02 July 2008

We're Number 2!

Something called the World Happiness Survey came out and Puerto Rico slipped from Number 1 to Number 2, upended by Denmark, where drugs are legal and prostitutes display themselves in public windows.

Oh, wait, that's Amsterdam. But it's closer to Denmark than We are, so thus they are happier.

Then again, another such survey says that Nigeria is actually Number One. Nigeria? Are they serious? In that survey, Mexico ranks Number Two and Puerto Rico Number Five. Mexico is nice, but mariachi music always makes My teeth ache.

Then there's a study that says that "world happiness is rising," implies that (a) We are happier; (b) We are caught up in the idea of being happier or (c) We're deluding Ourselves.  I vote for a combination of -b- and -c-, with a dash of paprika for that exotic twist.

According to that "rising happiness" survey, the fastest rising level of happiness is seen in India. That bodes well for a country of 1.2 billion people speaking some 350+ languages and dialects, engaging in religious strife and possessing nuclear weapons. I say We encourage them to be happier!

As far as We go in terms of happiness, it seems inextricably linked to getting on an airplane and booking the hell out of here. Why else do We have so many of Us leaving Our emerald pearl (just work with Me here, okay?) and fleeing for the much-less-happier U.S. of part of A.? 'Cuz none of the happiness surveys ranks the U.S any higher than 14th and most place it in the middle of the pack.

So. Are We happy here or are We happy because We can go there? Let's ask a Dane in Nigeria who's traveling to India. She should know.

The Jenius Has Spoken.


Anonymous said...

I always find these surveys laughable.

Maybe the people asking the questions and doing the ranking should live here and pay an electric bill for one month. LOL! Or try and find a decent job, then come back and rank this place as the happiest or the second happiest place on the planet.

Anonymous said...

You do not a carajo of Genious.

GCSchmidt said...

Undear Anonymous: You are an Idiot, only you'd spell it "Eedeyot."

Anonymous said...


[Te escribo este comentario en español porque me parece que así tanto, las personas que leemos tu blog, como las masas ignorantes (lease turbas penepés) puedan entenderlo.]

Estuve varias horas examinando el comentario del anónimo. Pues me parece interesante que el anónimo haya ido tan lejos como aventurarse en un lenguaje que obviamente no conoce para comunicarse contigo. Estudié detenidamente todas y cada una de las palabras que tuvo a bien el anónimo a acotar. Y establecí una hipótesis sobre lo que quiso decir. Comprobé la hipótesis mediante un meticuloso estudio de los foros donde comúnmente se reúnen estos especímenes (aquellos que han evolucionado tanto como para utilizar la Internet). Bueno pues, que me siento sumamente confiado en poder traducir el mensaje del anónimo en una oración coherente. Aquí va:

"Tu, de genio, no tienes un carajo."

Lo traduje al español para que el propio anónimo sepa que fue lo que dijo...

Unknown said...

The sad thing is that afreytes is right. The vast majority of pro statehood politicians and government officials can't read this post. They want to join the USA but they don't even know the language.
The fact that we celebrate July 4 boggles the mind.

GCSchmidt said...

Thanks to The Information Soldier for gently hammering a spudhead. And Gabriel, it always--always--pisses Me off to hear a pro-statehooder who's visited the Bronx for a week and Disney World two times try to tell Me--who's lived in several states of the U.S. and traveled a dozen more over a 20-year period--HOW the U.S. REALLY is, and WHY the U.S. will give Us statehood. I've learned to think of them as cockroaches trying to describe how a nuclear reactor is built.