Corruption 101

From Reddit Economics, this post, written by user Corruption101, edited and emphasized by Me:

A lot of stuff on Reddit misunderstands the relationships between wealth, power, and influence. For starters, all the above three are always and have always been inter-related, and probably always will be. And that might not always be a bad thing: those who have risen to high levels of wealth are often pretty smart, and surprisingly often exceptionally honest. Those who rise to high levels of influence usually have some pretty good insight and talent in their area of expertise. Those who have acquired a lot of power tend to be good at accomplishing things that lots of people want to see happen.

None of which is purely democratic, nor even purely meritocratic, but there is a certain dose of both kind of baked into the cake: stuff like wealth or family connections only gets you so far in modern, developed, and relatively open and transparent societies such as the US. And while that can be pretty far by normal standards, at some point sunlight does shine through any crack, and outright robbery or complete incompetence is difficult to sustain indefinitely.

But there is an awful lot of low-level waste, patronage, and corruption that happens both in the private and in the public sector.

Without going ideological, the private sector in a free-ish market has a more immediate system of checks and balances if only because you have to actually persuade the end users to keep buying your stuff for the price you're charging: if it's no good, or if you are grossly over-charging, your customers will tend to catch on sooner or later.

But in the public sector, the "consumer" often has little choice... so-called "market discipline" is a lot more diffuse when you have a former-schoolteacher-or-real-estate-broker-turned city councilman whose job it is to disburse a multi-million-dollar street-paving contract or whatever. And neither the schoolteacher nor the real-estate broker has any clue how to write or evaluate a road-paving contract...

Let's say that there are three credible bidders for that street-paving contract:

--Bidder 1 is "Paver Joe", a local guy with a driveway-paving company and three trucks who sees this as a big opportunity to expand his business and get the city to pay for five new trucks. He puts in a dirt-cheap bid that he wrote up himself with the help of his estate attorney. The cost to taxpayers is very low, but the certainty that he will complete it on schedule and as specified is a little iffy. Paver Joe plans to work overtime and bust his tail on the job, not for profits, but to grow his business. He's offering the taxpayers a great deal, but a slightly risky one. [Jenius Note: This bid often wins in small towns where the Mayor/Council are the main source of jobs in town. Think "kickback."]
 
--Bidder 2 is "Muni Paver Inc", a company who has the experience and expertise to do the job, who knows what's involved and who has done this work before. They already have the trucks, their workers are all unionized and paid "prevailing wage", everything will be done by the book, all their EPA certifications are in place, etc... The bid is a lot more expensive than Paver Joe, but it's credible and reliable. They are offering the taxpayers a degree of certainty and confidence that Paver Joe cannot match. [Jenius Note: This is the bidder that often wins when federal funds are involved, except for mega-projects. Where's the corruption, usually? Ancillary services beyond what was in the budget.]

--Bidder 3 is me, "Corruptocorp". Instead of Paver Joe's 2-page contract with typos, or Muni-Paving's 20-page contract, I'm offering the city council a full package of videos, brochures, and a 40-page contract with a price just a tad higher than Paver Joe (my quoted price is meaningless, as we will see). Moreover, I'm inviting the city council to Corruptocorp-owned suites in a golf resort near my headquarters to give my presentation (all expenses paid, of course, and of course, bring your spouses). There the city council members will, after the first day of golf, dinner, dancing, and cocktails, see a slideshow and chorus-line of smiling multi-ethnic faces and working mothers talking about how much Corruptocorp's paving improved their town and their lives. I'll then stand up and tell a self-effacing joke about being one of those corporate guys trying to get their money, and then I'll wax a bit emotional about my small-town roots and how Corruptocorp was started by a man with a simple dream to make life better for everyone, and to do well by doing good in local communities, and that we actually plan to hire local contractors such as Joe's Paving to do the work, backed (by) our economies of scale and reliability. I'll mention that paragraph 32 subsection B of our proposal mandates twice-yearly performance reviews by the city council, to of course be held at the golf resort, at Corruptocorp's expense, ("So I hope to see you all back here every February and August!"), and of course I make sure that each of them has my "personal" cell phone and home numbers in case they have any questions...

So needless to say I get the bid, and six months later it's time for our review at the golf resort. After dinner and cocktails I step up to the podium and announce that there is both good news and bad news:

"The bad news is that our subcontractor has found over 1,000 rocks in the road. And as I'm sure you know, paragraph 339 subsection D.12 specifies that any necessary rock removal will be done at prevailing wages, currently $1,500 per rock, for a total cost overrun of $1.5 million. But the good news is (and believe me, I had to fight long and hard for this with the board of directors), Corruptocorp has agreed to remove those rocks for only $1,000 apiece! So even though there have been some cost overruns, your smart decisions have saved your taxpayers half a million dollars! Give yourselves a round of applause!"

"Now, the other situation is that there has been some 'difficult terrain' as described in subsection 238b, which I'm sure you're all familiar with. And as you know, 'difficult terrain' is not covered by the contract, which is for paving, not for turning mountains into flat roads... (wistful chuckle). Now, technically, according to the contract, we should be charging your town prevailing rates for these sections, but I've worked it so that you will be allowed to re-bid them, if you wish, since our contract doesn't specifically include terrain as described in subsection 238b."

Now the contract price has doubled, and Corruptocorp has completely sidestepped all of the difficult and costly work, taking profits only on the easy stuff. The city council members can either admit that they were duped and bought (political suicide), or can simply feed Corruptocorp's line to the voters. Which do you think will happen? [Jenius Note: "Supertube," anyone? "Urban Train," anyone? "Stupid Convention Center," anyone? PPPs, when they happen, anyone?]

And it gets even worse on smaller scales: look up your local building or electrical inspector. Ten-to-one he is a relative, friend, or campaign donor to the mayor or city council. What's in it for him? Every single construction or home improvement project not only has to pay him a fee, it also has to pass his inspection. Guess which contractors are most likely to pass his inspection? His brothers, friends, family... or the cheapest guy who for some reason has a hard time finding work in this town? Guess how the local inspector feels about homeowner self-improvements: does he think they are a great way for regular people to improve their wealth with a little elbow grease, or does he see them as stealing work from his friends and family?

Plenty more to discuss and explore, but that would be Corruption 102, or as I call it here on My Island, your second week in local politics.


The Jenius Has Quoted.

Continuous Crapfest

A friend of Mine (a conspiracy theory fanatic, but a good guy nonetheless) was absolutely stunned when I told him I didn't listen to local talk radio--at all. Never have. Very surprised, he asked Me "Then how do you know what's going on?"

