like drunken fish hoping to secure some niche in the coral fields of travelers' minds. (I've gone way too far in My metaphors here...) Top-heavy with ignorance, subject to too many headless directives, blinded by "less is more" imagery while executing "less is less" activities and out of touch with the new realities of world travel, Puerto Rico needs a new tourism agency. So here's what it should be:
---Smaller: Yes, less can be more if, like a laser, We focus instead of dissipating. People the agency with 8-10 marketers, tech-savvy go-getters who understand that lasers are the present. (Work the metaphor, damn it.) Make technology your ally, not your wastebasket.
---Online: Forget traditional media: If you want more bang for your buck, head online. Several recent surveys have shown that 78% of all travelers use the Internet to research, plan and make arrangements for their trips. Why advertise in traditional media, where travelers at best average 26% of your audience, when you can advertise to travelers themselves?
---Information, not slogans: Nobody gives a rat's puckered ass if "Puerto Rico Does It Better," "Sideways" or "With a Frickin' Cherry On Top." What matters to travelers is what separates online from traditional media: Hard-core information. Check out any travel site and actually see your potential hotel room, or browse the forum to read what other people say about Cancun, Venice...or Puerto Rico. Notice how the phrases "Too expensive," "too dirty" and "too much hassle to go back again" appear in relation to Puerto Rico. One is too many; to see several is heart-breaking. And to know Our much-lauded craptacular Tourism Company isn't capable and won't do anything about that is mind-blowing.
---Measure daily, not yearly: Every day visitors come to Puerto Rico. Every day people pool their hard-earned money and make decisions about where to go to spend it. Every day people dream about their vacations, many of them dreaming about tropical sunny beaches and turquoise waters (which the Tourism Company might like to know: We have them.) Every day. So what is this foolhardy focus on yearly statistics, calculated a quarter or two after the fact? Yes, annual stats provide an average, but in the "Now-Me Now!" world We inhabit, every day is the standard of measurement, not every year or so.
---Understand that tourism is growth, not graft: (Pun definitely intended.) However, what I mean by "growth" is the natural extension of who and what We are whereas graft is trying to impose a costume or style that simply isn't Us. It's the fundamental difference between honesty and deceit, between integrity to Ourselves and self-debasement to please others. The first in each case is healthy and breeds respect; the second in each case breeds contempt. Asking Us to do the second alienates visitors. Doing the first opens Our arms to the world...and the world will respond in kind.
---Make the change now: Every day, We fall further behind. Every day. It's way past time to make every day count--in Our favor.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
I'm obviously basing this on the premise that the current Tourism Company is doing a sub-par job. Let Me present some basis for that premise.
Thanks to friends Kevin Shockey and José Rodríguez, I discovered that the U.S. Virgin Islands handles their tourism efforts with $4 million, whereas Puerto Rico does it (better?) with $80 million. Ah, but Puerto Rico is bigger, you say. True, but theU.S. Virgin Islands is kicking Our (bigger) butt when it comes to how much money they generate per tourist.
For you see, even if it's government money, it must be weighed as an investment. The U.S. Virgin Islands attract more tourists per dollar and make more money per tourist than We do. Oh, and the USVI invest part of their tourism budget in paying police (better security) and solid waste management (keeping the beaches clean.)
So why are We getting Our clocks cleaned, when by most accounts, We should be the shining star of (this section of) the Caribbean?
Because Our Tourism Company is a bloated, headless coelacanth in a world of frickin' sharks with frickin' lasers on their heads.
Of the $80 million budget, some 70-75% goes to paying the salaries and benefits of the mindless drones who toil there. (That's actually lower than the 80+% average of other agencies. Woo-hoo!) That leaves about $20 million to invest in marketing Puerto Rico and improving local facilities. Should be enough to make an impact, but wait! We have no vision, no long-range plans and We hysterically embrace the folly of splitting Puerto Rico into smaller regions--smaller fish, so to speak--creating a bevy of areas that are each underfunded and thus forced to compete against the frickin' laser-wearing sharks.
