Procedural Vermin

[Once again, My Thanks to Global Voices Online for picking up another Jenius post, though this one creates in Me the vivid definition of "mixed feelings"...]

"How will this play out? Health nominee hung, Public-Private Alliances tabled, Convention Center named Stupid, Education nominee confirmed and the sequel "Cringing Larva, Horrid Vermin" playing out before Our bloodshot eyes..."

Quoting Me, of course. 

In the words of a clown: How'm I doin'? 

--Education nominee, a.k.a. Political Animal harboring drug-dealing parasite, confirmed.

--Convention Center named for Stupid Pedro Rosselló.

--Public-Private Alliances tabled as in "Politics trumps Potential Solutions."

--And today, Health Secretary nominee dropped like a lead bedpan, hung by political opposition that never even tried to vet him.

So by default (emphasis on "fault") the "Cringing Larva, Horrid Vermin" scenario is here, giving Me a 5-for-5 sweep.

Hold your applause. And your nose. 2005 is back with a vengeance: a mud-headed governor backpedaling like a drunken crab from a legislative whore hell-bent on destroying him politically. (Sorry, I wrote "whore." I meant "whores.") Only back then, there were two parties involved. Now there's only one. If you can call it a party. It's more like a drunken leper colony pretending to be the Royal Court of Narnia.

Six months into a (non)administration, The Larva, (non)governor Luis Fortuño, has yet to achieve Cabinet completion. Is this the model of government the state(of chaos)hood party said would be "the standard for progressive government"? (The name of the party is the New Progressive Party, so they made a play on words that... Oh forget it. It's too easy.)

Back in 2005, they smarmily excused their retarded behavior by claiming they were "defending the people's interests," a concept none of them could properly define in 50 words or less. Now what smarmy excuse do they have? None. So they claim "procedure," as in "analysis," "scrutiny" and "evaluation." Even if none of them could define any of those terms in 50 words or less. Using a dictionary. Read to them. Slowly.

Let's face it: We're in the slimy clutches of microcephalic vermin, sub-creatures subsisting on blind instinct and greedy hunger. To sustain and maintain healthy existence, vermin must be minimized, up to the point of destruction, if need be. 

You can write the ending to that paragraph. Unless you're in the statehood party, where you'd be more inclined to "analyze," "scrutinize" and "evaluate" what you will never complete. Or understand.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

Shame On (and For) Us

There are times, very few times, when one feels intense shame for one's country.

This is one of them.

I lived less than a block from Ocean Park beach for over a year. I played football there, threw Frisbees, gained a massive scar along My left knee trying to catch an Aerobie, played beach volleyball there, swam, surfed, threw rocks, saw the sun rise and set, sat through a major thunderstorm with waves crashing several feet from Me...I felt at home there, on the sand, along the shore.

Puerto Rico is My home. It's where My heart is, where My son is, where My family and many of My friends live. Of them, there is never a feeling except a positive one. But when one sees what one's people are capable of doing...

No, this isn't torture. Or genocide. Those are horrible crimes committed by beasts. What this video shows is a crime, albeit a small one in the pantheon of evil. The shame comes not from it being a crime, but from the indifference leading to and suffusing it.

Watch the video, if you can, with the pseudo-cool jazz music as counterpoint. Look at what the camera captures with stark objectivity. And know that every piece of garbage--every one of the thousands of pieces of garbage--indicts Us with its clear message of unconcern, of consumerism, of brainlessness, of herd mentality, of disdain, short-sightedness and sheer incompetence.

As the alleged tourists said: It must be cultural. Before this video, I would have argued it was human nature.

Now I can only reply: Yes, I guess it is.

Shame on Us.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

Stupid Convention Center

Let's see... I'm just rummaging through here to see if I can find some kind of prediction, some kind of Jenius insight that I can turn into a blog post... Well whaddaya know...

The local excuse for a senate has approved a bill to name the Puerto Rico Convention Center the Pedro Rosselló Convention Center.

Hee-hee. Let's go to the replay!

"(Senate president Thomas Rivera, a.k.a.) Tantrum is even pushing the idea of naming the Puerto Rico Convention Center after (Pedro Rosselló, a.k.a.) Stupid, making it the Stupid Convention Center, which is perfectly apt as the damn thing is too small to attract mega-conventions, too big to adequately serve a majority of local expos, has lousy architecture that makes it non-modular and is saddled with too many parasitic employees to make it cost-effective.

So, yes, it makes perfect sense to name it the Pedro Stupid Rosselló Convention Center..."