I answered: "I see what's happening and think for Myself."

In earlier posts I indicated I never watch local news on TV and once or twice a week I'll glance through a newspaper or surf a local news website. In essence, I don't consume what passes for mass media here because that would be like feeding on horse shit. Or its taurine counterpart. Because it doesn't matter which segment of the barnyard you chose to wallow in, it's all crap.

My friend even asked Me "But don't you write about local politics in your blog?" and I replied "Yes, and I'm right more often than you." Even though it shows My nasty competitive side, it's not only true, it has become truer as time passes, for where once he and I could debate on equal terms, My observations and arguments have gotten sharper while his...haven't.

He said (despite acknowledging the truth of My remark) that I should be listening to "Fuego Cruzado," a radio show featuring a commonwealth supporter, a statehood supporter and a waffler between independence and socialism. Sound familiar (except for the waffler)? How about I translate "fuego cruzado" as "Crossfire"? Uh-huh. Same concept. Same passel-load of horse shit, because these shows aren't about analyzing the news, they are about preaching a viewpoint.

Aside from the fact that in Our version of the verbal crapfest Jon Stewart gutted so well has folks with the collective IQ of a cardboard box--an empty, small cardboard box--the purpose of the show is not to "Let Me know what's going on" (that's called reporting), it's not to "Help Me place the events in context" {that's called analysis), no, the purpose of the show is to "Entertain each side with bullshit they want to hear." So a statehooder tunes in to hear statehood shit, a commonwealther tunes in to hear commonwealth shit and an independentista tunes in because they've got nothing else, man, nothing else but this shit. I don't care to hear shit and I've always got better things to do.

Now "Crossfire" is gone--huzzah--because its lack of clothing was pointed out by a comedian. I doubt "Fuego Cruzado" will go away, (a) because I'm not a famous comedian and (b) We are more tolerant of hypocrisy and political bullshit than CNN and (c) the decision is not based on reasoned discourse, but on money. So long as these shows have acceptable profit margins, they will thrive.

And what makes up the basis of acceptable profit margins? People who want to hear their kind of shit, every day. And those too confused to really see what's going on.

From where I sit, these shows on My Island could last longer than the Han dynasty...


The Jenius Has Spoken.

13 Stripes and 51 Stars...

Here----from Slate Magazine comes a mathe--haha--mathematician's program to create--heehee--star patterns in the--HAhahaha--event that the U.S. of part of A.----decides to add a 51st--hahaHA--state.

And it came about because of the--HAhaheehee--possibility of--hold it--Puerto Rico becoming that--hold it in--51st...state...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAh

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAheeheeheeheeheehee...

Oh I almost peed Myself there.


The Jenius Has Spoken.


[P.S.  While on the subject of visualizations related to the U.S. of part of A., take a look at these: 3 Charts That Will Break Your Heart, from uncanny Reason Magazine, and 15 Mind-Blowing Facts About Wealth and Inequality in America, from the over-pretentious SFGate. "Land of the free?" "Home of the grave (inequality)"?]

PPPathetic

When The Larva and his (non)administration made noise after flatulent noise about creating Public-Private Partnerships (PPPs), they did so with the spin that these hybrids of economic deficiency were--somehow--to become engines of economic progress. The rhetoric and plans were ambitious, the law was drafted and crafted for maximum (in-pocket) impact and the whole ball of (ear)wax was trumpeted at the beginning of 2010 with the crowning jewel glittering like a snake's pupil: the privatization of the International Airport for an estimated ONE. BILLION. DOLLARS.

The list of potential projects was whittled down from about 70 to 9 and these were presented as thingies that were to be signed sealed and delivered by March 30th so that they could start transforming Puerto Rico before what passes for Fall steams across Our shores.

It's June now and all We hear is...kerfuffle. Nada. A whole lot of status crap, some blithering idiocies about a strike (in and of itself a blithering idiocy) and the usual game of "political media swirlies" that typify Our dumbest national sport.

But in the meantime, the (non)governor's henchmen sit upon a little over $14 billion of bonds revenue, product of a debt-increasing spree that has pushed Us to the edge of having a national debt equal to Our annual GDP, a debt/revenue ratio that often spells bankruptcy. If the funds were to "pay down" high-interest debt--a good thing--then why hasn't that been done? (And statehooders, shut up: if The Larva and his maggots had done it, We would be fershlugging tired of hearing about it by now.) If the funds were for investing in infrastructure--a good thing--then why hasn't that been done? (Statehooders: ditto.) And if the funds were aimed at helping to structure PPPs, well then...kerfuffle.

Let's face it: (non)governor Luis "The Larva" Fortuño is the fifth deckhand on the garbage scow S.S. Fortaleza and if the brain-damaged crew he's allowed from Day One to walk over him and take over this wreck don't find an iceberg, they'll sink the ship anyway simply by letting it founder and sink under the weight of their own incompetence.

PPPs were never intended to build Our economy, We know that, but there's not even an attempt at making a go of them and trying to make a difference. No, they served their purpose  and now it's but a matter of keeping Our eyes peeled for when the pppathetic rats start abandoning the ship they've sunk.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

Not Near The Best, Far From The Worst

Caguas Mayor Willie Miranda died today of pancreatic cancer. Like any Fool--My pejorative term for any politician--he was not on My list of people I'd invite to dinner. But if someone held a gun to My head and forced Me to invite a Fool, he would have been invited just before dessert appeared on the table.

Willie's 12+ years in Caguas were built upon the planning and vision of another well-respected Caguas mayor, Angel Berríos. But beyond safekeeping a vision, Willie provided a set of insights all his own, moving Caguas to the forefront of trend-setting municipalities in Puerto Rico with several civic and business initiatives that transformed the city. He will probably be best remembered for introducing the 1% "Willie Tax," a precursor of the much-trashed Sales Tax. As a move to enrich Fools and the stupid games they play in lieu of government, the Willie Tax was a success. For them. For Us it was the abandonment of any attempt at sober government fiscal policy in favor of squeezing more money out of Our residents in exchange for less services overall.

But Willie didn't follow that pattern too closely. He actually improved some services in Caguas and created new venues, from the Fine Arts Center (planned by Angel, but expanded as a government center by Willie) to high-value real estate projects, the kind that Angel wasn't keen on, but Willie saw the benefit of "suburbanizing" the city as an expansion of San Juan.

