The Get Out Movement

[Jenial Thanks to Janine Mendes-Franco, of Global Voices Online, for selecting two posts, about Our rising emigration and the changes in Our inner voice.]



What kind of voter movement would make the biggest difference in Our deteriorating PanoRama?

First, what would a voter movement be and is one needed? Taking the last question first: crime up, murders way up, education dropping even more than its Third World rating would predict, corruption up, jobs down, economy tanking, government bond debt limit reached, government credit rating dropping, stupid political leaders playing kissie-assie with each other, emigration rising... If anyone thinks the current sewage dump of """leaders""" is going to change their thieving, me-first bullshit, then they are retarded and should not vote.

As for why a voter movement and not some other "peaceful" process: short of a violent overthrow and non-existent recall solutions, the simplest and most direct path to change Our (non)government is through the elections. Since every electoral office is up for grabs every 4 years, the only real chance We have to make minimal or wholesale changes is at the ballot box.

Moving on. The voter movement I envision would obviously have to cross party lines, galvanize abut 350,000 - 425,000 votes and focus on taking out entrenched Fools.

Why?

1) Cross party lines: The average voter wants to feel that his or her vote "wins" in some way. Appealing to only one party or ideology group will cause the average voter (species name: Voticus ignoramus) to fear that their vote will "be wasted." Of course, they don't see that voting for anyone already elected is "wasting" their vote because those already in power are parasites living off Our indifference.

2) Galvanize 350,000-425,000 voters: The average election in Puerto Rico has about an 85% turnout and that means about 1.8 million votes cast. Twenty percent of that number is 360,000, a substantial number that will cause all Fools to take the voter movement extremely seriously. Especially when the movement focuses on point 3...

3) Taking out entrenched Fools: There are folks in Our government that have the morals of an opium fiend with the willies, the ethical standards of a child-molesting priest and the intellectual development of week-old gumbo. Yet these scumbuckets are making decisions about Our economy (crashing), Our education (crashed), Our taxes (crushing) and thus Our future (crushed.) For that privilege, We are paying many of them salary and benefit packages that are simply ridiculous when compared to Our averages: mayors making over $100,000 a year, legislators making over $110,000, Cabinet officials over $190,000 and even support staff is making over $80,000. And what about consultants making over $125,000 on each of two or three "legitimate" contracts?

By attacking the incumbents, the voter movement automatically becomes one "of change, for change." Rather than attack all the incumbents, a series of targets are selected, primarily from the legislature. (Folks, I don't capitalize words for institutions I don't have at least a modicum of respect.) To make the biggest change, targets from each major party are selected and the criteria are simple: Those holding key legislative positions (president, vicepresident, speaker of each chamber, etc.) and those with the longest incumbencies (long-term parasites.)

A quick scan means that media tumors and crap merchants like Jenniffer "Gluttonny" González and Tomás "Mad Dog" Rivera would be targeted alongside commonwealth party tapeworms like Antonio "You Haven't Caught Me" Fas and José "I Look Up to Tapeworms" Varela. As the statehood party currently controls the legislature, there will be more names from that party than from the other, but that's how these changes work: by targeting those who have the most to lose.

In that sense, all legislators elected "by accumulation," i.e., not tied to any senatorial or representational district, are the best targets, for they are often """party leaders""" who use their ""widespread mandate""" to fuck Us. (Notice the absolute lack of quotation marks around fuck Us. Twice.)

Also amongst the targets are certain mayors, who have become entrenched to the point of idiocy. Two examples are Carlos "I'm A Businessman Like the Mafia Is a Brotherhood" Méndez, of Aguadilla and José "City Hall Is My Closet" Rodríguez, of Mayagüez. Why them? because they've been in that chair for over 12 years; their time is past, if it ever was.

The voter movement would focus on kicking out incumbents, targeting them with direct questions, deep analysis of their shortcomings and raising awareness of how utterly useless these high-profile, long-squatting pisspots are. Rather than trying to change the entire political system, the voter movement would narrow its focus to a true leverage position: shaking the foundation of the most ambitious and entrenched.

Nothing strikes more fear into the heart of a Fool--more so than an F.B.I. badge--than a voter group that the Fool cannot buy. A voter movement aimed at knocking off incumbents, that crosses party lines in order to make changes happen, is a powerful force: when that force is applied well, it makes change inevitable.

And once the voter movement proves its worth, it need only target other high-profile, long-squatting smegmacups to make them pay attention to Us. Because that's the whole point of this voter movement: to make the Fools understand that they work for Us and that We hold the power, not them.

A name? Okay, how about Junta Electoral Nacional Independiente Organizada: JENIO.

Yeah, I know that's "Jenius" in Spanish, but it does have a certain ring to it, dissonant yet affecting.

However, for populist appeal, We could go with Movimiento Pa' Fuera, the Get Out Movement.

I know, Brethren: the trilling rhythms of "¡Pa' fuera, pa' la calle!" are already ringing in your ears...


The Jenius Has Spoken.