We zig and zag like drunken fish hoping to secure some niche in the coral fields of travelers' minds. (I've gone way too far in My metaphors here...) Top-heavy with ignorance, subject to too many headless directives, blinded by "less is more" imagery while executing "less is less" activities and out of touch with the new realities of world travel, Puerto Rico needs a new tourism agency. So here's what it should be:
---Smaller: Yes, less can be more if, like a laser, We focus instead of dissipating. People the agency with 8-10 marketers, tech-savvy go-getters who understand that lasers are the present. (Work the metaphor, damn it.) Make technology your ally, not your wastebasket.
---Online: Forget traditional media: If you want more bang for your buck, head online. Several recent surveys have shown that 78% of all travelers use the Internet to research, plan and make arrangements for their trips. Why advertise in traditional media, where travelers at best average 26% of your audience, when you can advertise to travelers themselves?
---Information, not slogans: Nobody gives a rat's puckered ass if "Puerto Rico Does It Better," "Sideways" or "With a Frickin' Cherry On Top." What matters to travelers is what separates online from traditional media: Hard-core information. Check out any travel site and actually see your potential hotel room, or browse the forum to read what other people say about Cancun, Venice...or Puerto Rico. Notice how the phrases "Too expensive," "too dirty" and "too much hassle to go back again" appear in relation to Puerto Rico. One is too many; to see several is heart-breaking. And to know Our much-lauded craptacular Tourism Company isn't capable and won't do anything about that is mind-blowing.
---Measure daily, not yearly: Every day visitors come to Puerto Rico. Every day people pool their hard-earned money and make decisions about where to go to spend it. Every day people dream about their vacations, many of them dreaming about tropical sunny beaches and turquoise waters (which the Tourism Company might like to know: We have them.) Every day. So what is this foolhardy focus on yearly statistics, calculated a quarter or two after the fact? Yes, annual stats provide an average, but in the "Now-Me Now!" world We inhabit, every day is the standard of measurement, not every year or so.
---Understand that tourism is growth, not graft: (Pun definitely intended.) However, what I mean by "growth" is the natural extension of who and what We are whereas graft is trying to impose a costume or style that simply isn't Us. It's the fundamental difference between honesty and deceit, between integrity to Ourselves and self-debasement to please others. The first in each case is healthy and breeds respect; the second in each case breeds contempt. Asking Us to do the second alienates visitors. Doing the first opens Our arms to the world...and the world will respond in kind.
---Make the change now: Every day, We fall further behind. Every day. It's way past time to make every day count--in Our favor.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
17 August 2007
Not-So-Random Thoughts
---Yes, I'm the #1 result for success starts now. (Sans quotes, as you can see.) Makes Me pause to ponder this more deeply...
---My warmest spit to Visa, whose new ad campaign extolls as a virtue the urge to shorten your life span and die in poverty all at the same time! With another whizzing-whirring cavalcade of images, Visa preaches that "Fast food needs fast money" or some such ratshit. Here's a thought, Visa: I eat good food and save money. And here's another: Eat Me.
---About the recent fatal shooting incident involving the local police, two more nauseating additions: Another unarmed citizen was shot just a few miles from My house and in a televised interview, the president of the local police union basically smiled his inane way through the questions as a defense of the policemen involved. I repeat: It's not that there's a substantial minority of legal thugs roaming Our streets, it's that so many of their "brethren in blue" protect them.
---It's about time I owned up to the fact that My predicted "four horse" (Sorry, equines...) race for governor in 2008 is missing one: Willie "Let's Sue the U.S." Miranda. He didn't cast his hat into the ring and given his age, may not get the chance in 2012. There is, however, a three horse race involving not one, not two, but three horse's asses. The more things change...