Now, of course, Tantrum didn't push that bill through based on My scintillating analysis... or actually, he did: "...(B)y ramming that (the naming) down ([non]governor Luis Fortuño's, a.k.a.) The Larva's throat and by making the naming of the white elephant an equal-par issue with The Larva's cabinet--key players in any chance We have of making progress in the here and now--Tantrum is flexing political muscle in brainless fashion. Nothing new there. And The Larva is waffling and sidestepping. Nothing new there, either."

Good times, good times. Let's name a barren excuse for an economic tool after a barrel of excuses tool. The Stupid Convention Center it is! And all this wrapped in the pissant dick-slinging of two microcephalic (and microgenitalic) Fools with the vision of garden slugs. Hooboy! It don't get any better than this! Can you feel the excitement?!

I'm actually hoping the Stupid Convention Center gets condemned because of widespread black mold. That would help it match the color of its namesake's purported soul.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

Above (My) Average Brethren

There's a shortage of solutions on My Island.

We have problems--many problems--and though there's a super-abundance of empty-headed, knee-jerk criticism (not by Me), self-interested smarmy poppycock (not by Me) and overblown narcissistic shouting (again, not by Me), there is a very distinct lack of truly thoughtful discourse going on around Us, conversations that lead to real solutions rather than convenient-for-someone schemes.

I often have thoughtful discourse and sometimes it's with other people. Many of My friends and colleagues are of high intelligence, are aware of reality and can articulate a problem, an analytical approach and a series of potential solutions without resorting to demagoguery. We engage in this kind of behavior waaaay more often that Our average brethren. Off the top of My head I'd say We do this 153 times more often, in other words, Our average brethren would take 153 years to match what My colleagues and I do in one year.

Arrogant? Nah. It's just the truth.

But what, pray tell, do We accomplish with so much discourse, aside from either dampening or firing up Our initial attitudes about the subject matter?

Good question. 

Wish I had an answer. Oh, I do, but it's kinda vague: We do this to keep Our eyes and minds open to act upon a solution when We see it emerging.

Yeah. A bit on the lame side. It smacks of passivity, of "Let someone else do the work and I'll jump on board as soon as there's a bandwagon that can support My weight." But even as lame as that sounds, it's light-years ahead of Our average brethren, for whom "solutions" not couched in terms of "Here's your check" have no chance of occupying space in their oh-so-narrow worldview.

I could say I'm getting to be a cranky, cantankerous curmudgeon, if it weren't for the fact that I've pretty much always been a pedantic, sarcastic smart-aleck. And I have no more defense for that attitude other than it keeps Me focused on trying to find solutions for Our woes, keeps Me going back to those who can seriously challenge My beliefs and prove Me wrong and occasionally thrusts Me in the position of actually having to put My money where My mouth is, which I do waaaay more often than...well, you know.

So that's My stand. Average Brethren: what's yours?

The Jenius Has Spoken. 

Pirates Fever Boils Over

I'm a Pittsburgh Pirates fan. Yeah, go ahead, scoff. Or pity Me. Even a Jenius has a soft spot in His head. And this is definitely Mine.

I wrote about this a while back, this affection for a team that, by now, has tied the record for most consecutive losing seasons in baseball history: sixteen. Uh-huh, 16 years of "Wait 'til next year!"

But next year is pretty much like the last year. Sixteen times in a row.

Last year, the Pirates traded their top player, Jason Bay, to the Red Sox and their quality right fielder, Xavier Nady, to the Yankees. What did My Bucs get in exchange? I think 4 minor league prospects and a glove. I hear the glove is making progress through Double A ball...

Now I find out that the Pirates, My Pittsburgh-Clemente-played-here-Pirates, have traded their current best player, Nate McClouth, to the... Atlanta Braves. Like one of the solid LaRoche brothers says, you start wondering who's going to be left, for in less than one season, the Pirates traded away their ENTIRE outfield so they could become starters for pennant-contending teams.

I'm just a Jenius, you know, but wouldn't three above-average outfielders HELP your freaking-ass team?!? With the LaRoche brothers, Jack Wilson and Freddie Sanchez, the Pirates had a solid core of young players, of which 3 are gone and who knows, maybe the other 5 will be, too. It's like a fire sale, only that the Pirate fans are the ones getting burned. 

So three nights later, guess who recently-traded Nate hit his first home run against? Shit. Helped beat the Pirates, although Nate's replacement had 2 triples. Woo. And hoo.

