21 March 2007

My Footnotes

A neighbor of Mine, upon noticing My tendency to interject remarks into the babble surrounding Me at a party, said: "There goes Gil, adding footnotes to the conversation."

Cracked Me up.

Since that's what I do (amongst many many other things), here's some footnotes to recent conversations in My presence:

--To the two men facing off about what one could do to the other by suing: * Lawyers see the law as a money-making process and courts have very little to do with justice.

--To the woman who spent $16 and told the clerk she was going to start buying $20 a week on the local Loto game, picking 6 numbers of 42 for a $2 million prize: * The odds are (41 X 40 X 39 X 38 X 37 X 36)** AGAINST you; find another retirement plan.

--To the local pumpkinhead in charge of the miseducation of Our students, Rafael "My Bow Tie is WAY Too Tight" Aragunde, who said he didn't know who his advisors are: * The phrase "trusted advisor" was coined for a reason. If you can't figure that out, resign.

--To the three men who argued for the return of Stupid Rosselló to the governor's mansion, because he will "force the U.S. to give Us statehood": * Stupid Rosselló barely forced himself into a senator's seat. The biggest thing he can force now is a bowel movement...maybe even his own.

--To the group of teachers on a sidewalk who were chattering about a march on the governor's mansion to force their union to get them better work conditions...at a time when they were supposed to be teaching: * The difference between vocation and job is the difference between competence and mediocrity. Before making demands, you should try to RISE to the level of "job" first.

The Jenius Has Spoken.
** 3,237,399,360

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Great stuff, wish you had the time and interest to dissect newspapers and other media more frequently.