---I don't know why I bring this up: Geico has five--FIVE!--TV campaigns running simultaneously. These are the cavemen series (soon to be a TV show); the gecko series; the "average person represented by a celebrity series"; the "I just saved 15% with Geico" series and the most recent one, with the surly boy dreaming of being the Geico-sponsored race car driver. For those of you who are into this stuff, can you name any other company that featured so many distinct ad campaigns at one time? Some might say it's a waste of money, some might say it's overkill, but I see a company willing to take chances about getting their message to "stick." In any case, the five campaigns are notably creative and some ad execs can be proud of being consistently successful.
---To the acquaintance who suggested I should stop criticizing statehooders because they "know the U.S. just as well as you and don't have your 'second-class citizen' mentality," here's a response, now that you're sober: You lived in the U.S for 7 years, in Texas and visited three other states. You categorically averred that you wouldn't take the Deep South--where I lived for 10 years--because "They are hateful people." Well, here's a newsflash, Drunkie: They think worse of you. I know because I've heard, seen and discussed it with them. And what's fairly evident in the Deep South runs quietly in the Midwest, Upper West and New England. And guess who gets to approve "your" petition for statehood, if you ever descended so low as to make one? Take a hint: Crawl back into your drink and leave the thinking to those of Us who haven't killed half Our brains in alcohol.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
---My warmest spit to Visa, whose new ad campaign extolls as a virtue the urge to shorten your life span and die in poverty all at the same time! With another whizzing-whirring cavalcade of images, Visa preaches that "Fast food needs fast money" or some such ratshit. Here's a thought, Visa: I eat good food and save money. And here's another: Eat Me.
---About the recent fatal shooting incident involving the local police, two more nauseating additions: Another unarmed citizen was shot just a few miles from My house and in a televised interview, the president of the local police union basically smiled his inane way through the questions as a defense of the policemen involved. I repeat: It's not that there's a substantial minority of legal thugs roaming Our streets, it's that so many of their "brethren in blue" protect them.
---It's about time I owned up to the fact that My predicted "four horse" (Sorry, equines...) race for governor in 2008 is missing one: Willie "Let's Sue the U.S." Miranda. He didn't cast his hat into the ring and given his age, may not get the chance in 2012. There is, however, a three horse race involving not one, not two, but three horse's asses. The more things change...
---I don't know why I bring this up: Geico has five--FIVE!--TV campaigns running simultaneously. These are the cavemen series (soon to be a TV show); the gecko series; the "average person represented by a celebrity series"; the "I just saved 15% with Geico" series and the most recent one, with the surly boy dreaming of being the Geico-sponsored race car driver. For those of you who are into this stuff, can you name any other company that featured so many distinct ad campaigns at one time? Some might say it's a waste of money, some might say it's overkill, but I see a company willing to take chances about getting their message to "stick." In any case, the five campaigns are notably creative and some ad execs can be proud of being consistently successful.
---To the acquaintance who suggested I should stop criticizing statehooders because they "know the U.S. just as well as you and don't have your 'second-class citizen' mentality," here's a response, now that you're sober: You lived in the U.S for 7 years, in Texas and visited three other states. You categorically averred that you wouldn't take the Deep South--where I lived for 10 years--because "They are hateful people." Well, here's a newsflash, Drunkie: They think worse of you. I know because I've heard, seen and discussed it with them. And what's fairly evident in the Deep South runs quietly in the Midwest, Upper West and New England. And guess who gets to approve "your" petition for statehood, if you ever descended so low as to make one? Take a hint: Crawl back into your drink and leave the thinking to those of Us who haven't killed half Our brains in alcohol.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
15 August 2007
Bullies in Blue
I heard about it days after the fact. Comes from not watching the noxious effluvia known as "local news" or even reading the ad-heavy wastepaper that passes for daily journalism.
A man was directing traffic to help party-goers reach a young lady's 15th birthday celebration. A group of policemen intervene, forcing the man to stop his activity. He protests verbally and is physically forced to the ground. He is attacked, tries to defend himself and ends up seated, his back to a wall. He is restrained--his hands free of any threatening weapons. Suddenly, one of the policemen fires a shot into the man's head...then another and more. The man is killed instantly.
