16 November 2009

Questionable Quest

Here's a head-scratcher: According to a local fish-wrapping rag named El Nuevo Día, Our (Faux)Secretary of (Mis)Education, Carlos "What? Me Worry?" Chardón is going to Qatar.

In fact, he is there right now, unless Qatar barred his entry.

For you statehooders, Qatar is an island in the Persian Gulf. For you commonwealthers, the Persian Gulf is east of Africa. Which is a continent. Africa, not the Gulf.

Why is the Bumbling Behemoth going to Qatar, the only country whose name begins with a "q"? To foul the air of the World Innovation Summit for Education (WISE)

This after Selector of Drug Trafficker basically sold out a major chunk of the local Education department's present and future budget by continuing to suck at the Microsoft cesspool instead of exploring the many viable open source options that cost Us--Us, the freaking taxpayers--nothing.

Apparently the Worry-free Whale has everything under control...unless you count the horrendous showing Our students had on standardized tests (Example: less than 1% of Our high schol students scored "Proficient" in Math)...unless you count the fact that the Federal government is again threatening to slap the department and government with the "You Be Crooked" stamp...unless you count that the Federal Affairs Office is in the hands of someone who came on board less than two weeks ago...that the firings throughout the department are frozen, creating greater uncertainty...that there are several investigations going on concerning potential fraud in the use of ARRA and Title funds dating to this year alone...and that there's an increasing outbreak of violence and even swine flu in Our schools.

Nope, Overgrown Oaf is on the ball. In Qatar. Says technology can keep him in close touch. Uh-huh. Like the Fire Chief can put out the fire in San Juan while on vacation in Mazatlán.

Am I implying the Broad Bulge is on vacation? Of course...not. Uh, no. No! He's, uh, trying to find solutions to Our educational problems...in the farthest fucking corner of the planet he can imagine because his fat brain and fat-assed cronies can't find any solutions anywhere closer. 

That or he's getting out of Dodge before the sheriffs show up. Either way, he's wasting his time and Our money,

Here's the thing: We are at the point in Our educational system where it isn't a matter of finding a solution in a desert, it's a matter of implementing proven ideas, processes and techniques that you can find in about an hour's worth of research on the Web. (Note to the Jumbo Jetsetter: The Web, too, is a technology that can keep you in touch with your job. The right way. Not like the 767 you just wedged yourself into.)

Here's an example: The Kumon Math method. Yes, it's a business, but it has a method. Same as Montessori: a conceptual framework for education. No one has to go to Qatar or Liechtenstein or Myanmar to "learn" about education. Here's the quick list of sources the Voluminous Vagabond can use to find good ideas closer to home: teachers, edcuation students and entrepreneurs. 

--Teachers: Yeah yeah yeah, I call most of them "too lazy and too stupid to do any other job," but there are plenty of dedicated men and women who do know how to teach and have ideas that could make a world of difference. And if you want to visit a "q" place, Super-Sized Secretar(iat), may I suggest "Quebradillas"?

--Education students: They don't know better, having no experience with the actual classroom, so they are bound to latch onto some things that just sound cool. And given that We have sucked at almost everything We've tried to do to fix education, letting over-eager wannabes bring their energy and something cool to the classroom could be a step in the right direction. It's not like We're making a ton of progress now, is it?

--Entrepreneurs: Kumon is a business concept centered on education results.  It works because it damn well better work or some other business concept centered on education will come along and kick its sorry ass to the curb. We need results--results, dammit--not wild goose chases and butt-buddy thievery masquerading as "Taking care of Our most important asset."

And if that quick list doesn't inspire the Immense Idlemind to seek solutions, I once again suggest he crank up Explorer on his Windows 7 P(iece of) C(rap)--paid for by Our idiotic generosity--and browse around until the silicon version of swine flu wipes out his hard drive.

The he can use Linux and the quick list to get some REAL work done.

The Jenius Has Spoken. 

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