03 September 2010

8 People We Should Exile...or Worse

Okay, seeing as how I'm not exactly in a "Love thy neighbor" mood, here's My list of the 8 people We need to kick off this Island right now, immediately or sooner, preferably with extreme prejudice and with the abosulte least amount of effort at preserving their wretched physiques:

1) Antulio Santarrosa: The freak-faced coward hiding inside an old lady...costume. A one-trick horse's ass who's been feeding the public tripe, trivia and lies for close to two decades. A disgrace who has lost court cases that prove he is a bare-faced liar and yet remains on the air because he's the turd in the bean salad of Our collective brains.

2) Marcos Rodríguez-Ema: Current chief of staff of a larva, the pig in a blanket on the buffet of stuffed tripe vermin We have wrecking havoc at all sub-human levels of Our government. A ham-headed pseudo-wannabe stormtrooper suffering from chronic hoof-in-mouth disease.

3) Richard Carrión: The Edward Smith of bank captains, only with duller buttons, propped by whitey interests (Ferré-Rangel et al), the government/banking butt buddy system and outright cronyism. Slick as shit and just as fragrant. A wilted vegetable on Our tarnished silver tray of times past.

4) Hector Ferrer: Too stupid to lead, too stupid to follow, too stupid to get the hell out of the way. A place-mat on the ransacked table of Our political system. Makes tapioca seem exotic by comparison. If he had a vision it would come from sunstroke. The next time has an idea, it will die of boredom.

5) Thomas Rivera: Thinks he's human, tries to act like one, but his acting makes Keanu look like Olivier transcendent. Thinks he can lead because he practices looking mad in the mirror. Is mad. Is not a leader. He needs to be told that adding dog piss to a bucket of vomit doesn't improve it's appeal. Then he needs to be told he's the dog piss and that the bucket of vomit is Our government. Be patient: think "old dog."

6) Kenneth McClintock: Cowboy's last name, horse's hindquarters for everything else. The plug that needs to be pulled to drain some of the latrine he's helped build. Will be pulled. Hard. Greatest talent: pure mediocrity. A tasteless burp as a leader, he'll be nothing but a gutless memory within weeks of being taken out.

7) Juan Hernández: If he grows up and becomes a man, could become Hector Ferrer. Like blanched parsley, just sits there, adding nothing, but catching the eye ever so often. When he speaks, silence is better. Has daddy's shoe imprint is tattooed on his ass and has asparagus where a spine should be. Like Hector, prefers thieves' scraps to honest work.

8) Jenniffer González: Get her before she gets Us. Has restraint only because she hasn't gotten what her greed wants. Yet. Then it would add rhino rampage to hippo hunger...with Us as the trample zone. Can't trust her as far as We could throw her...which ain't far, but should be. Very very far.

Done. And why no Luis "The Larva" Fortuño? If We kicked him off the Island, do you really think We'd notice?

That's why.

The Jenius Has Spoken.


Kofla Olivieri said...

Nice list, I'm sure a lot of folks will be happy to see them go, lol

Prometeo said...

This is the most accurate list I've seen and it doesn't fall into the cliched "10 something lists" you see around.

Made me think again Jenius.

GCSchmidt said...

Thank you both. And Prometeo, I'm happy to hear I made you think, though from what I can see, you do that often anyway.