The sequence is captured on a phonecam; it's been up on the Internet for days. The policeman--if such a term can be used for animals--has a history of domestic violence and disciplinary problems. His body language after firing the final fatal shot was that of someone finished with a routine, if distasteful, task. That's the way I see it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Based on just the incident itself, what We have is a man engaged in an activity he is not authorized to do, but is done by dozens of non-authorized people every day. Just today, in My only trip into town, a delivery truck driver was directing traffic to help other drivers go past the truck or enter the nearby bank's parking lot. Although it's against the law, doing this to help others isn't a crime, it's a courtesy.
Four policemen are visible in the video. Four. To handle what is at worst a minor disturbance in suburbia. True, the police risk their lives every day in the uncertainty of the apparently-routine, but does that justify such a "show of force"? Four policemen, wearing sidearms and bullet-proof vests, need to approach one man?
A main reason for this aggressive display is that the local men in blue are seen as bullies...and by and large, that's what they are. Yes, the now-dead man did protest airily, his body language defiant. But he was not engaging in a crime, had been subdued and in any case--in any case--did not deserve to be shot to death. What killed him was a bully, an all-too-common product of a police force built on giving thugs and would-be abusers a gun to shoot with, a club to strike with and a badge to make it almost legal.
For decades I've heard stories of police abuses, often small incidents where a gun was used to threaten, or a baton was unsheathed to dent a car. Many women I know are afraid to have their car stall and see a police car drive up. Domestic abuse and murder-suicide is higher in the local police force than in any other segment of the population. They have the gun. They have the badge. They lack the intelligence, integrity and dignity to use them wisely.
If I paint with a broad brush, I'm guilty of over-generalizing, but the problem cannot be swept away--again and again--as simply "a minority," so I use the broadest brush to make the statement A change is needed.
It isn't a minority, because the majority tolerate and may even encourage the actions and sins of this minority. It isn't a minority because the system facilitates and even institutionalizes the minority. Where else can you become--and remain--a gun-toting law enforcer with just a high-school diploma? What other system tolerates multiple disciplinary actions--some of them crimes--such as the case with this killer "cop"?
Low wages and low standards attract the marginal, the unbalanced, the ones who can't find anywhere else to fit in. The solution isn't raising wages: You'd only be rewarding the large minority of ne'er-do-wells already entrenched in the system. The solution is raising standards--and holding everybody accountable to them, veterans and rookies alike. Then, when higher standards are met, raise wages, enough so that the average policeman and policewoman don't need a second job to make ends meet.
Nothing can be done to save a man's life; what proceeds now is to punish the killer and send him to jail, where he'll learn the meaning of karma. Until then, the local Police had better take off their mirrored sunglasses and take a long hard look at who they are and what they have become. For if they don't, they will find themselves in a very lonely place, with nowhere to fit in.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
A man was directing traffic to help party-goers reach a young lady's 15th birthday celebration. A group of policemen intervene, forcing the man to stop his activity. He protests verbally and is physically forced to the ground. He is attacked, tries to defend himself and ends up seated, his back to a wall. He is restrained--his hands free of any threatening weapons. Suddenly, one of the policemen fires a shot into the man's head...then another and more. The man is killed instantly.
The sequence is captured on a phonecam; it's been up on the Internet for days. The policeman--if such a term can be used for animals--has a history of domestic violence and disciplinary problems. His body language after firing the final fatal shot was that of someone finished with a routine, if distasteful, task. That's the way I see it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Based on just the incident itself, what We have is a man engaged in an activity he is not authorized to do, but is done by dozens of non-authorized people every day. Just today, in My only trip into town, a delivery truck driver was directing traffic to help other drivers go past the truck or enter the nearby bank's parking lot. Although it's against the law, doing this to help others isn't a crime, it's a courtesy.
Four policemen are visible in the video. Four. To handle what is at worst a minor disturbance in suburbia. True, the police risk their lives every day in the uncertainty of the apparently-routine, but does that justify such a "show of force"? Four policemen, wearing sidearms and bullet-proof vests, need to approach one man?
