18 May 2006

Wall This!

Yep. The murderous moron in the White House is supporting the notion of building a wall between the United States of America and the United States of Mexico. A "state-of-the-art" wall, with cameras and thermal sensors and motion detectors and all that crap. Oh, and 6,000 National Guardsmen for that "greenish" tint so necessary in desert climes.

Now, because the world screams "copycat" at the slightest semblance of imitation (see: The Da Vinci Code/Holy Blood, Holy Grail), let's scream "Berlin Wall!" and then build Our own walls before the Tex-Mex brix are placed upright along the frontier.

Here's My list of things in Puerto Rico that need walls all around them:

1) The Capitol Building: wall the Fecal-Filled Fools inside, a la "A Cask of Amontillado." (Welcome to the literary portion of Gil The Jenius!)

2) La Fortaleza: a wall surrounding it so that nobody can get in. Those that try should be shot. (Berlin Wall!)

3) Banco Popular: let them buy their way out, with cash.

4) El Nuevo Día: they can shred the paper and use it more effectively as an absorber of urine, feces, saliva and as kindling to roast their little weinies. And I ain't talking about hot dogs...

5) Every fast-food joint that has a manager whose expression is that of a monkey sucking a lemon.

6) Every store that checks your receipt as you walk out and then pretends "it's for your safety."

7) Every pothole. Talk about saving on gas...

8) Lares. Because a handful of cretins believe something important happened there...

9) Cataño. Because it's there.

10) Nail salons. They stink, the women in them look like hell and they stink. So do the salons.

11) Bars that haven't seen a woman in them since the Reagan Administration. That would wall off some 30% of them right now...and We wall them off with their barflies inside, of course.

12) Every public school.

Oh, wait a minute: We did #12 already...

The Jenius Has Spoken.

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