And in their never-ending descent to cheapskate gutters, the Pirates actually signed the 2 Indian (from India) "pitchers" who sucked the least in some Indian "reality" show. I think they got them both for $40,000 and a crate of "The Simpsons" DVDs Barry Bonds left behind in his haste to stab steroids in his butt on the West Coast.

As it stands right now, the Pirates are 4 games under .500, their pitching is spotty, their hitting is typical of a young team (hot and cold) and the Indians are somewhere in reserve. I'd say their on a reservation clause, but I'm too disgusted to go there.

Will the Pirates win at least 81 games this year, when rumors fly that 2-3 more players are on the trading block? Hell, I don't think they can 81 games without Nate, Jason and Xavier. They didn't when all three were there, albeit younger. But now they're gone and We have youngsters peeking over their shoulders and dreading that call into the manager's office that says "You've been traded to..."

But I hope they can. I really do. So that after 16 miserable years of 5-year plans and turnarounds and getting a new focus We can actually see that 81 in the W column and sigh with relief. It's definitely not much, but it's what I'll take if I can get it.

The Jenius Has Spoken. 

Don't Care, Won't Care

This won't take long...

I was asked--by My Special One--how I could be insensitive to the situation the displaced government workers are going through and essentially unmoved by the more layoffs to come. I wasn't asked that in order to point a finger or raise a welt from criticism, but more as a window to My thoughts.

Take a look:

---I believe most government workers--the bulk of the bureaucracy--are mediocre workers at best...and they know it. That's why they choose the "security" of government work, do a lousy job at it, hate it with a passion, but don't dare leave to actually have to earn a living in the private sector.

---I believe most government workers are replaceable with machines, better systems and dead space. That includes the legislative outhouse and its seepage systems.

---I believe the government started growing in number of jobs in order to make up for a lack of imagination, creativity and intelligence brought on by winning the faux-governor's mansion without being prepared for it. Yes, I'm talking about Luis "Piano Man" Ferré and his "stuff the government and build highways with my company's cement" economic disaster "plan." 

---And I believe the self-same goverment, led by facetious weasels of all parties, have perpetuated the "stuff the government" blood sausage of plan in order to increase their levels of influence. Screw the economy, they cackle (weasels do cackle), We're in this for power!

So when--if...IF--those excessive jobs are hacked and slashed to oblivion, I won't feel any pain, remorse or sympathy for the clueless mediocrities who mark time in exchange for money, who clog the septic system like cement-laden feces and drag the talented and hard-working lot of Us down to their pathetic level.

The sooner they start wailing, the better.

The Jenius Has Spoken. 

Jenius Does Info

Another Jenius Thanks to Janine Mendes-Franco for grabbing another of My posts for Global Voices Online. I simply must meet this woman...

Jenius Friend Kevin Shockey thought it would be interesting if I explained My information-sifting system. First, the why.

On a daily basis, I will send 3-12 e-mails to people, from My Special One to Family to Friends to Colleagues with links to stuff I think they would like. Many people do this; I do it constantly. For another, I write or speak about a wide variety of topics and will often get consulted on a topic to which I can provide a cogent reponse and expanded information.

There's a reason I'm known as a Jenius (though I'll concede this might not be it.)

So here's the system: I use Opera as My browser (almost always have, always will) and its start page for Me is Speed Dial, a one-page icon-sized preview of My daily websites. These are: Lifehacker, Madville, Metafilter, BoingBoing, Neatorama, Reddit, Mixx, Google News (personalized), Hey It's Free!, The Sports Guy and 9Rules.

Every morning I go to Lifehacker, Madville, Metafilter, Neatorama and Reddit, in that order. Takes Me about 10-20 minutes and I almost always find 8-16 links I can use. I will revisit each of these 2-5 times, depending on how much time I spend in front of My Mac and how bored I might be, adding about 8-18 more a day. (Yes, I kept track so I could make reasonable estimates. I'm very glad  that's over.)

I visit Mixx and Hey It's Free! once a day; Google News and The Sports Guy 3-4 times a week and 9Rules once a week. From 9Rules I can get 12-30 links in about 20 minutes.

I also have a Session (Opera allows for saving multiple bookmarks to reopen as a group) called ZipBang (for reasons I misplaced in the flood) which has Synthesis, Dumb Little Man, Socyberty, Woot!, Zen Habits, Wise Bread, The Red Ferret Journal, Lifehack, Kottke.org and io9. (Eclectic Jenius be I.) I go through these in about 5 minutes, finding 1-3 links a day on average.