A main reason for this aggressive display is that the local men in blue are seen as bullies...and by and large, that's what they are. Yes, the now-dead man did protest airily, his body language defiant. But he was not engaging in a crime, had been subdued and in any case--in any case--did not deserve to be shot to death. What killed him was a bully, an all-too-common product of a police force built on giving thugs and would-be abusers a gun to shoot with, a club to strike with and a badge to make it almost legal.
For decades I've heard stories of police abuses, often small incidents where a gun was used to threaten, or a baton was unsheathed to dent a car. Many women I know are afraid to have their car stall and see a police car drive up. Domestic abuse and murder-suicide is higher in the local police force than in any other segment of the population. They have the gun. They have the badge. They lack the intelligence, integrity and dignity to use them wisely.
If I paint with a broad brush, I'm guilty of over-generalizing, but the problem cannot be swept away--again and again--as simply "a minority," so I use the broadest brush to make the statement A change is needed.
It isn't a minority, because the majority tolerate and may even encourage the actions and sins of this minority. It isn't a minority because the system facilitates and even institutionalizes the minority. Where else can you become--and remain--a gun-toting law enforcer with just a high-school diploma? What other system tolerates multiple disciplinary actions--some of them crimes--such as the case with this killer "cop"?
Low wages and low standards attract the marginal, the unbalanced, the ones who can't find anywhere else to fit in. The solution isn't raising wages: You'd only be rewarding the large minority of ne'er-do-wells already entrenched in the system. The solution is raising standards--and holding everybody accountable to them, veterans and rookies alike. Then, when higher standards are met, raise wages, enough so that the average policeman and policewoman don't need a second job to make ends meet.
Nothing can be done to save a man's life; what proceeds now is to punish the killer and send him to jail, where he'll learn the meaning of karma. Until then, the local Police had better take off their mirrored sunglasses and take a long hard look at who they are and what they have become. For if they don't, they will find themselves in a very lonely place, with nowhere to fit in.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
13 August 2007
A Brief Educational Observation
My son is a 61-pound second grader.
His book bag--when fully loaded with the school's required texts, notebooks and paraphernalia-- weighs 37 pounds
Thirty-seven pounds.
The book bag is more accurately described as a rolling monstrosity for it is essentially a piece of luggage, just bigger than carry-on, and it is but one of dozens clack-clattering along the hallways and sidewalks of the school. A school with staircases. And narrow doors.
So here's My point: Is the new educational system (hahahahahahahahahaha) (Sorry, I just had to laugh...) based on having students carry 60% of their body weight to fully participate in the learning (hahahahahahahaha) (Ditto...) experience?
If that is so, then We have a truly winning combination. As the tide of overweight adults and children increases, We have a way to force them to exercise their flabby selves into shape. Hefty smart students and fat dumb ones would both benefit from this amazing insight into Mens sana in corpore sano...though the dumb ones would still fail at the mens part.
The skinny nerdy ones (like The Jenius) would benefit from not only smashing grade curves and ruining teacher dispositions but also by being able to flaunt a lightweight book bag. It might even be, forsooth, something as wispy as a briefcase, a jaunty statement that would combine intellectual arrogance with "I'm no beast of burden" joie de vivre.
And what about the skinny dumb ones, who would neither benefit from the new educational (hahahahaha) system and its benefits (hahahahahaha) of mind- and body-building? Why, We let them grow up to run for governor of Puerto Rico.
Just like We do now.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
His book bag--when fully loaded with the school's required texts, notebooks and paraphernalia-- weighs 37 pounds
Thirty-seven pounds.
The book bag is more accurately described as a rolling monstrosity for it is essentially a piece of luggage, just bigger than carry-on, and it is but one of dozens clack-clattering along the hallways and sidewalks of the school. A school with staircases. And narrow doors.
So here's My point: Is the new educational system (hahahahahahahahahaha) (Sorry, I just had to laugh...) based on having students carry 60% of their body weight to fully participate in the learning (hahahahahahahaha) (Ditto...) experience?
