Caguas Mayor Willie Miranda died today of pancreatic cancer. Like any Fool--My pejorative term for any politician--he was not on My list of people I'd invite to dinner. But if someone held a gun to My head and forced Me to invite a Fool, he would have been invited just before dessert appeared on the table.
Willie's 12+ years in Caguas were built upon the planning and vision of another well-respected Caguas mayor, Angel Berríos. But beyond safekeeping a vision, Willie provided a set of insights all his own, moving Caguas to the forefront of trend-setting municipalities in Puerto Rico with several civic and business initiatives that transformed the city. He will probably be best remembered for introducing the 1% "Willie Tax," a precursor of the much-trashed Sales Tax. As a move to enrich Fools and the stupid games they play in lieu of government, the Willie Tax was a success. For them. For Us it was the abandonment of any attempt at sober government fiscal policy in favor of squeezing more money out of Our residents in exchange for less services overall.
But Willie didn't follow that pattern too closely. He actually improved some services in Caguas and created new venues, from the Fine Arts Center (planned by Angel, but expanded as a government center by Willie) to high-value real estate projects, the kind that Angel wasn't keen on, but Willie saw the benefit of "suburbanizing" the city as an expansion of San Juan.
Before you think I'm treading lightly because he's dead, let Me point out that, in a corrupt game, the successful (long-term) player has to participate in and benefit from the corruption. Any scenario that implies that the player--Let's call him "Willie"--rises to the top of the party crony system and remains in power for 12+ years amidst a cesspool of thieves, frauds, cheats, perverts and sociopaths and remains as pure as the driven snow is nothing but the hollow babbling of an imbecile. Willie was a successful long-term player in Our political cesspool: Willie was not pure as the driven snow. He was simply better at not exposing himself too much and thus getting caught. If that makes him a hero, it says more about Us than it does about him.
Which brings Me to Willie's biggest failing in his potential quest for transcendent political fame: he wasn't white enough. (Pun and insight intended.) I've said it before and I'll point it out again: all of Our governors have been men or woman of skin far whiter than Willie's. In fact, the only gubernatorial candidate darker than Willie since the 1950s was the PPR's Rogelio Figueroa, but in his case, the more proper term would be "candidate". Or maybe "cardboard." Really thin cardboard.
But maybe it wasn't a failing. Maybe Willie never really wanted to be the governor and felt perfectly at home in his role of Caguas Mayor. As a military man, Willie would be familiar with the concept of "career NCO" or "career staff officer," men and women for whom promotion would mean leaving behind the rank and role they love and felt best in. Maybe it was the collective yearning of his supporters that pushed him in the direction of acting like a gubernatorial candidate and he played along because he was a politician and that's what politicians do: cater to the masses. In that case, his pliancy (and here I am being polite) could have done more harm than good, as he had plenty of options to turn that support into something more insightful and influential than mere "candidacy."
He may have tried, by attempting to reframe the ubiquitously noxious status debate. However, his words lacked vibrancy and consistency, undermined, fr example, by the idea of suing the U.S. of part of A. for Our agreeing to the current contract by which they own Us and by his own inability to rise above the fray and act as a (youngish) elder statesman, someone who clearly placed the nation above party and personal politics. He could have done it, but he didn't, and therein lies his epitaph with Me.
The support he has received and will receive today and for the next few days is more pity than admiration. Willie was not at the top of an objective list of great politicians, but in that underclass of Fools, he was far from a serial bottom-feeder. And so that's My epitaph for him: Not near the best, far from the worst.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query willie. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query willie. Sort by date Show all posts
04 June 2010
11 April 2008
A Prism and a Plan
As Our non-governor Aníbal “Busted Jellyfish” Acevedo plays the limpet, the wings are filled with stage whispers of the willie-nilly kind, namely, that Caguas mayor Willie “Here I Am” Miranda should step in and—chortle—save the party.
Heehee.
Let’s dump this one from the start: Willie isn’t white enough to win. And I don’t mean it in the sense of having a clean political record: I mean his skin color. It’s about the color of good mahogany and not the pale “flesh” tone so favored by Our collective unconscious.
And before you slam into The Jenius for racism, look back at the last 60 years of Our political history and you will notice two things: In a country where roughly 65% of the population is non-white, every governor was pale-faced (and the governess was damn near albino-white) and NO viable candidate was darker than Fred Flintstone.
Dig deeper and you’ll eventually see that all those folks came from upper middle-class or outright upper class backgrounds. Willie? He’s normal. And normal just don’t cut it here.
But say you want to deny this colorful argument and focus on “Willie Wonka’s” wide-ranging development of the city of Caguas, a former urban dumpheap transformed into a sprawling techno-city. “See?” you’d say in your gratingly annoying nasal whine, “Willie can do this for Puerto Rico!”
No. Not really. The difference in Caguas over the past 12 years is the same as the difference between Orlando in 1957 and Orlando in 1969. In ’57, Orlando was a Florida mudhole; in ’69, it was a Florida mudhole with a well-funded, well-focused plan for development. Mickey Mouse himself could have developed Orlando in 1969, but it took a Walt Disney to do that in 1957.
The Caguas Walt was Angel O. Berríos, a head-down, determined, bureaucratic slogger who had something no one else had: vision. To get Caguas there, he knew he had to have the city well-prepared. So Angel set out to prepare Caguas for the future.
But he died. And some time later, “Willie Maze” stepped into the breach and began a tortuous path to making Caguas what it was foreseen to be three decades ago.
Now “Willie Pete” has had some bright ideas, such as the municipal tax (it does free up municipalities from total dependence on the central government) and lump-sum federal funding management (if only because it reduces Our D.C. Dance of Begging). So he isn’t just a factotum carrying out programmed orders.
But a savior? No, that he isn’t. A savior needs to have vision and passion, whereas “Willie Stein” has will, an indomitable thrust that is valuable in itself, but is far from being what his downtrodden and ravaged party needs.
In the end, “Willie Brown” will remain on the sideline, a poignant footnote to the main text of Our election year. And his party will survive because parties come together and are sustained by opinions formed without due examination of their causes, by biases, by rejection of alternate positions based on incomplete knowledge or through unreasoned arguments. In essence, his party will survive by its own prejudices.
The same ones that keep Willie Miranda Marín on the outside looking in.
The Jenius Has Spoken
Heehee.
Let’s dump this one from the start: Willie isn’t white enough to win. And I don’t mean it in the sense of having a clean political record: I mean his skin color. It’s about the color of good mahogany and not the pale “flesh” tone so favored by Our collective unconscious.
And before you slam into The Jenius for racism, look back at the last 60 years of Our political history and you will notice two things: In a country where roughly 65% of the population is non-white, every governor was pale-faced (and the governess was damn near albino-white) and NO viable candidate was darker than Fred Flintstone.
Dig deeper and you’ll eventually see that all those folks came from upper middle-class or outright upper class backgrounds. Willie? He’s normal. And normal just don’t cut it here.
But say you want to deny this colorful argument and focus on “Willie Wonka’s” wide-ranging development of the city of Caguas, a former urban dumpheap transformed into a sprawling techno-city. “See?” you’d say in your gratingly annoying nasal whine, “Willie can do this for Puerto Rico!”
No. Not really. The difference in Caguas over the past 12 years is the same as the difference between Orlando in 1957 and Orlando in 1969. In ’57, Orlando was a Florida mudhole; in ’69, it was a Florida mudhole with a well-funded, well-focused plan for development. Mickey Mouse himself could have developed Orlando in 1969, but it took a Walt Disney to do that in 1957.
The Caguas Walt was Angel O. Berríos, a head-down, determined, bureaucratic slogger who had something no one else had: vision. To get Caguas there, he knew he had to have the city well-prepared. So Angel set out to prepare Caguas for the future.
But he died. And some time later, “Willie Maze” stepped into the breach and began a tortuous path to making Caguas what it was foreseen to be three decades ago.
Now “Willie Pete” has had some bright ideas, such as the municipal tax (it does free up municipalities from total dependence on the central government) and lump-sum federal funding management (if only because it reduces Our D.C. Dance of Begging). So he isn’t just a factotum carrying out programmed orders.
But a savior? No, that he isn’t. A savior needs to have vision and passion, whereas “Willie Stein” has will, an indomitable thrust that is valuable in itself, but is far from being what his downtrodden and ravaged party needs.
In the end, “Willie Brown” will remain on the sideline, a poignant footnote to the main text of Our election year. And his party will survive because parties come together and are sustained by opinions formed without due examination of their causes, by biases, by rejection of alternate positions based on incomplete knowledge or through unreasoned arguments. In essence, his party will survive by its own prejudices.
The same ones that keep Willie Miranda Marín on the outside looking in.
The Jenius Has Spoken
30 December 2005
Sillie Willie
Caguas mayor "Willie" Miranda Marín has come out to suggest Puerto Rico should sue the U.S. for $100 billion because "they fooled us about our colonial status."
Silly Willie. Speak for yourself, Fool.
Maybe many of Us were "fooled" about Our colonial status, but those that were chose to be fooled by either willful ignorance or bovine indifference. Leaving aside the legality of suing a sovereign nation for acting in its own best interests--no matter how venal the action is--what the hell's the point, Willy Nilly?
Is it the money, the only thing you Fools respect, worship, crave, adore and lust after as much as power? If it's the cash, Willy Hillbilly, you gotta come up with some better number. Let Me explain in simple terms and you can have your staff help you understand it:
--Let's say that some 10 million Puerto Ricans have been "affected" under the dumb-as-dirt terms you propose AND that the $100 billion is awarded in judgement against the U.S. (The rest of you just play along for a moment: We have to go slow with Fools.) That works out to $10,000 per person, but since We're talking about a 50+ year period of "suffering", it all works out to under $200 a year for putting up with the indignity of being a colony. Now $200 is overpaying for your dignity, Willy Dilly, by about--oh--$200, but for the rest of Us, it's a damn insult.
If it's not the money, is it some "principle"? The aforementioned "dignity"? "Autonomy"? "Fair play"? "Human rights"? Feel free to stop Me if The Jenius mentions one you can actually comprehend. In a matter of fundamental cultural and political importance, you don't enter the crass confines of a lawsuit to "correct" a perceived wrong. There is no court with a jurisdiction over culture or sovereignty unless We as a people grant that authority.
As far as We know, the current status We have--like a rotting monkey grafted on Our collective foreheads--was not imposed, but negotiated. That means We have a contract, Willie Vanilli, so if anybody's to blame, it's the people who negotiated said contract. WHICH, if memory serves Me, was your very own party, Willie Billy(goat).
So here's My suggestion: Take your "idea" and shove it...into the noses of your own party's current "leadership." The U.S. is far from blameless in this fiasco, but don't go releasing your "Weak Willie" arguments where the rest of Us can hear them. You might want to be "Willie Wonk", but you're just showing yourself to be a lot loopier than Willy Wonka.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
Silly Willie. Speak for yourself, Fool.
Maybe many of Us were "fooled" about Our colonial status, but those that were chose to be fooled by either willful ignorance or bovine indifference. Leaving aside the legality of suing a sovereign nation for acting in its own best interests--no matter how venal the action is--what the hell's the point, Willy Nilly?