I have another Session called Twice Weekly (functional name this time) which contains 1001 Rules for My Unborn Son, Arts & Letters Daily, Buzz Feed, Cool Tools, Cool Websites, Dondequiera (a local blog sadly on hiatus right now), How to Save the World (Dave Pollard's astonishingly smart and irritating blog), My Digital Life, On Simplicity, Puerto Rico: A Paradise Lost?, Roasted Peanuts, Slashfood, Springwise and Stat of the Day. From these I get 2-5 links per session.

Then I have My e-mails, where I receive anywhere from 2 to 9 feeds a day on topics ranging from federal grants, tech news and online education to creativity/innovation, philanthropy/fundraising, sciences, health/medicine and board games. (Yes, I said "board games.")

Doing some quick math, you'll guess I spend about 80-120 minutes a day on this "information track" and you'd be right. You'd also guess I collect about 34-44 links a day, and again, you'd be right. But if only about 8-9 go out, where do the rest go?

I have over 11,000 bookmarks in Opera, with almost 95 folders in the Manage Bookmarks section. All of these are currently synched online (Opera does that automatically) so I can access them from any computer by logging into MyOpera. Most bookmarks are stored in My Action, To Do, Jenius or project folders (currently 4 are open; 2 more coming on board this weekend) or in several other folders, one of which is a series called GrabBag (now in its 10th iteration, with each one averaging 178 bookmarks.) (Yes, I counted.)

For sharing, I'll run every link I look at through a mental checklist, summarized here: Me (of course), My Special One, Kaleb, projects, colleagues, Jenius, friends, Twitter or trash. I recently re-upped on Twitter and its primary purpose is to serve as a File 12 before I go File 13 on what I'm reading.

Then (you didn't think I was finished, right?) I scan almost every link I open for links to other items that might be interesting (My longest segue, I think, took Me through over 30 websites and 3 hours) and follow those until I either have to work, reach a dead end or get bored. Lately My segues have averaged about 5-6 link trails a day.

I also receive some magazines (through Zinio) and do research on 3-4 topics a week which also lead Me down link trails. So if I tell you I spend, on average, 14-16 hours a week on "info-sifting," you know I ain't joking. 

And all this I do for the simple pleasure of zapping My Brain with something new, whether it's a medical procedure, a political argument, a tech meme, a sport stat, a new technology, a business trend, breaking news, trivia, financial advice, science theory, science fact, science fiction or a landscape picture for wallpaper. 

Oh, Twitter is back on My Speed Dial and I try to drop in on it 2-3 times a day. But much like listening to random conversations around town, it is boring. I'm looking around again to replace it with something useful and interesting, which shouldn't be hard at all.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

Gluttonny Unleashed

Oops, I did it again.

That line might make you think of Ms. Spears, and if so, please imagine the bloated fat skank, not the poster girl for Google porn searches. You'll see why in a minute.

First, some quotes:

"Will: Here "Gluttonny" takes a clear lead, rating at an 8 to "Tantrum"'s 5, largely because the latter hitched his will to former (mis)governor Pedro Stupid Rosselló while "Gluttonny" only pretended to hitch hers to The Larva's barely-existent will."

"3) She no longer looks to The Larva in the governor's mansion for guidance. Her smackdown of "Conny" was not an action The Larva would suggest or condone. This is the first clear action she takes that says she will act outside the narrow limits of The Larva's puny political acumen."

"I pointed out that unless The Larva handled those three aspects well, his term would end in 2012... Why? Because he would face not only public rejection as "another loser," but also internal rejection from "his" party, where candidates such as Thomas "S.S. Don't Mean Social Security" Rivera (soon to be Senate President) and Jenniffer "Gluttonny" González were already plotting to challenge for the governorship."

"For example, if "Gluttonny" (Oh boy, talk about a drumbeat...) had asked Me why I gave her that nickname, I would point to the post and say "You're in politics mainly for yourself." She could argue that I'm wrong, but the weight of the evidence--as I see it--shows her grabbing everything she can for her own benefit."

All four quotes clearly apply to (Out)House president Jenniffer "Gluttonny" González, she of the hefty...ambitions. Hard-nosed, sometimes vehement suppporter of dark horse candidate Luis "The Larva" Fortuño back when the choice was either him in his geeky awkwardness or former (con)governor Pedro Stupid Rosselló, the rabid mad dog of the Virginia lowlands. Time passed and "Gluttonny"'s hefty...support for now (non)governor Luis "The Larva" Fortuño has become a snarling grab for 2012 positioning.