Before you think I'm treading lightly because he's dead, let Me point out that, in a corrupt game, the successful (long-term) player has to participate in and benefit from the corruption. Any scenario that implies that the player--Let's call him "Willie"--rises to the top of the party crony system and remains in power for 12+ years amidst a cesspool of thieves, frauds, cheats, perverts and sociopaths and remains as pure as the driven snow is nothing but the hollow babbling of an imbecile. Willie was a successful long-term player in Our political cesspool: Willie was not pure as the driven snow. He was simply better at not exposing himself too much and thus getting caught. If that makes him a hero, it says more about Us than it does about him.

Which brings Me to Willie's biggest failing in his potential quest for transcendent political fame: he wasn't white enough. (Pun and insight intended.) I've said it before and I'll point it out again: all of Our governors have been men or woman of skin far whiter than Willie's. In fact, the only gubernatorial candidate darker than Willie since the 1950s was the PPR's Rogelio Figueroa, but in his case, the more proper term would be "candidate". Or maybe "cardboard." Really thin cardboard.

But maybe it wasn't a failing. Maybe Willie never really wanted to be the governor and felt perfectly at home in his role of Caguas Mayor. As a military man, Willie would be familiar with the concept of "career NCO" or "career staff officer," men and women for whom promotion would mean leaving behind the rank and role they love and felt best in. Maybe it was the collective yearning of his supporters that pushed him in the direction of acting like a gubernatorial candidate and he played along because he was a politician and that's what politicians do: cater to the masses. In that case, his pliancy (and here I am being polite) could have done more harm than good, as he had plenty of options to turn that support into something more insightful and influential than mere "candidacy."

He may have tried, by attempting to reframe the ubiquitously noxious status debate. However, his words lacked vibrancy and consistency, undermined, fr example, by the idea of suing the U.S. of part of A. for Our agreeing to the current contract by which they own Us and by his own inability to rise above the fray and act as a (youngish) elder statesman, someone who clearly placed the nation above party and personal politics. He could have done it, but he didn't, and therein lies his epitaph with Me.

The support he has received and will receive today and for the next few days is more pity than admiration. Willie was not at the top of an objective list of great politicians, but in that underclass of Fools, he was far from a serial bottom-feeder. And so that's My epitaph for him: Not near the best, far from the worst.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

Money Defined

Money. Basic and like so many basic things, often misunderstood. Here, from the pen of Ayn Rand in her opus Atlas Shrugged, comes a lengthy and passionately thoughtful definition of money. Rand was a crazy bitch, but she got some things very very right. This is one of them:


"So you think that money is the root of all evil?" said Francisco d'Aconia. "Have you ever asked what is the root of money? Money is a tool of exchange, which can't exist unless there are goods produced and men able to produce them. Money is the material shape of the principle that men who wish to deal with one another must deal by trade and give value for value. Money is not the tool of the moochers, who claim your product by tears, or of the looters, who take it from you by force. Money is made possible only by the men who produce. Is this what you consider evil?

"When you accept money in payment for your effort, you do so only on the conviction that you will exchange it for the product of the effort of others. It is not the moochers or the looters who give value to money. Not an ocean of tears nor all the guns in the world can transform those pieces of paper in your wallet into the bread you will need to survive tomorrow. Those pieces of paper, which should have been gold, are a token of honor— your claim upon the energy of the men who produce. Your wallet is your statement of hope that somewhere in the world around you there are men who will not default on that moral principle which is the root of money. Is this what you consider evil?

"Have you ever looked for the root of production? Take a look at an electric generator and dare tell yourself that it was created by the muscular effort of unthinking brutes. Try to grow a seed of wheat without the knowledge left to you by men who had to discover it for the first time. Try to obtain your food by means of nothing but physical motions—and you'll learn that man's mind is the root of all the goods produced and of all the wealth that has ever existed on earth..."

"...But money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. It will give you the means for the satisfaction of your desires, but it will not provide you with desires. Money is the scourge of the men who attempt to reverse the law of causality—the men who seek to replace the mind by seizing the products of the mind.

"Money will not purchase happiness for the man who has no concept of what he wants; money will not give him a code of values, if he's evaded the knowledge of what to value, and it will not provide him with a purpose, if he's evaded the choice of what to seek. Money will not buy intelligence for the fool, or admiration for the coward, or respect for the incompetent. The man who attempts to purchase the brains of his superiors to serve him, with his money replacing his judgment, ends up by becoming the victim of his inferiors. The men of intelligence desert him, but the cheats and the frauds come flocking to him, drawn by a law which he has not discovered: that no man may be smaller than his money. Is this the reason why you call it evil?

"Only the man who does not need it, is fit to inherit wealth—the man who would make his own fortune no matter where he started. If an heir is equal to his money, it serves him; if not, it destroys him. But you look on and you cry that money corrupted him. Did it? Or did he corrupt his money? Do not envy a worthless heir; his wealth is not yours and you would have done no better with it. Do not think that it should have been distributed among you; loading the world with fifty parasites instead of one, would not bring back the dead virtue which was the fortune. Money is a living power that dies without its root. Money will not serve that mind that cannot match it. Is this the reason why you call it evil?

"Money is your means of survival. The verdict which you pronounce upon the source of your livelihood is the verdict you pronounce upon your life. If the source is corrupt, you have damned your own existence. Did you get your money by fraud? By pandering to men's vices or men's stupidity? By catering to fools, in the hope of getting more than your ability deserves? By lowering your standards? By doing work you despise for purchasers you scorn? If so, then your money will not give you a moment's or a penny's worth of joy. Then all the things you buy will become, not a tribute to you, but a reproach; not an achievement, but a reminder of shame. Then you'll scream that money is evil. Evil, because it would not pinch-hit for your self-respect? Evil, because it would not let you enjoy your depravity? Is this the root of your hatred of money?

"Money will always remain an effect and refuse to replace you as the cause. Money is the product of virtue, but it will not give you virtue and it will not redeem your vices. Money will not give you the unearned, neither in matter nor in spirit. Is this the root of your hatred of money?

"Or did you say it's the LOVE of money that's the root of all evil? To love a thing is to know and love its nature. To love money is to know and love the fact that money is the creation of the best power within you, and your passkey to trade your effort for the effort of the best among men. It's the person who would sell his soul for a nickel, who is the loudest in proclaiming his hatred of money—and he has good reason to hate it. The lovers of money are willing to work for it. They know they are able to deserve it."

"Let me give you a tip on a clue to men's characters: the man who damns money has obtained it dishonorably; the man who respects it has earned it.

"Run for your life from any man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper's bell of an approaching looter. So long as men live together on earth and need means to deal with one another—their only substitute, if they abandon money, is the muzzle of a gun.

