26 January 2009

Fo(u)r the Future...

Here We go: Let's make some predictions!

* From Jorge "Il Castrato" De Castro's guilty plea We will see as many as four other investigations. Two will involve fellow senators, those lower-case Jerks in Office, and the other two will feature a semi-prominent business leader and a retired politician. Yes, I said a retired politician. 

* Luis "The Larva" Fortuño's ungovernorship will officially jump the shark and become a matter of open debate before the end of March, when he has to start letting trial balloons float in the press about raising taxes to "support the government's role in lifting Puerto Rico out of the economic crisis We are in," but is really a thinly-veiled attempt to buy government worker votes for his already-iffy run at 2012.

* Former nongovernor Aníbal "The Jellyfish" Acevedo will be found guilty of fraud, but will actually get the conviction overturned on appeal. The crucial hidden point? The Jellyfish will actually agree to pay back the ill-used funds and finger stateside targets for the Justice Department.  The "vindication" will fuel local commonwealth supporters to a frenzied "I told you so," which will make "The Larva" even more of nervous wimp than he is right now.

* The local Department of Education (and I was wrong, people: the senate did approve Carlos "Last Century's Con Man" Chardón for secretary and without much fuss) will not only get openly smacked by the feds for poor results, the Island will also get placed on "probation" as an example to underachieving counties in the U.S. of part of A. Uh-huh: We get to be the Unwanted Poster Children for "Straighten your educational crap out or you'll end up like Puerto Rico."

Hitting one out of four would be pretty good. Two of four would make Me prescient. When I nail all four, you'll just have to call me Jenius...

The Jenius Has Spoken.

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