19 February 2010

Bitch Slappin' The Legislature

Our (Out)House of Representatives invited the great-grandson of José De Diego, the illustrious political leader, journalist, poet, lawyer (okay, he wasn't perfect) and former President of the House of Delegates (the precursor to what has devolved into today's OutHouse) to the unveiling of new portraits in the Capitol Building. The gentleman, Reinaldo Segurola Pérez, agreed to be present if he was allowed to speak to the assembled for about 5 minutes. His request was never answered and he did not attend the event.

Mr. Segurola, Esq. did however, send current OutHouse president Jenniffer "Gluttonny" González the following letter, which I have translated with relish:

Madames and Sirs,

I address all of you, you who have the stigma of being part of the most disgraced Governmental branch in our country. I would like to think that my words represent the feelings of the immense majority of decent Puerto Ricans, regardless of ideology, be they supporters of statehood, commonwealth or independence, unaffiliated, indifferent or apolitical, if such exist.
You, with your arrogant attitudes, have been as incapable of hearing the voice of the people who are FED UP and tired of your wasteful spending and the privileges you enjoy as representatives at the expense of the people. It brings to mind the Hans Christian Andersen story of "The Emperor's New Clothes." [With Gluttonny as the Empress?! Yoiks.] The image we have of you, though you pretend otherwise, is not that of erudite persons committed to the public good. Your clothing is made of lies. What we see beyond the electoral office you misrepresent is a smug bunch unaffected by the supposed crisis, handing out our money to your cronies and thus losing any shred of moral power to approve the laws that have done so much harm to public employees and the people at large.

In our eyes you are much parasites as so many others who, condemned to laziness and dependence, wander around, chubby and red-cheeked, tied to a welfare system. We really don't care, as you preen yourselves about this, if you are spending more or less than your predecessors: it is STILL spending too much and for such poor legislation. Your insensitive actions, primitive and uncultured, have earned you the moniker of Visigoths. You hide behind the Capitol Building's marble, making decisions that only help your powerful friends, while you continue to alienate that vast majority of the population.

Put your ear to the ground, because soon, the indifference could become anger. You'd better understand that there are very few who respect you and that you will pass into history stamped with the people's disdain.

Personally, I tell you that, as a lawyer, I am ashamed that you have dared to approve legislation to destroy the Bar Association*, and as the great-grandson of José de Diego, I must say I am appalled that his painting is close to other politicians that we consider unpatriotic, uncultured and ignorant, and though they have political power, they lack the moral and intellectual authority to truly represent our country.

[* The local Bar Association, known as Colegio de Abogados, was dismantled by the current legislature and are now being barred--pun intended--from evaluating judicial appointments, as per procedure in the States.]

Mr. Segurola...Visigoths?! High five, My man! (Look it up, people. Visigoths, not high five.) I don't agree with everything you wrote, but I am very glad you wrote it.

As for the idiotic, dirty, parasitic, thieving vermin who are the targets of the letter: If the shoe fits, fuck 'em with it.

Nowhere near as classy as Mr. Segurola, but I definitely got My point across pithily.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

1 comment:

Kofla Olivieri said...

I need to add RedBetances on my reading list, nice letter, lol