28 February 2007

Probation Period

It's that time of the year again, when Our local Thanksgiving-Christmas-Three Kings Day-Keep It Going 'til mid-January holiday marathon hangover has ended and the somber reality of being in the ham-fisted, retarded pig-brained and ethics-voided control of Fools once again sinks in.

Toss in the utterly predictable (by people of average intelligence) declining numbers of sales tax revenue, an increase in petty political infighting, rising gas prices and a stretch run to finish another fiscal year lacking in solid goals or progess and you have the return of Puerto Rico's Probation Period, the time of the year when anxiety shadows every step, options are reduced and actions tend to lead to ever-increasingly worse consequences.

Like a released con suddenly strapped into an ankle bracelet, We lumber through our daily life intensely aware of Our surroundings, as if being released from "prison" (the horrendously long Season of Denial We call Navidades) had thrust Us into a slow-motion nightmare, one with an undertone of ratcheting despair. The Fools go from overstrident to hysterical (the difference is they now spray saliva more easily), the immense pack of lumps known as "government employees" shift from neutral to "Not my job" as budget awareness and what those dwindling monies means goes from water-cooler two-hour break conversation to media fodder.

The Probation Period usually lasts from March to May, but due to the dull spinelessness of the jellyfish governor Aníbal Acevedo and the "Stupid Rossells hand-up-the-ass" puppetry of house president José Aponte, last year's Probation Period dragged into July, cost Us a shutdown in the feebleness called public education and ended up being like most Probation Periods: A small recess in an otherwise consistent career of wrongdoing.

Just as We should prepare for hurricane season, We can also prepare for Probation Period. Here's how:

1) Ignore what The Fools say and carefully watch what they do. Just like experts' and non-experts' words on Bessie, David or Gilbert, it doesn't matter a flat penny what they say will happen: Only what actually happens matters.

2) Ignore the media's inane hysteria. With the exception of Mardelis Jusino, a newsreporter for a local TV channel, not one journalist had a solid take on what happened during last year's Probation Period. As most of Us rely on radio and TV to get a "feel" for events, the best bet is to do so only every other day or so until events make themselves imperative, which means only when The Fools actually make a change. If nothing actually changes, there is no imperative event, words are cheaper than dirt and the media is overhyping. (Except Ms. Jusino.)

3) Unlike a hurricane, there is no calm eye; like a hurricane, the aftermath requires Us to work hard. The chaos of a hurricane has a reason, thus it has a sense of proportion and balance. In the Probation Period, forget balance: This isn't about natural forces, but about the unnatural doing the unthinkable for unspeakable reasons. And since both a hurricane and the Probation Period are blind destroyers, it's up to Us to make things right after they've swept through Our lives.

Just as global warming contributes to stronger hurricanes so does indifference foster Probation Periods. The less We care about who We elect, the worse The Fools become. Watch them act, watch their routes and paths and motions and ignore the screams, the hot air and the debris they raise as obfuscation. Learn from their actions--they are few and far between--and make note of who cut down when the time comes.

But until then, there's work to be done to live in the wreckage of another Probation Period.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

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