At a time when the government's excessive size makes it the holding pen for a massive herd of incompetents, 'The Larva," after much mealy-mouthed handwringing, cuts 7,800+ jobs and "Gluttonny"--privy to every government and party discussion on this matter--suddenly turns around and lashes at the putative leader of her government and party and takes him to task in defense of those jobs.

Why? Why would "Gluttonny" do this? She's a high-ranking member of the same party the (non)governor belongs to (but doesn't lead.) She's a key legislative Fool--er, cog--in "The Larva's" (non)administration. So she's right there with "The Larva" in this much-needed step to restore Our socioeconomic strength.

And that's the problem. The solution is needed, but "Gluttonny" wants no part of it...for it severely interferes with her ambitions to replace "The Larva."

Don't think so? You're wrong. In this job-cuts solution, the other key ("key" as in "obnoxious") player is Thomas "Tantrum" Rivera, who has already made it overabundantly clear he wants no part of "The Larva" and has already staked his "higher ground" to belittle the (non)governor. Only "Gluttonny" is still seen as a "team player" on "The Larva"'s feckless and winless team.

Until today. "Gluttonny" has just made the first overt move on her positioning campaign for 2012. She picked her moment to keep "Tantrum" from gaining too much ground, for though he might still be tainted by his "I'm with Stupid" past, the party voters in general have short memories and low IQs. (So do the other party's voters, but I digress.)

So having pegged "Gluttonny" and her ambitions from Day One, now what? A warning: "Gluttonny" is not aiming for leadership. Leadership is beyond her and she's just perceptive enough to know that. No, her aim is power. And whether she hits the target or not with that aim, We're the ones who will take the hit.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

The Puerto Rican Way

Today Our government downsized some 7,800+ employees, the vast majority of them temporary workers in the Department of Education; the rest were a small blend from other agencies.

Big. Fat. Hairy. Deal.

Yes, yes I know these are ex-workers who now face a higher degree of uncertainty in their lives. My response to that is: Boo. Hoo.

And before you fire a "But what if it happened to you?" at Me, I can fire first: I would never work as a government employee. I'm too damn smart. So there.

The fact remains that 7,800-something employees is but 10%--or maybe less--of the fat that needs to be trimmed from the government overbloat, a reckless excess that dates back to the late 1960s and has continued unabated until today. Maybe. Because unless it continues and gets into the 30,000-50,000 jobs cut range, today's cut will merely be another small bump down the long road to collapse.

Our pathetic excuse for a government has created, as Jenius Friend Kevin Shockey points out, the closest thing to a socialized democracy there is in the U.S. of part of A. Some 23% of all Our workers are directly employed by the government and some 24% more are indirectly employed. Toss in the hordes that do nothing else but sponge off of welfare and you can say that 60-70% of Our adults are purely government wards.

The situation is worse because the increase in goverment jobs came at the expense of Our economic growth, superficially bolstering income statistics and consumer spending while true economic growth and its motors (industry, business, entrepreneurism, research) were treated like venereal diseases.

And lest We ignore this point, both major parties and every lamebrain governor We've ever had, male or female, has contributed to the problem, all of them ignoring the obvious economic consequences of shoving 20 employees where 6 will do in favor of buying votes with cronyism. It's "the Puerto Rican way." And that's why I wouldn't work for the government: I'm too damn smart to accept "the Puerto Rican way."

So in the same spirit that "the Puerto Rican way" accepted with gritted teeth the "jobs lost when government changed parties," now We have to accept "jobs lost because the damn party is over." The free ride should have ended long ago, so if you're one of the 7,800+ that got dumped, boo freaking hoo. You never should have been there in the first place.

So maybe now you can stay within "the Puerto Rican way" and clamp onto welfare as your sole support. Then you can sit back and stare at your 45" plasma TV as the rest of the offal hits the ceiling fan.

If We're lucky.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

Holy? Hell (No)!

A priest, long known for supposedly making women's loins catch fire because of his chaste hunky looks, is caught on camera hugging, kissing and getting to second base with a bikini-clad woman.

A local "religious leader," a guy who slaps together a "religious" event in front of the Capitol Building every year--even has the gall to call it "Clamor to God"--goes through a nasty divorce where he hounds his ex-wife through the media and fights alimony with claims his multi-million dollar "empire" doesn't pay him anything more than a "small salary."

Another church here, one with a "creationist" museum that ranks up there on the reality scale with wax fruit, has long been infamous for selling its front row seats, for, you know, the exposure and networking potential.