"But money demands of you the highest virtues, if you wish to make it or to keep it. Men who have no courage, pride, or self-esteem, men who have no moral sense of their right to their money and are not willing to defend it as they defend their life, men who apologize for being rich—will not remain rich for long. They are the natural bait for the swarms of looters that stay under rocks for centuries, but come crawling out at the first smell of a man who begs to be forgiven for the guilt of owning wealth. They will hasten to relieve him of the guilt—and of his life, as he deserves..."

"...Such looters believe it safe to rob defenseless men, once they've passed a law to disarm them. But their loot becomes the magnet for other looters, who get it from them as they got it. Then the race goes, not to the ablest at production, but to those most ruthless at brutality. When force is the standard, the murderer wins over the pickpocket. And then that society vanishes, in a spread of ruins and slaughter.

"Do you wish to know whether that day is coming? Watch money. Money is the barometer of a society's virtue. When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by compulsion—when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing—when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors—when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don't protect you against them, but protect them against you—when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice—you may know that your society is doomed. Money is so noble a medium that it does not compete with guns and it does not make terms with brutality. It will not permit a country to survive as half-property, half-loot..."

"...When you have made evil the means of survival, do not expect men to remain good. Do not expect them to stay moral and lose their lives for the purpose of becoming the fodder of the immoral. Do not expect them to produce, when production is punished and looting rewarded. Do not ask, 'Who is destroying the world?' You are..."

"...Until and unless you discover that money is the root of all good, you ask for your own destruction. When money ceases to be the tool by which men deal with one another, then men become the tools of men. Blood, whips and guns—or dollars. Take your choice—there is no other—and your time is running out."


The Jenius Has Quoted.

Lights (Too Often) Out

Number 11 just happened... The 11th time in the past 10 days that power has gone out at Chez Jenius.

Now I don't want to hear any excuses. This is 2010 and We've had a power grid in development since the 1940s, so there is no excuse possible. People complain about the lack of electricity when their ACs don't run (thus rediscovering that We live, in fact, on a tropical island) and when their TVs go dark (thus facing the prospect of actually thinking about what to do, for a change.) I neither use AC nor give a crap about TV except for sports: what I do care about is pathetic electrical service blinking off and on and utterly destroying not only equipment, but also undermining Our economy as well.

Now a lot of people here will resent this remark, but in terms of relying on Our grid for constant power, We're definitely edging into "Dominican" territory. For years it's been a local truism that the Dominican Republic has lousy  electrical service. It did, and in some ways, it still does. But glance across the Mona Channel and you will see not only a high-tech industrial park that kicks Us in the teeth, you will also see 5 superports.

Five. 

We ain't got one. And what do you think powers those facilities if not a reliable electrical infrastructure?

Sure, the DR has more land than We do and cheaper labor in relation to the dollar. That helps build superports and industrial parks. But no business worth its weight in cash is going to put millions of dollars in a country unless they are certain that the utilities they need are reliable. The Dominican Republic's measure up, while Ours increasingly...don't.

Now maybe the bulk of Dominicans are paying for the industrial access to electricity by being deprived of reliable and high-quality electrical service for their homes and by paying a high price to subsidize the industries. So what? We're doing the same with Our water. And I can assure you that there's a much thinner margin of capacity in Our water supply than there is in the Dominican's growing power supply.

I'm pretty sure the brownouts and blackouts have burned out some of My electrical equipment, including My highly-treasured Mac. Even the surge protector was fried by too-frequent surges. Just across the street, a young family was exploring the vacant house on sale, the real estate agent a little anxious, as this is her fifth showing of the house that I've seen, and Mammon knows the market's squeaky tight. The power went out and a generator fired up in its very familiar dull thrum. The agent's demeanor went from anxious to dull, her shoulders slumping a bit. They all talked for a moment and I heard the agent say "If you're interested in another property here in Cabo Rojo, I can find you something." The gentleman's comment was too low for Me to hear, but the agent's response was clear: "Well, it happens more in town than in the suburbs because the lines are older."

The guy didn't look convinced at all. I don't think he's buying anything here. And neither will investors who come to Our Island and find it darker than expected.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

Here, My Brethren: Learn Something

Can you pass a simple "citizenship test"? Go ahead: try. 

Why? Because you'll learn something. You see, you really don't know as much as you think you do, and as a citizen, lack of knowledge makes you a weaker citizen.

And what should you, as a citizen, know about most in this shaky U.S. of part of A.? The Constitution. It is still the basis of rule in the increasingly-fearful nation where fascism, once the greatest of evils, is now an entrenched party platform plank.

Explore The U.S. Constitution here. Go from being blind to being a Cyclops, but that one eye will make a world of difference in how you perceive the country and your role in it.

And why bother, My Brethren of this colonial property of the U.S. of part of A.? Because We are citizens by fiat and if We are to become citizens by right, We have to do it. We, people. 


We.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

Happy Birthday, Kaleb!!

You are 10 years old today, a growing boy who wins scholastic awards, including your grade's Academic Excellence Award, as well as collecting championship trophies in basketball. You make friends easily, act wiser than I (not a major compliment, but admirable nonetheless) and you make Me laugh.

I wish We had more time together, for though I have the freedom of freelancing, you don't. You are part of a game based on fear and control rather than one based on your growth and Our relationship, so the time We spend is less than it could or should be. It hurts. You deserve better as much as I.

We continue to explore the world together, for though your interests are more in the realms of technology, Mine are of the mind, so you ground Me to the latest gadgets and their uses and I launch you to think about things you never knew existed. I know sometimes that makes you uncomfortable, for you know I expect you to learn, but think about how calm and comfortable you feel when a "new" topic comes in class and you are instantly ahead of the game. The same happens in Life, which is why limiting you now based on fear is doing you no good.

You have also learned to read people in ways I don't grasp. You absorb where I classify. It lets you deal with someone as they are without you changing your ways whereas I have to choose how to engage someone based on how I perceive them. My way takes time and energy; yours seems effortless. I don't know where you got that from, because it certainly can't be genetic. I'm going to blame the elves and magic beans.

In one way, ten years seems like an instant, but I have another way of viewing it, based on what We have shared, as I spent nearly every minute of the first 1,200 days or so of your life within your presence. I said this before: I spent more time with you in those days than My dad spent with Me in My entire childhood. And he wasn't a bad father; on the contrary. But he was from a different time and We--you and I--were in different circumstances.

