05 May 2010

7 Ways We're Ahead of the U.S. of part of A.

From the often elegant pen (keyboard?) of the Business Pundit blog comes a post titled "7 Systemic Problems That are Killing America." Let's look at them, shall We?

1) Collapsing infrastructure: Roads shot to hell, water pipes leaking like punctured colostomy bags and about as healthy, lousy repair systems undermined by corruption...Yeah, the U.S. of part of A. is falling apart, but We got to paint Our infrastructure in order to tear it down. Who's ahead? Us.

2) Loss of economic independence: The U.S. of part of A. threw away its economic independence and basis of power by deciding that increasing the national debt was a great way to share the wealth amongst the hyena cabal of the murderous moron and their fecal ilk. But We, on the other hand, have never had economic independence so who's ahead? Us, by a country mile if the country is Russia.

3) The lobbyist industry: Let's be precise: it isn't lobbying, it's buying politicians. It's the game in D.C. and in state capitals across the 50, but We have a tighter strangling what with one central bank, one newspaper, one large radio network and a higher poverty level. Who's ahead? Us, gagging.

4) Obesity: Yes, fat is in, and the U.S. of part of A. leads the world in fatheads. And fat asses. But which part of the U.S. of part of A. has shown the greatest increase in fat-bellied fatalities? Same as the ones who are ahead: Us.

5) The revolving door: Politicians leaving office to come back in the side door as bigger thieves. We didn't invent the game, We perfected it what with the tighter stranglehold and all. Who's ahead? Us, by Pinocchio's nose after a 4-hour lying bender.

6) Using personal funds for campaign purposes: The post talks about the number of millionaires who get into Congress. Pig doo. Look at how many of Our fecal Fools become millionaires in office a la Il Castrao-going-to-PITA-prison. (Look it up; I hope it's 100% accurate in his case.) Ahead? Us, like Usain Bolt racing Rush "Oxycontin" Limbaugh.

7) No term limits: Senators and Representatives emulating vampiric barnacles year after year after motherhumpin' year. The U.S. of part of A. may have its 40-year wonders in Congress, but We have Our "permanent" politicians who've made the last 58 years a pain in the neck akin to having a spike slammed into the medulla oblongata, then hooked up to a terawatt taser for some 30-minute jolts every half hour. Who's ahead on this one? Us, cuz We get it coming and going.

The Jenius Has Spoken.


Kofla Olivieri said...

To be honest, I think we ought to relocate to Iraq and Afghanistan, that's where a chunk of our tax dollars is being spent to fix those third world countries.

Beato said...

Great article! The original article is focused on the US, but Puerto Rico is a completely separate league. Our inefficiency puts theirs to shame. Here corruption is a science.
One thing I noticed was that we constantly look up to the US as the maximum authority in infrastructure, yet the ASCE gives worse grades to their infrastructure system each year.
Puerto Rico has serious infrastructure issues. I guess the reaction will occur when bridges start collapsing. And the reaction will be to blame the Past Administration (TM) or the structural deficit (c).

Davsot said...

Our roads are bad, but not as bad as most of the US.

We actually have a way to maintain them. In the US, while they bicker about how to pay for maintenance, w have tolls to collect that money. A proposed toll for I-80 was torn down really quick and PR actually has tolls.

Beato said...

A system to maintain them. Good, there is an agency to manage the funding. Does this mean the roads are good? That bridges are not about to collapse? Driving thru the island tells otherwise.
Just an example. Millions upon millions of dollars are spent on something as simple as a flood control for Kennedy Avenue, yet it still floods after 20 something years.
Plus, you should see the crappy state most roads are in, especially the Caguas 52 highway.
ARRA funds are for that, but this honey pot already has names of the few priviledged that will actually get the cash...CSA is the gate keeper, AFI is the distributor.