24 July 2009

Pro-Statehood FAIL

Like The Da Vinci Code and UFOs and Donald Trump's sorry head adornment, way too many people feel they have a right to emit an opinion on the topic, often by throwing in any tangential nuance they feel can be wispily connected to the subject and thus claim for themselves a mountaintop of intellectuality only they--or bigger idiots--can see.

Example: About The Da Vinci Code--a second fictionalization of a story told in Holy Blood, Holy Grail--I overheard a person say, with absolute aplomb: "Mary Magdalene wrapped her babies in the Shroud of Turin to remind them who their father was."


The "loony bin magnet" topic We have in Puerto Rico--and especially out in the U.S. of part of A.--is statehood for the Isle of Enchantment. I'm already on record as saying "Not happening ever." Now I can add "Book it." But in UFOlogy fashion, the weirdos and cranks come out and there's no other choice but to set them straight.

Case in point: Julia Torres Barden writing in that hotbed of geopolitical analysis known as Latina Magazine. Ms. Torres comes out in favor of statehood for Puerto Rico, which is okay. (She is entitled to wish for that, world peace and cars that run solely on nice thoughts, as well.) The problem comes from her, uh...well, arguments, leaving no doubt she came with Kool-Aid to a whiskey party.

"...I cannot accept the inaction of Congress, especially while nations like Cuba, Venezuela and Iran have testified in support of the island’s fringe independence movement during anti-colonialism hearings at the United Nations."

 You...cannot...accept Congresional inaction because Cuba (twitch), Venezuela (spasm) and Iran (gut-wrenching cramp) have come out in favor of Our independence? Let Me see if I can put it in Latina terms you might--possibly--maybe--understand: You want the local deli to serve pizza, but the deli owner's three money-grubbing, frigid, ball-busting, screeching ex-wives bitch about serving pizza to him all the time. And he HATES pizza. Good luck.

So you are advocating that the U.S of part of A. Congress pay attention to three fringe countries it has severed diplomatic relations with or keeps at arm's length, debating only occasionally in a non-jurisdictional forum (look it up) in order to give credence to a "fringe independence movement" of an island-nation that hasn't ever made up its mind and that is a pillar of your pro-statehood argument?

Why didn't you throw in the Shroud of Turin, for Christ's sake?

The rest of your argument is equally unsound, but not as pathetic. Calling Puerto Ricans "second-class" citizens is like calling Latina women "chubby": it might apply, but it depends on each person's viewpoint. I think a second-class citizen is one who writes goofy arguments about serious sociopolitical issues in third-rate fluff mags.

But that's just Me.

As to the argument that Our People fought in many U.S. of part of A. wars (the specious "We paid in blood for statehood" error), look around you at what Puerto Rico has and know that We defend the liberty We have--and continue to have--because it is Ours. And allow Me to point out that We have done it and continue to do it better than almost anyone else in the whole U.S. of part of A.

And as for the idea that mainland Puerto Ricans push for "voting rights" and statehood, why don't you suggest that the French push for Quebecois independence? They definitely want it, they speak, feel and often are French, so why don't the French rally to get their Quebecois brethren the independence they often cry out for?

Because it's a matter between Quebecois and Canadians. In other words, you "Nuyoricans" who can't spell the name of the town "Manatí" and probably get sick at the notion of living in Puerto Rico can learn from the French and just keep your opinions to yourself. If you really gave a damn about Puerto Rico, you would push for statehood here, not up in the "NuYores." 

Sitting on the sidelines and coughing out inanities is not the way to build a country. Or even a magazine. You just end up looking like the wispy roadkill on The Donald's noggin.

The Jenius Has Spoken.


Anonymous said...

Great post!

However, I don't see any difference between "I think a second-class citizen is one who writes goofy arguments about serious sociopolitical issues in third-rate fluff mags." and "someone who calls himself a jenius and writes a blog on the intertubez". Just found that one bit odd.

Otherwise, great post.

GCSchmidt said...

heeheehee That was the point: anyone could call anyone else "a second class citizen," but as Abe said about this practice subject: "Calling a tail a leg doesn't mean a lamb has five legs."

Maybe I should call Abe "a second class President" because he didn't complete his second term...

Anonymous said...

Great rebuttal to the article by Julia Torres Barden. One point - Luis Fortuno didn't pan out as a good choice of Governor! I visited my family's home town of Moca recently and was didn't find any "second class" citizens there.
I saw proud and hard working people - something that many mainlanders don't understand - pride and hard work.
I - for one - am tired of the misinterpretation of Puerto Ricans - on island and mainland - by part-time "Nuyoricans". Live on the island for a while and experience what you think you are an expert in and THEN comment on statehood!