The big change for you this year was that you now have a little sister, a tiny bundle that you don't know what to do with, but you will as she grows up and starts following her big brother around. You'll be surprised to see things in her that you see in yourself and you'll learn a lot about growing up. You'll also understand more of what We have shared and continue to share.

When I mock-complained that President Obama kept calling Me at 2 a.m. to complain about Congress and the media to seek My advice and that if I'd known he would bug Me so much I would've run for President, you swallowed your bite of hamburger and tossed off a blithe "You would have been the last white President in U.S. history." When I find a decent comeback for that skewering, I'll reopen that conversation. Until then, it's Kaleb 1, Me picking Myself up the canvas.

You are joy, a treasure and a part of My life I never cease to be amazed at. I love you, Kaleb. I always will.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

White-Washing History

Crap!! I wish I'd written this! [The quoted section below, not the Texas/Arizona idiocy that follows...]

Following on the heels of the Texas Board of Education trying to erase Thomas Jefferson from its future history books--because Tommy wasn't stupid enough to dumb down his ideals--Arizona decided it liked the sound of jackboots profiling non-whites with a "Show Me Your Papers!" bill.  Then the Arizona snakes decided that schools must be kept pure by eliminating "ethnic studies," which would technically mean anything other than Native American studies, but Arizonans don't mean that, of course. Not be outdone, the Texas Board of Education now wants to rename the slave trade the "Atlantic triangular trade."

I shit you not. 

NOW comes the part I wish I'd written...Seeing as how Texas and Arizona are battling like defenestrated pigs going dumbass whitey-slanting stupid on Us, what if they decided to rewrite all of history? From Chauncey De Vega's wicked keyboard at the blog We Are Respectable Negroes, and picked up merrily by Macon D at the blog Stuff White People Do, comes this acerbic gem titled simply What Would U.S. History Look Like If It Were Written By Texas and Arizona?:


The Essential Dates and Events of U.S. History as Approved by the States of Arizona and Texas

1607– Jamestown founded. Capitalism, which can trace its roots to the Bible, is now firmly rooted in the New World.

1660-1800–Triangular Atlantic trade continues to bring wealth and prosperity to America while giving opportunities to new immigrants.

1776–War for Independence against the tyrannical, evil British empire. Colonists suffer oppression that is unprecedented in human history. Minutemen singlehandedly defeat the evil British Empire in 1783.

1788–The United States Constitution is signed as a document to stand for all time, inspired by God, and never to be changed.

1803-1848–America continues to expand westward into empty territories. American settlers make the land bloom with the help of friendly Indian tribes.

1823–America guarantees the freedom of all countries and people in the Western Hemisphere with the adoption of the Monroe Doctrine.

1848–Mexico, in an act of friendship following their humiliation at the Alamo by the great Republic of Texas, gives their territories to the United States.

1860s-1900s–The Gilded Age of prosperity. American capitalism provides opportunities for all people to grow wealthy, secure, and happy. Liberals and Progressives begin working against American freedom and capitalism by forming unions, demanding unfair compensation from their employers, limiting the rights of children to work in factories, and imposing restrictive regulations for the “safety” of employees. Many brave men die fighting Communist influenced unions as they riot in America’s cities.

1861-1865–Civil War fought because of an overreaching, tyrannical federal government and its desire to limit the freedoms of all Americans. 620,000 people die including many brave and noble black Americans who fought on the side of the Confederacy. Northerners and Southerners eventually find common ground through Redemption and move forward as brothers and sisters in the USA.

1865-1870s–Democratic terrorists called the Ku Klux Klan begin a reign of terror in the South until brave Republicans defeat them.

1906–Using the Antiquities Act, Theodore Roosevelt establishes the National Park System. In one bold stroke Roosevelt establishes Socialist policies that steal land from the American people.

1913–More Socialism and class warfare ushered into the U.S. with the federal income tax system.

1917–America enters and wins World War 1 singlehandedly because the French are cowards.

1929–Great Depression begins. Tens of millions unemployed because of FDR’s failed economic policies. His New Deal introduces the nanny state, prolongs America’s economic collapse, and weakens the economy until Ronald Reagan renews America.

1941–Patriotic Japanese Americans volunteer to place themselves in gated communities so that America will be safe from Imperial Japan.

1941-1945–America enters and wins World War 2 singlehandedly because the French are cowards. Out of necessity, the United States drops atomic bombs on Japan.

1945-1965–A high point in U.S. history, as freedom and prosperity reign over all Americans.

1950–Senator Joseph McCarthy fearlessly highlights how America is infiltrated by communists from Russia and China. Big Hollywood and the liberal establishment are brought to their knees by his brave efforts.

1954–Brown v. Board of Education removes the parental right to send children to the schools of their choice and with the company they desire. A dangerous and unconstitutional era of activist Supreme Court decisions begins.

1955-1968–George Wallace and Martin Luther King Jr. lead a Civil Rights Movement to ensure that all Americans are judged by “the content of their character and not the color of their skin.”

1964-Barry Goldwater ignites a revolution in Conservative thought and values that resonates to the 21st century.

1968–The cinematic classic The Green Berets starring John Wayne, America’s greatest actor, debuts.

1971–America largely withdraws from Vietnam on the cusp of victory because it was weakened by The Gays, The Women’s Movement, and “The Counter-culture.” The French are cowards whose failure forced the U.S. to intervene in Indochina.

1973–Roe vs. Wade, the worst legal decision in the history of the Supreme Court is decided.

1974-Phyllis Schlafly, pioneer for the rights of women, takes a stand against evil Leftist feminists who want to ban motherhood, force mothers to work at jobs outside the home, join the military, become lesbians, and receive advanced educations which they do not need.

1974–Nixon forced to resign by liberal conspiracy.

1980–Ronald Reagan, America’s greatest president, restores American providence by ushering in a new era of economic prosperity, cutting the federal budget, and corrects the unfair federal tax code in order that the hard work of the richest Americans is justly rewarded.

1989–The Berlin Wall falls. Ronald Reagan wins the Cold War singlehandedly.

1992-2000–Democrat president Bill Clinton in office. His reckless personal behavior and irresponsible foreign policy choices weaken America internationally. The U.S. economy is almost destroyed by his tax policies. His wife Hillary Clinton furthers the march towards Socialism by advocating for free public health care and to destroy the insurance companies that drive U.S. economic growth.

2000–George Bush elected in a landslide.

2001–Terrorists attack America on September 11th. Because of Bill Clinton’s policies, a weakened border, a lax immigration policy, rampant multiculturalism, and the Democrats’ weakening of the military, America is left open to attack.