Is it the money, the only thing you Fools respect, worship, crave, adore and lust after as much as power? If it's the cash, Willy Hillbilly, you gotta come up with some better number. Let Me explain in simple terms and you can have your staff help you understand it:
--Let's say that some 10 million Puerto Ricans have been "affected" under the dumb-as-dirt terms you propose AND that the $100 billion is awarded in judgement against the U.S. (The rest of you just play along for a moment: We have to go slow with Fools.) That works out to $10,000 per person, but since We're talking about a 50+ year period of "suffering", it all works out to under $200 a year for putting up with the indignity of being a colony. Now $200 is overpaying for your dignity, Willy Dilly, by about--oh--$200, but for the rest of Us, it's a damn insult.
If it's not the money, is it some "principle"? The aforementioned "dignity"? "Autonomy"? "Fair play"? "Human rights"? Feel free to stop Me if The Jenius mentions one you can actually comprehend. In a matter of fundamental cultural and political importance, you don't enter the crass confines of a lawsuit to "correct" a perceived wrong. There is no court with a jurisdiction over culture or sovereignty unless We as a people grant that authority.
As far as We know, the current status We have--like a rotting monkey grafted on Our collective foreheads--was not imposed, but negotiated. That means We have a contract, Willie Vanilli, so if anybody's to blame, it's the people who negotiated said contract. WHICH, if memory serves Me, was your very own party, Willie Billy(goat).
So here's My suggestion: Take your "idea" and shove it...into the noses of your own party's current "leadership." The U.S. is far from blameless in this fiasco, but don't go releasing your "Weak Willie" arguments where the rest of Us can hear them. You might want to be "Willie Wonk", but you're just showing yourself to be a lot loopier than Willy Wonka.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
26 July 2006
Firetime Chat
---If you Google "things 'you would do' dictator," Yours Truly is the first result that pops up. Remember that come election time.
---Caguas Mayor "Willie" Miranda suggests that Our fecal-filled legislature should work only part-time. Fool! He's asking them to actually work! To be functional! To be responsible! To make a difference! That's like asking a toadstool to sing "Il Pagliacci" while flying a stealth fighter.
Sillie Willie, your gubernatorial campaign is off to a bad start. (He's running, folks. He's just not admitting it.) Instead of focusing on what you have some say over, like your city's plans and achievements, you go populist on Us and try to curry favor by slamming the eminently slammable. (Yeah, The Jenius slams the same offal, but I ain't running for office: I'm just calling crap crap.) Suggestion, Willie Nillie: If you want to stay populist, slam the economy. It can't hit you back (yet), everyone hates it (except for The Fools who keep taxing Our asses, although if they really taxed asses, only The Fools would have to pay) and any theory you toss out is just as valid as what any economist blows in the wind.
--- For weeks, I've been saying that the sales tax was not in place of the import tax, but in addition to the import tax. Earlier this week, the press finally picked up on that point, because for some reason, the Fecal-Filled Fools didn't--uh--get around to--writing that leeeetle bit of legislation. You know, what with the crisis and everything...And now, economists are predicting a "serious, even dire impact" of the sales tax on the local economy.
Duh. And while I'm here, DUH.
On a local radio show, senate president Kenneth "Any Idea is Good Because I Don't Have Any of My Own" McClintock said that the sales tax would reduce overall prices. He described the impact of the import tax as coming at the beginning of the import-wholesale-retail chain, using a 50% markup from one step to another, as follows:
1) Product arrives in Puerto Rico, priced at 30 cents.
2) Import tax adds 6.6%, or roughly 2 cents.
3) Importer "buys" at 32 cents, sells at 48 cents (50% markup.)
4) Wholeseller buys at 48 cents, sells at 72 cents.
5) Retailer buys at 72 cents, sells at $1.08.
6) Tax "impact" equals 15 cents (additional monies to cover initial taxing.)
Under the sales tax, set at 7% and now going UP (sneaky point there, Kenny-boy), the "chain of logic" goes:
1) Product arrives in Puerto Rico, priced at 30 cents.
2) Importer sells at 45 cents.
3) Wholeseller sells at 68 cents.
4) Retailer adds 50% markup, sells at $1.02.
5) Tax "impact" equals 7 cents.
WRONG.
At $1.08, yes, the price is higher, but the original tax is 2 cents and the rest is negotiable "cost". Think I'm wrong? Ask Wal-Mart how much they pay in import taxes a year (actual transfers of money, not "accounting reports.") Better yet, ask the pharmaceuticals, who are supposed to pay, but are given pretty much carte blanche.
Once the sales tax is imposed, prices go UP. They have to: the cost of doing business is no longer negotiable. (That was one of the arguments FOR the sales tax: to get the money that was "slipping away.") Think I'm wrong? Prices for many "optional" products have already started rising because "optional" is harder to buy and selling them costs more. It doesn't take a fifth-grade education to see that, which means The Fools don't get it because they can barely think above nursery school level ("Me want!! Me want!!")
And another thing: Where the hell is the logic that a 6.6% import tax on some goods is less expensive to the consumer than a 7% sales tax on most goods? The bottom line here is that the import tax was applied willy-nilly (I read that somewhere...), had so many holes in its application that a sizeable minority of local companies paid little or no money ever and The Fools dropped a sales tax on Our heads because they have screwed Us badly and baldly for years with their mismanagement, fake crises, politicking and greed.
Now We have to pay for electing these vermin.
I say We flambé 7% of them for every month they are incompetent and stupid--which means, of course, e-v-e-r-y month. Rounding up, We can get rid of all of them in 42 months.
But!!
If We add 6.6% to the flambé rate, like they want to do to Us, We can barbecue the whole lot in only 24 months. Just in time for the elections!!
The Jenius Has Spoken.
---Caguas Mayor "Willie" Miranda suggests that Our fecal-filled legislature should work only part-time. Fool! He's asking them to actually work! To be functional! To be responsible! To make a difference! That's like asking a toadstool to sing "Il Pagliacci" while flying a stealth fighter.
Sillie Willie, your gubernatorial campaign is off to a bad start. (He's running, folks. He's just not admitting it.) Instead of focusing on what you have some say over, like your city's plans and achievements, you go populist on Us and try to curry favor by slamming the eminently slammable. (Yeah, The Jenius slams the same offal, but I ain't running for office: I'm just calling crap crap.) Suggestion, Willie Nillie: If you want to stay populist, slam the economy. It can't hit you back (yet), everyone hates it (except for The Fools who keep taxing Our asses, although if they really taxed asses, only The Fools would have to pay) and any theory you toss out is just as valid as what any economist blows in the wind.
--- For weeks, I've been saying that the sales tax was not in place of the import tax, but in addition to the import tax. Earlier this week, the press finally picked up on that point, because for some reason, the Fecal-Filled Fools didn't--uh--get around to--writing that leeeetle bit of legislation. You know, what with the crisis and everything...And now, economists are predicting a "serious, even dire impact" of the sales tax on the local economy.
Duh. And while I'm here, DUH.
On a local radio show, senate president Kenneth "Any Idea is Good Because I Don't Have Any of My Own" McClintock said that the sales tax would reduce overall prices. He described the impact of the import tax as coming at the beginning of the import-wholesale-retail chain, using a 50% markup from one step to another, as follows:
1) Product arrives in Puerto Rico, priced at 30 cents.
2) Import tax adds 6.6%, or roughly 2 cents.
3) Importer "buys" at 32 cents, sells at 48 cents (50% markup.)
4) Wholeseller buys at 48 cents, sells at 72 cents.
5) Retailer buys at 72 cents, sells at $1.08.
6) Tax "impact" equals 15 cents (additional monies to cover initial taxing.)
Under the sales tax, set at 7% and now going UP (sneaky point there, Kenny-boy), the "chain of logic" goes:
1) Product arrives in Puerto Rico, priced at 30 cents.
2) Importer sells at 45 cents.
3) Wholeseller sells at 68 cents.
4) Retailer adds 50% markup, sells at $1.02.
5) Tax "impact" equals 7 cents.
WRONG.
At $1.08, yes, the price is higher, but the original tax is 2 cents and the rest is negotiable "cost". Think I'm wrong? Ask Wal-Mart how much they pay in import taxes a year (actual transfers of money, not "accounting reports.") Better yet, ask the pharmaceuticals, who are supposed to pay, but are given pretty much carte blanche.
Once the sales tax is imposed, prices go UP. They have to: the cost of doing business is no longer negotiable. (That was one of the arguments FOR the sales tax: to get the money that was "slipping away.") Think I'm wrong? Prices for many "optional" products have already started rising because "optional" is harder to buy and selling them costs more. It doesn't take a fifth-grade education to see that, which means The Fools don't get it because they can barely think above nursery school level ("Me want!! Me want!!")
And another thing: Where the hell is the logic that a 6.6% import tax on some goods is less expensive to the consumer than a 7% sales tax on most goods? The bottom line here is that the import tax was applied willy-nilly (I read that somewhere...), had so many holes in its application that a sizeable minority of local companies paid little or no money ever and The Fools dropped a sales tax on Our heads because they have screwed Us badly and baldly for years with their mismanagement, fake crises, politicking and greed.
Now We have to pay for electing these vermin.
I say We flambé 7% of them for every month they are incompetent and stupid--which means, of course, e-v-e-r-y month. Rounding up, We can get rid of all of them in 42 months.
But!!
If We add 6.6% to the flambé rate, like they want to do to Us, We can barbecue the whole lot in only 24 months. Just in time for the elections!!
The Jenius Has Spoken.
31 May 2006
More Stray Thoughts
---When someone Googles "special things in puerto rico", where do you think The Jenius would rank? Why thank you! Actually, The Jenius ranks fourth, just behind Taínos, living and diving. I always knew I was a Top 5 Special Attraction in Puerto Rico; now I have proof.
---Less than 24 hours after My posting about the U.S. becoming a police state, the Supreme Court votes 5-4 to limit protection to government whistleblowers, even in justifiable cases. Funny how that topic was #9 on the list and how clamping down on it makes the list even more relevant. I can almost hear the jackboots goose-stepping down Main Street...
---Now that Caguas Mayor "Willie" Miranda Marín has been outed as a potential candidate, his next move is to say "Yes, if..." That's the traditional answer for would-be candidates who haven't (A) raised enough money to run, (B) don't have a finger on the pulse of the electorate and (C) are still many months away from the elections. **NOTE: Before I could post this, Willie pretty much said "Yes, if..." and of course, the bleating retarded sheep in the press went running--running, I tell you!--to tattle on Willie to the jellyfish in La Fortaleza, Aníbal Acebedo Vilá. The jellyfish's response? "It's too early to discuss candidacies at this time." Yeah. Right. (And maybe I should go back to blogging every day...)
---"If you could have either more money or more time, which would you choose?" There's a poll over at Lifehacker that you can give an answer to. My answer? More time. I can always make more money.
---Nine months to The World's Best 10K and I have yet to start training. The reason is simple: I haven't wanted to. Doesn't matter what else I say, it boils down to the simple fact that I haven't wanted to train enough to get started. Time is barely on My side here, as I am probably in the worst shape of My adult life and have never run anything near 10 kilometers at one time. Solution: Raise the stakes. Make it even more imperative to get started. Nothing like some extra pressure to make one react, right?
---Yesterday I took a car to an Inspection Center, a requirement in order to buy the car's local license sticker. known as marbete. The center was a small, cramped, garage/used car sale lot with two cars on sale and two cars in pieces. In the inspection area was a woman talking non-stop on a cell phone, a blue Ford pick-up truck idling away with the probe wand stuck in its tailpipe. On the dark-green screen, a couple of numbers rose and fell as the engine's output was measured.