If that is so, then We have a truly winning combination. As the tide of overweight adults and children increases, We have a way to force them to exercise their flabby selves into shape. Hefty smart students and fat dumb ones would both benefit from this amazing insight into Mens sana in corpore sano...though the dumb ones would still fail at the mens part.
The skinny nerdy ones (like The Jenius) would benefit from not only smashing grade curves and ruining teacher dispositions but also by being able to flaunt a lightweight book bag. It might even be, forsooth, something as wispy as a briefcase, a jaunty statement that would combine intellectual arrogance with "I'm no beast of burden" joie de vivre.
And what about the skinny dumb ones, who would neither benefit from the new educational (hahahahaha) system and its benefits (hahahahahaha) of mind- and body-building? Why, We let them grow up to run for governor of Puerto Rico.
Just like We do now.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
10 August 2007
One Game, One More Moment
Last Saturday, I played My first full-court basketball game in over seven years. A "Fathers vs. Coaches" game for the local basketball league, I'd been concerned about it since late June. I wanted to play so My son and nephews could see what I've been preaching in terms of playing the game, but years of inactivity preceded by a couple of decades' worth of strains, sprains and fractures--product mostly of an obsessively-competitive nature--had sapped the confidence of My earlier life.
As I practiced with the boys and added an extra day or two to My exercise routine, I could feel the strain. Physically, I couldn't do the things I once did. Mentally, I couldn't accept these very real limitations. And emotionally, I was--am--driven to do My very best. As gameday approached, the strain increased.
I spent hours applying ice to My left knee, then several more hours wrapping it in heat. I would fall asleep thinking about what I could do in the game, then fighting off the bitter disappointment that the list was so damned short. That Saturday, We got to to the court to the news that Our town's mayor, barely 49 years old, had died that dawn. One minute of silence that lasted 20 seconds and the games began.
My nephews played first and got beaten by 20. I told them to shrug it off, that they had done their best. The two Parents teams were organized, the Coaches team got set and after a coin flip to determine the order of play for the Parents, We won. My team would play first.
Later, I was told that the grandstand was buzzing...and it wasn't good for Us. The Parents team was surprisingly filled with several 40- and 50-somethings, pot-bellied grayhairs who'd last played maybe last century. The Coaches, mostly in their 20s, played weekly, if not daily. They were also taller, except for a 5-foot plug with the unlikely nickname of "Pili."
As We set up for the tipoff, I noticed Pili edging towards his basket. At the time, I hadn't heard him mouth off, saying he'd score the first basket of the game and be the star. All I knew was that he was trying to get a cheap early score. I shaded his way and waited for the tipoff.
Sure enough, the ball came to Pili and he turned towards his basket. I sprinted after him, knowing he hadn't noticed Me. One large step behind him, I jumped--he tried a layup--and I thunder-spanked the ball on My way down.
The grandstand erupted. The roar was explosive, viscerally unabashed and morphed into that crowd-based jumble of reactions that comes after sudden release. I was cool. I tracked down the ball, tossed it to a grinning ref and came back onto the court to play defense. My teammates were grinning, too. I knew what I'd done, but the game...the game... And yet, I did break into a grin when My cousin Luis came over and blurted out "That was fucking awesome!"
Three minutes later, I scored on a jumpshot, a free-flowing, comfortable shot that went down as so many others used to. The score at that point was 10-6, Coaches.
Half an hour later, as I rotated from guarding the ball-handler all the way down the court to the shooter on the far left side, lunging to block his shot, the whistle sounded. The game...the game...was over, and We'd lost 51-27. It wasn't as close as the score might indicate.
I scored 4 points, grabbed 2 rebounds, had one assist and two turnovers, playing almost 3/4 of the game. I focused on defense to try to stop the myriad scorers on the Coaches team. Pili had the last laugh, the game's high scorer with 12 points from behind the arc. And in the major buzz about the blocked shot, My best play--a backboard tip-pass off an errant alley-oop that came back via brilliant behind-the-back pass for a score--went unnoticed. C'est le jeu.