2003–Dr. King’s vision is finally made real. In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court strikes down the reverse discrimination policies of the University of Michigan. Freedom rings across the land.

2003–The country of Iraq, a rogue state, part of the Axis of Evil, and led by the dictator Saddam Hussein–a co-conspirator in the 9/11 attacks–is liberated by President George Bush.

2008-Arizona war hero John McCain introduces Sarah Palin to the world.

2008–Barack Obama is elected. America is in a Constitutional crisis as Obama is unable to prove that he is a U.S. citizen.

2008-the present. Brave Americans begin joining Tea Parties and 9-12 freedom groups. Millions of their members march on Washington DC.. Freedom fighter, James David Manning, places Obama on trial in absentia for treason and sedition.

2008–Sarah Palin, mother, governor, author, actress, comedienne and role-model begins here meteoric rise to political stardom. She ushers in an era of robust, common sense approaches to political problems tempered by real American values.

2010–Barack Obama remains President although his rule is illegitimate. Brave patriots such as Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh continue to lead the people’s resistance against his tyrannical rule.

2010-Patriotic legislatures in Texas and Arizona lead the battle against racial quotas and ethnocentrism as they draft legislation to defend all of America from an unending and unfettered stream of foreign invaders.

God damn I wish I'd written that!! Thanks, Chauncey. Keep up the Swift work.


The Jenius Has Quoted.

[Update: 10 June 2010: What Texas History books will be like from now on...]

Pareto Price

It is called the Pareto Principle, but it's really just an observation, a general rule of thumb that states an 80/20 relationship between two conditions, such as the original statement by Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto that 80% of the land in his country was owned by 20% of the people in it, or that 80% of the peas in his garden were produced by 20% of the peapods.

Like many misunderstood generalities, it has been used to try to explain things as different from each other as best sellers and boas mating. And ever so often, some 80/20 split comes up and when you dig into it, there's actual substance there.

Take this factoid, from the Latin American Herald Tribune: 80% of Puerto Rico Murders Called Drug-Related.

Who "called" this were law enforcement officials and academics, two of which are named in the article. With 894 murders last year, the 80% estimate means that some 715 murders--715--were drug-related. Most of the dead are less than 22 years old.

Our average school has roughly 400 students in it. At the current rate, the drug-related murders are emptying almost two of Our schools every year. I know Our schools suck, but being gunned down sucks light-years more.

The article also states that the average cost of keeping someone in prison in Puerto Rico hovers around $30,000 a year, an absolute joke because it takes less than $14,000 a year to provide a local student with a public college education (and raising that price is causing a lengthy, useless, brain-dead strike that will lead to nothing but booze-addled memories) and because at $30,000 a year, you KNOW some fat hogs are feeding at Our trough.

Now am I going to focus on the 20% of murders that are supposedly not drug-related? Of course not. I'm going to focus on the 80%, on how the deaths of so many of Our people have an impact on law enforcement, on government security measures that weigh down every product and person that enters Our bailiwick, on the court system, on prisons, on medical and forensic services and on the demagoguery that swirls around every bill that affects these services because that 80% is dying and the Fools don't care a whit except for the political mileage they can suck out of it all.

But here's the point: Half of Our adult population doesn't work or lives off of government funds. Of those that work, some 60% earn too little to pay taxes, meaning that 40% of half of Our workers are paying the taxes to underwrite the police, the courts, the prisons, the medical and forensic system and the government's blind grubbing under the mockery of security. And for those of you who can do simple math in their heads, 40% of 50% is...20%.

We may have 80% of Our murders related to drugs and We may have 20% of Our people footing the bill for its ramifications. No wonder so many of My Brethren don't care, as they fall in neither the 80%...or the 20%. 


The Jenius Has Spoken.

Bank (Self-)Interest

Here's a brief post, for a change:

According to the much-maligned-by-Me Center for the New Economy [or in Jenius format: the (Old Guard)Center for (Delaying/Controlling/Quashing) the (Anything Related to this So-Called)New Economy (That We Control)], Our banking system is FUBAR and heading for even greater FUBARness, but...

It's "stronger".

Just when you thought there was a glimmer of brains in the CNE...it continues to be FUBAR.

We're down to 3 local banks, which are really only one and two appendixes (appendici?) and 4 "foreign" banks, one of which (Bilbao Vizcaya) has a cloud over it shaped eerily similar to vultures.

So.

Our banking is screwed and yet, by being smaller, it is somehow stronger? By being further consolidated under one hand, it is stronger? By being more limited and less likely to invest in Us (what "conservative" banking means here is that monies are invested elsewhere that is not here), the folks that pretty much prop up the CNE are going to be "stronger"? Reeeaaallllyyyyy.

Methinks the interest rate in this cross-eyed analysis is not related at all to banks, but to self. That, too, is FUBAR.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

New Neighbors, Old Problems

For the past 9 months, I've had "new" neighbors. I live in a neighborhood just outside the "downtown" area, with houses built in the early 1970s and extensively remodeled since. It is, for Our times, an "old" neighborhood with largely old people, folks in their 60s and 70s who have raised their families, seen them move away and in some cases, seen them come back.

As a neighborhood with a largely senior population (Me not included), the place is relatively quiet, day and night. There are small children around, but not many, and those that spend the day here are often spending the night elsewhere. You can drive around the whole place in about 4 minutes, past the basketball court/grassy field and loop around to emerge exactly where you came in (just one entrance/exit for the neighborhood), scattering the pigeons that still wait for the donut lady who's been AWOL for a few months now. All quiet, maybe a dog barking or birds chirping or an engine rumbling. Not serene, but peaceful in an urban way.

Except for My neighbors. One group moved in with blaring fanfare and within a week, another group took the house just next door, so My immediate neighbor and one removed are now these cacophonous freeloaders who turn a quiet residential area into a hustler's den.

Here's what I mean:

--My street was hit with a harsh flood in September 2008. Two houses at the end of it, four doors down from Mine, were abandoned after everything--from furniture to cars--were damaged. The two cars sat behind locked gates from that day until a couple of weeks after the noisy neighbors moved in. Within a 3-day span, they dismantled both cars. How do I know this? I watched them cart the car parts out in a small pickup truck.
.
--Less than a week after they all moved in, sneakers were slung around a nearby set of telephone and electric cables. Cars and young kids in bikes would swarm down the street, stop for a few seconds at the rounded curve just past My house, in front of theirs, chat briefly and then drive away. The busiest period was between 11:30 p.m. and 2:00 a.m., from Thursday to Saturday. How do I know? I tracked it for a few weeks.