With a brief pause, the woman took the car's license and propped it on the keyboard. The car I was in idled away, matching the pick-up's rhythm. I strolled around for a few minutes, listening to the woman's almost-constant chatter/whine. One of the cars was a Mazda sports car, electric blue, stick shift. Cool. More strolling. Some silence, then more chattering. I read the required sign that indicates everything to be inspected: lights, horn, wipers, brakes, door and window integrity...
Suddenly: "Here you go." The inspection certification was printed, the sixth in the last series of the day. Eleven dollars. I don't think she ever looked at the car. Standard procedure? Maybe not, but I can assure you non-Puerto Ricans out there that what I've just described is the dream scenario for a large number of My People. Should I have objected or rejected the certification? Puh-lease. I'm a Jenius, not an Ydiot. We all know the inspection is a song-and-dance only, like the doctor's examination to get your driver's license. Stupidly-implemented procedures that should be stringent, but have simply become legal scams.
Unfortunately, it seems that too many things in Puerto Rico have become legal scams, leading to a sense of anarchy. Anarchy can arise from a lack of moral and ethical values or from open contempt of laws. Personally, The Jenius became an anarchist in this case for the second reason. It can be argued that the first reason applies just as well.
Practicality? Depressing? My vote is "both."
The Jenius Has Spoken.
---Less than 24 hours after My posting about the U.S. becoming a police state, the Supreme Court votes 5-4 to limit protection to government whistleblowers, even in justifiable cases. Funny how that topic was #9 on the list and how clamping down on it makes the list even more relevant. I can almost hear the jackboots goose-stepping down Main Street...
---Now that Caguas Mayor "Willie" Miranda Marín has been outed as a potential candidate, his next move is to say "Yes, if..." That's the traditional answer for would-be candidates who haven't (A) raised enough money to run, (B) don't have a finger on the pulse of the electorate and (C) are still many months away from the elections. **NOTE: Before I could post this, Willie pretty much said "Yes, if..." and of course, the bleating retarded sheep in the press went running--running, I tell you!--to tattle on Willie to the jellyfish in La Fortaleza, Aníbal Acebedo Vilá. The jellyfish's response? "It's too early to discuss candidacies at this time." Yeah. Right. (And maybe I should go back to blogging every day...)
---"If you could have either more money or more time, which would you choose?" There's a poll over at Lifehacker that you can give an answer to. My answer? More time. I can always make more money.
---Nine months to The World's Best 10K and I have yet to start training. The reason is simple: I haven't wanted to. Doesn't matter what else I say, it boils down to the simple fact that I haven't wanted to train enough to get started. Time is barely on My side here, as I am probably in the worst shape of My adult life and have never run anything near 10 kilometers at one time. Solution: Raise the stakes. Make it even more imperative to get started. Nothing like some extra pressure to make one react, right?
---Yesterday I took a car to an Inspection Center, a requirement in order to buy the car's local license sticker. known as marbete. The center was a small, cramped, garage/used car sale lot with two cars on sale and two cars in pieces. In the inspection area was a woman talking non-stop on a cell phone, a blue Ford pick-up truck idling away with the probe wand stuck in its tailpipe. On the dark-green screen, a couple of numbers rose and fell as the engine's output was measured.
With a brief pause, the woman took the car's license and propped it on the keyboard. The car I was in idled away, matching the pick-up's rhythm. I strolled around for a few minutes, listening to the woman's almost-constant chatter/whine. One of the cars was a Mazda sports car, electric blue, stick shift. Cool. More strolling. Some silence, then more chattering. I read the required sign that indicates everything to be inspected: lights, horn, wipers, brakes, door and window integrity...
Suddenly: "Here you go." The inspection certification was printed, the sixth in the last series of the day. Eleven dollars. I don't think she ever looked at the car. Standard procedure? Maybe not, but I can assure you non-Puerto Ricans out there that what I've just described is the dream scenario for a large number of My People. Should I have objected or rejected the certification? Puh-lease. I'm a Jenius, not an Ydiot. We all know the inspection is a song-and-dance only, like the doctor's examination to get your driver's license. Stupidly-implemented procedures that should be stringent, but have simply become legal scams.
Unfortunately, it seems that too many things in Puerto Rico have become legal scams, leading to a sense of anarchy. Anarchy can arise from a lack of moral and ethical values or from open contempt of laws. Personally, The Jenius became an anarchist in this case for the second reason. It can be argued that the first reason applies just as well.
Practicality? Depressing? My vote is "both."
The Jenius Has Spoken.
05 March 2008
Shotgun Thoughts
---My Thanks once again to Janine Mendes-Franco for placing another of My posts in Global Voices Online. (Although I prefer she make a bid...)
---Teacher Federation and leading numbnut Rafael "I Done Be a Teacher" Feliciano claims that the recent almost-strike "strengthened" the educational system. That's like saying that eating a bowl of raw sewage helps your digestion. And yes, the analogy directly compares "striking teachers" with "raw sewage."
---The media frenzy for the March 9th primaries is rising in pitch and--unbelievably--dropping in IQ. From rabid posturing on the part of so-called analysts who slammed Pedro Stupid Rosselló and now sense he'll win to frantic speculation that Aníbal "Jellyfish" Acevedo will be replaced at the last minute by former governor Rafael "The Faux Spaniard" Hernández Colón or Willie "Too Dark Until it's Too Late" Miranda, the media and brain-damaged blind seers have hit the proverbial wall.
---Speaking of Caguas Mayor Willie "The Say Huh? Kid", he suggests that the U.S. government take $120 billion ($6 billion annual funds transfer projected 20 years) and place it in a kind of trust for the local government to use in self-managed fashion. Pros: At a paltry 6% interest rate, the fund generates over $7 billion. Mo' money! Cons: Will be running it. (Get it? Get it?!) To put $120 billion of Uncle Sam's sinking currency in the hands of local pre-penitentiary managers is akin to burning the cash in a useless war effort: The end result is plenty of pain, no gain. Proof: $36 billion in Education funds and We trail Guam and the Marianas Islands in educational progress.
---There's a Children's Hospital in San Juan with a huge billboard advertising its newest service: Emergency Room Valet Parking. I am going to set Myself on fire. This is the kind of health care innovation We need, because God knows that every time I need an emergency room, I simply fret about the parking problem. Now I may have to carry a few spare ones in the glove compartment for proper tipping...
---Combining My new slogan for Puerto Rico with My latest Global Voices post pick-up, We can foresee a day when Our Island can raise a banner at the International Airport proudly proclaiming "Under New Management!" (Yes, I thought that one up all by Myself.)
The Jenius Has Spoken.
---Teacher Federation and leading numbnut Rafael "I Done Be a Teacher" Feliciano claims that the recent almost-strike "strengthened" the educational system. That's like saying that eating a bowl of raw sewage helps your digestion. And yes, the analogy directly compares "striking teachers" with "raw sewage."
---The media frenzy for the March 9th primaries is rising in pitch and--unbelievably--dropping in IQ. From rabid posturing on the part of so-called analysts who slammed Pedro Stupid Rosselló and now sense he'll win to frantic speculation that Aníbal "Jellyfish" Acevedo will be replaced at the last minute by former governor Rafael "The Faux Spaniard" Hernández Colón or Willie "Too Dark Until it's Too Late" Miranda, the media and brain-damaged blind seers have hit the proverbial wall.
---Speaking of Caguas Mayor Willie "The Say Huh? Kid", he suggests that the U.S. government take $120 billion ($6 billion annual funds transfer projected 20 years) and place it in a kind of trust for the local government to use in self-managed fashion. Pros: At a paltry 6% interest rate, the fund generates over $7 billion. Mo' money! Cons: Will be running it. (Get it? Get it?!) To put $120 billion of Uncle Sam's sinking currency in the hands of local pre-penitentiary managers is akin to burning the cash in a useless war effort: The end result is plenty of pain, no gain. Proof: $36 billion in Education funds and We trail Guam and the Marianas Islands in educational progress.
---There's a Children's Hospital in San Juan with a huge billboard advertising its newest service: Emergency Room Valet Parking. I am going to set Myself on fire. This is the kind of health care innovation We need, because God knows that every time I need an emergency room, I simply fret about the parking problem. Now I may have to carry a few spare ones in the glove compartment for proper tipping...
---Combining My new slogan for Puerto Rico with My latest Global Voices post pick-up, We can foresee a day when Our Island can raise a banner at the International Airport proudly proclaiming "Under New Management!" (Yes, I thought that one up all by Myself.)
The Jenius Has Spoken.
12 July 2006
Checklist
Item 1: Monday I write a post about doctors leaving Puerto Rico. Today, El Nuevo Día has the same topic plastered on the front page. Their take: droves of specialists leaving the Island. The numbers are staggering: According to the local College of Surgeons, 433 specialists left Puerto Rico in 2003, 512 in 2004 and 819 up to June 2006. (No mention of 2005.) Listed culprits: the rising cost of malpractice insurance, reduced internships and declining revenues because of the botched Health Reform. Biggest concern: only 250 or so obstetricians left, some averaging close to 50 births a week.
Item 2: Caguas mayor "Willie" Miranda and Our ungovernor Aníbal "The Jellyfish" Acevedo are sniping at each other. Jellyfish concedes he may need to go to a primary (ho-hum) while Willie Wonky claims the central government is freezing his city out of development...and yet that the freeze-out is not due to the ungovernor but to his "incompetent cabinet." Pistols at 10 paces would be much cleaner, more effective and better entertainment.
Item 3: The Fecal-Filled Fools of the legislature are in a tax-manic spasm and if they can't tax it, they want to slap fees on it. Current target: homeschooling parents. Seems some dung-brained senator whose name I won't Albita Rivera wants to charge these parents $125 because they homeschool. And that the money be paid to the president of the local General Education Council. That's it. The idea is to fork over some dough because--hell--there isn't enough to go around, I guess. Hey, Albita, why don't you tax intelligence? We know you and your criminal cronies won't pay a penny...ever.
Item 4: Mayagüez mayor José "Guillito" Rodríguez wants to form a new mayors' organization that will include all 78 mayors and work to solve issues in Puerto Rico without political partisanship. Hey, Gullet-head, We already have an organization for that: it's called Puerto Rico.
Item 5: A letter to the Editor of El Nuevo Día spoke about the fourth victim of the Guánica "massacre." The letter writer called him a "nice, respectful young man" and implied he was a tragic victim of a heinous crime. Maybe so. But he was in the car with three known hoodlums that went cruising for trouble. He may have been "nice" and "respectful," but his judgement was seriously flawed.
Item 6: The All-Star Game of 2006 featured a tepid tribute to Roberto Clemente, with some poorly-named award dropped in his widow's hands. Pathetic. But Vera Clemente handled it with class while Bud "The Screwball" Selig whiffed again.
Item 7: The secretary of miseducation Rafael Aragunde has suggested that school cafeteria employees double-up as handicapped student attendees. Hey, Rafey-baby, why stop there? Let's make janitors Guidance Counselors! But here's the killer: Let's turn teachers into educators! Huh?! HUH?! Is THAT a winner or what? The only thing better would be turn you from secretary to ex-secretary. Rafey-baby, take a hint: take a hike.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
Item 2: Caguas mayor "Willie" Miranda and Our ungovernor Aníbal "The Jellyfish" Acevedo are sniping at each other. Jellyfish concedes he may need to go to a primary (ho-hum) while Willie Wonky claims the central government is freezing his city out of development...and yet that the freeze-out is not due to the ungovernor but to his "incompetent cabinet." Pistols at 10 paces would be much cleaner, more effective and better entertainment.