Jimmy Swaggart. Oral Roberts. Jim Bakker. Ted Haggard. Fill in the list with other names, cuz brother, there are plenty. Toss in the local guys who sleep with underage children and "annoint" virgin brides-to-be with their "holy" staffs. Thrown 'em all in there. Then set the whole freaking pile on fire. Give 'em...Hell.

As a species, We've had religions since the first proto-human looked up and around and realized s/he felt small. And throughout that history, humankind has had millions of religious leaders. Some were good, many were forgettable, but some were just scum. And these scum are the ones that gut whatever souls Our societies may have.

That a priest was caught fondling a woman is, to Me, a public relations coup compared to the hundreds of priests who have violated--and violate--children. The ink and airwaves dedicated to this "religious leader" and his wretched antics were too many beyond what's needed to proclaim "He's a fraud." Same with Swaggart, Bakker, Roberts, Haggard with their various sex scandals, some giving, some receiving, and the local boys who in that and other ways pollute Our society with their fraudulent presences.

To Hell with them. To Hell with those who pander to their excesses, who absolve them of blame, who worship the ground they walk on and feed their massive craven egos with money. To Hell with all of them. Because they give Us Hell.

And if, like I, you don't believe in Hell, give them not indifference, but open scorn, the sneering disdain of the truly righteous for the cowardly vermin, the disdain they and their pathetic followers wear so boldly and cannot sustain because cowardly vermin simply cannot ever be truly righteous.

We have a society that is crumbling and these leaders are like glittering rotting fish in the moonlight, attracting the eye with their foulness while the night grows dimmer and the storm approaches. The ones We should heed are quiet, for true good doesn't yell or shout or clamor or weep falsely on thousands of TV sets. The good walks with grace while the scum stagger in their luxury digs.

The next time some priest ruins a child's life or some pastor has a gay fling or some church leader destroys a community, remember that the good is out there, always, and though the media and their idiot followers will rush to the story like dogs to vomit, the good, though often harder to find, is infinitely more worthy of Our attention.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

Happy Birthday, Kaleb!

You're 9 today! A growing boy with an emerging sense of self, a critical eye being honed and a sense of humor that's finding its voice.

Case in point: When I went off on one of My frequent flights of fancy concerning President Obama calling Me at 2 a.m. to wail about how he needs My help to keep solving the world's problems and I remarked that if I'd known how much work I'd have to do to prop up the President I would have run for the office Myself you quickly retorted "You would have been the last white President of the United States."

Cracked. Me. Up.

Another time, you patiently outlasted My stream-of-consciousness verbosity about something or the other and then deadpanned "Sometimes you really do have nothing in Your head."

And there are new depths to you that I am learning to admire. That sunny afternoon when you walked out of your school and told Me you'd been selected "Student of the Month," I high-fived you with a grin and then you took a deep breath and clenched your body in triumph with a heartfelt "Yes!" I knew you'd wanted to win that designation and that you had been denied it at the other school for religious idiocies, but only then did I realize how much you wanted it and how proud you were at having earned it. You deserved it. You have always given a strong effort and I admire you for that.

As I admire you for taking that determination to the basketball court. In Our sadly infrequent pick-up games, you are always the smallest player, but you play the hardest, running, jumping, moving, playing with every ounce of you in the game. You get frustrated, you get upset, but you clench your teeth and get back in the game. And when you make the right play--and you do that more and more--you cherish the moment in a way I never could. And you have learned to ask Me what you did right, though, based largely on My example with My play, you still spend a lot of time on what you did wrong. We'll both work on that.

There are times when I see anxiety in your eyes and in your face. Moments where you are uncomfortable, confused, lost. They hurt every time I see them because I would rather face a hundred such moments Myself than have you go through any painful moment. But I clench My teeth, tighten My gut and act like I don't see what you're going through. These are your lessons to learn, your way, and My job, My very difficult job, is to do nothing but make sure I'm there for you when you need Me. You are not an extension of Me to be controlled, but a brilliant boy who has long shown more abilities than I and thus merits the opportunity to develop in his own way.

And My heart rests easy because every time you truly get stuck, you do come to Me. I hope I haven't let you down, though I know I don't always have the answer you need. My most fervent hope is that even in My weakest efforts, I am giving you something you can use for when I'm not near, to help you in the future when Life seems to get more complicated and confusing. 

But if I leave you with a lesson for now, it's that you can be who you are, that you can take pride in your strengths and be accepting of your weaknesses, building upon one while overcoming the other. Change is a constant and the best changes are the ones you make yourself, on your own, for your own reasons, whether they be in your heart or upon the world.