--None of the folks that moved in--5 in one house and I think 7 in the other--has a job. One of the women speaks constantly at 85 decibels (she yells even in normal conversation) and has bragged that she doesn't need to work because she has the government to pay her way. (Both houses are rented under Section 8.) Of the five men, four spend their time working on cars (their own or those of other people) usually in the rounded curve area. Three other women have children and never leave the house alone, but always in pairs or with one of the guys.

--There have been 7 instances of public brawling or public arguing within these two households. Two of the incidents ended in property damage when one of the opportunistic mechanics swung a baseball bat at a new car and shattered the windshield, driver side door window and both outside rearview mirrors and in the other, Loudmouth took off peeling rubber after an argument with her mom and sideswiped a parked car, denting the driver side. The whole menagerie left and the owner of the car, attending a music festival in the town's plaza, spent six months trying to collect damages, only to be stopped by Legal Services because the woman and her family were "destitute."

--Destitution nowadays is different: Both houses receive assistance from WIC, the Food and Nutrition Program (locally known as PAN) and Section 8-discounted utility bills, even though they run their TV sets and ACs all day and wash cars and carports almost daily. The house next to Mine has 3 plasma screens of at least 60 inches each. How do I know? They moved them into the carport during a major "spring cleaning" effort last month. Looked like a Best Buy display as all three were on...even in the carport. Over the past 5 months, both houses have received deliveries from a local furniture chain 11 times (one of My neighbors has a daughter-in-law who works in that store) and according to the store manager, they have bought over $14,000 worth of furniture in that time. Again, how do I know? I went there as if "referred" by them and asked.

--One Sunday morning, just before noon, one of the younger men and two kids who frequently drift in and out on bikes after midnight (though both are barely 10 years old) were caught trying to siphon gas from My car. In broad daylight. In front of My house. When caught, they calmly picked up hose and can and mumbled past Me to their house, no sign of embarrassment at all.

There are other incidents: About a dozen of My neighbors' cars have "lost" rims, possessions inside the car and accessories outside the car. My upstairs neighbor (the house is split) caught one of the men in her laundry room (open porch area in the back of the house) pretending to be searching for a ball. She is a kind lady in her early 60s and after that incident, she left to stay with her daughter for nearly a month. I have caught 2 of them in My backyard, supposedly looking for a rabbit...but they could have done that by standing in their backyard and simply looking into My backyard instead of invading My space. Because that's what they do: invade space and start grabbing what they can.

Four times I have gone to the local police department, with My notes to explain what's going on. Their response? "We know about them." And that's it. When I wanted to press charges on the attempted siphoning (happened last month), I was told I had no case. Possibly true (fingerprints, anyone?), but part of the police's job is prevention, and wouldn't a brief visit serve as notice? In the entire time the "new" neighbors have lived nearby, despite the many incidents, calls, visits and complaints about the loud music, petty theft, illegally-parked cars, illegal business operations (mechanical and otherwise) and trespassing, there's been only one visit by the police. One. And that from the owner of the bat-beaten car who swore a complaint against her nephew who wielded it.

Uh-huh: blood is thicker than water.

So, what are My options?
1) Ignore it all.
2) Let them know--again--I'm watching.
3) Try to get them kicked out as undesirables under Section 8.
4) Keep badgering the police to do their job.
5) Openly confront them, leaving only time and place to be decided.
6) Ambush them when they cross My path again. Because they will.

I'm not built to ignore it, I've already warned them twice (in front of witnesses), Section 8 contracts can only be broken if a crime is committed or severe property damage occurs and My last visit to the police (earlier today) didn't end well after one of the flatheads snidely asked if I was asking for police intervention because "What I did might be what they were doing," implying I was trying to curtail the competition. I snapped back that if he had a brain he could maybe try to figure that out.

Leaves Me options 5 and 6, one hinging on emotional control and the other a preplanned, deliberate choice to do as much harm as possible when given the chance.

Are these really the only options? I had those options when I was a foul-mouthed hothead in high school. Didn't end well then, though I never got really hurt. Seems to Me there should be more than just "street justice" to handle this situation.

When the system doesn't work, the solution has no choice but to come from outside the system. That means the decision is in Our hands, theirs and Mine. I'm pretty sure I know what they are going to do. I'm just not sure of what I will do. But I know I will.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

[Update: 25 May 2010: Less than a week after this post, the more-disruptive neighbors down the street abruptly moved out. I'd like to take credit that My Jenius post did the trick...so I will. On the other hand, My neighbor gave Me more mangoes and told Me that the owner of the miscreants' house threatened to come down, change all the locks in the place and keep every key. When the miscreants went to the Housing Department to complain, they were told the owner could do with his property what he chose to and that there had been too many complaints about them already for the Department to intercede, as it was now primarily a legal issue. Seems there was another way after all...]

B(u)y The Numbers

El que juega por necesidad, pierde por obligación.

The phrase above translates pretty much to "If you play from need, you lose by obligation," meaning if you're in a situation where gambling--like Pick 6 or Loto--is "needed", you will lose. A lot. Per force.

Now many of Us understand that playing the lottery is a fool's game. Statistically, you will consistently lose 47 cents for every dollar played, meaning you will be giving away 47 cents for every dollar you play when you decide to Pick 6 just for fun. And the people throwing away their money hand over fist are almost certainly the ones least able to afford it.

The seductive lure of lottery gambling is that "Anyone can win." That is true: anyone who plays can. The factual downside to that is that you are far more likely to go broke than to win. Here's the kicker: the government knows it...and encourages it.

First, the odds: In a Pick 6 game, with 42 numbers (1-42, like We have here) the odds of winning with the correct 6-number combination is calculated as 6/42 for the first number coming up being one of your picks, 5/41 for the second one to match, 4/40 for the third, 3/39 for the fourth, 2/38 for the fifth and 1/37 for the sixth. Simplify those fractions into decimals and you get a roughly 1 in 5,307,605 chance of winning.

The odds of being struck by lightning are roughly 1 in 410,000.

For a $2 million prize, you could buy $2 million in Pick 6 combinations and still have only a 37.7% chance of winning. Is this a fair game? Of course it isn't. And I repeat: the government knows it. Here's the hypocrisy: they make a huge hullaballoo about the balls and the machines and the live drawings and such minutiae, but the game itself is already rigged against you.