Item 3: The Fecal-Filled Fools of the legislature are in a tax-manic spasm and if they can't tax it, they want to slap fees on it. Current target: homeschooling parents. Seems some dung-brained senator whose name I won't Albita Rivera wants to charge these parents $125 because they homeschool. And that the money be paid to the president of the local General Education Council. That's it. The idea is to fork over some dough because--hell--there isn't enough to go around, I guess. Hey, Albita, why don't you tax intelligence? We know you and your criminal cronies won't pay a penny...ever.
Item 4: Mayagüez mayor José "Guillito" Rodríguez wants to form a new mayors' organization that will include all 78 mayors and work to solve issues in Puerto Rico without political partisanship. Hey, Gullet-head, We already have an organization for that: it's called Puerto Rico.
Item 5: A letter to the Editor of El Nuevo Día spoke about the fourth victim of the Guánica "massacre." The letter writer called him a "nice, respectful young man" and implied he was a tragic victim of a heinous crime. Maybe so. But he was in the car with three known hoodlums that went cruising for trouble. He may have been "nice" and "respectful," but his judgement was seriously flawed.
Item 6: The All-Star Game of 2006 featured a tepid tribute to Roberto Clemente, with some poorly-named award dropped in his widow's hands. Pathetic. But Vera Clemente handled it with class while Bud "The Screwball" Selig whiffed again.
Item 7: The secretary of miseducation Rafael Aragunde has suggested that school cafeteria employees double-up as handicapped student attendees. Hey, Rafey-baby, why stop there? Let's make janitors Guidance Counselors! But here's the killer: Let's turn teachers into educators! Huh?! HUH?! Is THAT a winner or what? The only thing better would be turn you from secretary to ex-secretary. Rafey-baby, take a hint: take a hike.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
10 May 2006
Prediction for 2008
While the outhousers of the local legislature take a much-unneeded vacation, a voluntary one to rub it in for those who have unfairly received involuntary ones, The Jenius aims at the future. Mainly, the local 2008 elections.
Here, more than 29 months before the dread Election Day of 2008, is the cast of lackwit characterless dweebs who will form the pigpen of a ballot:
--Aníbal "I'm a Jellyfish" Acevedo: Current governor, president of the (im)popular (un)democratic party. Has no choice but to run, though he does so with the conviction that he won't win unless (A) all other candidates die and (B) he stuffs the ballot with fraudulent votes. He should ask the murderous moron in the White House for advice in that area.
--Pedro "I'm a Rabid Dog" Rosselló: Current president of the new(ly convicted) (non)progressive party, current fake senator and past governor of the most corrupt administration in Our history (over 30 convictions and counting) and chief butt plug of the outhouse process. He polarizes the electorate, between raving idiots who thinks he's a messiah and raving idiots who think he's an antichrist. Truth is, he is a mess, anti-Puerto Rico and demented to boot.
--Luis "I'm a Jellyfish Larva" Fortuño: Current chief beggar for Puerto Rico in Washington, Luis is in a power struggle with "Rabid Dog," only the mad cur holds almost all the cards and lil ol' Larva here has no teeth. Or strategy. Or presence. Or new ideas. It's like watching a bunny try to ram a Mack truck: after a while, it starts to seem funny.
--Willie "I'm a Wannabe" Miranda: In a surprise to everyone but Me, the current mayor of Caguas will lose to the Jellyfish in a primary...but will run for governor anyway. He will correctly assess that the Jellyfish is too limp to win and he will offer an alternative to a Rabid Dog and a Larva. He will also base his campaign on his admittedly effective transformation of Caguas along high-tech lines. Problem: Willie is not charismatic, not a good impromptu speaker and has a spotty career as an administrator. (Not corruption, but less-than-stellar results.)
Barring someone dealing with the Rabid Dog in the time-honored "bullet to the brain" manner, the campaign will be a 27-month (yes, it will start in July and drag and drag and drag and drag...) smearfest without even the thought of a shadow of a shred of leadership. If someone does bash the Rabid Dog into cowering silence in the lowlands of Virginia [the current candidate is José Aponte, (Out)House of Representatives (Vice) President], the campaign will be less polarized, but more chaotic as three weak voices try to drown each other out.
Who will win? Who cares? And don't give Me any lines about Us "always caring": if We really cared, The Fools wouldn't now be in place to pull this level of crappy shenanigans on Us.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
Here, more than 29 months before the dread Election Day of 2008, is the cast of lackwit characterless dweebs who will form the pigpen of a ballot:
--Aníbal "I'm a Jellyfish" Acevedo: Current governor, president of the (im)popular (un)democratic party. Has no choice but to run, though he does so with the conviction that he won't win unless (A) all other candidates die and (B) he stuffs the ballot with fraudulent votes. He should ask the murderous moron in the White House for advice in that area.
--Pedro "I'm a
--Luis "I'm a Jellyfish Larva" Fortuño: Current chief beggar for Puerto Rico in Washington, Luis is in a power struggle with "Rabid Dog," only the mad cur holds almost all the cards and lil ol' Larva here has no teeth. Or strategy. Or presence. Or new ideas. It's like watching a bunny try to ram a Mack truck: after a while, it starts to seem funny.
--Willie "I'm a Wannabe" Miranda: In a surprise to everyone but Me, the current mayor of Caguas will lose to the Jellyfish in a primary...but will run for governor anyway. He will correctly assess that the Jellyfish is too limp to win and he will offer an alternative to a Rabid Dog and a Larva. He will also base his campaign on his admittedly effective transformation of Caguas along high-tech lines. Problem: Willie is not charismatic, not a good impromptu speaker and has a spotty career as an administrator. (Not corruption, but less-than-stellar results.)
Barring someone dealing with the Rabid Dog in the time-honored "bullet to the brain" manner, the campaign will be a 27-month (yes, it will start in July and drag and drag and drag and drag...) smearfest without even the thought of a shadow of a shred of leadership. If someone does bash the Rabid Dog into cowering silence in the lowlands of Virginia [the current candidate is José Aponte, (Out)House of Representatives (Vice) President], the campaign will be less polarized, but more chaotic as three weak voices try to drown each other out.
Who will win? Who cares? And don't give Me any lines about Us "always caring": if We really cared, The Fools wouldn't now be in place to pull this level of crappy shenanigans on Us.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
07 November 2008
Election Recap(sizing)
Turning My attention to the local scumfest known as general elections, the statehood party bounced into power at the executive, legislative and municipal levels, handing the commonwealth party its largest setback since 1968, the first time the statehooders won.
Now all they had to do was beat a non-governor with 24 Federal charges hanging over his head, who followed his own party's female quitter, amidst the worst recession since the Great Depression.
Wow. That's like beating up a mummy.
More on those two parties in a moment. Let's turn Our attention to the lesser lights, the smaller dim-bulbs of Our political system, the independence party (PIP, as abbreviated in Spanish) and the PPR, Rogelio "Flaming Kamikaze" Figueroa's crashed party.
Neither party achieved the minimum 3% of the total vote (down this year to 79% of the total registered voters, a minor scandal in and of itself that can be explained by increasing voter indifference and the exodus of the middle class). As such, both parties must collect signatures and get reinstated.
Bluntly, neither should. The PIP has taken a lofty ideal and turned it into a boring social club whose budget comes directly from the government. The independentista movement is not dead, it's simply caught in the clutches of dessicated goons. To reinstate the party at this point is to openly admit that its sole purpose is to suck greenbacks into private pockets. If you look at the PIP "campaign," you'll see lousy party offices, few ads (and they get most of those costs reduced to peanuts or nothing by true believers) and fat cats. Major party funding for a small social club. You can draw the picture.
As for the PPR, despite the warnings and advice, they fell far short of any solid showing...and yet the outnumbered the PIP by almost 1%. That a fourth party, a lamebrained newcomer led by a delusional neophyte with no solid agenda could get more votes than a historical party based on the purest patriotic ideal is the clearest sign that the PIP should just go away. For the PPR, however, the victory is hollow, for not one of their candidates earned anywhere near enough votes to earn a seat anywhere.
Of course, both parties recite the tired mantra of "We will continue the battle," but they are lying to themselves. The PIP is a money-grubbing ghost whose remaining ideal is freeloading. The PPR, a party launched by environmental enthusiasts, stands for nothing except the clearest example of how not to actually become a party.
The "clever" solution is to have both parties merge and by combining the accumulated political savvy of the PIP (especially where filching from Us and Uncle Sam is concerned) with the energetic cluelessness of the PPR, you could create a viable (4-6% of the vote) party for 2012.
That's the best-case scenario. The worst-case scenario is merging the two and having the PIP weaseling out the PPR, thus destroying the only viable pro-political process movement this Island has.
That Luis "Larva" Fortuño beat Aníbal "Jellyfish" Acevedo was a given; that the Larva doesn't have control of his own party was My given, and so it has become apparent. On the very victory platform, two elected candidates started openly jostling for senate and house presidencies, and despite the Larva's mealy-mouthed order to cease and desist, the jostling continued and bore fruit.
More on those two some other day. For now, it merits notice that the Larva is seeing the openexpression of what party elite and close observers have been feeling but not saying for a long time: Fortuño is a pendejo, deemed gutless and bereft of the brass balls the statehood party equates with true political smarts. That balls are not where thinking occurs is exactly the problem with the statehood party.
Add to this that the Larva makes McCain seem like a liberal and you have an amorphous governor-elect, incapable of controlling his own party and out of touch with the current White House.
This bodes well for Us, huh?
And what about the Jellyfish? Well, he resigned as president of his party, about 6 months too late. The scramble to not fill the vacant post is akin to a group playing musical chairs that keep humming loudly when the music stops. The front runner to become the president of theLusitiania party is Willie "Dark Horse No More?" Miranda, the oft-elected Mayor of Caguas. But, the party and Our society don't go well with dark horses (emphasis on "dark") and there's also the matter of age: Willie has lots of it. Based on that, they'll most likely ask him to become the new Executive Director of the party and eventually pick one of the young guns in the Senate as party president to vie for La(rva) Fortaleza in 2012.
Two more things: I maintain that the U.S. of part of A. will never grant Us statehood. But the election of Barack Obama as President does give statehooders a new ray of hope. For whatever that's worth.
And the huge electoral sweep, with the statehood cabal winning the vast majority of Senate and House seats triggers Our constitutional "minorities" adjustment, where 5 more senators and 6 more representatives are added to keep the majority party from having a constant decisive (2/3 of membership) control. So not only did most of the damned parasites get re-elected, We now have more of them to suck Our life and future away.
Woo-hoo! We showed them, didn't We?
The Jenius Has Spoken.
15 November 2008
Crystal Ball Time
Here are some predictions for the incoming administration led by Luis "Larva" Fortuño:
--A power struggle with Thomas "Tantrum" Rivera, future senate president. Larva will get run over by the Tantrum, but will make it seem as if the hit-and-run was really a "working agreement for the good of the people and to ensure progress."
--Jenniffer "Gluttony" González will crash into her role as the new president of the house of representatives and raise being loud to overcome deficiencies to the level of art.
--New commonwealth party president Hector "What Am I Doing Here?!" Ferrer will pick and choose his moments so as to place others--such as Willie "Musical Chairs" Miranda--at the forefront of the several iffy propositions this struggling party has. One of the stickiest points: Aníbal "Jellyfish" Acevedo, exiting governor, will be nailed on some of his charges.