Your time as a child is drawing to a close, slowly, inevitably. But your time as My child is forever. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I love you, Kaleb. You are a wonder. 

7 Shots, 5 Answers

So seven shots were fired at Our Capitol building, pinging against the walls of the legislative outhouse in some atonal staccato rhythm. Nobody was hurt. And of course, there are questions, to which, of course, I have answers.

Question One: No, I didn't do it. I don't have an alibi because I don't even know when the shots were fired, only that they were. 

Question Two: Yeah I wanted to do that...and more. I believe hundreds of people would answer a quick "Yes" to Do you want to take some potshots at the Capitol building? We're fed up. No, strike that: We're fucking fed up. These walking bags of excrement masquerading as political leaders have taken advantage of Our massively-blind partisanship and massively-blind indifference to turn Our Island into a laughingstock of non-progress. Shoot them? I'd welcome a firing squad or two. For now, We'll have to settle for shooting at them.

Question Three: No, this isn't a bad thing. For one, no one was hurt. For another, the audacity of the act (or convenient cowardice, if you wish) speaks of a decision taken to act because the act itself was deemed necessary. Like taking aim at a rabid dog's head, these shots were fired for a reason, and the fact is, many of Us can find legitimate reasons for such an action. Now you or I may disagree with the person's or persons' reasons, but they had one or more. And if they didn't have a reason, if they did it only because the outhouse was there and they just happened to have gun handy as they drove by, the very attempt says something about the perception of the legislative herd and it isn't good.

Question Four: A conspiracy needs a convenient hook, a plausible-sounding reason that makes a person say "That could be" and then the theorist (lunatic, idiot, propagandist) erects a house of cards that can only stand if the "That could be" premise seems real. There is no conspiracy here, no outlandish plan to have shots fired at the Capitolio to then push measures augmenting security and expenses for the legislative vermin inside. No, this was a random act, applauded by some, decried by a few and ignored by everybody else. After all, why get worked up over chipped marble when We can't get worked up over two murders a day?

Question Five: Yes, I wish it had hit one or two of the Fools. You can make your own guess as to who.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

None So Blind

Over the course of several months, I had a multitude of conversations with people in different walks of life, in private and public sector jobs, from education and retail to government and services. At some point in the conversation, once I felt there was a modicum of interest in continuing it (on My part, not the other person's), I would ask: Who's the person who seeks new opportunities in your workplace?

Not once--not once--did anyone answer the question right off the bat. The most common response was open confusion. The next most-common response was to ask Me to clarify the question, always annoying as I felt the question was pretty much transparent. Which of your co-workers actively seeks new opportunities?

I received only two positive responses. One woman told Me her boss was always looking for opportunities and when I asked her to explain in what way, she spoke sourly of how he takes credit for work he didn't do and implied he might be trying to have an affair with his secretary. The other positive response was from an insurance agent who said he was the opportunity seeker in his office, but then he tells Me how bad sales have become and that he's looking for a government job because "My people need to fill a few holes."

I bet they do.

Seems that keeping one's eyes, ears and mind open in a search for opportunities is not common at all. A couple of people reacted like I'd asked them who ate babies. A few sighed and wished they saw opportunities, and whereas before I would have tried to coax them into seeing that they could, this time I let it slide. Not one made the mental leap from "wishing" to "I can if I want to."

Blame the educational system. Blame a society where blindness of this type is considered "proper." Blame it on politicians who make the word "opportunity" a synonym of "cheating." Blame it on a media that makes money off of seeing doom, gloom and despair everywhere and makes money off of making fun of hope, challenge and triumph. Blame it on Us who let this happen and do nothing when it's brought to Our attention.

Yes, blame. That's the caustic eyewash of those who want not to see. Sprayed all around Us, the none so blind. And We who keep Our eyes open to see often blink simply to disperse tears.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

 

Cartoonish Characters

I made a list of six names, six names known to many of My peeps here in the hood. And it instantly dawned on Me that each was actually a cartoon character come to life:

--Current (non)governor Luis "The Larva" Fortuño, who by his insipid physicality is a dead ringer for Waldo of "Where's Waldo?" fame, is actually Dilbert's Pointy-Eared Boss, talking mainly to himself, clueless to an nth degree and easily dominated by a dog.

--Thomas "Tantrum" Rivera, lead pack member in what passes for the senate here is Grumpy, a cross-armed, frowning, barking dwarf from sunrise to sunset. If he ever actually met Snow White, he'd wet himself.

--(Mis)Education Secretary Carlos "Limbaugh is My Bitch" Chardón is actually Baby Huey, pretending to be big, naive to the point of idiocy and unaware that his diaper is showing.