Now for the other part. Adding empirical evidence to a long-observed phenomena, a study by Emily Haisley, Romel Mostafa and George Loewenstein concludes that "...(P)articipants were more likely to purchase lottery tickets when they were primed to perceive that their own income was low relative to an implicit standard." And how are lotteries advertised if not as "catch up to others" fantasy-fulfillment, an illusory shortcut to prosperity that is actually an anchor to climbing out of poverty or marginal living.

As noted by Wired editor and blogger Jonah Lehrer: "The games naturally appeal to poor people, which causes them to spend disproportionate amounts of their income on lotteries, which helps keep them poor, which keeps them buying tickets." The government knows this. They count on it. And they keep counting on it to further their interests and that of their buttlicking cronies.

We may need to amend Mark Twain's famous quote from  "Lies, damn lies and statistics" to "Lies, damn lies, statistics and lotteries." By the numbers, don't buy the numbers.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

[Note: 19 May 2010: From Sharon Begley's keyboard over at Newsweek: How near-misses galvanize a person to keep gambling. Sad part: people convince themselves that a lottery pick "just 3 numbers short" was a "near-miss." It's much more like aiming to land in San Juan and actually touching ground on Phobos.]

[Update: 2 June 2010: I was told the local Loto (Pick 6) has more than 42 numbers, going as high as 46. The odds of hitting the big prize are 1 in 9,366,819. Adjust the level of futility accordingly.]

[Update: 10 July 2010: From Newsweek, how near-misses in gambling are pretty much as addictive as wins. And the obvious corollary: addicted gamblers are more susceptible to this "buzz".]

[Update: 13 July 2010: From The Economist, the best magazine about the world, comes this sobering study: More than 1 in 5 Americans believes buying lottery tickets is a good retirement plan. My Brethren are scoffing, thinking We can go 1 in 4 or even 1 in 3...]

Making Sense Of It All

Why are We still stuck in the petty political problems We had 30-40 years ago? Why are We still tolerating the same old political grubbing, infighting, fake-service-while-feeding-like-pigs-at-a-trough kind of politics that makes you wish public executions were still high holiday events?

Now there might be some debate as to whether We are suffering for this, seeing as how We ranked #2 worldwide in "happiness" in 2008. So maybe the political stuff isn't that big of a buzzkill.

Then what about the economy? There's no denying Our economic situation has an overdeveloped amount of suction and isn't getting better. But it was bad in 2006 and 2007, could be seen as headed for a downturn in 2008 and got worse in 2009. Still, We were happy then and maybe, despite the increasing level of stress from rising unemployment and reduced income, We'd still be pretty happy. Money doesn't buy happiness, true, but it can get you a condo near where happiness is mined. Too bad we can't afford the condo...

Is Our society improving noticeably? Are We becoming a closer-knit nation of communities? Nope. The murder rate is rising again, divorce has crept up above the 50% line, education keeps getting dumber and at the first hysterical hint of a possibly potential shadow of a threat of a chance that a tropical depression could maybe if it breaks patterns inch up to hurricane level, watch how We go to the stores to clean 'em out because--We feel this--if We don't have 78 rolls of toilet paper and 120 batteries, Our neighbors are not going to help Us. (But We memorize the FEMA emergency number when it flashes onscreen.)

Could it be that We're in denial? Many mental health suspects--I mean, experts--state that We have a society brimming over with mental health issues. We are anxious, depressed, addicted and alienated, so are We happy because We're nuts...or am I saying that We're nuts because despite it all We say We're happy?

I'm not a good judge of this, for I am inevitably optimistic. I will see a silver lining where the black cloud merely thins out. I will see a glass half-full when the water just barely starts dripping into an empty glass. I see sunrises and seldom see sunsets. And yet I see the political thievery, the treason, the murders, the lost jobs, the diminished opportunities, the stupidity, the blindness, the greed, the paranoia, the despair...and I think of the rest, the potential, the future, the way it could be, the end result instead of the starting place.

I can't say I'm in denial; just read The Jenius and tell Me I'm not looking squarely at some of the bad. I'm harsh about it because I expect more of Us. So if you ask Me if I'm happy in Puerto Rico, I'd ponder it a bit and then say "Yes, quite so." And I guess I'm in a large group because how else could We end up #2 in the world in "happiness," unless We looked at Our situation and concluded: It ain't great, but I like it. Enough.

Doesn't make sense...but there it is.


The Jenius Has Spoken.

10 Ways We Become Poor

Here's a Jenial Public Service for some of you: 10 Ways to Become Poor:

1. Spend more than you make.
The average Puerto Rican spends 3% more than he or she makes or receives from welfare. Woo. Hoo.

2. Lust after what you don’t have.
Consumerism, an undeniable evil in Our society, cannot happen unless We suffer from an open combination of envy and greed.

3. Never give to anyone.
Oddly enough, We are generous in emergencies, but profess open contempt for giving in daily situations. Still, We give more than most people, only We tend to act crabby about it.

4. Don’t pay attention to where you money goes.
Corollary to point #1, to not saving and to using plastic instead of cash. Oh, and easy credit with killer interest rates that We ravenously sign up for because the monthly payment is "only $89!

5. Get a loan for everything…cars, a new bedroom set, a vacation ***BONUS: Use credit cards with a 25% interest rate!
I think I just touched on this point...but it bears repeating until We get it.

6. Wait for the perfect time to start saving.
HAHAHAHAHAhahahahaahahapoorhouse. We NEVER have a "perfect" time for saving. That's for "idiots," also know as "wealthy people."

7. Follow the crowd.
Slavishly. Jam your nose into the butt of the guy or gal in front of you and followfollowfollow. Buy what they buy, spend more than the spend and don't even try to think differently than the sheep. Oh, and bitch to high hell about how bad things are because "they" won't fix it.

8. Don’t worry about the little things, they don’t really add up.
I get a kick out of people who go to a casino and lose $40-$50 or more and say "That's okay. I was here to have fun." Actually, I don't get a kick out of those people: I want to kick them in the head. Won't hurt them anyway: they're brainless. Just like the numbskulls who buy coffee at Starbucks for $8.

9. Invest your money in things that you know nothing about.
Lottery, anyone? Iraqi dinars, anyone? (And listen, you Iraqi dinar-buying shitheads: I wrote about this almost 5 years ago. Get a hint.)  

10. Waste stuff – money, food, time.
Waste not, want not. Don't waste money if you want to have plenty of it. Same with food and time. The problem is that the responsibility for doing that rests solely on the person. No one else to blame if you waste money, food, time and anything else. Most of Us can't handle that responsibility. Pitiful. No wonder so many of us are so poor.


The Jenius Has Spoken.