--The Larva will get entangled in social issues rather than devoting himself to economic ones. Why? He thinks he needs to establish a social platform in order to become an effective leader. He is wrong.
--As the economic situation gets worse around the world and the local prospects dim, Larva and minions will develop a "mountain out of molehill" approach to Our issues, in essence exaggerating the impritance and value of peripheral matters in order to distract and obfuscate. (The media will play along like starving retarded sheep.)
--No vital project in education, health or energy will emerge during 2009. The hemorrhage of educational funds will be masked by "new" funds, the near-bankrupt health system will be propped by fiscal shenanigans and the desperate need to enhance Our energy infrastructure will play second fiddle to bombast, hot air and pie-in-the-sky theorizing.
--Before the year is out, a major coalition from within the party will be directly undermining the Larva at the legislative and municipal levels. Why? To force his resignation as potential gubernatorial candidate in 2012. The party bigwigs don't want him, the party power-brokers don't need him and the party base will see his Larva-ness as "Jellyfish Part Two," and will want to hold onto their 2008 gains with a new candidate.
Conclusion: Another slow-motion roller coaster ride through the dregs of inertia and political filth. Woo. And hoo.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
11 June 2007
Father to Truth
Roberto Clemente, Nat "King" Cole, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods...These are the names of men I openly admire, and in the case of Roberto Clemente, idolize. Images of Clemente dot the walls of My house and workspace, and the first ballplayer, the first athlete My son could recognize anywhere was The Great One.
My music collection features half a dozen Nat "King" Cole CDs, songs he sung in English and a charmingly rounded Spanish. On My MP3 player I have 75 of his songs and I'll make room for more.
Michael Jordan is My contemporary, a player I watched while We were both in college and followed through his meteoric rise to become a global icon. The season he and his Bulls won 72 games--a record--I watched 81 of those games, including a stunning Christmas Day loss to the then-woeful Dallas Mavericks, a game My good friend Don Muchow had the pleasure of experiencing in person.
Then from the outskirts of sports--amateur golf--came the phenomenon of Tiger Woods. I watched his first Masters win, a jaw-dropping 12-stroke lead over the outmatched pack. I've watched him win over three dozen tournaments, including all of his 12 major wins, cheering him on. Just today My son and I discussed Tiger's improbable "edge of the cup" putt that fell in to help win his fourth Masters, a moment so improbably exciting that I practically leapt to My feet while Kaleb was on My lap. Scared him, but he remembers that day and follows Tiger almost as avidly as I do. (And yet, We don't really like golf.)
You might have noticed that these four men, who form a tetralogy in My life, are black. One Puerto Rican, two American and one a racial hybrid spanning two continents. And for those who've never seen Me, I'm not black.
I don't see these men as "men," devoid of racial characteristics: I see them as black men, the same way I see other people and notice their skin color, too. My admiration for them has no relationship to their skin color, but rather as the product of their talent, determination, excellence and character.
Except in Tiger's case, where I cheer with an added trace of gleeful satisfaction, knowing that in the lily-white world of golf, Tiger's success is most certainly a thumb in the eye of idiots who think skin color makes the man or woman.
I admire other men, and plenty of women. A partial list would include Willie Mays, Cal Ripken, Jr., Larry Bird, Jack Nicklaus, Patsy Cline, Meryl Streep, Indira Gandhi and J.K. Rowling. They each appeal to aspects of My personality and interests. But what My son sees, from My actions and words, is admiration of men who don't look like Me. The message he is getting, the message I send since childhood, is that skin color means very little and that what a man or woman does and stands for is the most valuable criteria possible.
Someday, maybe when Tiger's close to 90 PGA victories and his 24th major, I'll tell My son that part of My cheering Tiger on is about enjoying someone else's needless discomfort. It's not how I should feel about Tiger's excellence, but I do and there's no sense in hiding it. By then, I hope My son has seen the stupidity of racism and--maybe--My own stupidity for sneering at it in others.
But for now, amidst an Island of My own people who, to a larger extent than We care to admit, carry racism in their back pockets, I want My son to know that he can admire everyone who lives up to his standards, regardless of skin color. I may not be a great father, but I truly believe that despite that, I can still teach him a Great Truth.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
My music collection features half a dozen Nat "King" Cole CDs, songs he sung in English and a charmingly rounded Spanish. On My MP3 player I have 75 of his songs and I'll make room for more.
Michael Jordan is My contemporary, a player I watched while We were both in college and followed through his meteoric rise to become a global icon. The season he and his Bulls won 72 games--a record--I watched 81 of those games, including a stunning Christmas Day loss to the then-woeful Dallas Mavericks, a game My good friend Don Muchow had the pleasure of experiencing in person.
Then from the outskirts of sports--amateur golf--came the phenomenon of Tiger Woods. I watched his first Masters win, a jaw-dropping 12-stroke lead over the outmatched pack. I've watched him win over three dozen tournaments, including all of his 12 major wins, cheering him on. Just today My son and I discussed Tiger's improbable "edge of the cup" putt that fell in to help win his fourth Masters, a moment so improbably exciting that I practically leapt to My feet while Kaleb was on My lap. Scared him, but he remembers that day and follows Tiger almost as avidly as I do. (And yet, We don't really like golf.)
You might have noticed that these four men, who form a tetralogy in My life, are black. One Puerto Rican, two American and one a racial hybrid spanning two continents. And for those who've never seen Me, I'm not black.
I don't see these men as "men," devoid of racial characteristics: I see them as black men, the same way I see other people and notice their skin color, too. My admiration for them has no relationship to their skin color, but rather as the product of their talent, determination, excellence and character.
Except in Tiger's case, where I cheer with an added trace of gleeful satisfaction, knowing that in the lily-white world of golf, Tiger's success is most certainly a thumb in the eye of idiots who think skin color makes the man or woman.
I admire other men, and plenty of women. A partial list would include Willie Mays, Cal Ripken, Jr., Larry Bird, Jack Nicklaus, Patsy Cline, Meryl Streep, Indira Gandhi and J.K. Rowling. They each appeal to aspects of My personality and interests. But what My son sees, from My actions and words, is admiration of men who don't look like Me. The message he is getting, the message I send since childhood, is that skin color means very little and that what a man or woman does and stands for is the most valuable criteria possible.
Someday, maybe when Tiger's close to 90 PGA victories and his 24th major, I'll tell My son that part of My cheering Tiger on is about enjoying someone else's needless discomfort. It's not how I should feel about Tiger's excellence, but I do and there's no sense in hiding it. By then, I hope My son has seen the stupidity of racism and--maybe--My own stupidity for sneering at it in others.
But for now, amidst an Island of My own people who, to a larger extent than We care to admit, carry racism in their back pockets, I want My son to know that he can admire everyone who lives up to his standards, regardless of skin color. I may not be a great father, but I truly believe that despite that, I can still teach him a Great Truth.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
17 August 2007
Not-So-Random Thoughts
---Yes, I'm the #1 result for success starts now. (Sans quotes, as you can see.) Makes Me pause to ponder this more deeply...
---My warmest spit to Visa, whose new ad campaign extolls as a virtue the urge to shorten your life span and die in poverty all at the same time! With another whizzing-whirring cavalcade of images, Visa preaches that "Fast food needs fast money" or some such ratshit. Here's a thought, Visa: I eat good food and save money. And here's another: Eat Me.
---About the recent fatal shooting incident involving the local police, two more nauseating additions: Another unarmed citizen was shot just a few miles from My house and in a televised interview, the president of the local police union basically smiled his inane way through the questions as a defense of the policemen involved. I repeat: It's not that there's a substantial minority of legal thugs roaming Our streets, it's that so many of their "brethren in blue" protect them.
---It's about time I owned up to the fact that My predicted "four horse" (Sorry, equines...) race for governor in 2008 is missing one: Willie "Let's Sue the U.S." Miranda. He didn't cast his hat into the ring and given his age, may not get the chance in 2012. There is, however, a three horse race involving not one, not two, but three horse's asses. The more things change...
---I don't know why I bring this up: Geico has five--FIVE!--TV campaigns running simultaneously. These are the cavemen series (soon to be a TV show); the gecko series; the "average person represented by a celebrity series"; the "I just saved 15% with Geico" series and the most recent one, with the surly boy dreaming of being the Geico-sponsored race car driver. For those of you who are into this stuff, can you name any other company that featured so many distinct ad campaigns at one time? Some might say it's a waste of money, some might say it's overkill, but I see a company willing to take chances about getting their message to "stick." In any case, the five campaigns are notably creative and some ad execs can be proud of being consistently successful.
---To the acquaintance who suggested I should stop criticizing statehooders because they "know the U.S. just as well as you and don't have your 'second-class citizen' mentality," here's a response, now that you're sober: You lived in the U.S for 7 years, in Texas and visited three other states. You categorically averred that you wouldn't take the Deep South--where I lived for 10 years--because "They are hateful people." Well, here's a newsflash, Drunkie: They think worse of you. I know because I've heard, seen and discussed it with them. And what's fairly evident in the Deep South runs quietly in the Midwest, Upper West and New England. And guess who gets to approve "your" petition for statehood, if you ever descended so low as to make one? Take a hint: Crawl back into your drink and leave the thinking to those of Us who haven't killed half Our brains in alcohol.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
---My warmest spit to Visa, whose new ad campaign extolls as a virtue the urge to shorten your life span and die in poverty all at the same time! With another whizzing-whirring cavalcade of images, Visa preaches that "Fast food needs fast money" or some such ratshit. Here's a thought, Visa: I eat good food and save money. And here's another: Eat Me.
---About the recent fatal shooting incident involving the local police, two more nauseating additions: Another unarmed citizen was shot just a few miles from My house and in a televised interview, the president of the local police union basically smiled his inane way through the questions as a defense of the policemen involved. I repeat: It's not that there's a substantial minority of legal thugs roaming Our streets, it's that so many of their "brethren in blue" protect them.
---It's about time I owned up to the fact that My predicted "four horse" (Sorry, equines...) race for governor in 2008 is missing one: Willie "Let's Sue the U.S." Miranda. He didn't cast his hat into the ring and given his age, may not get the chance in 2012. There is, however, a three horse race involving not one, not two, but three horse's asses. The more things change...
---I don't know why I bring this up: Geico has five--FIVE!--TV campaigns running simultaneously. These are the cavemen series (soon to be a TV show); the gecko series; the "average person represented by a celebrity series"; the "I just saved 15% with Geico" series and the most recent one, with the surly boy dreaming of being the Geico-sponsored race car driver. For those of you who are into this stuff, can you name any other company that featured so many distinct ad campaigns at one time? Some might say it's a waste of money, some might say it's overkill, but I see a company willing to take chances about getting their message to "stick." In any case, the five campaigns are notably creative and some ad execs can be proud of being consistently successful.