--Current Baby Huey appointee to the Federal Affairs Office of the Department of (Mis)Education, William "I'm Paranoia's Bitch" Ubiñas, is--who else?--Dopey, the hanger-on, a dwarf best left mute and best kept away from everybody else. If he ever met Snow White, he'd snort her. Again.

--Former (un)governor Aníbal "The Jellyfish" Acevedo, he of the recent exoneration from fraud charges is Kenny, of "South Park" fame: No one really knows what he's saying, he punks out like clockwork and yet he's still--annoyingly--there. 

--And Former (con)governor Pedro Stupid Rosselló is PePe Le Pew, a malodorous beast wooing no one interested in him and tolerable only by other skunks. Or by dogs who no longer have a sense of smell. 

No sense in extending the list to seven, ten or twelve: six is more than enough to taint the joy of cartoons for an afternoon...

The Jenius Has Spoken.

Lazy Or Stupid?

Laziness.

Plumb laziness, as they say in the South. Or maybe not.

We are lazy.

By "We" I mean My Brethren here on the Island of Enchantment. How else can anyone explain the widespread and deep indifference We have to the crumbling nature of Our chaotic corner of the world? Indifference? That's just being too lazy to care. Despair? That's just being too lazy to make an effort. Ignorance? That's just being to lazy to learn...or too stupid.

Okay, now you've done it. You just crossed the line from "Hard-nosed-but-fair-analyst to insulting-jerk-possibly-racist-pig." It happens. Let's see where it leads Us.

If We're to choose between lazy or stupid, Let's be thorough and take them both at the same time first: Are We lazy and stupid?

Aside from the obvious candidates (Okay, since you force Me to: 72% of government employees [including teachers], 64% of Our so-called "media professionals", 48% of fast food employees, 34% of Our police force and 23% of Our politicians. [The other 77% are sub-humans.]), if We were vastly lazy and stupid, We'd be the mindless drones of a more capable, astute group who treat Us like feebs while slyly giving Us the illusion of power and choice when We actually have neither...

Bad example. But it strikes at the core of the matter: Are We lazy or are We stupid? Because from where I'm sitting, it very much could be that We're both.

Too lazy to seek solutions; to stupid to see that tough solutions are needed.

Too lazy to stand up for Ourselves; too stupid to see that it is Our only option.

Too lazy to learn about the world; to stupid to see that there actually is a world out there.

Too lazy to work at building; too stupid to see how much We're destroying.

Too lazy to find out truths; too stupid to see that truths need more than faith.

Too lazy to earn; too stupid to see how complicated Our begging really is.

Too lazy to praise; too stupid in Our criticism.

And if you think that applies to Me, I'll just say I'm lazy...the rest is up to you.

The Jenius Has Spoken.

A Thousand-Yard Stare

I sit outside the office of My son's school every week, almost every day I go. I'm always reading. At his prior school, I'd talk to 1-2 of the parents--if they initiated the conversation. Over here, I don't bother. I don't dislike any of them; I don't know any of them. The two are not mutually inclusive.

Most days the conversation is so much white noise as I take in economics, science fiction, history, intrigue or whatever potion I'm pouring into My brain to keep it occupied on something other than Me and My Thoughts. But sometimes what emerges from the office is too sharp to ignore.

A young mother, mid- to late-twenties, petite, not very pretty and tries too hard to overcome that, only to come off as brittle. Her son is in third grade and doing poorly. Grades slipping from B to just above D. She starts out asking quietly what the problem is. I begin to take notice as her voice becomes querulous, ragged and shrewish.

She's blaming the boy for being lazy. She's interrupting the teacher--who may or may not be competent--and berating the boy for not telling her about that day's make-up test. She segues from lashing out at the boy to telling everyone in earshot, in excessive detail (almost three minutes, by My silent count), all her problems: the divorce, her job, her upcoming trip for a Master's program, her crash diet, her divorce lawyer, his divorce lawyer, her boss and his boss... and the boy wandered off, a thousand-yard stare that didn't lose an inch when she practically shrieked at him to get back here.

I had a long list of things I was going to write concerning this incident, small as it is, in the form of a microcosm of "Our Modern Life." By My estimate, some 7-8 paragraphsm maybe a little more. But the closer I came to writing this, the more three thoughts seemed to float above the overs:

---We are not her and never can be.

---One incident does not a trend make.

---Loneliness is seen in a thousand-yard stare.

The Jenius Has Spoken.