22 July 2009

Facts in Five (Minutes)

Facts We should be looking at:

The current local swine flu "super-catastrophic-apocalyptic-doom" epidemic has claimed fewer lives--3--than the number of people shot since the headlines went insane: 7.

The local legislature--a latrine in the same spot would be more useful and morally fragrant--has spent more hours debating their own consulting contracts than tending to health and education issues.  

The local Department of (Mis)Education is headed for a shakedown of "chief heads rolling" level. Proof: (non)governor Luis "The Larva" Fortuño has stopped using education as a topic to divert attention and the DoE itself has stopped seeking to get into the news. 

According to a Civil Defense report, issued in May of this year, the level of preparedeness Puerto Rico has for a major hurricane is "5" on a scale of 1 to 10. How bad is "5"? A "10" means that 80% of the people injured or displaced by a hurricane are tended to with food, shelter and medical help within 48 hours. A "5" means 60% of the "refugees" would be left to fend for themselves for as long as 10 days. The estimate of "refugees" in a Category 4 storm that hits the Island head-on is estimated at 45,000 to over 600,000, depending on the level of flooding and shore damage.

From the same report: Number of the 78 local Municipalities that are rated "7" or higher: 0. Number rated "1" or "2": 16.

Tax revenues are declining again, far more than ever projected by government wartheads incapable of spelling "projections." As the sales tax revenues drop even faster, the pressure on the government to slash costs increases only slightly less than the nerve of The Fools to find new tax revenues. Some targets: homeschooling (pay again to keep your child out of public schools), cell phone usage (under the notion that "minutes" are actually a "product"... I swear The Fools need large doses of rat posion) and--ta da!--flea markets.

And kudos to anyone who recognizes the origin of this post's title (related to a couple of letters: AH.)

The Jenius Has Spoken.

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