---To the acquaintance who suggested I should stop criticizing statehooders because they "know the U.S. just as well as you and don't have your 'second-class citizen' mentality," here's a response, now that you're sober: You lived in the U.S for 7 years, in Texas and visited three other states. You categorically averred that you wouldn't take the Deep South--where I lived for 10 years--because "They are hateful people." Well, here's a newsflash, Drunkie: They think worse of you. I know because I've heard, seen and discussed it with them. And what's fairly evident in the Deep South runs quietly in the Midwest, Upper West and New England. And guess who gets to approve "your" petition for statehood, if you ever descended so low as to make one? Take a hint: Crawl back into your drink and leave the thinking to those of Us who haven't killed half Our brains in alcohol.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
21 November 2008
And There I Stand
Apropos of I don't remember what, I read this blog post on 3by9.com and have excerpted the following:
Many people use their blogs, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, etc. to rant, snark, and other wise (sic) express themselves. In many of those writings the writer is sharing an experience, talking about something he/she does or doesn’t like, telling someone off, disagreeing with someone, agreeing with someone only to have others disagree with their opinion…it comes in many flavors. Do you think about how the person or company you’re writing or talking about will take what you’ve said? If you say something behind someone’s back did you think about how he/she will take it if they found out what you said?
...It is easy to sit back with the “shield” of the internet and throw stones criticizing people, many times with no real basis (you know, like facts) to back up what was written. It is very easy to take a “persona” and try to detach yourself from the persona saying the things that could land one in hot water. The common thought process is that the person writing will never see the person being written about, so why not?
Think again.
...Did you expect the person you talked about behind their back to find out about it?
...Be careful what you say and how you say it yet be true to yourself. (Emphasis Mine.)
Just this week I interviewed the incoming House President Jenniffer González, or as I called her recently, Jenniffer "Gluttony" González. (I missed a chance to be very clever by not calling her "Gluttonny".) I have also interviewed current House President José "Puppet" Aponte, incoming governor Luis "Larva" Fortuño and current Mayor of Caguas Willie "Multiple Nicknamies" Miranda over the past two years.
First of all, I'm aghast that I have actually done this many interviews with parasites. (There I go again...) Second, I fully expect for these people to do one thing concerning My opinion of each of them: Ignore it.
For one, I'm not on their A-list of reading material, assuming they know how to read. (Uh-huh, doing it again...) Second, even if they did find out what I wrote about them, I wouldn't feel bad about it at all. Unlike the 3by9 post's argument of lacking facts, I always place My facts or rationale alongside My criticisms, attacks and/or pejorative nicknames. You may argue about the validity of the facts, but I have taken the time to include them aong with My thought processes and thus you and the person targeted have My viewpoint as complete as can be.
So when I highlighted the last two sentences of the excerpt, I did so with the intention of replying to their thrusts. Yes, I blog as if the people I write about will find out what I said about them. I may not think it likely that they will, but I am prepared if and when they do. For example, if "Gluttonny" (Oh boy, talk about a drumbeat...) had asked Me why I gave her that nickname, I would point to the post and say "You're in politics mainly for yourself." She could argue that I'm wrong, but the weight of the evidence--as I see it--shows her grabbing everything she can for her own benefit. Thus, "Gluttony," now "Gluttonny."
Offensive? Yes. Gluttony is a deadly sin. Inaccurate? No. And there I stand. For the last sentence I quoted above is where I have always stood, saying what I think in a manner consistent with My thoughts. You may argue about the style and many do, but no one--as I have said before--no one has ever accused Me of saying anything except what I believe.
Now as to whether this "opinion cloud" is right or should be managed in some other way is an entirely different discussion. For now, Jellyfish or Larva, Tantrum or Gluttony, Il Castrao or Puppet, let them read what I think and then decide if it merits attention or not. Either way, there I stand.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
02 June 2008
In Black and White
I never thought I'd see it during My lifetime: A black man--an African-American man--running for President of the United States.
Does this mean that the U.S of part of A. is "over" racism? Is the Pope Jewish? There is, however, a sliver of light for other paths of progress, and that brings Me back to Willie "Too Dark" Miranda, Caguas Mayor and close-but-not-quite candidate for Governor for the misnamed Popular Democratic Party.
Around here the thinking usually goes "If it's done in the States, it can be done here," especially when it comes time for unions to negotiate salary and benefits. Sometimes that "monkey see-monkey do" thought process leads to potential, as in "If a dark-skinned man could break whitey's hold up there, maybe a dark-skinned man could do the same here." And the answer is: Not a chance, compai. Not a chance.
Taken as political talent (an oxymoron, but flow with Me here), Senator Obama and Mayor Miranda can be considered comparative equals. Obama has very few years in Congress, but has crafted a reputation for original thought and straight-speaking that matches Miranda's lengthy (12 years) of successful administration in a growing city. Let's call that level ground.
Like Miranda, Obama is trying to overcome the political muscle of an incumbent, but Obama is doing so as an equal whereas Miranda has to topple the party's "leader." (Hold on a sec... I just ruptured My dictionary by calling The Jellyfish a leader... Hadn't happened since I called Stupid Rosselló an asset to Us... Oh, that's right: I never did that.) On the other (dirty) hand, Miranda's local opponent is facing 19 federal charges.
Quick conclusion based on these elements: Yes, what happened up north could happen here.
Except.
The issue of race--based on skin color--is acknowledged in the States and covered up in Puerto Rico. And you cannot change a situation until you acknowledge it exists. Though there are other reasons that Miranda will not be the gubernatorial candidate, some of them, perhaps the main ones, will be related to "He's not white." Some might add "enough" to that sentence: The Party doesn't.
Why do I insist on this? Why do I pick at this possibly-unseen scab? I've been told that there is no racism in Puerto Rico, which is akin to claiming there is no lying in the media. Of course there's racism in Puerto Rico. Of course it affects politics. But if you pretend it isn't happening, that it simply doesn't exist, then of course We're going to continue to limit Ourselves and Our future.
Lest you think this is some veiled form of support for Rogelio "I'm Hiding Something" Figueroa, the black candidate of the PPR, I'll summarize My analysis of him this way: Rogelio is as useful to Our politics as a baby bottle is to an auto mechanic.
That the U.S has a historical candidate and a potential historical precedent as its Commander in Chief is a marvelous happening. Watch it closely, especially you numb-brains called statehooders. If you're capable of learning, you'll learn a lot. The rest of Us would do well to use it as an imperfect mirror to see what We can do to make Our society stronger.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
Does this mean that the U.S of part of A. is "over" racism? Is the Pope Jewish? There is, however, a sliver of light for other paths of progress, and that brings Me back to Willie "Too Dark" Miranda, Caguas Mayor and close-but-not-quite candidate for Governor for the misnamed Popular Democratic Party.
Around here the thinking usually goes "If it's done in the States, it can be done here," especially when it comes time for unions to negotiate salary and benefits. Sometimes that "monkey see-monkey do" thought process leads to potential, as in "If a dark-skinned man could break whitey's hold up there, maybe a dark-skinned man could do the same here." And the answer is: Not a chance, compai. Not a chance.
Taken as political talent (an oxymoron, but flow with Me here), Senator Obama and Mayor Miranda can be considered comparative equals. Obama has very few years in Congress, but has crafted a reputation for original thought and straight-speaking that matches Miranda's lengthy (12 years) of successful administration in a growing city. Let's call that level ground.
Like Miranda, Obama is trying to overcome the political muscle of an incumbent, but Obama is doing so as an equal whereas Miranda has to topple the party's "leader." (Hold on a sec... I just ruptured My dictionary by calling The Jellyfish a leader... Hadn't happened since I called Stupid Rosselló an asset to Us... Oh, that's right: I never did that.) On the other (dirty) hand, Miranda's local opponent is facing 19 federal charges.
Quick conclusion based on these elements: Yes, what happened up north could happen here.
Except.
The issue of race--based on skin color--is acknowledged in the States and covered up in Puerto Rico. And you cannot change a situation until you acknowledge it exists. Though there are other reasons that Miranda will not be the gubernatorial candidate, some of them, perhaps the main ones, will be related to "He's not white." Some might add "enough" to that sentence: The Party doesn't.
Why do I insist on this? Why do I pick at this possibly-unseen scab? I've been told that there is no racism in Puerto Rico, which is akin to claiming there is no lying in the media. Of course there's racism in Puerto Rico. Of course it affects politics. But if you pretend it isn't happening, that it simply doesn't exist, then of course We're going to continue to limit Ourselves and Our future.
Lest you think this is some veiled form of support for Rogelio "I'm Hiding Something" Figueroa, the black candidate of the PPR, I'll summarize My analysis of him this way: Rogelio is as useful to Our politics as a baby bottle is to an auto mechanic.
That the U.S has a historical candidate and a potential historical precedent as its Commander in Chief is a marvelous happening. Watch it closely, especially you numb-brains called statehooders. If you're capable of learning, you'll learn a lot. The rest of Us would do well to use it as an imperfect mirror to see what We can do to make Our society stronger.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
28 March 2008
Busted Jellyfish
* Governor Aníbal "Busted Jellyfish" Acevedo is rung up on 19 federal charges, including campaign fund fraud, tax fraud and perjury. Reports are that he (allegedly, ho-hum) pocketed campaign monies, even to the extent of taking trips with his family with those funds.
* The local F.B.I. office and lead prosecutor put on a 25-minute display of evidence, tracing people, actions, funds and possible crimes across several states and over a 7-year period.
* For the first time in Our history, a governor is brought up on criminal charges. Should have happened sooner, but what the heck, better late than never, right?
* One of the arrested, Miguel "I Am Not Guilty" Nazario, is a former Ponce Cement and El Nuevo Día executive. Both companies are owned by the Ferré Rangel cartel and guess which leading local newspaper did NOT mention this?
* The initial talk after the early morning arrests was that the governor's lawyers were "negotiating his surrender/arrest." Bullpuckey. Arrests are non-negotiable. What was being negotiated was his possible sentence IF he loses his case. (I say "if" only out of courtesy.)
* Federal Grand Jury conviction rates run at about 97%. Place your bets now.
* The Busted Jellyfish's choices on how to face this crisis boiled down to two options: Lead or play victim. By 11 a.m. local time, We knew the answer: He was wailing "political persecution."
* That the murderous moron and his addled cronies have made a mockery of the U.S. justice system is beyond debate. That Busted Jellyfish is sooo important a target--even to the idea that in persecuting him they are somehow "attacking" Sen. Barack Obama--is sooo laughable as to be nitrous oxide.
* I'll simplify for the party faithful: No, it isn't political persecution.
* Caguas Mayor Willie "Money Market" Miranda quickly staked out his political position as "Loyal soldier ready to carry the standard." In real-world terms: crafty weasel.
* The (Un)Popular (Anti)Democratic Wake--er, Party--went with "The Battle for (to defend) Puerto Rico" ("dar la batalla por Puerto Rico") spinning the Busted Jellyfish's idiocy into some heroic fight for a dignity the party itself doesn't have.
* The opponents took a high road laced with contempt. Stupidest rumor: That Pedro Stupid Rosselló knew the charges were coming and "deliberately" lost the primary. Yeah, and Moses won the Kentucky Derby running backwards. Stupid Rosselló doesn't know squat about the case and if he did know, his best strategy was clearly to run, kick the stuffing out of Luis "Waldo Boy" Fortuño and thus become the prohibitive front-runner for governor in November.
* Really, really pissed off by the charges: The independentista "leadership", who given the wide-open nature of the upcoming election, are now forced to spend an extra wad of money in ads and "electoral efforts." Hey! That cuts into their profits!
* The evening appearance by the Busted Jellyfish was his moment of truth. It was a moment. He had no truth to offer. He opened with "It's a weak economy" followed by a weak "I'm the victim of political persecution" and closed 3 minutes later with a weak "I will continue to lead you." Wake up call, Fool: You have never led us, except to shame.
