09 August 2006

Four-Part Harmony

Part The First: Echoing a previous post, The Jenius once again reigns supreme in Google searches for "bat snot."

I know: you're impressed.

And for good measure, the top two results in "how to learn pessimism" mention Yours Truly. Not that they should, but they do.

Please hold your applause until the end.

Part The Second: Yesterday, an otherwise brilliant person used the following "defense" for the fecal-filled senator who invited a known drug dealer to visit prisons during official senate visits: "The guy (drug dealer) was never convicted in court, so under the presumption of innocence, there's no reason to be going after the senator."

Ha. And let me add: hogswill.

But then...it got worse. The otherwise brilliant gentleman went on to say that "The senator simply invited one of his constituents. He was representing one of his constituents and thus had the right to invite him to see the work being done."


Yes, the now-dead drug dealer was never convicted in court. But under the "Duck Corollary' (If it walks, talks and looks like a duck...) the guy was obviously a drug dealer. And in any case, his being gunned down on the street is more a "Miami Vice" murder mystery than a "Miss Marple" tea-cozy puzzler and that's exactly how the police are treating it.

Al Capone was never found guilty in a court of anything but tax evasion. I suppose that under My friend's insipidly-unreal """defense""" (the extra quotation marks are to denote sarcasm; get it?), Capone was not a gangster.

Furthermore, what is this about "inviting constituents" that can serve as a defense? Was a drug dealer the ONLY person this stupid-to-the-max senator could think of to invite to an inspection tour of prisons? No one else? Who does this fecal-filled fool represent then?

And on the matter of the relationship, let Me be blunt: Hector Martínez is a liar. He lied about not knowing the drug dealer, he lied about the "reason" for inviting him, he lied about not knowing what the drug dealer did for a "living"... He lied. Period.

Part The Third: My good friend José Rodríguez, of LasFinanzas.com fame, sent Me a link to Kiva, an organization that allows people to send money and help microentrepreneurs around the world. Kiva helps people in Africa, Asia, Central and South America to build a small business by pooling donations and tracking repayment.

Yes, repayment. Like the microbanks that launched an entreprenuerial revolution in India, Kiva looks to improve a person's or family's standard of living by providing start-up capital in the form of a low-interest loan. To you, $800 might be a couple days' worth of salary, but to someone in Ecuador, Bangladesh or Zaire, it's an immense amount of money and can literally change their lives forever.

I bring this up because if there's anything that Puerto Ricans do well (and the list, more positive than negative, is quite long) it is in providing aid to those in need where We truly set a high standard. Year after year, Puerto Ricans donate more money and goods per capita than the U.S. and other industrialized nations. (By and large, the G-8 are sorry givers, at the per capita level.) Hopefully, bringing Kiva to Our attention will help motivate that generous spirit to keep fueling a worldwide economic revolution, one microentreprenuer at a time.

Part The Fourth: You may applaud now.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

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