And what about My son and nephews, for whom I played the game to give them a chance to see how I played? They missed it all, intent on Nintendo and their own basketball doings. C'est la vie.
In the end, though winded 5 minutes into the game, My legs held up enough to apply full-court pressure as the final seconds ticked away. We lost, there's no getting around that; not for Me. And in the end, as people talked about the blocked shot and didn't even know it was Me they were talking about, I had to admit it: It was great.
It was great to do something in a game to make the audience turn to each other with a "Did you see that?" excitement on their faces. I haven't had an infinity of those moments, but I've had My fair share. I know I'll have more.
I really hope I do.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
As I practiced with the boys and added an extra day or two to My exercise routine, I could feel the strain. Physically, I couldn't do the things I once did. Mentally, I couldn't accept these very real limitations. And emotionally, I was--am--driven to do My very best. As gameday approached, the strain increased.
I spent hours applying ice to My left knee, then several more hours wrapping it in heat. I would fall asleep thinking about what I could do in the game, then fighting off the bitter disappointment that the list was so damned short. That Saturday, We got to to the court to the news that Our town's mayor, barely 49 years old, had died that dawn. One minute of silence that lasted 20 seconds and the games began.
My nephews played first and got beaten by 20. I told them to shrug it off, that they had done their best. The two Parents teams were organized, the Coaches team got set and after a coin flip to determine the order of play for the Parents, We won. My team would play first.
Later, I was told that the grandstand was buzzing...and it wasn't good for Us. The Parents team was surprisingly filled with several 40- and 50-somethings, pot-bellied grayhairs who'd last played maybe last century. The Coaches, mostly in their 20s, played weekly, if not daily. They were also taller, except for a 5-foot plug with the unlikely nickname of "Pili."
As We set up for the tipoff, I noticed Pili edging towards his basket. At the time, I hadn't heard him mouth off, saying he'd score the first basket of the game and be the star. All I knew was that he was trying to get a cheap early score. I shaded his way and waited for the tipoff.
Sure enough, the ball came to Pili and he turned towards his basket. I sprinted after him, knowing he hadn't noticed Me. One large step behind him, I jumped--he tried a layup--and I thunder-spanked the ball on My way down.
The grandstand erupted. The roar was explosive, viscerally unabashed and morphed into that crowd-based jumble of reactions that comes after sudden release. I was cool. I tracked down the ball, tossed it to a grinning ref and came back onto the court to play defense. My teammates were grinning, too. I knew what I'd done, but the game...the game... And yet, I did break into a grin when My cousin Luis came over and blurted out "That was fucking awesome!"
Three minutes later, I scored on a jumpshot, a free-flowing, comfortable shot that went down as so many others used to. The score at that point was 10-6, Coaches.
Half an hour later, as I rotated from guarding the ball-handler all the way down the court to the shooter on the far left side, lunging to block his shot, the whistle sounded. The game...the game...was over, and We'd lost 51-27. It wasn't as close as the score might indicate.
I scored 4 points, grabbed 2 rebounds, had one assist and two turnovers, playing almost 3/4 of the game. I focused on defense to try to stop the myriad scorers on the Coaches team. Pili had the last laugh, the game's high scorer with 12 points from behind the arc. And in the major buzz about the blocked shot, My best play--a backboard tip-pass off an errant alley-oop that came back via brilliant behind-the-back pass for a score--went unnoticed. C'est le jeu.
And what about My son and nephews, for whom I played the game to give them a chance to see how I played? They missed it all, intent on Nintendo and their own basketball doings. C'est la vie.
In the end, though winded 5 minutes into the game, My legs held up enough to apply full-court pressure as the final seconds ticked away. We lost, there's no getting around that; not for Me. And in the end, as people talked about the blocked shot and didn't even know it was Me they were talking about, I had to admit it: It was great.
It was great to do something in a game to make the audience turn to each other with a "Did you see that?" excitement on their faces. I haven't had an infinity of those moments, but I've had My fair share. I know I'll have more.
I really hope I do.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
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