* A long time ago I wrote that these Fools take the position of "I'm innocent because I stay in my position." Busted Jellyfish, who isn't resigning immediately, is adopting the same cretinous pose.
* Most people opine that the Busted One should resign "to best manage his defense," "for the welfare of his family" or "for the good of Our Island." Here's a reason: He should resign because he has been formally accused of crimes. Sure, there's the presumption of innocence. But there's also the assumption that Our leaders should be law-abiding. To consider his defense a distraction is fatuous: The Busted Jellyfish was never any good at doing his supposed job, anyway. To say he should think of his family is to ignore the evidence that he (allegedly, ho-hum) did these things without considering his family's ultimate welfare. And to ask a Busted Jellyfish, or any Fool, to think of the country before him- or herself is to ask a dungheap to whistle Beethoven's Ninth.
* Why the Jellyfish and not Stupid Rosselló? The difference between a bank robber and a drug lord. The bank robber directly touches the money; the drug lord has other people touch all the money and lets them develop his interests. He gives them initial access, short-term protection and thus a chance to make a ton of dough--his way. And when these patsies fall, there is no evidence that leads to the drug lord's doorstep.
* Now what? Don't expect impeachment to make much headway. Expect the Federal agencies involved to apply the pressure with additional arrests, charges and dark hints. Expect the net of this multi-tiered investigation to be cast wider, aiming at businesses in the States and in Puerto Rico. Expect vapid doodyheads of all party stripes to blahblahblah as if they were paid by the syllable. Expect a leading local newspaper to drop a bombshell announcement about itself soon. And expect the local elections to become a veritable chicken coop of totally-useless actions that ultimately leave everything pretty much the same.
And expect the Busted Jellyfish to lose his case.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
* The local F.B.I. office and lead prosecutor put on a 25-minute display of evidence, tracing people, actions, funds and possible crimes across several states and over a 7-year period.
* For the first time in Our history, a governor is brought up on criminal charges. Should have happened sooner, but what the heck, better late than never, right?
* One of the arrested, Miguel "I Am Not Guilty" Nazario, is a former Ponce Cement and El Nuevo Día executive. Both companies are owned by the Ferré Rangel cartel and guess which leading local newspaper did NOT mention this?
* The initial talk after the early morning arrests was that the governor's lawyers were "negotiating his surrender/arrest." Bullpuckey. Arrests are non-negotiable. What was being negotiated was his possible sentence IF he loses his case. (I say "if" only out of courtesy.)
* Federal Grand Jury conviction rates run at about 97%. Place your bets now.
* The Busted Jellyfish's choices on how to face this crisis boiled down to two options: Lead or play victim. By 11 a.m. local time, We knew the answer: He was wailing "political persecution."
* That the murderous moron and his addled cronies have made a mockery of the U.S. justice system is beyond debate. That Busted Jellyfish is sooo important a target--even to the idea that in persecuting him they are somehow "attacking" Sen. Barack Obama--is sooo laughable as to be nitrous oxide.
* I'll simplify for the party faithful: No, it isn't political persecution.
* Caguas Mayor Willie "Money Market" Miranda quickly staked out his political position as "Loyal soldier ready to carry the standard." In real-world terms: crafty weasel.
* The (Un)Popular (Anti)Democratic Wake--er, Party--went with "The Battle for (to defend) Puerto Rico" ("dar la batalla por Puerto Rico") spinning the Busted Jellyfish's idiocy into some heroic fight for a dignity the party itself doesn't have.
* The opponents took a high road laced with contempt. Stupidest rumor: That Pedro Stupid Rosselló knew the charges were coming and "deliberately" lost the primary. Yeah, and Moses won the Kentucky Derby running backwards. Stupid Rosselló doesn't know squat about the case and if he did know, his best strategy was clearly to run, kick the stuffing out of Luis "Waldo Boy" Fortuño and thus become the prohibitive front-runner for governor in November.
* Really, really pissed off by the charges: The independentista "leadership", who given the wide-open nature of the upcoming election, are now forced to spend an extra wad of money in ads and "electoral efforts." Hey! That cuts into their profits!
* The evening appearance by the Busted Jellyfish was his moment of truth. It was a moment. He had no truth to offer. He opened with "It's a weak economy" followed by a weak "I'm the victim of political persecution" and closed 3 minutes later with a weak "I will continue to lead you." Wake up call, Fool: You have never led us, except to shame.
* A long time ago I wrote that these Fools take the position of "I'm innocent because I stay in my position." Busted Jellyfish, who isn't resigning immediately, is adopting the same cretinous pose.
* Most people opine that the Busted One should resign "to best manage his defense," "for the welfare of his family" or "for the good of Our Island." Here's a reason: He should resign because he has been formally accused of crimes. Sure, there's the presumption of innocence. But there's also the assumption that Our leaders should be law-abiding. To consider his defense a distraction is fatuous: The Busted Jellyfish was never any good at doing his supposed job, anyway. To say he should think of his family is to ignore the evidence that he (allegedly, ho-hum) did these things without considering his family's ultimate welfare. And to ask a Busted Jellyfish, or any Fool, to think of the country before him- or herself is to ask a dungheap to whistle Beethoven's Ninth.
* Why the Jellyfish and not Stupid Rosselló? The difference between a bank robber and a drug lord. The bank robber directly touches the money; the drug lord has other people touch all the money and lets them develop his interests. He gives them initial access, short-term protection and thus a chance to make a ton of dough--his way. And when these patsies fall, there is no evidence that leads to the drug lord's doorstep.
* Now what? Don't expect impeachment to make much headway. Expect the Federal agencies involved to apply the pressure with additional arrests, charges and dark hints. Expect the net of this multi-tiered investigation to be cast wider, aiming at businesses in the States and in Puerto Rico. Expect vapid doodyheads of all party stripes to blahblahblah as if they were paid by the syllable. Expect a leading local newspaper to drop a bombshell announcement about itself soon. And expect the local elections to become a veritable chicken coop of totally-useless actions that ultimately leave everything pretty much the same.
And expect the Busted Jellyfish to lose his case.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
12 February 2010
Our Status: Part IV
So now We're at Part IV of the "Our Status" series and you know where to find the first three.
Since the status issue is a made-up problem to manipulate Us and it lacks a solution the responsible party wants to give, but it has some key elements for growth, what do We do to turn it into an advantage instead of the Fools' LSD it is now?
1) Insist on status-free rhetoric: That means We don't bother with the issue when some idiot in a suit stands up in front of a podium and claims that We must move "Our status question" forward for no other reason than an empty "because." Yes, I mean you Pedro "Head Beggar" Pierluisi. And yes, I mean you Willie "Silly" Miranda.
2) If status is invoked, pursue the reasoning: Our Head Beggar thrusts a bill in the U.S. of part of A. House for a referendum that means diddlyshit, because no matter what We vote for (or against), Congress will fart on the result and even that would be more than expected. Now and forever more, We should always pursue the reasoning behind these grandstanding ploys and grandiloquent statements that amount to the same thing: a nanometer-sized snowball in the hottest pits of Hell.
3) Start changing the limits of Our "compact" immediately: Either of the two major parties could do this and pursue their own perverted self-interests. All it takes is a willingness to get slammed by the media and federal communiqués, something We should be used to given Our horrible track record with Federal funds.
Example: Statehooders want more parity, i.e., to be seen as worthy of statehood? Good. Petition Congress to include Us in federal taxation so We can increase Our representation. Oh, not politically expedient, you craven cowards? Try this one: Aim to have the current Constitution viewed as protected under the 10th Amendment. It only applies to states, you would say if you knew what the 10th Amendment said? There's your argument: legal recognition of protection under the U.S. Constitution. Open that can of worms and see what happens.
Example: Commonwealthers want more from them without giving up anything from Us? (That borders on parasitism...) Try this: Petition Congress for rights to deal with foreign nations on economic terms in exchange for a pro-rated reduction in welfare transfers to Us. Not politically expedient, you craven cowards? Okay, then try this: Challenge the current compact on legal grounds that after 58 years it is no longer representative of the true U.S./P.R. relationship. Play it one of three ways: (1) It ain't fair; (2) The U.S. of part of A. has violated it over and over again and/or (3) It limits Our potential for growth. Any of those arguments is valid and if it seems like I'm suggesting We rock this boat 'til the mast snaps or the keel hauls, that's exactly what I'm suggesting. Insanity is to repeat the same actions expecting a different result. We. Are. Insane.
4) Recast Our political architecture: Some of the steps that can be taken: Reduce the size of the legislature by 33%; reduce the number of petitioners to form a party to 50,000; establish full reporting of all bills and executive memos on the Web; Establish term limits for legislators and remove term limits for governors; Tie top-level government and legislative salaries to no more than 300% of Our Income Per Capita as determined by the World Bank; Tie salary and benefit increases to ALL government employees to the Consumer Price Index as determined by the federal government; Cap all consulting contracts to no more than $50,000 a year and only one contract per individual per year; Convert legislators to part-timers (they already are, just make it official, dammit); Transform the 78 Municipalities into 18-24 Counties or Parishes or Lugnuts or whatever you want to call them; Reduce public campaign financing to no more than 1% of the average of four years of Budgets, to be split evenly by all parties (the free-for-all on that one would amuse even Me); Reduce the number of Supreme Court Justices to 5 and make 2 of the current ones Assistant Justices to fill in when one of the others gets diarrhea or the bends or something; Eliminate all perks (cell phones, mail, cars, etc.) and have private companies rotate on a fixed schedule to provide them for a nominal fee--and if they don't get paid, they can cut the services; Have all elected officials participate in the government's health plan during their terms in office: if they don't like it, they can choose not to run (hallefreakinllujah!) or really work to fix the godawful mess and lastly, dissolve all government employee unions once and for all: they work against Us, the taxpayers, who are their ultimate bosses. No one puts up with employees who sabotage the company, so why should We mollycoddle the dingos that "lead" these unions and their sycophants?
Done. Add your own suggestions, come to your own conclusions, but face up to the reality, Brethren of Mine: this status crap is a tool of Fools. Either We use it for Our own benefit or We stop letting them use if for theirs. Any other path will keep Us sinking in the deepening rut of Our own indifference.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
05 June 2006
Political Architecture
---Update: Pedro "If Hitler Was Austrian Then I'm a Crook" Rosselló" is already firing broadsides against the jellyfish governor Aníbal Acevedo for "implanting" a 7% or higher sales tax on the Puerto Rican voter. Do tell, Peter-Peter Pickpocket Peter. The Jenius had you pegged all the slimy way. And Peter the Plunderer's "surprise" announcement that he's gearing up for the gubernatorial race in 2008 (yes, We are late for everything but the elections) by choosing a political fetus as his Head Beggar candidate is simply fulfilling The Jenius' prediction. With the jellyfish saying "Yeah, I'll wriggle in 2008" and "Willie" Miranda, Mayor of Caguas implying "I'll jump in when I get my cash flow set up," We're waiting for current Head Beggar and junior jellyfish Luis Fortuño to make the Four Fools scenario a nightmarish reality.
Switching gears...
When it comes to building a new movement, the converse proposition, “politics is architecture” holds true as well. The architecture (structure and design) of political processes, not their content, is determinative of what can be accomplished.
Just as you can’t build a skyscraper out of bamboo, you can’t have a participatory democracy if power is centralized, processes are opaque, and accountability is limited. Politics needs a new architecture, not just a new coat of paint. We need to renovate the house (and Senate).
The architecture team, that is, those who collectively will determine the structure of political processes cannot be composed of an elite, whether technical or political. Who is sitting at the table as the new politics is designed and implemented and the experiences and perspectives they represent matter enormously.
The Internet, if kept open and accessible to all, is a tool we can use to reform our politics and create new democratic processes and institutions. By using the Internet and building upon its open decentralized architecture, we can help give every person a voice and offer them a forum to participate in creating a healthy politics. The Internet provides the tools to build bottom-up systems that are both globally interconnected and locally controlled. As the printing press was the technology that helped birth modern self-government, so the Internet can be the tool to build a new democratically controlled participatory politics. (Emphasis added.)
This quote is from Mitch Kapor's poli-tech blog. Mitch is the President and Chair of the Open Source Applications Foundation and has long been an advocate of greater integration of the Internet in political processes. One of the launch points for The Jenius was exactly this issue and given the torrential flow of idiocy The Fools are creating and the gaping void of leadership We continue to tolerate, it's high time to bring the matter up again.
Unlike the U.S., where voter turnout is low because of abject indifference, Puerto Ricans go out to to vote in 85+% numbers...but do so blindfolded and deaf. They refuse to see what's going on, or watch the madness with slack-jawed numbness, occasionally stirring to protest and refuse to listen to anyone who espouses a view that isn't strictly in accordance with their party's spastic positions. (That almost no one is worth listening to is also part of the problem.)
Our current political processes would love to be bamboo, but barely rise above slime mold. Cleaning up the current cesspool requires recreating the way government is supposed to work and using the Internet to achieve that recreation is necessary. The Fools, of course, don't want this. First, because they can't understand it. Second, because they sense, like flies savor the air for the stench of dung, that the Internet is dangerous to their status. And just like flies know crap when they smell it, The Fools know danger to them when they sense it.
All the more reason to make the push, to create an architecture that strangles the shenanigans and damage and allows for Puerto Rico's best future to emerge. Over at The Information Soldier, Aníbal Freytes is creating a website to track "political memory," so that The Fools' stupidity of today is recorded and archived for review, comparison and attack when the time comes to punt their butts out.
Aníbal never said attack. But attack is what is needed to clean this modern-day, Puerto Rican version of the Augean Stables. (Dung, flies, horses' asses...yeah, the analogy is perfect.) The Internet will be Our cleansing river, if We choose to be Hercules.
Politics as architecture is what Mitch was talking about. Instead of a monument of political effectiveness, We have a filthy stable. No wonder We're stuck where We are.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
Switching gears...
When it comes to building a new movement, the converse proposition, “politics is architecture” holds true as well. The architecture (structure and design) of political processes, not their content, is determinative of what can be accomplished.
Just as you can’t build a skyscraper out of bamboo, you can’t have a participatory democracy if power is centralized, processes are opaque, and accountability is limited. Politics needs a new architecture, not just a new coat of paint. We need to renovate the house (and Senate).
The architecture team, that is, those who collectively will determine the structure of political processes cannot be composed of an elite, whether technical or political. Who is sitting at the table as the new politics is designed and implemented and the experiences and perspectives they represent matter enormously.
The Internet, if kept open and accessible to all, is a tool we can use to reform our politics and create new democratic processes and institutions. By using the Internet and building upon its open decentralized architecture, we can help give every person a voice and offer them a forum to participate in creating a healthy politics. The Internet provides the tools to build bottom-up systems that are both globally interconnected and locally controlled. As the printing press was the technology that helped birth modern self-government, so the Internet can be the tool to build a new democratically controlled participatory politics. (Emphasis added.)
This quote is from Mitch Kapor's poli-tech blog. Mitch is the President and Chair of the Open Source Applications Foundation and has long been an advocate of greater integration of the Internet in political processes. One of the launch points for The Jenius was exactly this issue and given the torrential flow of idiocy The Fools are creating and the gaping void of leadership We continue to tolerate, it's high time to bring the matter up again.
Unlike the U.S., where voter turnout is low because of abject indifference, Puerto Ricans go out to to vote in 85+% numbers...but do so blindfolded and deaf. They refuse to see what's going on, or watch the madness with slack-jawed numbness, occasionally stirring to protest and refuse to listen to anyone who espouses a view that isn't strictly in accordance with their party's spastic positions. (That almost no one is worth listening to is also part of the problem.)
Our current political processes would love to be bamboo, but barely rise above slime mold. Cleaning up the current cesspool requires recreating the way government is supposed to work and using the Internet to achieve that recreation is necessary. The Fools, of course, don't want this. First, because they can't understand it. Second, because they sense, like flies savor the air for the stench of dung, that the Internet is dangerous to their status. And just like flies know crap when they smell it, The Fools know danger to them when they sense it.
All the more reason to make the push, to create an architecture that strangles the shenanigans and damage and allows for Puerto Rico's best future to emerge. Over at The Information Soldier, Aníbal Freytes is creating a website to track "political memory," so that The Fools' stupidity of today is recorded and archived for review, comparison and attack when the time comes to punt their butts out.
Aníbal never said attack. But attack is what is needed to clean this modern-day, Puerto Rican version of the Augean Stables. (Dung, flies, horses' asses...yeah, the analogy is perfect.) The Internet will be Our cleansing river, if We choose to be Hercules.
Politics as architecture is what Mitch was talking about. Instead of a monument of political effectiveness, We have a filthy stable. No wonder We're stuck where We are.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
29 May 2006
Stray Thoughts
---Allow Me to point you to a fascinating experiment launched by Toby Bloomberg, the ever-fabulous creator of The Diva Marketing blog. Called Blogger Stories, it gathers anecdotes of how blogging has connected people. Toby generously invited Me to contribute and here it is. I can only shake My head in amazement at how obviously useful this idea is and applaud Toby for making it happen.
---You may have noticed a sort of "spurt" pattern in The Jenius' posts lately: a few days of nothing followed by 2-3 posts landing at once. Well, that's a sign a schedule change is needed, so beginning this week, The Jenius will be a MWF blogger. You're welcome to make up your alternate description of "MWF".
---Local ad-rag Caribbean Business has Caguas Mayor "Willie" Miranda Marín on the front cover under the headline "The Next Governor of Puerto Rico?" Nothing The Jenius didn't bring up 19 days ago...
---The Top 10 Signs of the Impending U.S. Police State. This is NOT a joke, unless you love pro-fascist stances. Look at this article and compare to My oft-repeated post on the U.S. as a fascist country. Statehooders! Beware! Those of you living closer to the murderous moron in the Oval Office can continue chewing your cud while the electrified and bugged barbed wire backed by 50,000 volt cattle prods goes up around your bovine indifference.
---Along political lines, here's a test for you statehooders: it's called The U.S. Constitution Test as used by the Immigration and Naturalization Services. The version used here (hint!) was used until the year 2000, so you assimilation pukes can test your ability to be deemed worthy of citizenship by taking the test. (Yeah, I know, you are already citizens. Big deal. Put your mind where you want the money to come from...) Before you ask, The Jenius scored 99 of...99. Question #31 doesn't apply. According to the murderous moron (who'd score a solid 23 on this test if Dick helped him cheat), questions 38, 76, 77, 78, 84 and 92 should be obliterated. He already took care of #87 with Diebold traitor technology (see #5 of The Top 10 Signs of the Impending U.S. Police State.)
---Kaleb and I watched the Indianapolis 500 this past Sunday. A marvelously thrilling finish as 19-year old rookie driver Marco Andretti was barely nipped at the finish by crafty veteran Sam Hornish, Jr. Kaleb asked Me why Andretti didn't drive "in front of" Hornish (blocking him as he drafted out to slingshot his way to a victory) and I said that would have been very dangerous. Imagine My pleasure when Andretti said the same thing, that he chose to avoid that kind of maneuver because it was decidedly unsafe. A teenager in the greatest race of his life and he shows a level of maturity that's sadly all too rare in older "adults."
---The monkeys are here!! The monkeys are here!! Some twenty years after being accidentally released in Mayagüez, wild monkeys have arrived near San Juan. (Actually, Cataño to be exact, improving its scenery by a factor of 2.) Of course, now that the monkeys are no longer confined to the southwest corner of the Island (where The Jenius lives), now that the monkeys that tear up crops, ruin property and carry deadly diseases are a local problem, now San Juaneros want something done about it. The Jenius is torn between organizing the monkeys into closed-access neighborhood terrorist squads or letting the pea-brained verminous misfits attack The Capitol, shred The Fools to pieces and take over their "jobs." Three immediate advantages: brighter legislators, reduced expenses and quieter debates.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
---You may have noticed a sort of "spurt" pattern in The Jenius' posts lately: a few days of nothing followed by 2-3 posts landing at once. Well, that's a sign a schedule change is needed, so beginning this week, The Jenius will be a MWF blogger. You're welcome to make up your alternate description of "MWF".
---Local ad-rag Caribbean Business has Caguas Mayor "Willie" Miranda Marín on the front cover under the headline "The Next Governor of Puerto Rico?" Nothing The Jenius didn't bring up 19 days ago...
---The Top 10 Signs of the Impending U.S. Police State. This is NOT a joke, unless you love pro-fascist stances. Look at this article and compare to My oft-repeated post on the U.S. as a fascist country. Statehooders! Beware! Those of you living closer to the murderous moron in the Oval Office can continue chewing your cud while the electrified and bugged barbed wire backed by 50,000 volt cattle prods goes up around your bovine indifference.
---Along political lines, here's a test for you statehooders: it's called The U.S. Constitution Test as used by the Immigration and Naturalization Services. The version used here (hint!) was used until the year 2000, so you assimilation pukes can test your ability to be deemed worthy of citizenship by taking the test. (Yeah, I know, you are already citizens. Big deal. Put your mind where you want the money to come from...) Before you ask, The Jenius scored 99 of...99. Question #31 doesn't apply. According to the murderous moron (who'd score a solid 23 on this test if Dick helped him cheat), questions 38, 76, 77, 78, 84 and 92 should be obliterated. He already took care of #87 with Diebold traitor technology (see #5 of The Top 10 Signs of the Impending U.S. Police State.)
---Kaleb and I watched the Indianapolis 500 this past Sunday. A marvelously thrilling finish as 19-year old rookie driver Marco Andretti was barely nipped at the finish by crafty veteran Sam Hornish, Jr. Kaleb asked Me why Andretti didn't drive "in front of" Hornish (blocking him as he drafted out to slingshot his way to a victory) and I said that would have been very dangerous. Imagine My pleasure when Andretti said the same thing, that he chose to avoid that kind of maneuver because it was decidedly unsafe. A teenager in the greatest race of his life and he shows a level of maturity that's sadly all too rare in older "adults."
---The monkeys are here!! The monkeys are here!! Some twenty years after being accidentally released in Mayagüez, wild monkeys have arrived near San Juan. (Actually, Cataño to be exact, improving its scenery by a factor of 2.) Of course, now that the monkeys are no longer confined to the southwest corner of the Island (where The Jenius lives), now that the monkeys that tear up crops, ruin property and carry deadly diseases are a local problem, now San Juaneros want something done about it. The Jenius is torn between organizing the monkeys into closed-access neighborhood terrorist squads or letting the pea-brained verminous misfits attack The Capitol, shred The Fools to pieces and take over their "jobs." Three immediate advantages: brighter legislators, reduced expenses and quieter debates.
The Jenius Has Spoken.
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